


The Hypnotist

by Pandora_Spocks



Category: Reylo fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, EMDR, ESP, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Hypnosis, Mystery, Parapsychology, Past Lives, Psychic Abilities, Reincarnation, Reylo - Freeform, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Suspense, glitter wands, reverse Anidala
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2019-05-03 10:21:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 96,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14566932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandora_Spocks/pseuds/Pandora_Spocks
Summary: From a galaxy far, far away, soulmates Ben and Rey have been reincarnated on Earth to resolve their karma. Dr. Ben Solo is a charismatic hypnotist to whom present day Reychelle Lumen has been referred to for help with her nightmares. She feels a magnetic attraction to him, and the deeper she goes under hypnosis, the more she remembers about her nightmares...and her previous life.Some characters remember their past lives while others are blissfully ignorant of their past. Not all is as it seems, however, and an ancient evil with an agenda walks among them unrecognized...Canonverse Reylo meets modern Reylo/Reverse Anidala AU, in what this author hopes is a sexy Hitchcock-style suspense thriller with some humor thrown into the mix!





	1. Falling Embers

* * *

 

_A psychiatric outpatient clinic in the Midwest, present day_

 

"I remember something about a fire...embers falling in a dark place."

 

"Go on," a matronly voice encouraged soothingly.

 

"Like...droplets of fire all around me. I feel fear, but not of the fire. It's something else - someone else? Dammit, I can't! I just can't remember anything beyond that!" Rey gave an exasperated sigh and leaned forward, rubbing her temples with her fingertips, elbows resting on her thighs.

 

The sunlight filtered through the blinds in Dr. Maz Kanata's relaxing office space. Rey opened her eyes and looked at the older woman with her kind gaze and empathetic expression. Then she leaned back on the comfortable sofa and unconsciously put a hand on her sternum as her chest constricted. She felt a familiar panic as she struggled to draw a deep breath. 

 

"Rey, remember to breathe. Just breathe. Don't let the anxiety in."

 

"I'm trying. I'm really _trying_ , Maz, but I just don't understand! I've had the same stupid nightmare for months, and I wake up screaming and I don't know _why_. The panic attacks are starting to come more quickly and I can't...I can't..."

 

Rey started to gasp for air. She opened her eyes and tried to breathe as she'd been instructed. Reflexively she grasped the cross she always wore around her neck. She had been in counseling with Dr. Kanata for two years now, but the numerous antidepressants and anxiolytic medications she'd tried were not helping her anxiety. It had become so problematic that she had taken a year off from university to try to deal with the increasing panic attacks and insomnia.

 

The psychologist frowned and scribbled something on the notepad in front of her. She sat across from Rey in an office chair. The office was furnished in warm tones of gold and purple with dark wood bookcases in two corners crammed with psychology textbooks and self-help books. An end table next to Rey contained tissues. A framed cross-stitch of the Serenity Prayer hung on the wall beside the window.

 

"Rey, you know that old saying about how it's always darkest before dawn? I promise you will find your way back to the light again; however, I know how hard you've been struggling recently. We've tried several kinds of medications and relaxation techniques together, but we're not making much progress. If you would be open to it, there is another type of therapy we haven't tried that might help your recall and desensitize you to whatever painful memories lie behind these nightmares. It also could be that the dream is just symbolic of something else. You have a large part of your past that you have trouble recalling, so I think this other therapy might be helpful."

 

Rey sighed and fought the urge to pull out the bottle of Xanax in her purse and take one. "What kind of therapy, Maz? I'm just getting so frustrated with all this, and poor Poe- you know, the new guy I was telling you about last week?"

 

"Poe? I thought his name was Finn." Maz squinted and shuffled through her notes.

 

"That was last month. Sorry, guess I forgot to tell you. Finn turned out to be more of a friend than a boyfriend. Oh, I know! I know you think they never last, but Poe is nice. He's a bit shorter than the guys I usually date, but that comes in handy with being a jockey! You should see him up on a horse! Except his riding silks are this ghastly orange and white, but he even manages to pull those colors off well!" Rey blushed. 

 

"I see." Dr. Kanata smiled at the young woman. Rey's relationships never seemed to last more than a few months at most. She decided it wasn't the time to bring up childhood abandonment issues and instead refocused her patient on the subject at hand.

 

"I'm sure he's very nice, Rey. I'd like to hear more about him in our next session, but before that I would like you to give serious thought to trying EMDR. It stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It's a technique in which you recall your past, and a therapist trained in this type of therapy typically uses a wand or a visual stimulus of some kind and gradually decreases your anxiety and fear of a distressing event."

 

"It sounds a little like hypnotism. Is that even real?" Rey asked skeptically.

 

"It certainly is for patients who are receptive to it," Dr. Kanata said reassuringly. "I know Dr. Solo mentioned there was a trial being conducted here at the clinic on it, so if you'd like to be a participant, you could probably attend for free. I'm sure things are getting a little expensive even with your insurance."

 

"I guess it can't hurt. Sounds interesting, anyway. Yeah, I'd appreciate that," Rey said gratefully. She remembered Dr. Leia Organa-Solo had prescribed her meds once. She hadn’t spent more than 15 minutes with her, but she had seemed nice enough. She glanced at her watch. She was having dinner with Poe after her session, and she wanted to go home and change clothes before she saw him. Standing, she waited as her therapist checked the computer on her desk.

 

"Does next Friday at 4:00 p.m. work for you? I see there is an intake appointment available with Dr. Solo at that time. I can put you in the system if you like. You just show up at the intake desk, and they will show you where the office is. I will see you at our regular time in two weeks."

 

"Great, thanks! See you then," Rey said distractedly, entering the appointment quickly in her phone. She gave her therapist a smile as she walked toward the door. She was in a hurry to get to her studio apartment and tidy things up before Poe came by to pick her up.

 

As she walked out into the parking lot to find her old Honda, she squinted as the bright sunlight in the clear blue sky reflected off shiny vehicles. She fumbled in her purse for her sunglasses. She never knew where they were, which was why she was so glad to find a dozen cat's eye black sunglasses at a thrift store to use as backups. Why did they always seem to be elsewhere when she needed a pair?

 

Feeling a shadow pass overhead, she looked up and was surprised to see the light from the hot summer sun disappearing as a cloud passed over it, making the sunglasses unnecessary. Hadn't the sky been clear just a moment ago? There was no chill in the air, but Rey shivered anyway.

 

* * *

 

 

The following Friday, Rey showed up early to fill out the inevitable paperwork all new physicians required. She walked into the clinic’s cool entranceway and up to the check-in counter to find out where Dr. Solo’s EMDR trial was being held. She was directed to the third floor of the clinic. As she pushed the button on the elevator, she bit her lower lip nervously, not knowing what to expect, even from a doctor as nice as Dr. Organa-Solo seemed to be. The chime of the elevator indicated she had reached her designated floor, and the doors opened to reveal a grey marble hallway with pale mauve walls matching the rest of the clinic and tasteful art prints hung along the corridor.

 

She turned left and looked for suite #66. The hallway was surprisingly unoccupied by other offices which appeared vacant and unused as she passed them. Reaching the end of the hallway, she saw the suite number on the door and “Dr. Solo” on a gold plaque at the side. Taking a deep breath, she turned the knob of the door and entered. She was the only person in the neat waiting area. She approached the window hesitantly and saw a young blonde girl with two oddly shaped buns of hair on top of her head who was filing her nails. Rey cleared her throat and smiled at the girl.

 

"Hi, I'm early. I'm here for my 4:00 p.m. appointment with Dr. Solo."

 

The younger girl glanced up at Rey and looked her up and down, frowning a little. It made Rey more nervous. The girl then turned to her computer and pecked on the keyboard. She looked back up at Rey.

 

 _“You’re_ Reychelle Lumen?”

 

“I go by Rey. I got here a little early in case you needed me to fill out any forms.”

 

“That won’t be necessary. Dr. Solo has access to your file from Dr. Kanata. Please take a seat and I’ll call you when the doctor is ready for you," the girl said with a frosty stare.

 

It took Rey a moment to process what she had said. Well, of course Dr. Solo would have her file. Maz had probably given it to her; there was no harm in that, was there? She started to sit on one of the black leather chairs in the waiting area when the door to the inner office swung open and a large man in black pants and black button-down shirt strode in. Rey’s hand involuntarily went to her neck where she clasped her cross and inhaled sharply. 

 

He was a very tall man, lean, and professionally dressed in dark clothing that reminded her of a priest with the all-black ensemble. His hair was jet black and apparently long in the back, held back at the base of his skull with an elastic band. Feathery waves framed the sides of his skull like a raven’s wings.

 

His features weren’t conventionally handsome, but he had arresting brown eyes behind his clear spectacles. A few moles dotted his angular face. His black button-down shirt didn’t hide the fact that he had a massively built chest. There was something about him that made her stomach do flip-flops.

 

Self-consciously she settled into her seat, wondering who he was. He must be seeing another patient. She had the strange feeling she had seen him before, but he wasn’t the kind of man a girl would be likely to forget.

 

He turned to the secretary behind the glass and murmured, “Thank you, that will be all for today, Connix. This is the last appointment. You may go.” Connix's high voice seemed to be protesting about something Rey couldn't overhear, but he dismissed the girl with a wave of his hand. He turned, smiled charmingly and approached her.

 

“So you're Rey. The girl I’ve heard so much about.”

 

Rey blinked. “What? Who are you?” she asked in confusion.

 

His eyes crinkled a bit at the corners as if bemused at her question. “I’m Dr. Ben Solo. We have an appointment for 4:00 p.m., I believe? Aren't you here to see me? Dr. Kanata filled me in.” He extended his hand to her.

 

Slowly Rey rose from her chair and took his warm hand, noting how large it was and how her own seemed to disappear in his as he shook it firmly, holding onto it for a bit longer than she felt was proper, and she found herself blushing.

 

“I - yes, I do have an appointment, but with Dr. Leia Organa-Solo,” she explained. “I’m here for the EMDR trial. Is she ready for me?”

 

He smiled at her again, a disarming smile, but nevertheless she swallowed and quickly withdrew her hand.

 

“Dr. Leia Organa-Solo retired some months ago, I’m afraid. Did Dr. Kanata not tell you that your appointment was with me?”

 

Rey shook her head. “No, she didn’t. I guess I just assumed it was with her. I met her once briefly before when she refilled my meds. I never heard of any other Solo who worked here.”

 

He peered down at her quizzically from his imposing height. “My apologies for the miscommunication. Are you okay with proceeding, or would you prefer to cancel the appointment? I’d refer you to another EMDR specialist, but I’m afraid there aren’t many of us. I’m the only certified practitioner in this state, actually. But if working with a male clinician makes you nervous, we can certainly cancel.” His dark eyes seemed to be taking her measure, perhaps even challenging her.

 

Rey bristled at the implication that she was afraid of him because he was a man. Lifting her chin, she looked him in the eye. “No, that’s quite alright. Shall we get on with it, Dr. Solo?”

 

His smile broadened, and she heard the slam of a door somewhere in the back as Connix exited the office. “Of course. Follow me, Rey. And please call me Ben.” He went to the door and opened it for her courteously, and she passed him and entered into another hallway. “It’s the office to your right,” he said from just behind her, and she jumped a little at his proximity.

 

Hesitantly, she opened the door and noted the surroundings. It was much larger than Dr. Kanata’s office downstairs and had a sweeping view of the large pond on the grounds. His desk was in the corner by the window, while to her left she saw a small sitting area comprised of a deep black leather sofa against the wall opposite a black leather armchair that she presumed was his. A small table to the right of the soft held tissues and some objects that seemed to sparkle.

 

Adjacent to the sofa and forming an “L” shape with the first was a reclining chaise lounge in charcoal grey, typical of the “Freudian couch” she had seen in cartoons that reclined back with cushions so that one’s legs could be straight out in front of them as they lay back. There were comfy grey throw wraps on both.

 

“Where shall I sit?” asked Rey nervously, not used to the layout of the office.

 

“Anywhere you’d like,” he responded, as he crossed the room quickly to the window and shut the blinds, hitting a button that drew dark blackout curtains over the window, blocking out the view of the pond and the sunlight.

 

Rey was startled at the curtains being drawn. It seemed odd to be in a darkened room alone with this masculine doctor she didn’t know at all. Perhaps it was because of the hypnosis or whatever this EMDR thing was they were about to do, she thought. The room dimmed, and she noticed for the first time muted track lighting along the silver-grey walls.

 

She chose not to sit at all but instead paced around the room while waiting for him to return to the seating area, inspecting his wall decor. Two long crossed objects in a glass case mounted on the opposite wall caught her eye. Not swords, she thought, but something similar? Next to that was some sort of primitive tribal mask, she guessed. She felt an instant aversion to it and moved away. It wasn’t the normal “shrink” decor she was used to seeing, and she assumed he must be some sort of collector.

 

The last object she saw on the wall perpendicular to it was a painting, an abstract that provided the only splash of color in the otherwise monochrome settings of the office. The track lighting cast a spotlight on the canvas which had a bright blood-red background with what seemed to be slightly darker vertical and horizontal smears of dark-red columns, or perhaps figures near the center clustered around two vertical columns of grey and black at the center.

 

“What do you see?” she heard his voice say in soft, silken tones. She hadn’t realized he had come up directly behind her. He was so close to her that she felt his breath ruffle her hair.

 

“I - I was never much for seeing things in paintings,” she muttered, trying not to appear discomfited. “What’s it supposed to be?” She took a step forward to distance herself a bit from him.

 

“It’s abstract art. I’m always interested in what reaction people have to it,” he responded casually. “You seem like an intelligent woman. Are you telling me you don't have any impressions at all?”

 

Again, it seemed to Rey there was a slight challenge to his tone, and it pushed her buttons. She wasn’t going to have him think her some uneducated simpleton. She squinted at it and examined it more closely. “Violence. Blood. Danger...Passion,” she replied.

 

She heard his sharp intake of breath behind her. “Interesting,” he murmured, finally stepping back and allowing her some personal space. He settled into his armchair, quietly waiting to see where she would choose to sit.

 

After a moment, Rey turned to contemplate her choices and then selected the seat on the sofa directly opposite him.

 

“Let’s begin,” he said, in a tone so low it was almost a whisper.

 

An electric current seemed to pass between them. Rey shivered.

 

“Don’t be afraid,” he said reassuringly. “I feel it, too.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! 
> 
> I haven't written a story in a year, but it's good to be back. I couldn't shake the idea for this reincarnation AU; it's been in my head for several months now. I hope you like it! 
> 
> Like every author on AO3, comments and kudos motivate me to keep going! I always love interacting with readers and hearing their thoughts on the chapter or subject matter. I'm on Tumblr [ @pandoraspocksao3 ](https://pandoraspocksao3.tumblr.com/) if you want to come say hi! I love to chat!
> 
> I'm also on Twitter at [ @Pandora_SpocksAO3 ](https://twitter.com/Pandoraspocksa1/).
> 
> [ The Hypnotist Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/user/catness1969/playlist/141YsStWY3Ue6AdGUWCxbQ?si=EFx2xBucQH6_i_Kae-ak0A) *In no particular order - this is just the well of songs I drew upon while writing this. 
> 
> *Editing to say I'm humbled and so appreciative of the people who have shown up and commented, whether you are a new reader or one of my buddies on AO3 who came by to show support. Thank you for lifting my spirits and helping me continue with this story!


	2. The Wand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben hypnotizes Rey for the first time.
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156517059@N08/40733724910/in/dateposted-public/)
> 
> ***

“Don’t be afraid,” he had said reassuringly. “I feel it, too.”

 

Rey shifted uneasily on the sofa. "You feel _what_ too? I don't understand." His dark brown eyes stared at her with an intensity that made her blush.

 

Dr. Solo leaned back in his chair and adopted a more casual manner. "The energy in the room. I could tell you felt it, too. It sounds mystical, but it really isn't. All human beings have a magnetic energy field around them. It's referred to as 'polarity.' Massage therapists study it and incorporate it into their practice to balance the negative and positive energy of the body." He studied her face, which was registering suspicion and disbelief, then looked at the end table by her sofa.

 

"Let me put it in simpler terms. Do you see that glass bowl with the wands in it?"

 

Rey followed his gaze to the table beside her and noticed several different colored hard plastic wands, about a foot in length, which were clear at the top and filled about three quarters of the way with a clear viscous fluid. At the bottom of each wand was a different bright hue of glitter and little gold shapes. A beam of track lighting refracted light through the crystal bowl, making the wands sparkle.

 

"Choose one. Pick one that appeals to you," he said encouragingly. "Go ahead and pick one up and look at it."

 

Rey studied the wands. They were different colors. Red, purple, white, gold, green and blue. Her eyes fell on the last one, and she selected the blue wand. She plucked it from the bowl and held it up before her eyes, turning it over and watching it as the blue glitter made a colorful descent toward the opposite end. She noticed little gold stars and crescent moons mixed in with the blue glitter. "Pretty," she commented.

 

"Yes, I think so too. You see how you can turn it and adjust it and the glitter will seek to balance itself? Polarity therapy is a bit like that. You can't see the energy field, although some people believe you can and refer to it as an aura; however, you can feel it if you are attuned to the energy."

 

Rey looked at him skeptically. "It sounds like hocus pocus to be honest," she replied, her eyes returning to the wand as she flipped it over again and watched the glitter move slowly to the other end.

 

"All very scientific, unlike the movies, I'm afraid. But I won't bore you with all that. How about a little demonstration? Let's start with some light hypnosis and have you recall a pleasant memory, perhaps something from your childhood. Is there something from when you were very young you enjoyed doing? A favorite toy or activity, perhaps? Choose something you know is a pleasant memory but something you can't recall clearly," he instructed, his voice silken and soothing.

 

Rey kept her eyes fixed on the falling glitter, continuing to flip the wand over when it reached the bottom. "I was in foster homes a lot when I was younger, so there weren't a lot of fun memories growing up. When I was about three or four years old, I stayed with a family who gave me ballet lessons for a couple of years, and I enjoyed that. I always wished I had been able to continue ballet. I loved how it felt."

 

Dr. Solo made a note on a pad of paper in front of him. "I think we can work with that. Is there a particular dance you did that you can recall?"

 

Rey kept her eyes on the wand, a wistful look on her face. "No, I was far too young to remember anything specific. I remember my ballet teacher's name was Miss Suzanne and there was an instrumental piece from an old Carpenters' record called "Heather" that I remember she played when she taught us. I begged my foster family to get me that CD because it reminded me of ballet. I remember the music, but there's no way I could recall dance exercises from that long ago."

 

"We'll see," said the hypnotherapist, his voice confident.

 

Rey raised inquisitive eyes to his bespectacled brown eyes, which were watching her carefully. She shrugged her shoulders. "I guess. How does it work?"

 

He held out his hand toward her with the palm turned up. "May I see the wand, please?"

 

Rey handed it to him, bemused. "I thought the wand was for traumatic memories? Is there anything dangerous about doing this?"

 

"The wand can also be used to induce hypnosis, which is a state of relaxation and heightened awareness where the subject relaxes so deeply that barriers to the unconscious mind fall away. As a result, we can access memories that otherwise would stay buried. It won't happen unless you let yourself go under. It requires trust, which is something we'll work on building in our sessions together," he said, maintaining eye contact with her, the intensity of his gaze holding her attention and reassuring her.

 

"You don't have to believe that any of this is possible; I just need you to trust me and let my voice guide you. It's like being in a lucid dream where you are aware you are dreaming, but you have trouble staying with the memory and not drifting off. My voice will anchor you and keep you focused on the memory. You won't do anything you don't want to do, and you'll be perfectly safe," Dr. Solo said, his soft voice relaxing her and lowering her guard without her even realizing it.

 

Rey watched the wand as he turned it upside down and the glitter began to fall again. She nodded her assent. "What do I do?"

 

"Just keep listening to the sound of my voice," he said soothingly. "Watch the blue glitter in the wand. Picture - picture an island. It's sunny and warm, and the sand is soft between your toes. With each step you take into the gentle waves, you feel your muscles loosen and all the tension leaving your body. As you go further out, you feel your body getting lighter as the warm waves wash over your feet, your legs, and your waist, lifting and supporting you."

 

Rey watched transfixed as the blue glitter shifted with each revolution of the wand. His voice was comforting and pleasantly soft. She felt herself lulled by the melodic sound of it and the imagery he presented.

 

"With each step, the water rises and covers your torso, your shoulders, and finally your head, although you have no trouble breathing underwater. Your body is sinking now into the vast ocean, deeper and deeper,  as you follow the sound of my voice. Your eyes are very heavy now. So heavy, you can't keep them open any longer."

 

Rey's eyes shut, and her breathing became deep and rhythmic.

 

"As you sink deeper into the ocean, you are going back to a time when you were a young girl who took ballet classes. Tell me when you see Miss Suzanne, Rey."

 

Rey pictured the dark current taking her under, the years falling away, and then suddenly she saw linoleum flooring and mirrored walls. A tall blond-haired woman in a leotard was speaking to their class. "I see her," she said, her voice slightly lisping as though she were very young. "I see Miss Suzanne."

 

"You're doing very well, Rey. Miss Suzanne is going to tell you how to dance now. Listen to her instructions. You may want to open your eyes. You'll find you can now. You will see the ballet studio though, not this room."

 

Rey opened her eyes as the familiar sound of "Heather" played from the sound system. She stood and assumed the First Position. In her mind, she heard her beloved teacher direct her to plie deeply, and she did. As she moved into Second Position, she felt a hand guide her to an open area where she was able to twirl and do arabesques as she moved across the room following the instructions of her teacher in time to the music.

 

The music came to an end. She heard Dr. Solo's voice as he informed her the ocean tide was bringing her back to the surface. In 3...2...1 - she was back in his office, standing tall, feet in First Position, her arms stretched over her head, fingers almost touching as she realized she was in a ballet position and had finished a recital piece she had learned as a child.

 

"Welcome back, Rey. How do you feel?" His brown eyes were warm and searching.

 

She blinked. Dr. Solo was standing a few feet away, apparently having watched to make sure she didn't brush against any furniture while she was moving about. Her face was wet. He handed her a tissue as she lowered her arms to take it and wipe her cheeks.

 

"Wow. That was amazing!" Rey smiled tremulously as emotion washed over her.

 

"Are you alright? You're crying," he said softly.

 

"They're happy tears. I saw it all so perfectly. It felt like I was dancing again!" Rey said in wonder.

 

"You were," he affirmed.

 

"I was? I didn't realize until I woke and saw I was standing up that I wasn't just dreaming that."

 

Dr. Solo gave her an approving smile. "You have a remarkable capacity for hypnosis, Rey. I think this bodes very well for getting to the bottom of those nightmares when you are ready. Not too scary, was it?"

 

Rey shook her head. "Not a bit. I feel great right now! Thank you for helping me recall such a happy time. Maybe we could just do that instead of working on recalling the unpleasant memories."

 

"We could, but I think the goal is to get you functioning better in your present so you can move on and make more happy memories. What do you think? Would you like to continue the sessions?"

 

"Definitely!" Rey beamed at him. He looked so protective of her as he stood there. His dark clothing reminded her of the garb of a priest, which made her more open to trusting him. He seemed well educated about hypnosis, and she was ebullient about remembering her ballet exercise so clearly. The ballet classes had been one of her happiest childhood memories. She couldn't believe she had been hesitant about doing the hypnosis.

 

"I'm glad you feel that way. I think you will be one of my best subjects in this trial. Do you mind if we do one last exercise to test how receptive you are to hypnosis? I want to make sure you can achieve this deep a level next time."

 

"Sure," Rey said enthusiastically. She was feeling so refreshed. There was nothing scary about this at all.

 

"A few minutes ago, while you were under, I gave you a posthypnotic suggestion. If you trust me, this will go very smoothly. If not, we'll continue to work on building a rapport." He stepped closer to her until he was about a foot from her and suddenly brought up his arm, cupping his hand and lightly touching the side of her head above her ear.

 

Rey felt as if someone had turned the lights off and that her body was slipping away into the tide again. The waves buoyed her up and carried her on her back as she drifted. The ocean had a strong heartbeat, she thought, letting her body go limp. Then she heard a snapping sound and her eyes flew open to find herself reclining on the sofa. She stared at Dr. Solo, who was sitting back in his chair.

 

"How did I get here? Did I faint?" she asked nervously.

 

"Not at all. I gave you a posthypnotic suggestion that you would relax and go limp when I placed my hand by your forehead. I wasn't expecting you would go under so deeply, but you have exceptional ability, as I suspected you might. I'm pleased you are so receptive to suggestion. It will make our work in our sessions much easier. I hope this will prove to you I will catch you if you start to fall, both literally and figuratively," Dr. Solo said earnestly.

 

Rey was taken aback that he had apparently _carried_ her to the reclining sofa in the office after she passed out, for all intents and purposes, but she also felt a little giddy realizing he had taken her in his arms and placed her on the sofa. It felt romantic, like something in an old movie. A blush spread across her cheeks. _I'm being silly_ , she thought. _It's not like he was trying to sweep me off my feet; he was just proving a point about hypnotism._

 

Clearing her throat, Rey swung her legs to the side of the couch and pulled herself to a seated position. She wasn't sure how much time had passed. She hadn't worn a watch, and there didn't seem to be any clocks in the room. "Um, sorry, but what time is it?" she asked self-consciously. It felt she had been there for hours.

 

"We still have some time," he answered, without bothering to look at a watch or any clock she could see. "Do you have someplace you need to be after this?"

 

"I'm meeting my boyfriend out at the racetrack after this," she said, blushing again. _Why do I keep blushing around this man?_

 

"I see," he said with a slight frown.

 

"Is there - is there a problem?" Rey asked hesitantly.

 

Dr. Solo's countenance straightened back into a bland expression. "Not at all. I should explain that our sessions won't be like the 50-minute therapy hour you are used to. With hypnosis and EMDR, it's too unpredictable as to what may come up, so I usually allow at least a couple of hours per session in case the subject needs some recovery time or to go a little longer. It would be helpful if you could clear your schedule for our sessions if that's not too much trouble."

_  
_

_Well, that's considerate of him,_ thought Rey. "Sure, no problem. I could text Poe and let him know I may run late. I don't even know that he'll miss me much. He's training a new colt for the races. I was just going to watch."

 

"I see," Dr. Solo responded neutrally.

 

Suddenly, Rey felt nervous, and when she was nervous, she talked too much. "He's not really my _boyfriend_. We've been dating for about a month," she said hurriedly. "Maz thinks I rush into things sometimes. I should probably take it slower with him. Not that we've moved that fast. Um, I mean, we-we haven't, - I haven't with anyone, um..." Rey wished the ground would swallow her up.

 

"Rey, you can discuss anything in here you wish. Conversely, you don't have to share anything you don't want to share. I'm not here to judge you; I'm just here to help you get to the bottom of these nightmares and see if I can help you with them. Anything you say in here is confidential, okay?"

 

"Thanks," she said, her cheeks still burning. She was grateful Dr.Solo had saved her from any more awkward disclosures. At the same time, she felt a strange kinship to him growing that she hadn't felt even with Maz. Maybe it was the dark clothing that reminded her of her priestly confessors at Church, or maybe it was the compassion she thought she saw in his large brown eyes that seemed to invite her confidences. Rey always felt so alone. What a relief it would be to unburden herself to someone, to share all her innermost thoughts and fears. There was something about this doctor that reminded her of herself in that way, oddly. _I'm projecting,_ she thought. _He's not lonely. He probably has women throwing themselves at him all the time._

 

Dr. Solo stood up, a signal that their time was at an end. "We should wrap up for today. I don't want you to miss the horsey stuff," he grinned.

 

Rey got to her feet, grateful to him for putting her at ease. "Thanks. I won't make any commitments after our next session. When is it, by the way? My schedule is pretty open. I could come in the morning if that works better."

 

"No, actually this time works best if you don't mind running late sometimes and keeping your evening free on those nights. How about twice a week so we can get to the bottom of those nightmares and get you some relief?"

 

"I'd like that," Rey said sincerely. She reached out her hand, and he clasped it in a handshake again. She felt as if an electric current ran between them when they touched. _What is wrong with me?_ Then: _Does he feel it too? Is that what he actually meant before?_

 

"I'll see you next week on Tuesday and Thursday at this time - sound okay?" he asked.

 

"Yeah, thanks so much, Dr. Solo, " she answered formally.

 

"My pleasure, Ms. Lumen," he replied, mimicking her formality.

 

Rey grabbed her bag and hurried out of the office before she blurted out anything else out of a personal nature. Such as, _Damn, you're hot!_ Rey thought she might get a bottle of wine and go home instead of going to see Poe. Somehow, she didn't feel it would be fair to him when she knew she was going to ruminate about her handsome hypnotherapist.

 

* * *

 

 

Ben Solo closed the door behind her as she left the office. He pondered everything that had transpired during their session. Rey was indeed a remarkably susceptible subject for hypnosis. He picked up the blue wand and replaced it in the cut glass crystal bowl and withdrew a red one which he held before him for a minute, watching the red color swirl with the stars and moons. The phone on his desk rang, shaking him out of his reverie. He crossed to the desk still holding the red wand. He took a deep breath and took the receiver off the hook.

 

"Solo," he answered, listening to the voice on the other end. "Yes, she is the one. I've confirmed it." He listened to the voice on the other end and replied impatiently. "You know this can't be rushed. Too much is at stake, for you as well as me, and you'd get in the way if you came down here now. For now, you can make yourself useful by getting someone at the local racetrack to get some burrs under the saddle the next time Poe Dameron races his stupid horse. I don't know - Millennial Falcon, I think... Yes, I know... Perhaps, but I'm in no mood for irony." He listened to the voice on the other end, then answered,

 

"No, the mission parameters haven't changed. No mercy, no quarter given."

 

He paused.

 

"I'm going to destroy her."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few notes about the content. EMDR pioneered in the psych profession in 1989. I was in the mental health field in the early '90s and knew therapists who did it. You don't have to use the kind of wand I have pictured at the top, but I did see those wands in group therapy and they could easily be used as a tool for hypnosis. Mostly I'd see therapists using them with adolescents to get them to stop fidgeting, relax, and focus.
> 
> I'm not going to pretend I'm an expert on hypnosis, but I've done meditation exercises and I have been hypnotized. The ballet story Rey recalls is actually mine, and under hypnosis I was able to do that. Pretty neat! 
> 
> From here on out, I'm going to take some liberties with hypnosis that are up for debate, such as the power of post hypnotic suggestion and someone not being able to recall that such a suggestion has been given. I can't say with any degree of certainty that this is possible, although people have reported it is. I do not believe a person could be hypnotized against their will; you would have to be open to it and a willing participant. 
> 
> Other subjects that come up I'll tackle as we go, and you can always PM me on Tumblr at [ @pandoraspocksao3 ](https://pandoraspocksao3.tumblr.com/) .   
> I'm also on Twitter at [ @Pandora_SpocksAO3 ](https://twitter.com/Pandoraspocksa1/). I love to chat!
> 
> Also, if you've read my other two fics, this one will not be as heavy as [ Dark Angel ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10222538/chapters/22683272) and it won't be slapstick like my [Fluka Highknockers](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10986822/chapters/24468276) short story! 
> 
> If you're a playlist person, here are some of the songs I am listening to while writing. [ The Hypnotist Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/user/catness1969/playlist/141YsStWY3Ue6AdGUWCxbQ?si=EFx2xBucQH6_i_Kae-ak0A) *In no particular order. 
> 
> Thanks so much for giving my fic your time! I appreciate all comments and kudos!


	3. Somewhere Between a Dream and a Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and her roommate go on a double-date with Finn and Poe...with unexpected results.
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156517059@N08/42542321461/in/dateposted-public/)

* * *

 

 

Rey kicked off her shoes back at the small house she shared with a female roommate she'd found on Craigslist when she was looking for a place to live. She'd gotten lucky right off the bat. Her roommate was a nurse and worked odd hours. She didn't mind that Rey couldn't pay much for her room as long as Rey was fine with doing the upkeep of the lawn and pool in the backyard and any fix-it jobs in the house. Rey had always had an aptitude for fixing things, so she was happy with her end of the bargain as well.

 

Rey's room was the smallest, but she loved it because it had French doors that opened onto the pool in the backyard. A huge privacy fence surrounded it, and Rey's favorite thing to do was swim. When she was straining all her muscles doing laps, and the water blocked out all sound, she felt at peace. She could think of nothing and empty her mind.

 

This evening her roommate had announced she was working the 11 PM to 7 AM shift at the hospital, so Rey had the house to herself. It was dark outside, but there was a crescent moon, and the stars shone brightly in the clear sky. She wandered out to the pool and dipped her feet in the water. It was the perfect temperature.

 

Not feeling like bothering with a swimsuit, she stripped off her clothes and got into the water. A plaintive "meow" made her turn her head, and she saw her cat, BeeBee, watching her from the side. The orange and white feline eyed his owner for a few minutes, then spotted a moth and gave chase.

 

Rey dove underwater and began doing laps. The silence from being underwater enveloped her like a cocoon, but instead of letting her mind empty as it normally did, she found it wandering back to Dr. Solo. She had dated a lot of attractive men since college, but she always ended the relationship before sex became an issue. She hadn't wanted to share her body casually. It wasn't a religious reason as much as her own beliefs. She didn't believe in sex without love, even though most of her friends slept around quite a bit. It didn't faze her if her dates got angry when she refused to go further than a kiss. Most men moved on, but Poe Dameron was a patient man and swore he would not pressure her. He had been a gentleman and a considerate and fun date, but she had experienced none of the fireworks that had gone off when she looked into Dr. Solo - Ben's - eyes.

 

Rey thought about Ben. At first, he had made her a bit nervous at the beginning of the session, but she had gradually relaxed her guard with him and was even reluctant for the session to end. The butterflies in her stomach had made it difficult to think. When she had locked eyes with him, she had the strangest feeling of déjà vu - as though she had seen him before. She thought of his silken voice lulling her into a trance and how soft his full lips looked. She could very clearly imagine herself kissing him. It was as if that was a memory as well, but of course, it couldn't be since she'd only met Ben that day. _You can't remember things that never happened,_ she reasoned with herself.

 

Finally, Rey noticed the sky was starting to lighten. It was already the predawn hours, and she had spent the night fantasizing in the pool about her new hypnotherapist!  Now her sleep schedule would be off. She got out of the pool and grabbed a beach towel they kept nearby on the pool furniture and wrapped herself up in it. BeeBee followed her inside, and Rey gave him some cat food and then went to her room and collapsed in her bed, not even bothering to put on a nightgown as she covered up with her quilts and quickly fell asleep.

 

Almost immediately, the dream began. She was looking up at Ben's handsome face above her. Then he walked away. She was in an enclosed space with him, pleading with him about something. Then...red. Everywhere, red. Something sinister before her. Floating, floating higher with no control of her body, then excruciating pain, so painful she screamed.

 

 ** _"Rey!"_** a female voice said. Hands were gently shaking Rey awake. She blinked and looked fearfully around her, the sense of danger still making her heart thud wildly in her chest. The cool seafoam walls of her room reassured her she was back in her room. She was drenched in perspiration, though.

 

"What were you dreaming about?" her roommate asked with concern. "I could hear your screams from the front door."

 

"I'm sorry," Rey said contritely. "What time is it?"

 

"It's a little after nine," her roommate replied. "I just got home from work and heard you as I was opening the front door. You sounded like you were being attacked. I was ready to get my gun!"

 

Rey gave a shaky laugh. "Thanks, it was the same dream that's been bothering me for weeks. I can't remember much...my head hurts. Maybe that's why it felt like I was being tortured in my dream!"

 

"Torture? Ugh, that's horrible. Tortured by whom?" her roommate inquired solicitously.

 

Rey couldn't remember the last time her roommate had shown this much interest in her. Usually, their schedules were so opposite that they communicated through notes on a whiteboard on the fridge. They were civil, but they weren't friends. Her roommate had been standoffish since Rey had moved in. Rey assumed she had her own friends or that the hospital just took all her energy. It was touching that she was showing concern for her now, Rey thought.

 

"Um, I really don't remember. That's the thing: most everything in the dream fades by the time I'm fully awake. It's frustrating. It's not like it's anything real. It's like a monster, images and colors, but then nothing."

 

"Well, I'm glad you're awake now. I'm going to go to my room to crash, but I'll be nearby if you have another nightmare." Her roommate stifled a yawn and ran her fingers through her short, blonde locks.

 

"Thanks for checking on me, Gwen," Rey said with gratitude. "I think I'll stay up and try to get some things done instead of going back to bed so that you can get your rest. Hey, would you want to go out with Poe and me tonight? I bailed on him last night, and I was thinking...that last guy I dated, Finn, is really nice. We didn't have a spark, but maybe you two might. Want to join us for dinner?"

 

Her roommate shrugged her shoulders and drew herself up to her full height, which dwarfed most men. She was a stunning woman with ice-blue eyes and platinum blond hair, but men were usually intimidated by her height or her authoritative manner.

 

"I have to work again tonight, but I have time for dinner, I suppose. Sure, why not. Can I pick where? There's a new restaurant I've been wanting to try if that's cool with you guys." She yawned in earnest this time, waved a sleepy goodnight to Rey and retired to her room.

 

Rey smiled to herself. She'd been feeling guilty that things hadn't worked out between herself and Finn, but this little fix-up might be the key to a fun and casual evening between the four of them and loosen things up between herself and her roommate. Finn was great at getting people to laugh. In fact, Finn and Gwen Phasma would probably be a perfect match. She grinned smugly. 

 

* * *

 

 

The evening wasn't exactly off to an auspicious start. Poe was still acting perturbed at her for not going to watch him practice the other night at the racetrack. She'd introduced Finn to Gwen, but instead of hitting it off, Finn's charm seemed only to irritate the tall blonde, and Finn's wit turned acerbic as her roommate seemed to go out of her way to patronize and demean her friend. Finn was polite up to a point, but by the time the appetizer was over, they were debating everything from politics to hair product. By the time the main course was over, it had deteriorated into sarcastic bickering. Poe, far from being helpful and jumping in to save the conversation, was watching the TV over her shoulder at the bar. Rey picked at her food, which was unusual for her, and started ordering shots of Tequila Rose to drown out the arguing between Gwen and Finn.

 

"I refuse to take this crap from a _janitor_."

 

"Blondie, I told you I'm a radio DJ. My family _owns_ a sanitation service, which is a little different. I don't even have to work; I DJ on the radio because I like it."

 

"Maybe it's the cologne you're wearing that smells like garbage that made me think that."

 

"Maybe what you're smelling is your over-processed hair helmet."

 

"I can't believe my roommate set me up with you."

 

"Likewise."

 

"Hey, maybe you two should dance? The music's good," Rey said, desperately trying to save what was left of the disastrous date. The band was playing an eclectic bunch of covers from the 80s to present. "Come on guys...great song!" She tugged at Poe as the band did a pretty good rendition of Shakira's "Empire."

 

"I'm not interested in dancing. I have to be at work in a few hours," Gwen sniffed, throwing down money for her dinner before Finn could even offer.

 

"I'll drive you," Finn offered gamely, but Gwen's frosty stare froze him in place.

 

"Thanks, but I arranged for an Uber before we got here. I'll see you later...Rey." She smoothed her blonde hair and nodded at the others as she pushed back her chair and left.

 

Finn put down money for his dinner. "I think I'm going to go watch a bit of the game at the bar and then call it a night as well. Thanks for trying to set us up, Peanut. Sometimes these things aren't meant to be. And frankly, if Blondie was _that_ bossy at dinner, I bet she would be absolutely _terrifying_ in the bedroom."

 

"Finn," protested Rey, laughing. "Go on, then. Poe, can we dance now, please?" She waved Finn off as he got to his feet and left.

 

Her handsome date reluctantly tore himself away from the program he was watching and offered her his arm, leading her to the dance floor. He had barely spoken all evening.

 

"Talk to me, Babe," Rey coaxed, desperate for the evening not to be a total loss. "Why are you so quiet?"

 

Her date's rugged good looks were attracting the attention of many girls on the dance floor. He was oblivious of all of them but Rey, but his eyebrows knit together and his pouty lips curved in a frown.

 

"I don't know, Rey, maybe it's the fact that you didn't show up when you said you would last night? You know the upcoming race is important to me."

 

"Of course I do, but I missed a _practice_ session, not the actual race, and I texted you I wasn't able to make it," she argued, not sure why he was so touchy.

 

"You didn't even have a decent reason. What was so important that you had to cancel?"

 

Rey stuttered, taken off guard. "I told you - I was tired."

 

"Yeah? From doing what exactly? You weren't working," he said suspiciously.

 

"Really, Poe, can't I just have been tired?" Rey said with a hint of exasperation. She felt he was being ridiculous.

 

"Yeah, well maybe _I'm_ tired tonight," Poe said with a glare, stomping off the dance floor without her in the middle of the song and heading toward the bar.

 

Rey stood in the middle of the dance floor alone, blinking back tears. She looked around self-consciously, feeling like everyone was looking at her, the girl abandoned by her date. Swallowing, she tried to hold her head up and follow him. She felt a tap on her shoulder from behind her.

 

"Excuse me, Miss, shall we dance?"

 

 _That voice._ She turned around slowly, unbelievingly. _Him._

 

Ben Solo was extending his hand to her. He looked different without his glasses and with his hair flowing free. He was casually dressed in a dark shirt, blazer, and jeans.

 

"Rey? You wouldn't leave me out here all by myself on this dance floor, would you?" he smiled, bringing the heat to her cheeks as she realized he had seen what had transpired between Poe and her and had come to her rescue. The tequila shots were making it difficult for her to think.

 

Somehow, she had taken his hand and he was leading her to the opposite side of the dance floor, away from Poe. The song had ended and a new one had started, sensual and slow. She felt his hand settle firmly on the small of her back and she placed one hand on his shoulder and the other in his outstretched palm. She felt dizzy, whether it was from the shots she had been doing or from the nearness of him. He smelled heavenly, of some sort of clean soap or light cologne. Without realizing it, she snuggled nearer to his chest and inhaled his scent, resting her head there. He hesitated, then held her closer.

 

A little sigh escaped from Rey as they danced, barely moving, her slightly spinning head feeling safe against his broad chest. She didn't know why the evening had gone awry, nor how Ben Solo had shown up to rescue her from embarrassment; all she knew was that she wanted to stay like this in his arms forever. It felt like she was reuniting with a long-lost love, although that wasn't possible. This _connection_ between them was inexplicable. Not a dream, not a memory, but somewhere in between. Rey felt their swaying stop as the song came to an end.

 

"Rey," she heard Ben say hoarsely, as she peered up at him into his big brown eyes that were fixed on hers. Without thinking, Rey stood on tiptoe and placed her hand on his cheek to bring his lips down to hers.

 

"What the _fuck_ do you think you're doing?" Poe's angry voice shouted, and she felt herself yanked back from Ben's arms. "That's my date you're dancing with, pal."

 

"You didn't seem to be treating your _date_ very well _pal_ ," Ben retorted. "Or haven't you heard it's rude to leave a lady on the dance floor by herself?"

 

"That's none of your business," Poe said, anger reddening his swarthy features, as he got in Ben's face. Well, as much as he could given the height discrepancy. "Come on, Rey. Let's get out of here." He tugged at her arm and started to pull her from the dance floor.

 

Rey felt Poe's grip on her arm break as Ben stepped between them, pushing her protectively behind him.

 

"I think Rey should decide if she wants to leave with you first. If that's what she wants, fine, but if you're going to act like a caveman, hotshot, I don't think this lady appreciates being dragged by her hair," Ben said calmly.

 

"Oh, have _you_ picked the wrong guy to fuck with," Poe said, bowing up to Ben and aiming a punch at his stomach.

 

Ben deflected it easily, catching Poe's arm at the wrist, then spinning him around and holding his arm behind his back in a painful grip so that he couldn't move.

 

"Ben!" Rey shouted, concerned that Poe would be hurt by the larger man.

 

But Ben merely shrugged and held him as a crowd gathered around. "Rey, do you want him to take you home? If he treats you like this in public, I worry about letting him escort you home."

 

Rey's head was spinning. Poe hadn't been very nice that evening, but he wasn't violent, either. Still, she didn't like being grabbed.

 

"You can let him go. I'll get an Uber and see myself home. You're right; I don't want him to take me home."

 

Poe twisted to look at her with disbelief. "You are kidding me. Who the hell is this guy, Rey? Why were you dancing with him and how do you know him? Is this why you didn't show up at the track the other night?"

 

Rey felt a pang as yet another relationship seemed to be crumbling before it had time to mature into anything. "Poe, please listen, this is Ben, but I didn't know he'd be here, and he - he, well, he's my..." her voice trailed off, not knowing how to explain her therapy and hypnotherapy sessions to Poe.

 

"She doesn't owe you any explanation, but I have met Rey exactly once. She has been kind enough to participate in a research study of mine. She's not cheating on you with me, and it's a hell of an insult to her that you're implying," Ben said, a hint of a threat in his voice now. "You don't deserve her."

 

"Ben, please," Rey said, tears falling down her face. "Poe, I - he's telling the truth."

 

Poe struggled in Ben's grip, but Ben held him fast. "Let me go, you asshole! That is my girlfriend. She came here with me."

 

"Well, I don't think she'll be leaving with you, but it's up to her," Ben said calmly, releasing Poe and giving him a bit of a shove, keeping Rey separated from Poe with his body.

 

Poe glared at Ben, and then at Rey. "Are you coming with me or not?" he snarled.

 

That did it. Even in her inebriated state, Rey wasn't putting up with that.

 

"Definitely _not_ ," she retorted. "I'll get a taxi or Uber or something."

 

Ben turned to her gently. "It's not necessary. I can see you home."

 

Poe sneered, "Oh, I just _bet_ you will, buddy. Very smooth. Hitting on a woman when she's drunk..."

 

Rey interrupted, "I am not drunk, Poe. Well, maybe a _little_ , but I still know what's going on. You, however, have been a jerk all night. Of course I'm not going to let you take me home, and Ben is only offering because he's a gentleman. Something you could learn a thing or two about."

 

"Whatever," Poe muttered. Looking at Ben, he said in a low voice, "If I find out you took advantage of her, I'll kill you."

 

Ben merely raised an eyebrow. Two bouncers had shown up and were looking from one to the other.

 

"Gentleman, can you remove this man from the premises, please?"

 

"Certainly, Dr. Solo," one of them answered. "Come on, you." They gripped Poe under his arms despite his protests and led him out the front door.

 

Rey looked dejectedly at the floor, thinking about her ruined evening and probably the dissolution of another relationship.

 

"Rey," Ben said gently. "What can I do?"

 

She lifted her wet eyes to his, seeing the compassion in his gaze.

 

"You can buy me a drink if you like. I'm going to do more Tequila Rose shots. I want to forget this night ever happened."

 

He cocked his head at her. "Not all of it, I hope."

 

She reddened, thinking of their dance, and took his proffered arm as he led her to the bar. She ordered more Tequila Rose shots, while he stood by solicitously and asked the bartender for water.

 

"Don't you drink?" she asked him shyly. He must think her an alcoholic.

 

"Not when I'm driving a beautiful woman home," he replied nonchalantly.

 

Rey downed her fifth shot. Or maybe her sixth. She'd lost count. Did he say what she thought he had?

 

"Maybe you should take it easy on the tequila shots?" he suggested.

 

Rey shook her head. "Not after the night I've had. I don't usually drink, but this night calls for it. And you don't have to take me home; don't worry. I am quite capable of calling a taxi or an Uber and getting there myself. I'm not so blotto I can't do _that._ "

 

Ben took a seat beside her. "Of course not. But the offer stands, just in case. How about another dance after you down that one? It's a shame to waste such a beautiful setting and great music."

 

Rey squinted at him, her vision starting to blur. "Isn't there a rule about dancing with your patients?" she asked suspiciously.

 

Ben laughed. "My research subjects? To be honest, it's never come up before. I'm not your therapist; you're a volunteer in my EMDR study, which is a lot different. But don't feel you have to dance. I'm just offering since your date wasn't so keen on it. Was that the jockey you told me about?"

 

Rey nodded. "I guess that's one more relationship down the drain."

 

"Well, if it's any consolation, I don't think it's that great a loss if that's how he treats you."

 

Rey felt defensive. "He's not a bad guy at all, and he's not usually like that. He's been very patient."

 

Ben raised his eyebrow again. "Patient? With what? Not pushing you for something you aren't ready for? If that's the bar you've set for yourself, that's pretty low."

 

Rey tossed back another drink. "I don't want to talk anymore," she slurred. "Let's dance."

 

Ben stood up and offered her his arm, and when she took it, he put his other arm low on her back to guide her.

 

Siouxsie and the Banshees was playing now, an older song called "Face to Face." Rey felt her body moving in time to the music. Ben held her close, staring into her eyes as the music played.

 

 

 

> _Another life_  
>  _Another time_  
>  _We're Siamese twins writhing intertwined_  
>  _Face to face_  
>  _No telling lies_  
>  _The masks they slide to reveal a new disguise_

 

Rey felt the alcohol warming her, making her bold. She reached up to hook a hand behind his neck, playing with his hair. With her other hand, she traced his lips. His breathing quickened, but he didn't try to touch her or kiss her. With a sigh, she placed her head on his chest and settled for him holding her close.

 

Sometime later, the music stopped and the lights came on. It was late. Rey hadn't even been aware of the passage of time. Ben was guiding her out the door and she was clinging to him, feeling the effects of the alcohol. She stumbled a bit in her heels. Without a word from him, she felt herself being scooped up in his arms.

 

"Hey!" she yelled, before relaxing and going with it. "I think you did this before, Doc."

 

Ben merely smiled. "I'd put you down, but you'd likely break an ankle in those shoes as...well, as toasted as you are, Miss Lumen!"

 

"Ben!" she giggled. "I'm not. I'm perfectly fine," she slurred.

 

"Uh-huh," he replied. "I like that you're finally calling me Ben." He clicked his car fob and opened the door of his black McLaren 720S. The doors opened by raising up like wings. Rey's eyebrows shot up.

 

"You drive a batmobile? I knew I knew you from somewhere before...mystery solved, Batman!" she joked.

 

Ben rolled his eyes and deposited her in the seat, taking care to belt her in securely. He got in the driver's seat and closed the doors. The sleek auto shifted into gear and purred as it hit the road, easily maneuvering around slower vehicles. "Where to, Rey?" he asked. "Where do you live?" he repeated when she didn't reply. He realized she had passed out. " **Rey** , wake up!"

 

Rey was totally plastered. Dimly hearing his voice, she mumbled, "Big brown building with a plant in front. I think there's an 8 in the address. Lots of stairs." She drifted off to sleep. Later, she was vaguely aware of being scooped up again and carried into the apartment. Gwen would be pissed, she thought. She was so tired she didn't really care. She felt herself being tucked into a bed with soft sheets and a puffy duvet goosedown comforter being pulled over her clothed body after her shoes were removed. She drifted off to sleep and was soon in deep slumber.

 

* * *

 

 

The sunlight streaming through the windows woke her up. Rey groaned as her head throbbed. She squinted at the bright light and rolled over. She was surprised to see a glass of water and some aspirin on her end table. Wait. Not _her_ end table. It was considerably neater and less cluttered than her own. She sat up in a panic, observing her surroundings. The bed linens and covering were black. The room was sparsely but tastefully decorated. A desk was in the corner with a laptop and what appeared to be an old-fashioned calligraphy pen set. There was a bookshelf in the other corner with some heavy tomes sitting on it. Suncatcher prisms hung from the window and a couple of golden cubes linked together by a chain. A closet was on her right. At the foot of the bed was an armchair with a man slouched over it in apparent slumber. Ben.

 

Rey stifled a gasp. He must have taken her back to his apartment. She looked under the covers and was relieved to see she was still fully clothed. If she could locate her shoes and purse, she might be able to tiptoe out of the apartment without having to face him. She cautiously sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. She froze as the bedsprings squeaked.

 

She heard him stirring in the armchair and winced as he awoke, running a hand through his luscious black locks, still perfect after last night. She raised a hand self-consciously to her own hair and realized it was a tangled mess, not neatly bound in its usual bun at the base of her neck. _Wonderful._ She debated trying to get back under the covers and pretend she was sleeping, but that would just prolong the inevitable.

 

"Good morning," he said.

 

"I - good morning," Rey replied, flushing to the roots of her messy hairline. She kept her head down and peered up at him under her lashes. Her heart was thudding so loudly in her chest that she was sure he could hear it.

 

"Uh, where are we?" she asked timidly.

 

Ben smiled at her, stifling a yawn. "We're in my home. You couldn't give me your address last night, so I had no choice but to bring you here. How's your head? You had a lot of tequila last night. Drink the water and take the aspirin I put on the table for you," he directed.

 

Rey did as she was told hastily, gulping down the water and pills. Biting her lip, she tried to think of a graceful way to exit. There wasn't one.

 

Ben rose and crossed over to the bed. "Would you like to shower? I've got a t-shirt and some shorts you can borrow if you'd prefer to get out of your clothes from last night. I'll make coffee."

 

Rey shook her head. "Thanks for letting me crash here, but since I only have my heels, I think I should probably get home and just clean up there." She groaned, remembering last night. "And I think I have some apologies to make to my friends."

 

Ben cocked his head to one side. "Oh?" he asked mildly.

 

Rey scooted away an inch. He was sitting beside her on the bed, and it felt too intimate by far.

 

"Yeah, it's coming back to me. I must have been awful to Poe. He just left. And Gwen and Finn did _not_ hit it off, and I was the one who fixed them up."

 

Ben laughed softly. "Rey, you aren't responsible for whether your friends hit it off or not. You played matchmaker, but they knew going into it there was a chance they might not get along. You can't be responsible for everything." His big brown eyes seemed to darken as he spoke again. "Your boyfriend, or your date - whatever he is to you - was an absolute prat last night. You don't abandon a woman on the dance floor or at a restaurant by herself. Would you have abandoned someone like that?" he questioned.

 

Rey thought about it and shook her head. "No, I guess not. It felt pretty awful when he left me standing there by myself."

 

"Abandonment usually does feel pretty awful," Ben replied softly. "Are you angry at him for that? Most people would be."

 

"I - I don't know what I feel right now," she said awkwardly. "Thank you for saving me from further embarrassment last night though and dancing with me. I didn't even know you were there. And those bouncers called you Dr. Solo? How did they know you?"

 

Ben shrugged. "I go there a lot and sit at the bar. I usually bring a book. It gets too quiet here sometimes. I like to have a little noise around me, and people-watching is endlessly fascinating, too. Most of the staff knows me. I happened to be watching the dancing and saw you and your date just before you started fighting."

 

"Oh," Rey said, not sure what to say next. She felt acutely embarrassed he'd had to babysit her all night.

 

"I'm - I'm sorry you got dragged into my mess. I'm sorry I ruined your night out," she said, turning her reddening face away from him as she remembered how close she was dancing with him and flirting.

 

"Rey - look at me," he commanded.

 

She shook her head, staring at the wall. "I can't," she whispered.

 

She jumped a bit when she felt his fingers under her chin, gently turning her head to face him.

 

"You didn't ruin my evening. Quite the opposite," he smiled.

 

Rey felt a little lightheaded again at his touch. She couldn't shake the feeling that she knew him from before their hypnosis session. She swallowed hard.

 

"Ben...I wanted to ask you something. Have we met before? I keep thinking I remember you from somewhere, but I can't think of where."

 

Ben's smile disappeared, and he withdrew his hand from her chin. He searched her eyes for something he did not find. "I'm sure I would have remembered you had we met," he said softly. "You're not a forgettable person."

 

Rey blushed. Was he flirting with her? She couldn't tell.

 

Ben cleared his throat. "I think I'll start that coffee now. I can call you an Uber if you like - if you think you can remember your address now."

 

Rey rolled her eyes and gave it to him. "Sorry again for being so out of it. I'm not sure how many Tequila Rose shots I did, but I guess they caught up with me! Mind if I freshen up while you're doing that?"

 

"Not at all," he answered.

 

Rey got up and went down the hall and found a pristine bathroom, done in black and white marble with black towels. She splashed water on her face and borrowed his hairbrush to see what could be done with her bird's nest of hair. As she exited the bathroom, she heard his voice, apparently on the phone.

 

" - not necessary anymore. Again, don't do anything regarding the horse...No, you cannot come by! I told you I would let you know when the time is right..."

 

He broke off when he saw her. "I'll call you back," he said into the phone and ended the call.

 

Rey hesitated in the living room. She wanted to stay and talk to him, but she thought she had probably interrupted his day enough.

 

"Thanks for everything, Ben. I - I guess I should get going. My ride is probably waiting."

 

He approached her held out his hand, shaking hers formally. "I guess it's probably best. I'll see you next week for more hypnosis if you're still up for it."

 

She smiled at him. "I just realized I didn't have the dream last night. At least I don't remember it."

 

"I kept watch over you last night in case you did. Maybe you felt safe here. Whatever is going on, though, we'll get to the bottom of it."

 

Rey's face lit up at the thought of seeing him again soon. She thanked him again, giving him a shy smile, and let him get the front door for her, seeing her Uber ride on the street.

 

* * *

 

 

Ben closed the door and leaned his back against it, breathing deeply. It _was_ her, and it _wasn't_. And what was the matter with _him?_ Bringing her here, watching her as she slept, searching for a girl who might not even exist within her. He frowned. He _had_ to be right about this. He had to be sure. And this time, he would not let _compassion_ stand in his way.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're still reading or new to this fic, thank you so much for reading! 
> 
> [ The Hypnotist Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/user/catness1969/playlist/141YsStWY3Ue6AdGUWCxbQ?si=EFx2xBucQH6_i_Kae-ak0A) *In no particular order - this is just the well of songs I drew upon while writing this. The ones mentioned in this chapter are Shakira's [ "Empire" ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QapfTGTXbxc), Siouxsie and Banshee's [ "Face To Face" ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8ETieNnWp8) and a song that I think was playing that was not mentioned because it would have been overkill is the Sting version of [ "How Can I Remember"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSpElV2yLQ8) from the movie Sabrina. It's a particularly beautiful song and was part of the inspiration for this fic. 
> 
> Credit: *Lyrics in the middle of the chapter are from Siouxsie and the Banshee's "Face To Face," if it's not obvious in the paragraph.
> 
> Plot: Are you thoroughly confused about Ben, his motives, and what he's up to? Good! Things will unfold and I promise you will have answers, but I like letting the suspense build a bit. 
> 
> *Your comments are blowing me away! Some of you are a little TOO SMART at catching these clues! I love the different things you are picking up on, and I'm so humbled people are taking the time to leave me feedback. It really motivates me to write, so all of you commenting below - thank you for recharging my batteries, so to speak, and for letting me know you like the fic and/or where you have questions so I can gauge how I'm doing or where I need to clear things up a bit. It's so helpful to me!
> 
> I hope you'll subscribe if you like the story! Come say hi if you're on tumblr. I'm [ @pandoraspocksao3 ](https://pandoraspocksao3.tumblr.com/)
> 
> I'm also on Twitter at [ @Pandora_SpocksAO3 ](https://twitter.com/Pandoraspocksa1/). I always love to chat!


	4. The Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey attempts a home makeover with mixed results. Poe pays an unexpected visit. Finn has a new love interest. Rey and Dr. Ben Solo meet for a hypnosis session.
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/162600702@N02/42795978582/in/dateposted-public/)  
>    
>  .  
> 

Rey started getting ready for her afternoon session with Dr. Solo about four hours early. It had been two long days since she'd seen him Saturday night, and the first thing she'd done after she'd gone home and cleaned up on Sunday was to visit the local drugstore and stock up on makeup. Normally she only wore a light dusting of face powder to keep her nose from being shiny, but after watching Gwen's elaborate beauty rituals and reading the latest issue of _Glamour_ , she realized just how woefully inadequate her makeup arsenal was.

 

She had _freckles_. Finn had told her they were "cute" but she didn't want to be "cute." Ben was probably eight or nine years older than her and therefore probably appreciated a more sophisticated look, so she bought an $8 hair color kit and dyed her hair from its usual honey blonde to a rich chestnut brown. She had felt a nagging sense that her hair color wasn't right after her first hypnosis session with Ben, and she decided to dye it the dark brown shade.

 

She also bought foundation, concealer, eyeliner, mascara, lipstick (three shades), eyeshadow, and the final tool that she knew would complete the look, false eyelashes. She had noticed with envy how full and thick the lashes of the models and actresses on TV were and had commented to Gwen she wished she could get that look with mascara. Her roommate had informed her they were false eyelashes.

 

_This was a game changer._

 

She carefully applied glue to the first eyelash and then lined it up with her lashline. Or, at least she attempted to. The lash stuck to her finger, and by the time she had wrestled it off and tamped it down on her eyelid it was uneven and partially peeling away at one end. Rey threw it in the trash and moved to the second set of lashes. She was triumphantly finishing her second eyelid when she heard a loud knocking at the front door.

 

_Shit, that's going to wake Gwen._

 

Rey hurried to the door in her tattered robe with a finger holding her last eyelash in place and carefully opened the door. Finn was on the doorstep, a grin on his face.

 

"Hey, Peanut! Got time for lunch? I've got the most amazing story to tell you," he said, brushing past her and plopping on their sofa.

 

"Finn, shhhhh! Keep your voice down, Gwen is asleep. She works nights, remember?"

 

"Oh yeah, sorry," Finn said, not sounding sorry. "What's wrong with your eye? You look like you've got something hanging off it."

 

"Dammit, Finn, that's _your_ fault!" Rey swore loudly, losing her temper and forgetting what she had just told him about keeping his voice down. She ripped off the eyelash and decided to reattach it after he left.

 

"Ouch," he said, as Rey tore the strip from her eye. "Anyway, let me tell you my story! I met the most _amazing_ girl! She's so cute and smart and fantastic! She's just awesome!" Finn bubbled over with exuberance.

 

Rey tried to keep from rolling her eyes. "Okay, I'll bite. Who is she and how did you meet her?"

 

"Her name is Rose, and we met in traffic."

 

"Pardon?"

 

"We met in traffic! Well, a traffic accident, actually."

 

"Finn!" Rey exclaimed with concern.

 

"Relax, I'm okay and she's okay. My car's totaled, but I'm pretty sure my insurance is good for it."

 

"You hit her?"

 

"No, Peanut, she sideswiped me and knocked me off the road."

 

"Uh, Finn, shouldn't you be thinking of suing this girl instead of fantasizing about her?" Rey didn't bother suppressing her eyeroll this time.

 

"You don't see the big picture, Rey! She _saved my life!_ I was crossing the intersection and this car pulled out in front of me and would have hit me except Rose drove her car into mine and knocked me out of the way," he said happily.

 

Rey scratched her head, forgetting she was wearing her new Press-On nails she had also bought at the drugstore. A second later the nail that had been on her index finger was flying through the air and landing on the tile kitchen floor with the tiniest of clicks, but that was enough to gain BeeBee's interest. The cat pounced on it in delight and batted it around the floor.

 

Rey sighed as she regarded her botched manicure. She'd have to remember to recover the fingernail or take off the others. Beauty apparently required living in a plastic bubble. The magazine hadn't mentioned that.

 

"Hold on. She saved your life by plowing into your car in traffic?" she asked.

 

"Yeah!" Finn replied happily. "If it weren't for her, this other car would have definitely killed me. She pulled around it and knocked my car into a ditch!"

 

"How lucky for you," Rey said drily. "Finn, what the fuck. She ran you off the road? She totaled your car? You think she did it to _save_ you?"

 

She was interrupted by a grinning Finn holding up his phone. It was a selfie of him and a gorgeous girl who appeared to be of Vietnamese descent. She was tiny with an infectious grin and apple cheeks, and somehow pulled off "cute" and "sexy" at the same time. Rey had a feeling _her_ nails didn't pop off and end up as cat toys.

 

"Does she have insurance?" Rey asked, already knowing the answer.

 

"Well, no, but I'm pretty sure mine covers it, and she did risk her life to save me! I couldn't possibly press charges after that," Finn protested. "Besides, isn't she _cute?_ "

 

"Finn, sometimes you can be - wait, you say "cute" like that's an attractive thing. Do you mean "cute" like BeeBee is cute, or "cute" like beautiful-cute?" Rey asked, hoping he could provide some much-needed male perspective.

 

"Beautiful-cute," Finn said decisively. "I mean - _look_ at her!" He shoved the phone into her hand, causing another one of her nails to pop off.

 

"She _is_ cute, Finn," Rey relented, happy to see her friend so excited, particularly after his bad date with Gwen. "When are you going out with her?"

 

"This Friday," Finn said happily. "We're going to that new jazz club on Sheridan. Mina Violet is headlining."

 

" ** _Mina Violet!_** Can you even afford tickets to see her? Are you paying for Rose, too?"

 

"Of course I can," Finn said, sounding offended. "Besides, I sort of won them off a radio show," he said guiltily.

 

Rey crossed her arms, losing yet another nail. "Which radio show?"

 

"Um, mine. I had Poe call in and sort of set it up so he'd win them. Technically, they're his tickets, but he's giving them to me because his race is the next morning. Oh, sorry, guess that's a sore spot for you."

 

Rey felt a momentary pang. She knew how much Poe had wanted her to come. She hadn't spoken to him since that Saturday night. She felt guilty, realizing she hadn't thought about him much at all since spending the rest of that evening with Ben.

 

The doorbell jarred her from her thoughts. Following shortly was the sound of a door slamming from further down the hallway.

 

"Oh, fuckity-fuck," groaned Rey.

 

A minute later, Gwen stormed down the hallway in her silver-grey kimono, her metallic silver sleep mask pushed back over her blonde tousled hair.

 

"Please," she said, glaring at Finn and Rey, "Allow me to get the door since you two aren't going to shut up anytime soon."

 

She opened the door and Rey saw over Gwen's shoulder an enormous bunch of flowers. She couldn't see who was holding them because of Gwen's height.

 

"Hello, Gorgeous," said an admiring male voice.

 

Rey exchanged a look with Finn as Poe Dameron entered the room.

 

"I take it those aren't for me," her roommate said, eyeing the flowers.

 

"Well, the flowers are for Rey, but the compliment was actually for you, Phaz. Lookin' hot, Blondie," Poe said with a wink in her direction. Gwen looked slightly mollified and actually smiled at him. She even took the flowers and went to put them in water. Poe's charm knew no bounds, mused Rey.

 

"Hi," Rey said uncomfortably, gesturing for him to sit down while wondering how she was going to clear this room so she could continue trying on outfits for her afternoon appointment with Dr. Solo. It was already 1:30 PM.

 

"Hi, cutie," Poe said, bending forward and giving her a quick kiss on the lips, ending up getting her cheek as Rey rapidly turned her head. He pulled back and looked at her with a puzzled expression. "Um, I don't know how to say this, but why do you only have eyelashes on one side of your face? Is this a new fad?"

 

Rey held up her middle finger at him and flicked a Press-On nail in his face. "If I wasn't getting interrupted so much, I wouldn't look like this," Rey grumbled.

 

"Rude," Finn said, shaking his head. Poe grinned.

 

Gwen returned from the kitchen and joined them, leaning against Poe's side of the sofa. "Isn't your race this weekend, Poe?" she asked, almost sweetly.

 

Rey winced, knowing what was coming.

 

"Yeah, Phaz, are you and Rey coming to support me?"

 

"I'm sure we'd be delighted," Gwen cooed.

 

Rey fumed silently. "Um, yeah, of course we will," she said, not knowing what to say. She didn't really want to go to the race as his date after the botched evening last Saturday. She was hoping just to avoid contact with him for a while.

 

Poe stood up, smiling broadly. "I'm glad both my girls will be there to see the Millennial Falcon cross the finish line first. I can't lose with that kind of luck! Two blondes- wait, Rey, what the heck did you do to your hair? It was so pretty before. I mean, not that this color isn't, but- I mean, I was just used to you the other way," Poe finished awkwardly.

 

"Yeah, thanks," Rey said, annoyed now. "Why don't you entertain these boys since you're up, 'Phaz.' I need to get ready for my appointment."

 

"What appointment?" Poe asked, suddenly suspicious.

 

"Rey, why are there fingernails all over the carpet?" Gwen asked, frowning.

 

"They're not fingernails. They're cat toys for BeeBee," Rey tossed over her shoulder, ignoring Poe's question and retreating to the bathroom to scrub her face. She hoped Ben liked "cute" as much as Finn seemed to, because she was getting rid of all the artificial gunk and just being herself, freckles and all. She hoped Ben would like her new hair color better than Poe did.

 

* * *

 

Rey had to hurry to be on time for her appointment with Dr. Solo. She had to knock on the glass pane to get his receptionist's attention, as Connix was busily absorbed in her cell phone texting. She looked up at Rey and frowned. Rey wondered if the girl was this impolite to all his research subjects or just to her.

 

"He'll be out in a minute," she said, eyeing Rey's new look and raising her eyebrows. Rey wondered for a moment if it had turned green or if the dye was coating her neck. "Here, can you fill out the top part of this? You apparently did leave a blank for your emergency contact. Have to have someone on file in case you croak," she said in a bored voice.

 

Rey took the form and thought about it. She had no family and really no close friends. Who should she put? Probably Gwen. She scribbled her name down, hoping there wasn't a high mortality rate in EMDR therapy. She had barely sat down to wait when the door opened and Dr. Solo opened the door to admit her.

 

"Rey. Come on back," he smiled pleasantly.

 

She got up and brushed past him nervously as he held the door for her and indicated she should precede him to his office. She went down the short hallway and through his open door, standing in front of the red painting again as she waited on him. Self-consciously, she smoothed her hair. She had styled it differently in addition to dying it. Instead of just putting it in a ponytail and then coiling it into a bun at the nape of her neck to keep her appearance neat and her hair out of the way as was her usual style, she had chosen to pin the top part up in a barrette and let the rest cascade down to her mid-back. She felt his gaze and wished she'd been able to figure out the false eyelashes. At least her green top flattered her hazel eyes.

 

"You changed your hair," he commented, walking into the room.

 

"I probably shouldn't have. P- I mean, some people didn't like it."

 

His eyes darkened and he moved closer to her. Rey stood very still as he walked behind her, inspecting her. Her breath hitched as she felt his warm hand brush her shoulder as he lifted a long curl, playing with it and wrapping it around his finger before releasing it.

 

"Beautiful," he murmured close to her ear.

 

Rey trembled at the intoxicating nearness of him, not certain of what he would do next. Would he take her in his arms? Would he kiss her? If he did, would she let him? Her thoughts ran wild and her heartbeat quickened. She could feel her pulse in her throat.

 

Instead, he walked back to his chair and casually gestured for her to be seated, waiting until she had sat down before he did.

 

"I like your hair that way," he said quietly, startling her nevertheless in the stillness of the room. "Did your roommate or someone say they didn't?" he asked casually.

 

"My roommate was fine with it, but...well, Poe came by earlier today and made a comment about how he liked it better when it was blonder," she said, looking at the ground and trying to keep her voice from shaking. For some reason she felt guilty confessing that Poe had come by. She felt, stealing a look at Ben in his all-black attire, that she should have opened with "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."

 

Ben's face didn't betray any reaction. "The pil- the jockey you were with on Saturday came by to see you today?" he said in a conversational tone.

 

"Um, yes," Rey stammered. She wasn't sure why he was having this effect on her, but she felt even more guilty. "I didn't invite him over. He just showed up. He brought flowers," she finished lamely.

 

"I see," he said noncommittally. "I thought you didn't like how he left you on the dance floor by yourself. You were quite upset by him this weekend," he stated flatly.

 

Rey was unsure how to read him, but she felt defensive. "I was. I am. He just showed up while I was getting ready for this appointment and Finn had stopped by and Gwen, my roommate, was awake and I couldn't tell him off in front of them, so I just accepted the flowers and told him I had to leave."

 

"And how did he take that?" he asked, still in a casual tone.

 

"He- well, he wanted to know where I was going. And he asked Gwen and I if we would be at the race this weekend," she said weakly.

 

"I see. And what did you say?"

 

"I was in a hurry and I wasn't prepared to see him, so I didn't know what to say. Gwen took the flowers and put them in water. I don't really remember what I said to him," she replied, averting her eyes.

 

"You couldn't think of what to tell him when he asked you if you were going to the race?" Ben asked with a little bit of impatience in his tone.

 

"It happened so fast; there wasn't time to think of an answer," she protested.

 

"Not even 'no'?" he said quietly.

 

Rey wasn't sure why they were on this topic. Was Ben jealous? Did his dancing at the restaurant with her mean something to him like it did to her, or had he just been comforting a jilted woman that night? If she was imagining that, she would make a fool of herself by asking him.

 

"Gwen accepted for the both of us. It's just one race. I'm not going as his girlfriend," she said, a little defiantly.

 

"You seem uncomfortable talking about this," he said, his eyes never leaving her face, never revealing his thoughts.

 

Rey flushed. "Yeah, maybe I am," she admitted. "Can we get to the EMDR session? I don't want to take up all of your time talking about my personal life."

 

"I hadn't realized Dameron was part of your personal life anymore," Ben said cooly, a bit of an edge to his voice. "But no matter. Let's begin the session." He stood and picked up a remote and proceeded to shut the curtains, dimming the room. He struck a match and lit a candle in the center of the table between them.

 

"No," said Rey, feeling everything was mixed up.

 

"No, you don't want to do the EMDR?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

 

"No, he's not part of my personal life," Rey said emphatically, meeting his gaze. Whether she was right or wrong about Ben feeling something for her, she wanted him to know she wasn't attached.

 

Ben frowned a bit, seeming to be lost in thought. "So timid," he finally spoke. "Not like I imagined you to be at all," he said.

 

Rey felt she was being judged and found lacking. "What do you mean?" she questioned. "I said I'd tell him after the race."

 

"Will you, now..." Ben said, his head cocked to the side, staring at her as if assessing her.

 

Frustrated and impatient, Rey let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "Ben. I don't know what you're implying with Poe. I'm not with him anymore. I've just been dating him for the past month; it wasn't serious. And you...you and I..." Words failed her as they trailed off and she stared miserably at the candle, unable to confront him with her questions.

 

"Are you always this...indecisive?"

 

Rey's head snapped up. "I _said_ I'd tell him after the race!" she said with no hesitancy in her voice. "I'd hardly call that indecisive."

 

"And yet you couldn't tell him to get lost when he showed up on your doorstep today, even though he disrespected you in front of a roomful of people and created a scene at the restaurant last weekend."

 

"Are you angry with me?" Rey asked, feeling confused.

 

Ben leaned back in his chair, appearing detached once again. "Not at all. Just trying to help you process the situation. But it's irrelevant right now. I think it's about time we get started on the EMDR therapy. Do you feel ready?"

 

Rey was relieved not to have to talk any more about Poe. "Yes, I'm ready. What do I do?"

 

Ben struck a match and lit the candle on the coffee table between them. "We'll do another hypnosis exercise to relax you and you'll follow my instructions the same way you did last time, listening to my voice," he said, the soothing quality of his soft voice already starting to relax her. "I want you to look at the flame of the candle while I guide you through the meditation."

 

Rey nodded.

 

"Picture yourself at the top of a staircase. There is something calling to you at the bottom, and you descend slowly down the stairs one at a time, with each step going into a deeper state of hypnosis. Your eyes will get heavier and heavier until you can't keep them open any longer."

 

Rey tried to picture the images, but as she went down the dark staircase toward the bottom that was _calling_ to her, she felt a wave of panic wash over her, and she opened her eyes.

 

"Everything okay?" he asked with concern.

 

"Um, I think it's that I don't like stairs. Claustrophobia, maybe. It just felt strange. Like it reminded me of something that made me panic. I'm sorry."

 

"Don't be sorry. I can choose a different image. In fact," he said, standing up and walking slowly around the table to sit in a chair adjacent to her, "let's do this. Stretch out your hand."

 

Rey complied, keeping her palm side down.

 

"Very good. Keep watching the flame and listening to the sound of my voice."

 

Rey felt his warm hand brush the top of her hand as he began to lightly stroke it.

 

"You're safe. Listen to the sound of my voice and know you are in a safe space. With each stroke of my hand, you are feeling more and more relaxed, and your hand is feeling lighter and lighter. In fact...if I took my hand off the top of yours, it would be so light, it would simply float up."

 

With this, he removed his hand, and Rey felt her hand rising upward as if there was no gravity. She felt him gently take it in his own and settle it back on her knee, keeping his hand reassuringly on top of it. Her eyes closed.

 

"There is a door before you, Rey. When I tell you, the door will open and you will find yourself in an empty movie theater with a big screen in front of you. You will see the scenes from your nightmare play out, but they won't scare you, because you are just watching a movie. I want you to tell me what you see, and remember - distance yourself and watch it as if this is all happening to someone else."

 

"The door has opened."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm anxious to hear what you think - about the comings and goings at Rey's apartment, Rey and Ben, and anything you're curious about! I'm so grateful you are giving my story your time! 
> 
> If you're a playlist person, here are some of the songs I am listening to while writing. [ The Hypnotist Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/user/catness1969/playlist/141YsStWY3Ue6AdGUWCxbQ?si=EFx2xBucQH6_i_Kae-ak0A) *In no particular order. 
> 
> As always, I value your comments and feedback! Come say hi on Tumblr if you like! I'm [ @pandoraspocksao3 ](https://pandoraspocksao3.tumblr.com/) over there.
> 
> I'm also on Twitter at [ @Pandora_SpocksAO3 ](https://twitter.com/Pandoraspocksa1/).


	5. Through The Looking Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Under hypnosis, Rey is able to recall her nightmare.
> 
> [ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156517059@N08/27997475017/in/dateposted-public/)

Ben watched Rey's eyes twitching from behind her closed eyelids. She definitely was seeing something. He picked up the plastic wand with the blue glitter in it she favored in his right hand and continued to keep a reassuring hand on top of hers. He could feel her pulse rate increase beneath his fingers.

 

He repeated, "The door has opened, Rey. The movie screen is before you. You have a comfortable seat, and your dream has started. You are only watching the movie; you are not a participant. You're safe. The movie has begun. Tell me what you see," he said in a calm voice.

 

"Fire. I see sparks of fire showering down around me," she whispered, her voice strained.

 

Ben felt a surge of excitement but kept his voice calm and controlled. "Remember, you are watching the movie. You are not _in_ the movie. Tell me what you see on the screen," he coaxed.

 

He heard her whimper, and sweat appeared on her brow. Her panic was building. He frowned. Was this whole exercise going to be over before she could verbalize what she saw? He had to do something to get her to distance herself. An idea came to him.

 

"Rey. There's a big, gallon-sized bucket of popcorn on your left. Would you like some?"

 

She nodded and turned her head slightly to the left, reaching out with her left hand and taking an invisible handful of popcorn and opening her mouth and nibbling at it. He noticed her shoulders relax a bit.

 

"Good, Rey. You're doing good. Now, return your eyes to the screen. You can open them if you want. You'll still see the movie screen and be able to tell me what you see. You are deeply under hypnosis and can only hear the sound of my voice and the sounds from the movie. What do you see?"

 

Rey's eyes opened, unfocused, looking past him at the wall. For a moment, her eyes seemed to settle on the red canvas painting that hung across from her. She took a deep, shuddering breath and then leaned back against the sofa cushions as he stroked her hand, soothing her.

 

"Rey, let's rewind the movie. Let's go back about ten minutes before the fire. What's happening now?"

 

Rey frowned slightly for a moment. "It's hazy...there's a woman. She looks like me a bit. She's in a coffin. No, not a coffin. It's transparent, but she's lying down."

 

"That's good, Rey. Fast forward. What's happening now?"

 

Rey squinted. "It's still a little blurry, like there's fog or steam. There's a man's face on the screen. He's looking down. He's looking down at her."

 

"Keep going..."

 

"Her eyes are open now. She looks happy to see him. He doesn't have much expression looking down at her. He's walking away from her. Now there is a guard of some kind with what look like handcuffs. The woman is being handcuffed."

 

"Fast forward a bit, Rey..."

 

"She's in an elevator. She's looking at the man. He's tall. She has to look up at him to see his face. She's still wearing the handcuffs. She's walking toward him. She looks confident. She's talking to him. She's telling him she'll help him. She's telling him she knows he'll be the one to turn."

 

"What happens next?"

 

"He's...he's telling her she will stand with him. He told her he saw her future..."

 

"Very good, Rey. And then?"

 

"They are walking out of the elevator. The room is bright red. It's so red. There are...there are people in costume? All in red, but without eyes on their masks. Like...like human-sized chess pieces with no faces and spears. They almost blend in with the red background. The man is guiding her forward. He's stopped, but she is still walking forward. There's...there's this horrible-looking creature on a chair in a golden robe. He's pulling her forward...with his mind? She's very brave. He's taunting her. She's in the air...she's...AUGHHHH!"

 

Rey's head went down, and she grasped it with both hands, yanking her hand from his as she put her hands to her temples in apparent pain.

 

"Rey. **_Rey_**. Listen to me," Ben said urgently. "This is a _movie_. I need you to remember that. There is no pain," he said soothingly. "You are watching a movie. Raise your eyes and watch the screen. Trust me, Rey. Trust me."

 

Rey lifted her unfocused eyes to the wall, a look of horror on her face. Ben lifted the blue wand and held it in front of her eyes, letting the glitter start to shift and then moving it from right to left in front of her eyes.

 

"You can see the wand in front of the movie screen, Rey. Watch the wand as the scene unfolds. See the glitter...it's only a movie, Rey, only a movie. With each pass of the wand, you are less afraid of what you see."

 

Rey's tensed shoulders began to relax as her eyes followed the wand. She swallowed and continued to watch the wall as he waved the wand in a lateralizing motion.

 

"Rey, I want you to take another scoop of popcorn for me while you watch."

 

She obeyed, scooping another imaginary bite into her mouth.

 

"What's on the screen now, Rey?" he asked, urging her forward.

 

"The man and the woman...they've killed the creature," she said with a sense of wonder. "They aren't friends, but they are standing back-to-back, fighting. The woman's hand is high on his thigh while she kicks away one of the red guards."

 

"Freeze on that frame for a moment, Rey," Ben said. "What do you think of this part of the movie?"

 

"I think this movie must be rated R," she replied.

 

Ben allowed himself a smile, then shifted a bit as he found himself enjoying the mental image a little too much.

 

"Okay, Rey, fast forward. The fight is over. What do you see now?"

 

"Fire. The room is on fire. The red guards are dead. The man is walking toward the woman with an intense expression on his face. He's telling her that her parents are dead. That they threw her away as a child. He...he wants her to join him. He wants her to rule with him so they can...bring order. The woman is pleading with him. Now...he's angry. He says she's _holding on._ He says...he's telling her what happened to her parents." Her voice faltered. "He- he says they threw her away. That they're dead. That she comes from nothing and is nobody...but not to him. He's asking her to join him again. He's holding out his hand. There's a look in his eyes, just this raw, unguarded need for her to say yes."

 

"And?" Ben prompted.

 

"She can't join him," Rey said, tears falling from her eyes.

 

"Does this part of the movie make you sad?" he asked, watching her carefully.

 

"Very much," she whispered. "She wants to follow him, but she can't because she doesn't believe in what he wants to do. I don't really understand what they are arguing about, but I can feel the emotion. The fire...sparks are falling all around them now, almost like snow...like tears."

 

Ben took a deep breath. Her face was white and blotchy with crying. He waved the wand in front of her face, but she was continuing to cry silently. Her pulse was elevated again. He couldn't risk letting her go on.

 

"Rey, listen to me. The projector screen has gone dark. The movie has gone to intermission for now. I want you to take a deep breath for me and relax. In a few minutes, the house lights are going to go up slowly, and I will count backward from 10. When I get to 1, you will be wide awake, refreshed, and you will remember the dream but you won't be upset by it. You won't have any more nightmares, but you will continue to want to come to these sessions. Do you understand?"

 

"Yes," Rey said, nodding her head as she spoke.

 

"Good. You've done very well. Now the house lights are starting to come up..." Ben finished the ritual of slowly waking her up. "...and 3....2....1. Wide awake." He snapped his fingers.

 

Rey blinked.

 

Ben handed her a tissue to wipe her tears. She took it, seeming surprised to find her face wet. Now was the test. He took a deep breath and tilted his head to one side, assessing her reaction. Her face seemed blank, staring without focus at the red painting on the wall behind him.

 

"Rey, how do you feel?" he asked carefully.

 

She frowned. "Empty," she responded slowly. "And confused...sad...jealous."

 

He sat back and tried to keep his expression neutral. That was unexpected. "Jealous of what?"

 

She shook her head in confusion as if she couldn't process it all. "I guess...the woman and the man in the dream - they seemed so attracted to each other, like they completed each other. They both seemed to want the other so badly, even though it looked like they weren't going to be together. I've never known a feeling like that - like it would rip me apart not to be with someone. Maybe like a fairytale with an unhappy ending."

 

Ben stared at her in amazement. "It reminded you of a fairytale?"

 

"Isn't true love a fairytale? That's how they seemed to feel, even if they had to part. But how would I know?" she whispered, blowing her nose.

 

Ben was perplexed. Of all the responses she might give, he had not anticipated this one. Nor had he expected to feel such... _empathy._

 

"How would you know...what?" he asked again, trying to draw her out to explain her feelings better.

 

"I mean, how would I know what a fairytale is? I've never lived one. I've never felt that way. I'm too damaged. I couldn't. I couldn't be like her," she said regretfully.

 

 _Damaged?_ Well, she was in therapy, but that was for anxiety about the dream. He wished Maz had left better notes about their sessions, but aside from her basic history and how she was responding to meds, Maz was actually frustratingly vague in her chart notes. But the other part of the sentence caught his attention.

 

"Do you feel you were the woman in the dream?" he asked carefully.

 

"What? No, I just said I could never be," Rey said, shaking her head. "She was this kickass fighter. I've never been in a fight. I don't even own a gun. I wouldn't know what to do if someone attacked me. Pepper spray, of course, but aside from that, it's not like I could sword fight like she was doing." She paused. "It's so weird how vivid it is. I can recall all of it now."

 

Ben nodded, anxious to get back to his questions. "That's what hypnosis does. Now we have to interpret why you had this dream. Unless you think it was a memory of some kind."

 

Rey laughed. "I think I would remember if I was in a swordfight!"

 

Ben searched her face carefully for any signs of dissembling, but she was telling the truth. She believed it was all a dream. But the memory was embedded, all the same. It would come back to her eventually. It _had_ to.

 

"You said you were damaged and you could never be like her. What did you think she was like?" _And how do you think you are damaged?_ he wondered to himself. It was too soon for that question.

 

Rey's face fell once again. She squinted a bit at the abstract canvas on the wall and seemed to be recalling something.

 

"It wasn't just that she was such a strong physical fighter. She had this...confidence, I guess you'd call it. She just walked right up to him after going into enemy territory and she wasn't afraid. She wasn't afraid to let her feelings show. She let him know she'd help him. She was looking directly at him and there was this _connection_ between them, this well of feeling. She wasn't afraid of wearing her heart on her sleeve. She cared about him, and she wasn't afraid to let him see that."

 

"And you don't feel like you are capable of doing any of those things?" Ben asked carefully.

 

Rey ducked her head, avoiding his eyes. "I'm nothing like that," she said dejectedly.

 

Ben was caught off guard by the girl before him. _No, you certainly aren't,_ he agreed silently. This day was supposed to have gone very differently. She was supposed to snap back to her old self once he'd helped her recover her lost memories and then - _then_ he could finally have his vengeance on the woman who had skewered his heart more completely than he had literally done to his own father's.

 

Everything she was describing about the memory was embarrassingly accurate. He wondered if it would have come back to her had he let her continue with her betrayal and the fight over the lightsaber that had knocked him unconscious when it split. Although, even as an outsider seeing a man offering a woman the galaxy, how did she think that man felt after he had bared _his_ heart to someone for the first time and been summarily rejected?

 

But for now, there was the quietly crying girl in front of him who looked like Rey and sometimes talked like Rey but _wasn't_ Rey in front of him. _She_ hadn't wounded him. And she was hurting, although he wasn't sure why. Now, instead of having the confrontation he'd envisioned this afternoon, he was awkwardly fighting back the urge to put his arms around this timid girl who seemed more likely to run from danger than toward it.

 

_She did run from you once, though..._

 

Rey sniffed and stood up suddenly. "I should go; I've taken up enough of your time," she said, sounding drained.

 

Ben stood up with her, feeling a tug at his heart at how vulnerable she looked.

 

"Rey, I'm sorry. You caught me a little off guard there with the dream and your reaction to it. We can keep processing it. It might help," he said, struggling with the urge to take her into his arms.

 

"I- I'm sorry," she said quietly.

 

"For what?" he said, puzzled.

 

"I think...I think you wish I _were_ like the girl in my dream. I thought actually you would know a lot more about me since you talked to Maz and had my chart, but it's obvious you don't."

 

"Rey, I'm a hypnotherapist, not your psychologist. I knew you were having anxiety problems and had a recurring nightmare. Maz kept whatever else you talked about private. I knew the basics about your living situation and social history and the problem you needed my help with, no more. You were and are a good research subject for EMDR therapy. Next week, we'll see how it's working, and you might even remember more of the dream-"

 

-"No. I don't think I could come back and do this again. I appreciate you helping me remember the dream, but I don't think it helped me feel better. If anything, I feel inadequate. I just want to go home now," she said, shuffling her feet and looking at the door.

 

"Rey, please stay and talk this out with me. I hate seeing you so upset. And for what it's worth, I think you are selling yourself short. It takes a brave person to go into therapy and face their inner demons and try something new and strange-sounding like EMDR. I think you have more of that girl in you than you think," he said, half kindly and half hopefully.

 

Rey looked at him dully.

 

"Ben. You almost lit up when you said that. Trust me when I tell you I'm not that girl."

 

 _Be glad you are not,_ he thought to himself. _You have no idea what I had planned for that girl._

"Rey. You're making an awful lot of assumptions right now. I won't stop you if you don't want to stay and talk through this, but I'll leave your appointment time open for next week if you want to come back and discuss it or try the EMDR again. I'd like to at least follow up with you and make sure you're okay."

 

"I'll think about it," she mumbled, appearing anxious to leave.

 

Not wishing to appear he was blocking her path, he walked her to the door and opened it for her, letting her pass before him.

 

"The pond is very peaceful in the evenings if you want some time to yourself," he suggested. "I really hope to hear from you next week," he said, trying not to sound too desperate to see her. "Take care of yourself, Rey," he said to her rapidly retreating back as she rushed past him.

 

 _Well, you screwed that one up,_ he told himself. He went back inside to get ready to go home. His cell phone rang as he was straightening his desk.

 

"Solo," he barked, having no patience for the person on the other end of the call. He listened for a moment.

 

"No, _absolutely_ not, as I keep repeating. She had a dream but no memories. It's possible she never will, so that makes it a moot point for you as well. _Yes_ , it does! Hands off; I'm warning you!"

 

He wished one could achieve the same satisfaction ending a cell phone call as slamming down a receiver. Or slashing apart a console panel with a lightsaber.

 

* * *

 

 

Rey didn't want to go home straight away, so she decided to take Ben's advice and go down to the pond on the grounds. There was a nice little bench underneath a shady tree that looked comfortable, and she could watch the sunset and let the ripples of the pond soothe her frayed nerve endings.

 

She was so absorbed by the events of the day that she didn't see the figure lurking in the shadows of the building as she left the clinic and didn't notice she was being followed.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Humble thanks to everyone who is reading and leaving comments! So many interesting theories and guesses! I love reading them all!
> 
> A few things to clear up:  
> 1\. For the purposes of this story, the Star Wars movies don't exist in this AU. All sci-fi buffs are Trekkies instead. 
> 
> 2\. Even though Rey is a "research subject" and not a psychotherapy patient of Ben's, in real life it would not be ethically permissible to socially interact with a patient, same as a therapist. Not that this would stop Ben anyway, but for those wondering if you can date your hypnotherapist, no, you can't. 
> 
> 3\. I've read up on EMDR and I've seen it done a long time ago, but I'm sort of winging it here! Basically though, you have a person recall a traumatic memory, with or without the aid of hypnosis, and you wave an object in a lateral (side-to-side) motion to desensitize them to the memory. 
> 
> Any other questions like the above, just ask! And feel free to PM me on Tumblr with questions. I'll answer what I can. Looking ahead, we have a horse race coming up where pretty much the whole gang is going to show up, so I can't wait to write that one!
> 
> If you're a playlist person, here are some of the songs I am listening to while writing. [ The Hypnotist Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/user/catness1969/playlist/141YsStWY3Ue6AdGUWCxbQ?si=EFx2xBucQH6_i_Kae-ak0A) *In no particular order. 
> 
> If you feel like it, come say hi on Tumblr! I'm [ @pandoraspocksao3 ](https://pandoraspocksao3.tumblr.com/) over there. My email is pandora_spocks@yahoo.com.
> 
> I'm also on Twitter at [ @Pandora_SpocksAO3 ](https://twitter.com/Pandoraspocksa1/).


	6. Beneath the Surface

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156517059@N08/29074666828/in/dateposted-public/)

Rey sat on the bench underneath the tree by the pond. There was a fountain in the middle of it, and ducks swam by with their ducklings trailing in their wake. The setting sun bounced off the ripples of the pond in fiery splendor. _Fire._ Rey remembered her dream again. This time, she could clearly see the man and woman facing each other, his expression so heartbreakingly pleading as he edged closer to her, trying not to be aggressive, perhaps, extending his gloved hand toward the woman, who was shedding copious tears and staring back at him. "Don't go this way," she whispered, her recall of the dream becoming sharper.

 

She felt something wet on her hand and realized she was crying. She reached for her purse, rummaging with frustration through its cavernous hollows and innumerable pockets trying to locate her tissues and her sunglasses. Damn, had she left them in Dr. Solo's office? Should she return? No, she was too embarrassed after the way she had left. Didn't she have a spare? They had to be in there somewhere-

 

"Good evening, lass. I hate to interrupt, but you're missing a fine sunset."

 

Startled, Rey dropped her purse and turned around to see a tall, pale man standing behind her. He looked about the same age as Dr. Solo. The sunlight caught the copper tones of his hair, making it look like a feathery halo around his head. He wore it long, almost like Ben's, she thought. She noted his casual slacks, dark jacket and skinny black tie worn with a white shirt. He didn't look threatening, but she hastened to reach for her purse handles so she could make her way back to the parking lot. She was in no mood for conversation.

 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt a private moment. How rude of me. You look upset. Please, take this." His extended hand held out something white and almost delicate looking.

 

"Is that a handkerchief?" Rey asked, surprised.

 

"Aye. Always keep one on hand around here in case I come across a beautiful woman crying," he said, a hint of Irish brogue coloring his speech.

 

"I- I couldn't possibly,"Rey stuttered, but the man closed the distance between them and pressed it into her hand.

 

"It's the least I could do for disturbing you in a private moment. Those head-shrinking buggers are supposed to make you happy, not sad, you know," he said with a smile.

 

"Are you- are you a patient too?" Rey couldn't help asking.

 

"I'm not, but I'm not a shrink, either. Aldous Huxley at your service, Miss." He held out his hand.

 

Rey stepped back nervously. "That's a fake name. I read Brave New World in high school. I know who Aldous Huxley is," she retorted, wishing she kept her damn purse sorted so she could reach her pepper spray in case she needed it.

 

"Smart _and_ beautiful," he smiled at her, retracting his hand nonchalantly. "But if I were going to use an alias, I'd have picked a better one. My father went to Oxford University, same as him, and having the last name Huxley - well, I suppose it was inevitable I'd get named that. Aldous Armitage Huxley, if you want the whole embarrassing truth. I work here."

 

Rey snorted, the absurdity of the name finally breaking through her reserve at meeting a stranger. She felt a little silly at her suspicions.

 

"I'm sorry for being prickly and for being such a mess," she said, taking the handkerchief and wiping her eyes and nose. "And it _is_ a pretty sunset. Thank you for the handkerchief. What do you do here? You said you weren't a 'shrink,' didn't you?"

 

"I did indeed. I'm a researcher. I have to complete a research study to prove my hypothesis, but it's so hard coming up with the right test subjects. In fact," he hesitated, looking down at the ground and appearing to redden a bit, "I have to confess something to you. I followed you down here because I saw you come out of Dr. Solo's office."

 

 _"You what?"_ Rey hissed.

 

"You've every right to be pissed, but I hope you won't be," he said earnestly. "You see, I know Ren does _his_ research study on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so I was hoping to catch whoever had an appointment with him and speak with them. I know I'm a bold article to be asking you this - sorry, I'll try to speak more _American_. I know I shouldn't have followed you, but the thing is, people who are more susceptible to hypnosis are the subjects most likely to have a favorable response to my study as well. That's one of the correlations I want to prove," he said eagerly.

 

Rey looked at him skeptically. She was still angry he had followed her, but he had at least distracted her from her current mood, and he apparently knew Ben. _Wait, he had called him something else._

 

"Ren?"

 

"We're old buddies, actually," he said easily. "We were at university together. Roomed together for a year. I think there were too many "Bens" in the dorm and somehow he ended up being called "Ren," and it stuck. At least for me. He likes to keep up formalities around here."

 

"So you know him pretty well," Rey said, digesting this little tidbit.

 

"Oh, sure," he said easily. "But I know him well enough to know he will _not_ be pleased knowing I'm poaching a research subject from him. Could I ask that you please not tell him I approached you? That's _if_ you consent to do me the favor of participating in my study. I'd pay you, of course."

 

"You _pay_ your research subjects?" She didn't see any point in telling him she wasn't returning to see Ben for hypnosis; it wasn't his business.

 

"I have a pretty generous grant funding this research project of mine, so yes. I can pay you $500 to come in and take some tests. I'm up one floor from Ren. Suite 108."

 

"You can pay _$500?_ What kind of research is it?"

 

"Don't laugh. It deals with paranormal psychology, for lack of a better term. I know, I know. People roll their eyes all the time. The tests are for ESP, clairvoyance, precognition - that sort of thing. And don't worry - there's no electroshocks or anything like that involved. Just guessing what's on some cards that are face down and things like that. You can think it's rubbish; you don't have to believe in it. Ren won't refer his patients to me; he says it's not what they come to him for. So...I staked out the hallway and followed you when you left. I'm desperate for test subjects. I know right now you're thinking I'm nuts."

 

Rey laughed, which felt good after the strain of the day. "Yeah, I guess maybe I do a little. I didn't recognize half of that stuff you said you were testing for. But I guess I could think about it," she said slowly.

 

"Good, good. Here is my card with my office and cell phone on it. Can I ask what's making you hesitate? No offense, but you look like a college student, and most students would jump at the chance to make $500 in an afternoon."

 

"Maybe that's it. It seems a little too good to be true."

 

"Ah, I see." Keeping his voice light and humorous, he continued, "Well, I'm flattered you have designs on me, but if it helps ease your mind that I'm hitting on you, I can assure you I'm spoken for." He waggled his left hand, letting her see the gold band on his third finger.

"I'm a happily married man. And to keep my wife from being uneasy about me being alone with attractive young coeds like yourself, I borrow Connix from Ren to be my receptionist. He's not there on Wednesdays or Fridays. My office isn't even that big. She could be in the room with us if you like."

 

That won her over. Even if Connix just sat there and filed her nails and glared at her, it proved he wasn't feeding her a line to get her alone.

 

"Okay, Dr. Huxley-"

 

"Hux. Please call me Hux; everyone does," he said in a friendly tone.

 

"Thank you...Hux. So when do you want to do this?"

 

"The sooner the better, if it suits you. I'm cutting it really close. Would tomorrow do?"

 

Rey thought about it. If Ben wasn't around, there was no danger of running into him, and she could use the distraction since she wasn't going to see Ben again. A little pang went through her heart as she thought about that. A part of her strongly wanted to return for more EMDR sessions. And, if she was being honest, to see Ben.

 

"Yeah, I could use something to do tomorrow. Could it be earlier in the day?"

 

"Absolutely. What time works for you?"

 

"Is 1:00 PM okay?"

 

"That will be fine. Suite 108. It's on the card. Call my cell if you have to cancel. Otherwise, I'll meet you in my office tomorrow. Just dress comfortably. It will probably take a couple of hours and then we'll be done, and I'll write you a check and you can go shopping for shoes or whatever you want to spend it on."

 

"Thanks, Dr. - I mean, thanks, Hux," she smiled back at him. "I'll wash this and bring it to you tomorrow," she said, indicating the handkerchief and starting back toward the parking lot.

 

"Keep it," he said. "You never know when you might need it again," he said, and something like satisfaction flashed across his face.

 

 _Odd_ , she thought.

 

* * *

 

 [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156517059@N08/29074786978/in/dateposted-public/)

 

 

It was dark by the time Rey arrived home. There were no lights on in the house as she pulled into the driveway. _Gwen must have already left for her shift._ Rey unlocked and opened the front door, dropping her keys on the hall table, turning on the lights and getting the wet cat food open for BeeBee. The cat skidded around the corner and brushed against her legs, meowing loudly as it heard the whir of the can opener.

 

"Take it easy, BeeBee. You always act like you're in danger of never getting fed or never seeing me again," she said, putting down his food dish. _I know what that feels like._

 

She swallowed hard as she gripped the kitchen counter, feeling a prickle behind her eyes threaten more tears. _I've done enough of that - stop it._ She looked around the empty house for something to occupy herself with. It was too early for bed but too late to start a movie. _A drink._

 

Rey checked the fridge for her bottle of Tequila Rose, but it looked like she had finished that off. She sighed. She'd be coping with her feelings sober tonight, apparently. She walked through her bedroom and stared at the overcast night sky through the French doors that led to their pool. _Yes, a swim..._

 

Kicking off her heels, Rey started shedding the outfit she had so carefully assembled for her appointment with Ben earlier that day. She threw her purse on the bed. Maybe she'd clean it later and find her damn sunglasses. And there was the hankie that "Hux" had so thoughtfully provided. _What an old-fashioned gesture_ , she thought idly. Not many men would have one available like that for a girl when she cried. Except... _Ben would._

 

Rey felt the tears gathering in her eyes at the realization she would not be seeing him again and hurriedly shed the last of her clothes in a heap, stepping out onto the darkened porch and not even bothering to turn on the pool light as she dove naked into the cool water. She skimmed the bottom of the pool, swimming underwater the long length of it and coming up for air with a gasp, feeling cleansed of the salty tears she had shed earlier. She flipped her hair back and floated on her back, slowly stretching her arms in a circular motion in a backstroke. She felt her fingers brush the edge and stood, pausing to breathe a bit more.

 

" _Need_ you splash about so loudly?" an annoyed voice said from one of the lounge chairs sheathed in darkness.

 

Rey gave a little scream as she whirled in the direction of the voice. "Gwen! Damn, you gave me a fright! I didn't see any lights on. I thought you were at work. What are you doing out here at this hour?" Rey self-consciously pressed her body against the side of the pool, hiding her nakedness. Not that Gwen could really see her in the darkness.

 

"I was furloughed for the night. Census at the hospital was low. My boss absolutely _insisted_ I take the night off. The little shit. Not that I mind a night off, but I didn't get notice of it until late this afternoon, so now my body is all out of whack. I must have drifted off. I had my phone out here with me...ah, there it is."

 

"Well, I guess I'll go inside," Rey said awkwardly.

 

"Don't be silly. Hang out. Have a drink. We never do that. Unless you count that disaster date you fixed me up on last week as socializing. I'm getting you back for that miserable evening, by the way. Stupid janitor/DJ whatever," she grumbled.

 

Rey grinned. "Well, I'd have a drink with you, but I finished off my Tequila Rose."

 

"Pffffft. Strawberry liquor. I don't see how you stand that stuff. Have some Pouilly-Fuisse like a grownup."

 

Rey heard the tinkle of expensive Chardonnay being poured from the darkness and then saw Gwen's robed figure approach the side of the pool with a glass.

 

Rey reached out and took a sip gratefully. "Thanks."

 

Gwen squinted at Rey's arm. "Are you naked?"

 

Rey winced a bit, embarrassed, but it was just her roommate, at least. "Yeah, sorry, wasn't expecting company."

 

"Relax, so am I under this. You're not the only one who likes to skinny-dip. I can't see you anyway out here; it's too dark with the cloud cover. So how was your day?" Gwen settled herself on the edge and dipped her feet in the water, leaning back on the concrete. "Ahhh."

 

"It was fine," Rey said, wobbling a bit on the last word and hurriedly gulping the contents of the glass.

 

"One of those. Here, you need a refill. Lucky for us I brought a few bottles out here. So, tell your Auntie Phasma what's wrong. Did Poe screw up?"

 

"No. No, it's not him. I went to therapy today and ended up quitting," Rey said, the alcohol warming her and loosening her tongue.

 

"I thought you liked that woman? Wasn't it doing you any good?"

 

"No, not Maz. In fact, that's another thing. I got a call from her earlier, and she's moving soon. She got a sudden job opportunity where her husband works in the Northwest, so she'll be leaving next week to join him, and I'll have to find another therapist...but that's not even it. I didn't tell you about...well, I started seeing a hypnotist, believe it or not. It's a technique used on PTSD and, in my case, nightmares. Only- only it just got...complicated," Rey's voice cracked.

 

"Mmmhmm..." Gwen murmured sympathetically, encouraging her to continue.

 

An hour later, Rey had opened up about all of it, finding relief in finally confiding all her pent-up feelings to her roommate. Maybe Gwen wasn't so bad, she mused, finishing off the bottle of wine. She was certainly a good listener. She'd made all the appropriate sympathetic noises as Rey told her about Ben and how things had ended that afternoon. Of course, she was also using her phone to play Words With Friends while listening, but she assured Rey she was a great multi-tasker and was listening to every word. She was just getting to the part about Hux when the doorbell rang.

 

"Ugh, let's just ignore it and maybe they'll go away. Who could be coming around at this hour? What is it, midnight?" Rey slurred slightly.

 

"It's 10:00 PM. Still pretty late, but it could be bad news or something. I'll go have a look. Don't move. I'll get rid of them and be back." Gwen pulled her robe tighter around her and went inside to get the door.

 

Rey looked around for her own robe, but it was in her bedroom, and she didn't want to walk naked past any windows while Gwen was opening the door. She didn't see any towels handy, either, although she knew there were some rolled up by the shed further down. Her skin was starting to feel wrinkled, but she settled herself against the side and waited for Gwen to get rid of the caller. Then she could get her to bring her a towel, and she could cover herself and get out of the pool.

 

She saw the furniture around the pool become clearly visible as the clouds that had been covering the sky cleared, revealing a bright full moon. The pool and its surroundings were now naturally lit by moonlight. Rey was thankful she was alone in her state of undress. She heard the door from the kitchen swing open and was startled to see Gwen stumbling a bit onto the porch on the arm of a very tall man wearing a black trench coat over grey pants and a dark sweater. Rey flattened herself against the wall of the pool and prayed Gwen was going to get rid of him.

 

No such luck.

 

"Rey! Yoo-hoo, speak of the devil, the Great Mesmer has arrived bearing gifts."

 

Ben held her up and corrected her. "Actually, it's 'hypnotherapist,' but 'Ben Solo' will do when announcing me, thanks. Rey, where are you? You left your sunglasses in my office, and I wanted to return them."

 

Rey looked up at the night sky, willing the clouds to return and cover the brightly shining moon, but the treacherous moon and stars twinkled down at her. She was in no condition to face him. This was the second time she would be drunk in his presence _and_ naked this time.

 

"Um, thanks, you can just leave them with Gwen and I'll get them later. I was just getting ready to get out and go to bed though, so thanks and goodnight," Rey said, hoping he'd take the hint and leave.

 

"Where are your manners, Rey? The man drove on his Harley all the way over here to deliver your cheap sunglasses to you, and you aren't getting out to thank him? You owe the man a chat at the very least!" Gwen was only feigning inebriation, because looking at the bottles, Rey realized she had drunk their entire contents herself. Gwen was stone-cold sober.

 

"Dr. Solo, is it? Why don't you go sit by the pool and get your feet wet? I'm going to bed myself if that's alright with you two. Bye, Rey!" she said in a sing-song voice, very unlike Gwen Phasma, and disappeared - without providing Rey with a robe or towel to hide behind.

 

Ben walked forward hesitantly, spying Rey in the pool pressed firmly to one side, water covering everything but her head. He knelt awkwardly so he could see her eyes and laid the sunglasses on the side of the pool. "I thought maybe they were prescription. No- that's a lie; I wanted to see you and talk about this afternoon. I'm worried about you. And I don't think I handled myself very well," he said.

 

Rey remained pressed to the side of the pool so he couldn't see her state of undress. In her drunken logic, it seemed shocking to tell him she had been skinny-dipping, so she let the darkness and side of the pool hide her and decided to brazen it out.

 

"Thank you. Ish fine," she slurred, hoping to get the conversation over with quickly.

 

"No. It _wasn't_ fine. That's what I came to discuss with you. I owe you an explanation and an apology."

 

 _Oh dear. This sounds like a long conversation,_ Rey thought desperately.

 

"No, no, s'okay. I'll come by Thursday or something." Her foggy brain barely got through the sentences, but she sounded sober enough, she thought.

 

"Rey, you left the office so upset, and I just can't bear for you to carry that with you until then. Please hear me out. There are some things you need to know," he said in that soft voice that melted her.

 

"Okay..."

 

Ben got up and stretched, pacing a bit and walking to the corner of the pool and then around it to where he could settle in one of the chairs. Rey, aghast, realized that once he turned that corner, the moonlight was going to leave her with no place to hide unless she followed along the edge and pressed against the other side, and he was walking too fast for her to do that.

 

Still not looking at her, Ben began his speech. "Rey, you weren't wrong when you said there was someone else within you I was trying to draw out. You remind me of someone I used to know. You have so many qualities she had, and yet in some ways, you are nothing like her. Nothing," he repeated.

 

The alcohol in Rey's brain brought back her feelings of hurt and the red haze of anger, blotting out all else. "You know, I really dislike how you say I'm nothing," she fumed, latching onto the last word.

 

"I said you are nothing like _her_ ," he corrected. "She was someone I once cared about very much, but she betrayed me. But, she was also brave and decisive and could take care of herself. And I care about _you_ , Rey. Your fragility, your fear - I can help you with that. I think I could help you with that part of you that doesn't feel safe. If you don't want to do EMDR, I respect that. But perhaps...we could be friends. Perhaps even...something more." He had reached the end of the pool where he could now turn and look directly at her.

 

Rey had absorbed none of what he'd said because she was too busy desperately trying to cover her privates with her hands as best she could. She hunched low in the water, hoping he was distracted enough not to see.

 

"I'm nothing like your ex. Great. I'm nothing. I'm nobody. Except to you," she muttered, still intoxicated.

 

Ben looked at her with a frown, realizing she hadn't grasped what he'd said. Was she remembering? She was parroting back the words he'd said to her from _before._ Was she conscious of it? Was she seeing him as a person in her nightmare? Was she on the verge of remembering and rejecting him as she had before?

 

This Rey, without her full memories, could become _his_ Rey if she would let him help her. In whatever way she felt she was damaged, he could help her. And they could _finally_ be together this time. But if she remembered who she was _before_ , well...that would be a different story.

 

His eyes widened as he saw how she held her arms over herself as the bright moonlight allowed her nowhere to hide, and he finally focused and saw her pale form shimmering in the clear blue water. 

 

"You're _nude,"_ he spluttered, closing his gaping mouth and turning around quickly so he couldn't see her. "Could - could you put on a _towel_ or something?"

 

Rey, still fuzzy-headed from several bottles of wine, registered this as an insult.

 

"I suppose your precious _ex-girlfriend_ has a better body to look at in the moonlight whereas mine just repulses you," she spat. "I didn't _plan_ on you coming by, you arrogant ass. This is _my_ house - well, partly mine, anyway. And this is a _private_ backyard. If I'm so ugly you don't even want a _peek_ at me then you shouldn't have come by," she said illogically.

 

"Well, Ben Solo, I don't want to be your _ex,_ whoever she may be, and I don't want to be your patient. I'm just some _nobody!_ So I suggest you _get out,"_ she said in a fury. She plunged underwater and swam for the opposite deep end of the pool, thinking perhaps she could shield herself under the diving board. She still wasn't thinking very clearly. All of a sudden, she felt a cramp in her side that intensified as she tried to rise to the surface. She gasped for breath as she came up and inhaled a mouthful of water. She splashed and tried to tread water, but the stitch in her side made her seize up. Combined with the alcohol, she lost her equilibrium underwater and swam toward the bottom instead of the surface.

 

_I can breathe underwater...with each step I take I'm getting more and more relaxed..._

 

Vaguely Rey was aware of a black shape streaking toward her like a torpedo and pulling her toward the surface. Something was hooked around her neck. She felt her body cradled close to something warm and then lying flat on a hard surface. She felt herself rising up toward the stars...or was it the droplets of fire again?

 

There he was again, kneeling before her. Only she was asleep. Were there flowers in her hair? Was she holding a carved figure? She wasn't sure. He wants to hurt her. He threw her against a tree; that's why she was knocked out. He hurt Finn. She has to get up from the snow and fight. She is so cold. The ground must be cold if there's snow...

 

**_"Rey!"_ **

 

Her chest hurts. Someone is pushing on it. She feels a rush of water coming up out of her lungs and coughs, too weak to open her eyes. Someone turns her head to the side and helps her expel the water in her lungs. She tries to draw a breath and can't. She is rising up into the stars again. Something warm and soft presses against her cold lips. Her lungs expand with air. Another breath. She becomes aware of her limbs as she sinks back into her body; they are heavy. She coughs violently. She takes a breath and finds it painful, but she coughs and manages to take another.

 

Something warm and dry covers her. She opens her eyes drowsily. Brown eyes stare anxiously into hers. Wet tendrils of his dark hair fall forward onto her face. Soft lips press against her forehead. She is being lifted up, cradled in his arms, and carried into her room. She can hear Gwen's anxious voice joining his, debating about calling an ambulance. Gwen says she will watch over her. He replies he will monitor her himself.

 

Rey falls asleep with the sensation that someone is holding her close and watching her every breath throughout the night.

 

_Daylight._

 

Someone is taking her pulse. Warm hands. Large hands.

 

She opens her eyes and sees him sitting on the edge of her bed. He gathers her close to his body.

 

His voice is silky soft. "You're not alone."

 

She tries to speak, but it is too difficult. _Stay with me,_ she entreats him silently.

 

"I'm with you, Rey. You're okay. You're safe. Listen to the sound of my voice. Trust me."

 

 _I trust you._ She drifts on a warm current, her ear pressed to his chest, registering his strong heartbeat.

 

 _You're mine. Only mine._ His voice sounds like it is inside her head, not speaking aloud.

 

"Mmmm." She starts to wake up, not sure what she has dreamed and what is real.

 

_You belong to me. Say it. Say it out loud, now._

 

"Belong to you," she says sleepily, snuggling into his chest.

 

She opens her eyes and registers the scene in confusion: Ben's tired face, the blankets covering her as he holds her close to him.

 

She shudders as she remembers other homes, other beds where boys have tried to hold her and tries to pull away.

 

_That's in the past. Repeat that to me._

 

_But it seemed so..._

 

_Rey. That's in the past. Say it. Say it out loud._

 

"It's in the past." She stares into his eyes in wonder now. How is his voice in her head? His mouth hadn't moved.

 

A gentle kiss presses against her forehead again. She turns her lips toward his face.

 

_Kiss me. Please._

 

_Not yet, Rey. You are very sleepy. You are going to sleep, and when you wake up, you will remember nothing of this, nothing of last night. You will come and see me Thursday. Say 'yes' out loud if you understand._

 

"Yes, Ben."

 

"Good girl. And from now on, you will find the taste and thought of alcohol repulsive. You will never swim and drink again. You won't have a sip of alcohol without asking my permission first. Do you understand?" His voice is stern.

 

"Yes," she whispers.

 

He gives her a longing look and cups her face in his hands, drinking her in. Then he sighs and brings his curved hand up to her forehead, and he vanishes, along with the rest of the world, as she falls into a deep slumber.

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, now you know who Rey's "stalker" was! I'm really enjoying following everyone's theories and observations in the comments! Some of you called it! I can't wait to hear what you thought of this chapter - hope it did not disappoint. 
> 
> However, I know I was supposed to tell you who the person on the phone with Ben is, and I didn't quite get to that. Sorry! Soon, I promise! I wasn't planning on writing the whole "pool" scene, and what was supposed to be a couple of paragraphs took up the whole second half of the chapter! Did I mention I sometimes deviate from the outline?
> 
> I love getting feedback and I've also enjoyed the personal exchanges with each of you! If you want to ask or share something but not in the comments, you can reach me at [ @pandoraspocksao3 ](https://pandoraspocksao3.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, or you can shoot me an email at pandora_spocks@yahoo.com.
> 
> If you're a playlist person, here are some of the songs I am listening to while writing. [ The Hypnotist Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/user/catness1969/playlist/141YsStWY3Ue6AdGUWCxbQ?si=EFx2xBucQH6_i_Kae-ak0A) *In no particular order.
> 
> I'm also on Twitter at [ @Pandora_SpocksAO3 ](https://twitter.com/Pandoraspocksa1/).


	7. The Parapsychologist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey undergoes testing by Dr. Huxley
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/51212640@N04/29432792878/in/dateposted-public/)

When Rey awoke the next morning, it was almost noon. She felt groggy as she sat up and rubbed her eyes. A note she had scribbled the other day was on her bedside table reminding her that she had a 1:00 PM appointment with Dr. Huxley.

 

_Damn, this would have to be the appointment I'm getting paid $500 to show up for._

 

Rey bolted from her bed and started throwing on clothes. Nothing too fancy, just some leggings and a long grey tunic and some ankle boots. She scrubbed her face and dragged her brush through her hair, which curiously felt damp. 

 

At that moment Gwen practically ran into her room. "Are you feeling alright, Rey? You had a lot to drink last night, so I let you sleep."

 

"Oh, that explains a lot. I don't remember much from last night. Anyway, I'm in a hurry. I'm good, thanks. Have you seen my blasted sunglasses?"

 

Gwen exited her room momentarily and returned with a pair of Rey's favorite cat's eye sunglasses in her hand. "I put them on the hall table after Dr. Solo brought them by last night," she said casually.

 

"What?! Ben came by last night?" Rey went pale, thinking of their botched last EMDR session. She'd thought she might have left her sunglasses there.

 

"You don't remember?" Gwen asked curiously.

 

"No. I don't have time to ask about it right now, though. I'm late! Thanks!" _He must have dropped it off while I was out in the pool._ Rey grabbed the sunglasses and her large canvas purse and slung it over her shoulder and sprinted toward the door.

 

* * *

 

 

It was almost 1:30 PM by the time Rey reached Dr. Huxley's office. Her hair was scraped back into a messy bun at the base of her neck. She frowned as she realized too late that she was wearing a three-quarter length sleeves on her top. Normally she wore long sleeves or a jacket over a top. It couldn't be helped. Pausing outside of his door to try and tidy her hair and catch her breath, she heard a pair of voices arguing. She didn't mean to eavesdrop, but she changed her mind when she heard her name mentioned.

 

"You didn't tell me this appointment was for _Reychelle Lumen!_ "

 

Rey recognized Connix's shrill tones easily. She heard the indistinct tones of a male voice in reply saying something she couldn't hear clearly.

 

"I don't give a shit how much you're paying me to come in for this; do you know how he is going to feel when he finds out you're testing her without asking _him_ first? I'm not going to be part of this!"

 

Rey pressed her ear against the door, but she only heard some indistinct murmuring. She took a deep breath and put her hand on the doorknob and entered the room.

 

Connix was standing with her arms folded in one corner of the room next to Dr. Huxley, who looked up in surprise to see her. His reddish hair looked mussed, and his glasses were crooked. He was wearing a casual sweater vest on top of a wrinkled shirt. Upon seeing her, he hastily straightened his glasses and ran his hands through his hair. Somehow, he succeeded only in making it worse. 

 

"Rey!" he said enthusiastically, approaching her with his hand held out. "I'm so glad you could make it."

 

Rey took his hand hesitantly and shook it, glancing at Connix and wondering what she'd meant. She wasn't sure if she should let them know she'd heard them or not. 

 

"I'm sorry I'm running late, Dr. Huxley-"

 

"Hux. Please do call me Hux!" His smile reminded Rey of a disorganized young professor who had taught a college course she'd taken, the kind who locked himself out of the classroom and forgot to bring assignments with him to class.

 

Connix also approached Rey and put a hand hesitantly on her arm. "Look, I just found out today you're the test subject for today, and I'm not sure how Ben would feel about this. If you want to postpone it or back out, it's not too late."

 

Rey looked at them both and frowned. "Is there a reason I should check with Dr. Solo about this before doing this ESP test or whatever it is? Is it dangerous?"

 

"Not at all," Hux said, smiling so widely it seemed a bit forced. "Of course it's still your choice, but it's just the same tests I do with all my research subjects. It's an easy $500. And I'll tell Ben about it afterward if you like and confess I saw you leaving his office. He'll probably read me the riot act, but he's not going to be mad at you."

 

"Okay. I'm curious about it anyway. Can you tell me a bit about it before we begin? I'm still not sure exactly what kind of researcher you are."

 

"Sure," Hux said eagerly. "Let's go inside and get comfortable, and I'll explain." He opened the door to the inner offices and gestured for Rey and Connix to precede him. 

 

"Both of you be sure you tell him I didn't know this was what I signed on for today," Connix grumbled. "I'm not really sure why you need me here anyway. It's not like you get phone calls. 'Ghostbusters, whaddya want?'" Connix mimicked the old movie perfectly, causing Rey to giggle. 

 

"Then it's easy money for you, too, isn't it?" Hux replied seamlessly. "All I need is that you be present in the room. You can read a magazine if you're bored. I just want Rey to be comfortable since she doesn't know me. Is that too hard for you to do?"

 

"As long as you tell Ben I didn't know about this and tried to talk her out of it," Connix replied snidely. "I like my _other_ job better."

 

They entered a large office area that was much different than Ben's. There were a couple of easy chairs and a sofa at one end, which Hux directed them to. The rest of the office held bookshelves stuffed with books and porcelain cat figurines. There was a strange table with a chair on either side with a large vertical panel in the middle that kept the people in the two chairs from seeing one another. They made themselves comfortable in the sitting area as Hux began to explain his work to Rey.

 

"I'm what is known as a 'parapsychologist.' I study psychic phenomena, which includes things like extrasensory perception, precognition, telepathy, telekinesis, clairvoyance, psychokinesis, reincarnation, and even apparitional claims. There are subsets without those categories, but to simplify it for you, I'll be doing tests to assess whether you can read someone's mind or thoughts in the past, present or future. I'll be doing tests to see if you can move inanimate objects with your mind. I'll test to see whether you can access information about a location, object, person, or physical event through visions. And lastly, I'll ask you about your hypnosis sessions with Dr. Solo and whether you've had any experience of a past life."

 

"Past life?!" Rey interrupted. "Look, this sounds like something kids get drunk and go to haunted houses and do for fun. None of that stuff is real. No offense, but before we get started and you pay me, I need to let you know I think all of this is a bunch of malarkey."

 

Hux didn't appear offended. "I'm used to that reaction. Within the scientific field, my studies are classified as 'pseudoscience' and not taken seriously. Getting quantitative evidence is difficult, and most all attempts at research have been debunked as fraud or not enough definitive information. Research is about what you can prove, and in my field, scientists are so skeptical that they look for any excuse to discredit any kind of factual evidence. But I don't let that stop me. Luckily the hospital here funds my research, for now. I'm fine with you not believing in any of this, as long as you will answer my test questions truthfully and honestly," he said, his intense stare making her look away.

 

"It's your money," Rey shrugged. "I didn't mean to be rude; I'm just skeptical that this sort of thing exists." 

 

"I completely understand," Hux said with a disarming smile. "Let's move to the table, shall we? Connix, you just sit there and read a magazine or something." 

 

"Ah, yes, you mustn't give Mrs. Huxley any cause for alarm," Rey smiled, as she got up and moved to sit opposite Hux with at the table with the large dividing board hiding each from the other's sight. Connix was seized by a sudden coughing fit on the couch at her words. 

 

"Connix, get some water or something for that," Hux instructed in an irritated tone. "I can't have you distracting my subject. Be professional, please."

 

"I'm good," Connix wheezed, her face completely hidden behind a Glamour magazine.

 

"Okay, Rey, this first test is for ESP, which is the category telepathy falls under. I have a set of 25 cards over here that contain five symbols. One has three wavy lines. The next is a square, then a circle, then a star, and the last is a plus sign. They are called "Zener cards" from the original study. I'll ask you to tell me the card I'm looking at, which you won't be able to see due to the divider, for the whole deck, and I'll go through the deck four times, which will be 100 guesses. Statistically, given the law of averages, you would have to score significantly higher than 20% to have any telepathic ability."

 

Despite herself, Rey was intrigued. "Sounds fun; let's get started," she said with a smile. She could feel Connix rolling her eyes in the corner of the room without turning around and wondered if that counted for anything.

 

An hour later, Rey was feeling less enthusiastic, having no idea if she was getting it right or not. He seemed to go on for double the amount of time he had originally said he would. Upon finishing, Rey asked him how she'd done.

 

"Well...I'm afraid at 13%, you're below the statistical average needed to indicate you have any telepathic ability," Hux informed her, patting her shoulder as he walked past her to get ready for the next test. "But it was a slim chance anyway. Most people don't have the ability. But...we'll see how you do on the other tests," he said, optimistically.

 

Rey smiled. She hadn't really expected to find out she was a mind reader, although it would have been fun. Indulging the odd Irishman in his experiment didn't seem to be doing any harm.

 

“So what’s next? Bending a spoon or something?” she quipped.

 

“Not quite,” Hux answered with a strained smile. “You’re on the right track. Next up is psychokinesis. Loosely put, it’s the ability of the mind to alter matter or energy.”

 

“So how does the mind do that?” Rey asked, puzzled.

 

“It hasn’t been answered by science. No one knows. My field is scoffed at by psychologists and medical science in general. I happen to believe in it. I’ve seen cases where people exhibited telekinesis, which is the ability to move objects with the mind. But without measurable proof, it’s hard to convince anyone it exists.”

 

“Oh,” Rey said awkwardly. Privately, she thought the odd doctor might be a bit off his rocker, but apparently he believed what he was saying.

 

“This time I’ll be throwing dice, and I want you to concentrate on them forming number combinations. If you’ve ever played the game “Yahtzee;” it’s like that. I throw five dice behind the partition, and you will concentrate on them being all 6’s, or a couple of 3’s and the rest 4’s. I’ll have a paper on your side for each throw of what I want you to imagine the dice will look like after I throw them, okay?” 

 

“Okay,” Rey said, getting situated again on her side of the table and concentrating. It took another hour of this before they moved on to the next test. 

 

“For this next one, I’m going to have to put you under light hypnosis,” Hux said to her casually. “I know you respond to that very well if you are in Ren’s study. You will have perfect awareness of what we’re doing.”

 

Rey frowned. “I didn’t realize you were going to hypnotize me. What is the next test for?”

 

“Precognition and retrocognition...the ability to see past or future events. Perhaps even a past life.” 

 

Rey scoffed aloud this time. “There isn’t any such thing. I’m sorry, but that’s just preposterous.”

 

Hux’s eyes appeared glacial, but he kept up his affable smile. “Then it will just be an exercise that proves me wrong. Will you indulge me?”

 

“Alright. I guess it can’t hurt,” Rey grumbled. 

 

Hux used a similar hypnosis technique that Ben had on her, putting her into a trance where she focused on his voice but was aware of her surroundings. She wasn’t sure of what question triggered it, but suddenly she saw light...brilliant, hot light everywhere. And sand. It was as if she was in the middle of the Sahara desert, but her body was at ease with walking over the dunes. Hux asked her to look at herself and describe what she was wearing.

 

Perplexed, Rey looked at her arms and saw she had some sort of mummification wraps on her arms, like a rag wound around and around from her wrist to her shoulder, but it didn’t attach to her garment, which was a dirty white material of some sort. A tunic and leggings, but nothing like what she’d bought at Old Navy. These garments looked cruder. She noticed she carried a long stick to aid with walking. 

 

Then she saw her home. A claustrophobic tin shelter of some kind with dozens upon dozens of tick marks etched into the side as if counting something. A crude doll of some sort in the corner. The dry taste of some sort of bread that was more like cardboard in her mouth. An overpowering feeling of loneliness and abandonment. It was a horrible feeling she was all too familiar with fighting back for most of her life. She caught her breath and wrenched herself out of the trance, panting. 

 

“That’s enough. No more hypnosis. That was some sort of weird dream, and it made me feel awful,” Rey shuddered. She recounted for Hux what she had seen and felt and then got up from the chair to stretch and to try to shake off the feelings the experiment had evoked.

 

“Are you sure? Rey, you were doing very, very well,” Hux cajoled.

 

Rey looked at the overeager man with the fanatical gleam in his ice-blue eyes and snapped at him. “I told you it made me feel horrible. How did I do on the dice? Did I make the numbers match? Did I levitate them? What were the results?”

 

Hux hesitated. “Well, I’m not supposed to tell my subjects, but...no, you didn’t have a positive result on those either, unfortunately. But that doesn’t mean your answers and participation weren’t valuable,” he said hastily. 

 

Rey sniffed. “Fine. Good, I guess. I’m sorry, but I just don’t really understand this, and obviously I don’t have any of these abilities you are seeking. Are we done?”

 

Hux quickly rose and got her a bottle of water from a mini-fridge in the room. Pressing it into her hand, he entreated her, “There are a few more tests I’d like to do. One is ‘dream telepathy’ for which I would give you homework. And we haven’t gotten to ‘remote viewing’ yet-”

 

Rey interrupted him. “Look. I’m sorry, but I’m exhausted and need to leave. It’s been- Oh my gosh, five hours of this! I just can’t do any more of this. Pay me what you think is fair for what I’ve done today, but I want to leave,” Rey stated firmly. 

 

“My dear Rey, I’m so sorry if I pushed you too far today,” Hux said in conciliatory tones. “And, of course, you will be paid in full with a bonus of $100 for the extended time it took. Unless you think you need more compensation?” He seemed anxious to please her. 

 

Rey looked at him as though he were mad. “You want to pay me $600 for this afternoon, even though I haven’t finished all your tests?”

 

“But of course, my dear,” he mewled as he drew closer to her and started to reach to touch her shoulder, then retracting it as if she were a feral cat who might skitter away from him...or bite. “I would also pay you the same sum to continue on another day when you are more rested,” he offered eagerly.

 

A laugh from the corner of the room got the attention of both Rey and Hux. “Do you really think she’ll be back after today?” Connix was stretching from her corner on the couch. “I sorta doubt you’ll get a repeat performance once Ben hears you conducted your experiments on his favorite patient.” 

 

Hux whipped around to regard her, and his pleasant demeanor broke for the first time. “That’s enough from you! You’ll say nothing of this to him unless you want me to tell him you encouraged her to come, and then someone will lose her ‘favorite’ boss.”

 

Rey looked at them both, outraged. “I don’t know what you’re going on about, but I participated on my own, and I don’t owe anyone an explanation for it. But I am going to mention to him that I was in this study because I don’t see why it should be such a big deal!”

 

Hux regained his composure and turned to Rey again. “There’s no reason you shouldn't. I’ll tell him myself after you leave about the session, in fact. I’m sure he’ll be angry about how I found you, but he’ll get over it. I’m sorry if this was unpleasant for you, Rey. I am overly eager to prove my theories, I’m afraid.”

 

Rey softened somewhat and accepted the cash he handed her. “I’m sorry you have such a hard time getting research participants and proving your hypotheses,” she said sincerely. “I have a question, though. If the scientific research community is so skeptical of this type of work, how do you have funding to pay for all this?” she indicated the office and herself with a sweep of her arm.

 

“Through grants like the Skywalker Foundation and private organizations who wish to fund my work. Thankfully, I have no worries on that score. Rest assured if you decide to participate further, I can pay you,” Hux said confidently. 

 

“I’ll think about it,” Rey said, smiling and offering her hand. He shook it, and she and Connix walked to the door and exited the office.

 

* * *

 

 

Ten minutes later, the ringtone on Ben Solo’s phone went off, and when he saw who the caller was, he hastened to answer it. “What now?” he answered crisply.

 

“Oh, I think you’ll be very interested in what I have to say, Ren,” Hux said smugly. “I tested the girl today.”

 

“You _what?_ ” Ben hissed in a threatening tone. “I gave you no permission to do so. I told you to hold off, in fact. I’m handling this my way, and you are not to proceed without my approval.”

 

“Relax, Ren. In case you’ve forgotten, you don’t wield the same power you once did, ‘Supreme Leader,’” Hux said sarcastically. 

 

“I don’t need any kind of ‘power’ to take you out of commission,” snarled Ben. “My bare hands will suffice.”

 

“Now calm down,” Hux said hurriedly. “You’ll thank me for doing it. As I said, I tested the girl today. She thinks she did poorly on everything. But in fact, she surpassed our wildest expectations on every test. She may be unaware of who she is, but Rey of Jakku and Reychelle Lumen are one and the same. This is 100% confirmation. Now that you know, you can have your revenge and I can have what I need,” Hux chuckled in delight. “I say we speed up the plan.”

 

“Hux. You will do this on my timetable,” Ben said sternly. “Understood?”

 

“Fine, but what happened to the ‘no mercy’ policy? I’d have thought you’d want to catch her unawares. You can even the score in this life by catching her before she awakens. Don’t forget what she did to you…”

 

“I haven’t forgotten,” Ben snapped irately. “But as long as she is Reychelle Lumen and hasn’t awakened to her former self, she is an innocent. You are to treat her as a civilian, if that clarifies it for you. Do you understand? You don’t go near her again without my permission.”

 

“I warned you in another time and place to be careful that your feelings for that girl do not get in the way of your mission,” Hux sniped. “This whole plan was yours to begin with. I don’t see why you’re stalling-”

 

“ **You will do as you’re told,** ” Ben thundered into the phone. There was silence on the other end. A meek voice of assent somewhat reassured him, and he broke off the connection. Staring at the inanimate object as if it were the red-haired parapsychologist himself, he flung it with all his might against the wall, shattering it into pieces as broken as his own soul.

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so thrilled to have so many subscribers to this story and hope you are enjoying it! I had to get into parapsychology in this chapter and hope it wasn't too dry. 
> 
> Basically, what I'm laying groundwork for is that the Force is basically comprised of some of the things we classify as "parapsychology" today. The "Force Bond" would be "telepathy." Moving objects would be "telekinesis" and visions would be "precognition" etc. 
> 
> If anyone has seen the movie "Men Who Stare At Goats," you will know there was actually government funded research in the U.S. for some pretty strange stuff, such as remote viewing! 
> 
> The tests were all REAL parapsychology tests that have been used in the past to test for ESP ability. I did the Zener card test on college students back when I was in college, actually, and I actually found something interesting. I found a higher percentage of guesses were correct between couples and best friends than people who didn't know each other well. If you have some index cards, you can try it too! They are fascinating. Just Google "Zener cards" and you'll see the drawings are very basic and the test is easy to do. 
> 
> So, back to the story, I hope this chapter clears up some questions! You now have the answer to the mysterious caller Ben talks to! What do you think of Hux? I love reading your comments and speculations! I'm on Tumblr [ @pandoraspocksao3 ](https://pandoraspocksao3.tumblr.com/) if you want to say hello or ask any questions!
> 
> I'm also on Twitter at [ @Pandora_SpocksAO3 ](https://twitter.com/Pandoraspocksa1/).
> 
> If you're a playlist person, here are some of the songs I am listening to while writing. [ The Hypnotist Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/user/catness1969/playlist/141YsStWY3Ue6AdGUWCxbQ?si=EFx2xBucQH6_i_Kae-ak0A) *In no particular order.


	8. Damaged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/51212640@N04/28813942107/in/dateposted-public/)
> 
> Rey reveals personal secrets to Ben in therapy; Hux continues Huxing.
> 
> **Trigger warning: mention of eating disorder (not graphic)**

Ben checked his watch irritably. She was late. Or she wasn't coming. What if his posthypnotic suggestion hadn't registered with her? She had been inebriated at the time, so there was always a chance it interfered with his suggestion - command, actually - that she come to see him for her appointment as usual. If it hadn't worked, she might be sticking with her previous statement that she didn't want to come back for therapy sessions anymore. And there was no telling what effect _Hux_ had on her with his damnable tests. She could have remembered _everything_ before she was in a controlled setting. The only reason he hadn't bashed Hux's teeth in was that on the off chance he hadn't screwed things up, he might require his presence at the horse race that weekend.

 

He picked up the office phone and rang the front office. Connix picked up on the fifth ring.

 

"Why do I even _pay_ you?" he hissed in irritation. "What required your attention so badly you couldn't pick up on the first ring?"

 

"Dunno. Labor laws for the first question, and because I just painted my nails for the second one. Gotta have Poe Dameron's racing colors on my fingernails for luck." A smack of gum in his ear made him wince and hold the receiver away from his head.

 

Ben squeezed the stress ball he was holding so hard it shredded apart at the mention of Rey's boyfriend. "The front office is _not_ a beauty salon."

 

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I make you jealous?" he heard her coo into the phone. "Don't worry, Boss. He's just got the best odds to win the race this weekend and-"

 

"Is my client here yet?" he snapped.

 

"Let me check...let's see, your 4:30 PM appointment is with- why, your _only_ appointment for this whole afternoon is _Reychelle Lumen_! And unless she's hiding under a magazine, she's not here yet." The snark in her voice was unmistakable, and Ben clenched his teeth together to keep from hurling profanities.

 

"Oh, wait, she just walked in." Her gum popped once more in his ear, and then he heard her say in a bored tone to Rey, " _Doctor-Solo-will-see-you-now_."

 

Ben banged down the receiver down in annoyance and got up and ran his hand through his thick, wavy locks. He hadn't even tied his hair back properly today. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and went to open the door.

 

She was already waiting on the other side of it, face flushed and strands of hair escaping her messy bun at the nape of her neck. She had on a simple blue and white sundress with a white cotton sweater covering her arms, and the little gold cross she always wore around her neck. She looked up at him contritely through her long lashes.

 

"I'm sorry I'm running so late."

 

"What?  No, no, no, you're fine. Hadn't noticed the time, actually. Come in," he said, clearing his throat and gathering his wits about him. She walked past him and seemed a bit ill at ease. She selected the chair that put the most distance between them. He took his customary seat and noticed she kept her head down, focusing on the plastic wands in the glass bowl. She scooped up all the different colored wands and turned them over, finally settling on a purple one and drawing it into her lap and rotating it, watching the glitter fall.

 

"I have something I need to confess," she said softly.

 

Ben's throat went dry. "Go on," he said neutrally. Had her past come back to her? Or was she remembering the night he saw her in the pool? Was she falling in love with-

 

"I participated in one of your colleague's research studies the other day."

 

 _Oh,_ _that._

 

"It was Dr. Huxley," she continued. "He paid me to participate in doing some tests to see if I'm psychic or whatever you call it. Turns out I'm not, by the way." She continued to flip the wand in her hand, focusing on the falling stars and moons mixed in with the glitter. "He and Connix acted like you might have a problem with it, so I wanted to make sure you knew. Dr. Huxley said he'd tell you about it." She glanced up at him nervously, as if she'd done something wrong.

 

He exhaled slowly. "Yes, he did tell me. And the only 'problem' I have with it is how he recruited you. Dr. Huxley was so excited about his study that he didn't stop to consider it might not have been good for you. He doesn't know what we're working on in here, and he uses hypnosis with those tests also, which could interfere with your sessions here." _There, that sounds somewhat plausible._

 

"Oh. I didn't know that. So you aren't mad at me?"

 

"Of course not. I'm just...concerned about how it might have affected you. Did you have any repeats of the nightmare since I saw you last?"

 

"Well...I had one the other night after I saw Dr. Huxley. I saw something when he hypnotized me, and I guess I dreamt about that. "

 

Ben frowned. "Really? What was the dream about?"

 

"I dreamt of a desert. It was like I was in the desert, and there was sand...  _everywhere_! It was so bright. The light was reflecting off everything, and it was so hot. There may have been more, but I woke myself up screaming. I guess we could do an EMDR session on that." She began to fidget and looked like she'd prefer to do anything else.

 

Ben was in no hurry for her to recall Jakku.

 

"We could do that, but if you aren't feeling up to it today, we could just...talk."

 

"Talk?" Rey asked in confusion. "I thought the whole point of these sessions was to focus on EMDR. Isn't that why I'm here?"

 

Ben hesitated. He didn't want her to go, but he didn't want to proceed with awakening her...yet.

 

"It was the presenting problem, yes, but I'm aware that your regular therapist left rather abruptly, and you don't have anyone with whom you can discuss things. If you'd like, we can talk about those things in here until you get a replacement therapist. I've got you on the waitlist to see Dr. Holdo, but I'm afraid she has a very long wait for new patients." That was a lie, but it suited his purposes. "It's up to you, Rey. We can do EMDR, or if you'd feel comfortable discussing what you were working on in therapy with Maz, you might prefer doing that today. Again, I'll leave it up to you," he said carefully.

 

Rey settled back into the sofa and exhaled slowly. "That would be nice, actually. I know Maz had to take this job opportunity so she could be with her husband, but I never even got to tell her goodbye in person. It feels strange not to have her around to confide in. She knew all my secrets, and now she's just...gone."

 

Ben was dying to ask what those secrets were, but he merely remarked, "That must be really hard for you."

 

"It is. Yeah. Thanks." Rey picked up a pillow and held it in front of her stomach, hugging it to her unconsciously. "She knew things about me that I couldn't tell anyone else. Things that would make other people think I was a freak if they knew." She refrained from making eye contact with him.

 

"Rey," he said softly, so softly she leaned forward to hear him better. "There's nothing you could tell me that would make me think you were a freak. Trust me."

 

There was a long silence, during which Ben fought with himself to keep from saying any more. The decision had to be hers. _She wants to tell me._

 

Her eyes met his for a long moment, and then she took a ragged breath. "I have....problems...with food," she said, dropping her eyes again in apparent shame.

 

Ben was careful not to let his facial expression change, only registering concern. "What problems do you have with food, Rey?"

 

She gripped the pillow and held it even more tightly to herself as if it would protect her as she curled her legs underneath her. "I don't eat sometimes. And sometimes I eat a lot and then...I get rid of it," she said quietly, a flood of color suffusing her cheeks.

 

"I see," he said, keeping his voice steady, aching to take her into his arms and comfort her. He had been so busy looking at her chart for clues of her past life that he had just skimmed over the secondary diagnosis of bulimia nervosa. "Was that what you and Maz talked about?"

 

"Sometimes. She kept tabs on how I was doing with that, but mostly...mostly she helped me understand _why_ I did it. When you grow up in foster homes like I did and you never know when you'll be pulled out again and taken somewhere else or what to expect, it's like everything is always out of control. It's hard to explain, but eating or not eating was this one thing that I could control, or thought I could, until that got out of control, too. And I couldn't stop." She covered her mouth with her hand unconsciously. "It's embarrassing to talk about with you." Her face reddened.

 

Ben wondered if Rey had dealt with any issues like that when she was on Jakku. In the limited times they'd talked, she hadn't mentioned it.  She looked so strong and muscular back then and certainly held her own against _him._ But Reychelle didn't look like she had an eating disorder either. Her body was muscular and firm from swimming or running or whatever she did to keep fit. If she hadn't told him, he wouldn't have even guessed.

 

"I'm not an eating disorders counselor; I want to make that clear," he said slowly, "but can I ask how you've been doing with that? Was that what you meant that time you said you felt you were 'damaged'? The eating disorder?"

 

Rey took a few minutes before she spoke, then seemed to make up her mind to share.

 

"Yeah. I guess I was having a really low self-esteem day when I told you that. I struggle some days more than others. Some days I feel really strong and like I have it together, but other days I revert. Maz always said to start fresh the next day and make an effort to get back on track once I realized I was slipping. Just to focus on the basics of self-care. Eating enough, hydrating, showering, brushing my teeth - stuff that can seem like too much effort when a person gets depressed or down on themselves."

 

"Sounds like good advice," Ben nodded. He felt a little guilty now for making sure Maz's dream job had materialized when Rey actually needed her. This wasn't something he knew how to help her with. Except his goal _hadn't_ been to help her at the time he made sure Maz would be conveniently out of the way. Why was he concerned now? He was helping _Reychelle_ , he told himself. This wasn't the same girl who kicked his ass in battle and simply sat down in starships and knew how to fly them without being taught. _This_ girl struggled just to eat properly every day. But what did he really know about Rey's day to day life on Jakku? Just that it had been hard. Maybe she had had problems with food as well. Could a woman who was so strong outwardly, like Rey and Reychelle both seemed to be, secretly be battling inner demons like this?

 

Punishing herself to gain control of an out of control situation. Using pain and denial to find strength and control, only to find at the end of the day that all it had done was tear her apart. _She's doing what I did back then_ , he realized in shock. 

 

He looked at her more carefully, assessing _Reychelle_ and seeing her for who she was in her present life instead of her past. She had absent-mindedly pushed one sleeve of her sweater to her elbow. She normally kept her arms covered with some kind of wrap or jewelry, he mused. Her head was down as she spoke, so she didn't see him focusing on her exposed forearm. It was faint, but he could make out a healed slash mark across her wrist.

 

"-so Maz had me keep a food journal to make sure I was eating healthy and getting enough calories, so I maintained the right weight for my height and build," Rey was saying. "And when I discussed what was going on in my life, I felt more in control. Saying it out loud and owning what I was anxious about made me feel more in control, and I guess I gradually needed to do it less and less."

 

Ben nodded. It struck him that when he had connected with Rey through their Bond before, he had finally felt a measure of peace and hope for the first time when he had someone who listened and believed him when he told them about Luke. She'd seen him at his monstrous worst and still reached out to him. Having that connection to her - that feeling of another person who understood and accepted him for what he was - had been the catalyst that finally made him end Snoke and the torments he'd endured in the false belief that it made him strong. Her acceptance of him at that point in time had made that possible. Now he was the one in a position to help her. Or do her harm.

 

"Dr. Solo? Ben?" he heard her say, breaking his reverie. "Did hearing that...repulse you?" she asked, uncertainty and a bit of fear in her voice.

 

"No," he reassured her quickly. "I was just taking in everything you told me. I have some understanding of why people fall into unhealthy coping behaviors to feel in control of their life." _What an understatement. What a hypocrite I am,_ he chided himself, even as he reassured Rey.

 

There was silence as he searched for the right words. Rey's eyes lit on the katanas framed on the wall and widened.

 

"What are those swords? I've been wondering since I started coming here what they were."

 

"They're a collector's item. Those are authentic Samurai swords. In feudal Japan, it was the weapon of a Samurai warrior. I was fascinated by them, and then I got into martial arts training. I guess you could say that's how I channel my own negative feelings of being out of control. I learned karate for discipline. It was something my uncle got me into when I was a teen. It helped. I still go to my dojo and practice."

 

Rey leaned forward with interest, her shyness disappearing. "Really? Do you think it's something I'm too old to learn? I'd like to know more about that."

 

Ben closed his eyes for a moment, remembering locked sabers in a snow-covered forest. _You need a teacher._

 

"I could hook you up with my dojo, sure," he said casually, suppressing his excitement of what learning martial arts could stimulate in Rey. If it brought back her memories, it would be a fair fight, at least. And if it didn't...perhaps _he_ could be the one to help _her_ this time.

 

"I'd like that," she said, her eyes shining softly, as if imagining a more empowered version of herself. "I'd go this weekend if I could. That sounds like something I did once when I was in foster care."

 

"You think you may have had training before?" he asked curiously.

 

"Maybe. My childhood memories are mixed up since I moved around so much, but there were a few years when I was in my early teens where I took some form of karate. Our teacher wasn't very good, but I had some instruction, now that I think about it."

 

"Interesting that you blocked that out until now," Ben commented.

 

"I've done a lot of that, I suppose," she shrugged. "Now that I think about it, I'm really interested in doing that. I'd look into it this weekend, but I promised Poe I'd be at the race tomorrow. "

 

"You're still seeing him, then?" Ben questioned, adopting as casual a tone as he could manage. _The pilot again._ He'd thought that had ended the night at the bar.

 

"Well, I haven't had time to sit down and talk to him about things, but...yes, I guess I am. He dropped by and said he wanted Gwen - that's my roommate - and I to be there." She paused awkwardly, looking at him and then coloring a bit. "I was going to tell him, but I didn't get a chance. And then...well, we've been going out for a month now, and he's- he's a nice guy. I know you don't think so after that night at the bar, but he's been decent to me. He just gets so wrapped up in racing. It's his whole world."

 

"Is that the kind of guy you want to be with?" Ben pressed a little harder. "Don't you deserve someone who puts you first?" _Like me._

 

Rey shrugged, her face flushing again, and then her face registered a bit of anger. "He's...the only guy who's available to date that I know," she shot back, this time seeming to issue a challenge to him.

 

He supposed this should be the time he brought up transference and counter-transference and ethics in therapy, but - _fuck that! Careful, Solo,_ he cautioned himself. Once long ago he'd moved too fast, and she had fled from him. And there was more work to be done with her. But Dameron had to be dealt with; he wasn't about to stand for that.

 

"Rey," he said, in his most therapeutic manner, "it just seems to me you need to work on yourself right now. You've said yourself this guy doesn't put you first. You don't sound like you're that excited to be with him. What's wrong with just being single and exploring who you are for a while? Are you afraid of what his reaction will be if you break up with him?" _There have to be a dozen country music songs that would back me up on this._ Unfortunately, he didn't listen to country music and couldn't think of a single one.

 

"I guess I don't see the harm in dating him. He's attractive, he likes me, and I can still work on my issues _without_ breaking up with him. It's not like there's anyone _else_ asking me out right now," she said mutinously, and this time he _knew_ she was directing it at him.

 

"That sounds like a great reason to date someone," he shot back, instantly regretting he'd let her bait him. "Rey," he said, more gently, "It's up to you whether you stay with him or not, but do you think it's fair of you to be with someone when you don't have the same feelings for him that he does for you?" _Not that I give a damn about the pilot's feelings._

 

She looked away guiltily as if she hadn't considered that possibility. "I don't know what his feelings are for me," she said. "It's still a new relationship."

 

Ben pursed his lips and then bit back what he was going to say. He couldn't push her on this, and he couldn't say what she wanted him to say.

 

"I think our time's up for today," he said gently. "You need to get your rest for the race tomorrow. I appreciate what you shared with me. I hope talking about everything helped."

 

She stood up, looking at him as if she wanted to say more but couldn't.  As he stood, she came toward him, her eyes staring into his as she had in the past on the elevator, as if silently compelling him to reach out to her.

 

"It did," she whispered, and he panicked as he realized she was going to try to hug him.

 

Quickly, he put out his hand instead. He would not maintain his composure if she hugged him, and it was necessary for him to keep a professional distance. Her eyes were disappointed, but she slid her hand into his, fingertips brushing his.

 

For a moment, he felt like they were touching hands as they had long ago, over a warm fire, their first contact since the Bond had forged. The visions they both had of the other. The feelings of what might have been...and then Luke had interrupted it. He came back sharply to the present as he felt the warmth of Reychelle's small hand in his. He inhaled sharply at the same time she did. A confused look passed over her face. A questioning look.

 

"Oh, excuse me," a familiar, overeager voice intruded into the stillness.

 

Ben and Rey's hands broke apart, ruining the moment. Ben wasn't sure whether he should feel furious or relieved.

 

"Hux, what are you doing back here? I'm with a client," he said, fury winning out.

 

"Oh, of course. I'm _so_ sorry for interrupting, but it looks like you were finished anyway. Connix has gone for the day, I see, so I thought you were back here by yourself. _Hello,_ Rey, so nice to see you again!" he fawned, causing Ben to grit his teeth.

 

"What is it, Dr. Huxley?" he ground out, as Rey murmured a greeting back to Hux, fumbled with her purse, and prepared to leave.

 

"I simply wanted to make sure you were coming with my wife and I tomorrow for the race? She's looking forward to seeing you again. Do sit with us."

 

Rey whirled to look at Ben. " _You're_ going to the race?"

 

Ben shot a warning glance at Hux. "I'd forgotten your kind invitation, Doctor. Thank you, I'd be delighted to sit with you and Mrs. Huxley. I need to discuss something with you anyway if you could stay a moment, please. Have a good evening, Rey," he said, stiffly and formally, anxious to avoid the awkward questions she might ask.

 

"Yes, you too," she said, the look of puzzlement from the moment they touched hands fading. "I guess I might see you there."

 

"Count on it," Hux called out cheerfully as she exited the door. The two men watched the office door for a moment, listening until they heard the sound of the outer hallway door latching shut, indicating Rey was out of hearing range.

 

"If you ever interrupt one of my sessions again-"

 

"Oh Ren, please. We're all such _very good friends_ now," Hux said smugly. "And if the love-struck puppy expression on your face when I came in was any indication, your 'session' needed interrupting.  She's close to awakening; we both know that."

 

"We do _not,_ " Ben stated emphatically.

 

Hux snorted, his affable expression he'd worn for Rey changing to a steely one as his eyes glinted knowingly at the other man.

 

"Did you even hypnotize her this time? You're doing your best to slow this down, aren't you? You think everything will be different this time. You think _she's_  different."

 

"Shut up," Ben snarled, advancing on the smaller man, professionalism totally gone.

 

Hux circled behind the couch, carefully putting a barrier between them. "Ren, calm down. We may not like each other, but remember, we're allies. You are going to need me and my resources." He watched the muscular man opposite him warily, relieved when he saw him halt and regain control of his rage. 

 

"What if you're wrong?" Ben asked quietly. "You'd hate that, wouldn't you?"

 

"I'm not, though. Tell me, did she break it off with Dameron yet? Oh, don't look at me like that; I know you, and I _know_ you tried to get her to let go of him, didn't you?" 

 

Ben was stonily silent.

 

"Predictable. I'm sorry she didn't, Ren, but it just further proves my point. So, what's the plan for the pilot-turned-jockey tomorrow? Burrs under the saddle? Some other form of accident? There's more than one way to get him out of her life, and the more gruesome the better, as far as I'm concerned," Hux said, an evil look of relish on his face.

 

" _No._ I've taken care of it my own way. We let it play out tomorrow," Ben said with authority. He brushed his hair back from his face, suddenly weary. "I know why _I'm_ doing this tomorrow, but I don't understand _your_ personal interest in this, aside from isolating the girl. What's your beef with Dameron?"

 

There was a moment of silence as Hux's face contorted as he recalled a memory.

 

"He called me 'pasty.'"

 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we will be off to the races, and you'll get to meet Mrs. Huxley and see how the race goes - I'm really looking forward to writing that one! 
> 
> If you're a playlist person, here are some of the songs I am listening to while writing. [ The Hypnotist Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/user/catness1969/playlist/141YsStWY3Ue6AdGUWCxbQ?si=EFx2xBucQH6_i_Kae-ak0A) *In no particular order. 
> 
> I always love hearing your feedback! I'm on Tumblr at ~Pandora [ @pandoraspocksao3 ](https://pandoraspocksao3.tumblr.com/)
> 
> I'm also on Twitter at [ @Pandora_SpocksAO3 ](https://twitter.com/Pandoraspocksa1/).
> 
> Come say hi!


	9. Rivalry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/51212640@N04/43100907545/in/dateposted-public/)
> 
> The horse race is finally here and the stakes are high - not only for competitors, but for everyone. The outcome will decide the future of one of the characters. Relationships will be tested and undercurrents and underhandedness abound. Place your bets!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick note of thanks to [ StarHorse7 ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarHorse7/pseuds/StarHorse7), known as [ @starhorse ](https://star-horse.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, without whose knowledge and expertise I could not have set up and written this chapter. This woman knows everything about the racing world and I'm crediting her as co-author on this chapter because she pretty much wrote the race scenes, and corrected me and set me straight on several other goofs I would have made because I don't know how racing works! She put in a lot of time chatting with me and then editing the draft, and I can't thank her enough!
> 
> Now let's go off to the races, shall we? Mr. and Mrs. Huxley are waiting!

* * *

 

The late afternoon sun was mercifully hidden behind slight cloud cover on Saturday. The temperature was perfect, and Rey and Gwen had arrived early to catch a few of the Undercard races before the main event began. The bleachers weren't too crowded yet, and Rey checked her phone anxiously for any messages from Poe. He hadn't even called her the night before. Nada.

 

Gwen was busy with her own phone, not being a huge fan of small talk. She saw Rey's miserable expression, however, and put it down for the moment.

 

"I take it no word from Jockey Shorts?" she inquired solicitously.

 

"That joke is getting old," Rey grumbled. "But no. That's how he is before a race. He'll probably want to get together later tonight. Probably," she said, unconvincingly.

 

"Mmmhmmm," Gwen murmured, becoming absorbed in her phone again.

 

Rey glanced around the bleachers anxiously, even though she wasn't expecting Rose and Finn to show up. Gwen was a poor conversationalist when she had her phone out. Whatever games she was into or friends she was texting seemed to require her total attention.

 

Another 20 minutes passed, and Rey was thankful the bleachers were designed to be in the shade. The announcers were droning on about the horses' chances and encouraging people to gamble. In the center of the track, Rey could see the grooms walking their horses around and getting their muscles loosened up. 

 

"So, did you place any bets?" Gwen finally said, looking up from her phone.

 

"I put some down on Falcon, of course," Rey responded, grateful not to be alone with her thoughts. Her mind kept wandering back to Ben, despite her efforts to stay focused on Poe and the race. "Not much, because I don't have much money to lose, but Millennial Falcon has pretty good odds, they say."

 

Gwen squinted at her track sheet. "Not nearly as high as this 'Tie Silencer' horse. Don't tell Poe, but I think I'm going to put down some money on him. And maybe a little on the underdog, 'A New Hope.' I always feel sorry for the horse in last place."

 

"I thought for sure you'd just go with a sure thing," Rey commented. "Nobody bets on 'A New Hope,' Poe told me. When people rank their favorites, that one is always last. Well, with the exception of 'Prequel.' People's betting strategies are a bit of a mystery, though. Sometimes people just bet on the name."

 

"Hmm, if that is Tie Silencer, I would say it's more than just the name," Gwen commented as a handsome black thoroughbred was led out to the field, the groom leading him in red and grey silks. He was easily several hands higher than most horses on the field and rippling with muscle, his black coat gleaming.

 

"Well, the Falcon may not be the odds-on favorite, but he's the horse Poe's attached to, so it gets my five bucks."

 

"Wow, that's a whole lot of confidence. I think the concession stand costs more than your bet. Which reminds me, I need a hot dog or something," Gwen said, stretching. 

 

"Want anything? I'm starving. I could get you a beer."

 

"Nah, I'm good, thanks," said Rey, the mention of alcohol making her feel queasy. She moved aside and let her roommate get past her, pulling out her own phone to check to see if she'd had any texts from Poe. Nothing. Her mind drifted back to her last session with Ben. She looked around the stands to see if she could spot him and Hux, but couldn't see them. She felt partially relieved that there was no sign of either of them. Maybe for one evening, she wouldn't have to think about the charismatic hypnotist.

 

She couldn't believe how much she'd confided in him, but she felt curiously lighter and less burdened since she'd shared some of her secrets. He hadn't seemed horrified, and he hadn't judged her. There was something about him that just made her feel safe. She had the strange sensation whenever she was around him that she'd known him for much longer and that they'd had similar intimate conversations. It was crazy, but there was something so familiar about him.

 

Rey wasn't comfortable with many people and usually was very guarded, even around her friends. A lifetime of foster care had left her with a sense of longing to belong, but being afraid of letting anyone get too close for fear of losing them. Part of what she liked about Poe was he was so wrapped up in his training, he didn't seem to care if she didn't tell him her life story. He liked having her support him and listen to his racing stories, and he didn't ask for that deeper part of her that she was reluctant to give.

 

A tap on her shoulder interrupted her musing. Gwen had returned bearing snacks.

 

"Hey, you'll never guess who I ran into at the snack bar. Your hypnotist guy, Dr. Hottie, who dropped off your sunglasses that night. He recognized me and told me to come get you. We're moving to the swanky seats! He and his buddies have box seats and said there is plenty of room for us, so let's go!"

 

Rey remembered Hux stopping by yesterday at the end of her therapy session and making a comment about seeing them there.  _ Great. _

 

Unable to think of a logical reason to refuse, she followed Gwen up the bleachers and over to a glass enclosure that was at just the right height and gave a spectacular view of the starting gate. Upon entering the private area, Gwen announced to the guard stationed there that they were with Dr. Solo and the Huxleys. A uniformed attendant beckoned for them to follow.

 

Rey gasped at the luxury of the suite. The climate-controlled setting was cool and well ventilated. It was like stepping into a country club. Instead of bleachers, there were tiered decks with tables and swivel chairs so that it was possible to observe the race and hold a conversation. Binoculars were at each table, although high flat screens in the corners of the room provided angles of all sections of the race track and the commentators’ normal blaring voices were muted somewhat with closed captions on the screens in case anyone was following along.  This setting was more champagne and caviar than hot dogs and beer. Most of the people in the suite obviously had money as evidenced by their simple but well-tailored clothing. 

 

"Rey!"

 

A young woman from one of the tables up front had broken away and approached them. It took Rey a second to recognize Connix because her face was painted half white and half orange to go with her orange shirt and tight jeans cutoffs that set off her superb figure. Her fluorescent orange and white fingernails dug into Rey's arm as she grinned with excitement.

 

"Ben sent me to make sure you found us. We're up front. It's the Huxleys, the doc, and me right now, but there are plenty of seats. Rey, did you see Poe earlier? I need to get his autograph after the race. Do you think you could make that happen?" Her youthful face looked eager, and Rey felt a pang for a moment that she couldn't get as enthused as Connix was about her own boyfriend.

 

"Sure, I think so," Rey murmured. "Connix, this is Gwen."

 

"Cool," Connix said, already leading them toward their tables. "Now ladies, there's just one thing. When you see her, whatever you do,  _ don't stare." _

 

"At who?" Rey asked with confusion, having difficulty imagining anyone in this sedate crowd was going to top Connix for flamboyant attire.

 

"Mrs.  Huxley, of course," Connix said in a hushed tone.

 

"What? Why? Which one is she?" interjected Gwen curiously.

 

"Oh, believe me,  _ you'll know _ ," Connix giggled.

 

Rey had difficulty thinking anyone or anything could distract her from Ben, but right now she welcomed it. "Got it," she replied quietly, following Connix to the two tables pushed closely together.  Ben was at one end, long legs stretched out in front of him in his usual black attire, although he was wearing black jeans with black cowboy boots underneath them. He was peering out at the race track looking bored. At the other end, Hux had his arm around a woman whose head was resting on his shoulder. From the backs of their seats, Rey glimpsed her sleek auburn hair swept up into a chignon and long, elegant nails she was drumming on the tabletop.

 

"Ahem," Connix cleared her throat. "Look what the cat dragged in! I've brought Rey and her bestie, Wendy."

 

_ "Gwen," _  snapped the tall blonde.

 

All chairs swiveled to look at the newcomers, and Rey felt her face flush at the attention, particularly Ben's. They were standing closest to the Huxleys, and Hux immediately stood and gave a little bow to Rey and Gwen.

 

"Ladies, so glad you could join us! Please call me Hux," he indicated to Gwen, shaking her hand firmly and then stepping back to indicate the woman next to him. "My wife, and of course you know Ben. "

 

Rey watched in fascination as the red-haired woman stood in one fluid movement, taking a moment to stretch luxuriously before turning slanted green eyes at them. Her tailored outfit was as elegant and sleek as her hair. Almost lazily she offered her hand to Gwen and Rey, taking in their casual garb quizzically.

 

Rey squirmed as the woman edged closer to her, seeming to sniff the air as if to test for what perfume they might be wearing. Her personal space boundaries were about as loose as her husband's, she thought wryly.

 

"Nice to meet you...Mrs. Huxley," she said since the woman hadn't given her name.

 

"Please, dear, call me- Oooh, what's this?"

 

Rey swallowed nervously as the woman's hand started fingering the long orange and silver Mardi Gras beads she'd thrown on at the last minute in an attempt to be spirited. 

 

Mrs. Huxley was regarding them in mute fascination, giving them a bit of a tug and then rubbing them between her fingertips.

 

Hux hastened to his wife's side and put an arm around her. "My dear, let's let the girls get settled before the race starts. Rey, do take the seat by us so we can get acquainted."

 

Rey felt the beginnings of a panic attack start as the woman retracted her fingernails and  slipped back into her seat and Hux pulled out the chair beside his wife out for her, when a deeper male voice said with authority, "Sorry, but Rey promised me she'd keep me company and explain the race to me, didn't you?"

 

"Yes!" Rey exclaimed a little too quickly, moving toward the seat next to Ben in haste.

 

"But we're all seated so close together, I'm sure it won't be a problem," she smiled at Hux and his wife.

 

_ Fuck you _ , mouthed Gwen at her as Rey darted past her. Gwen reluctantly sat down next to Hux’s wife. Behind them, Connix giggled and then took the seat on the end and grabbed her binoculars to check the horses.

 

"Ladies, may we get you anything?" Ben offered, motioning for an attendant to come closer. Gwen traded in her beer for champagne immediately, and Rey declined again, not as enticed by the bubbly as she normally was.

 

"I'll just have water or a Coke or something," she said. Glancing at the white liquid in a martini glass Mrs. Huxley was drinking, she wondered if the rest were having mixed drinks. Ben had stuck to soda, she noticed. "What are you drinking, Mrs. Huxley?"

 

Rey felt her face redden with embarrassment as the woman ignored her question. Mrs. Huxley had picked up Gwen's purse and was holding it up in front of her, sniffing it as if to assess if it were real leather or not. Not content to use her olfactory senses apparently, she held the clutch to her cheek and rubbed it against her face, as if assessing the texture while Gwen looked on in horror.

 

"Milk. She's drinking milk," Hux said loudly, patting his wife's arm affectionately.

 

"Oooooh," Rey said, turning to Ben in a low voice to ask, "So...are they expecting?"

 

At the other end of the table, Connix, having read Rey's lips, was having another one of her coughing attacks and seemed suspiciously trying to hide a laugh.

 

"Er, no," Ben said in a hushed voice, leaning in close to Rey, who felt her face flushing even more at his proximity. "She just likes milk. "

 

"Dairy's good, but I'll stick with the bubbly," quipped Gwen. "Are we having any nibbles? I could handle some onion rings or something."

 

"Darling," Mrs. Huxley sweetly cajoled her husband in a pout. "There's no tuna fish on the menu."

 

"Sorry, Precious, would my Diddums like a chicken sandwich instead?"

 

"Tuna,  _ now, now, now! _ " she whined, batting his hand away from her arm in protest at not getting her way.

 

"No problem, my sweet," Hux said soothingly, anxious to appease her. "Waiter!" he gestured imperiously. "Go to the kitchen and make my wife a tuna fish sandwich, please, and be quick."

 

_ "Now," _ Mrs. Huxley added.

 

Panic attack forgotten, Rey stared in fascination at the spitfire at Hux's side. She turned back to look at Ben, who was frowning at the doubled-over Connix, who rolled her eyes at him but seemed to understand. She sat up and dug in her purse, came up with an object and tossed it on the table in front of the Huxleys.

 

"Hey Mrs. H, did I show you what I got for the doc's office? They're called fidget spinners," she said, giving it a push and making the toy spin and change colors.

 

Mrs. Huxley gave it a fascinated push with her fingertip. Tiring of it quickly, she spied Connix's shot glass perched at the edge of the table and sent it crashing to the floor with a bored swipe of her hand.

 

"Well, I think it's a good time to break for the Ladies Room before the race starts," Gwen said brightly, standing up, clearly eager to leave the table.

 

"Yup," coughed Connix, standing to join her.

 

The two girls were off in a flash, leaving the Huxleys to fawn over each other in their own little world and Ben and Rey sitting in silence. Rey turned back to Ben, panic subsiding, and whispered so only he could hear her.

 

"I don't think I've ever met anyone quite like her," she said, giving him a quick smile. "Is he really happy with her?"

 

"Trust me; he adores her. They're true soulmates," he added, looking into Rey's eyes as he said it. "If you believe in that sort of thing. What do you think?"

 

Blushing again, Rey sought to change the subject. "Does she have a name besides 'Mrs. Huxley?'" she asked curiously.

 

"Hux didn't introduce you? Figures. What an oaf. He prides himself on his manners, but when it comes to her, he's a school kid. " Ben shook his head in exasperation.

 

"Her name is Millicent."

* * *

 

 

Not long after everyone was seated again, the announcer's voice came over the speakers that the horses were lined up at the starting gate. An impressive array of thoroughbreds were competing with the underdog Millennial Falcon being a crowd favorite, but the impressive Tie Silencer also drawing attention. The crowd in the boxed enclosure grew quiet as the starting gun sounded and the voice blared over the speaker, "And....they're off!"

 

Rey picked up the binoculars provided at the table and searched for Poe. It was almost easier to follow the big screen TV and listen to the announcer.  The length of the race was 1.8 miles, testing the horses for both speed and stamina.

 

The announcer's voice blared again. "And A New Hope is running in the lead on the inside! In the middle of the pack, Tie Silencer is neck and neck to the right of Millennial Falcon. Prequel is on Falcon's left, effectively boxing in Falcon. Jabba's Joy is pulling ahead of the pack behind A New Hope. The horses are rounding the corner and _still_ Tie Silencer is holding back, keeping Millennial Falcon firmly boxed in between Tie Silencer and Prequel. Prequel is tiring, but Jabba  is straight ahead of him. Dameron cannot catch a break in this race!"

 

Rey clutched the table edges, wondering how Poe would handle it if he lost. A selfish part of her was glad it would mean he wouldn't have to travel to Kentucky and train there for the Kentucky Derby, but at the same time, she just wasn't sure how she felt about their relationship. Poe didn't stir any of the complicated feelings she felt when she was around Ben. He felt safer and more predictable. But for his sake, she hoped he would win.

 

"The horses have rounded the second curve and are heading into the homestretch! What an exciting race, Ladies and Gentleman! Woah, Tie Silencer has finally broken away! He's catching up to Jabba's Joy and passing him...he's neck and neck with A New Hope! Millennial Falcon doesn't have time to make up the distance...and the winner is Tie Silencer by a length, followed by A New Hope, Jabba's Joy, and shockingly Prequel in fourth place. Aaaaaaaaand Tie Silencer will be heading to the Kentucky Derby in May to compete for horse racing’s coveted Triple Crown!”

 

The rest of the announcer's spiel was drowned out by the excited shouting in the enclosure. Ben leaned back thoughtfully, and Rey trained her binoculars on Poe, feeling stricken that he hadn't even placed. Connix looked woefully at the field, and Millicent awoke from the catnap she'd taken with her head on her husband's shoulder.

 

"Tough break for your boyfriend, Rey. On the bright side, I think I won some money on my bets. I'm going to go collect!" Gwen stood and stretched, finished her champagne and went to the back of the room to collect her winnings.

 

Across the table, Hux locked eyes with Ben who gave him a half smile. It was quickly gone, and he placed a hand solicitously on Rey's arm. "Are you okay?" he asked gently.

 

Rey started at his touch, feeling the warmth of his fingers against her bare skin.  "Yeah, thanks. I'm just sad for Poe. He's going to be so upset. I wish I could go down and see him, but only the owners and trainers are allowed on the field, and I know he'll want some space."

 

"Do you want me to walk you to your car then?"

 

She blushed. "I came with Gwen in her car, so I'll just ride back with her, but thanks."

 

The tall blonde slid into her seat as Rey finished speaking. "Actually, Rey, would you mind if he took you home? I think I may go spend my winnings at the Mall before my shift starts tonight, and I won't have time if we go back to the house. I'll go straight to the hospital after I shop, so do you mind, Ben? You can ride in that awesome McLaren of his, Rey."

 

"Not at all. That settles it," Ben grinned, seeming to relish her discomfiture at the situation. "Although, I'm sure the Huxleys wouldn't mind seeing you home, either."

 

Rey narrowed her eyes at him.  He knew she wouldn't pick  _ that _ choice. Millicent was now draped over her husband's lap, and he was stroking her hair lovingly as she laid against his shoulder and practically purred in pleasure.

 

"Fine," she exhaled in exasperation.

 

"Fine," he said, a speculative gleam in his eyes.

 

* * *

 

"Ben, this is not a car," Rey stated.

 

"Did anyone ever tell you that you have a keen grasp of the obvious, Ms. Lumen?" he smirked.

 

_ Smug son of a gun. _

 

"It's a  _ motorcycle _ . I can't ride that!" she protested.

 

"It's a Harley. Most people like them. They're very comfortable," he assured her, "and I have an extra helmet for you."

 

Rey scowled. "Did you  _ plan _ this, then?"

 

"How could I possibly?" he protested. "I just always carry another helmet in case I have a passenger," he said innocently, donning black leather gloves for the ride.

 

Rey looked at it doubtfully. "Is it safe? I've never been on a motorcycle. I don't even know how to drive one."

 

"Yes, it's quite safe, and I'm driving, so all you have to do is hold onto my waist tight and enjoy the ride," he grinned.

 

Rey didn't know why, but her body tingled at the way he said that. "Fine, let's go then." She let him help her with the helmet, tightening the chin strap. Apprehensively, she climbed on behind him and hesitantly placed her hands at the sides of his waist. She felt him take her hands and pull them around his torso until she clasped them together.

 

"Hold tight," he said, and with that, he revved the engine. Rey felt the vibration go through her body and gave a small shriek as they started moving, grasping his waist with all her strength, pressing her helmeted head against his broad back.

 

Soon, they hit the open road, and she began to enjoy it as the vibrations made her core ache most pleasantly and the breeze whipped against her skin. She felt alive. She wished he would go faster. She felt like she'd ridden something similar before, but it wasn't a motorcycle.   _ Odd, _ she thought. Twilight had come and gone, and a full moon was rising, casting an orange glow in the sky. It was a beautiful night. Rey snuggled into the soft cotton of his shirt. Eventually, she felt the Harley slow and come to a stop. She looked up and noticed they weren't at her house.

 

It was a "lookout" point with a beautiful view of the moon and a twinkling view of the city below. A place where couples might go to make out, she thought. He dismounted and then his large hands picked her up easily and swung her to the side, helping her take off the helmet. He took off his own and shook out his hair.  _ Not fair, he still looks like he's in a shampoo commercial.  _ She looked at him nervously, wondering why they'd stopped.

 

"It's such a gorgeous night, and I thought you could use a little cheering up before going home," he said. "Want to watch the moon rise? Or I can take you home - your choice."

 

Her heart hammering in her chest, she tried to adopt an air of nonchalance. "Sure, why not?" 

 

Her voice was a little higher than she'd meant it to be. With his black leonine mane of hair and his towering fit body, he looked even more impressive in the moonlight, like some kind of beautiful but dangerous animal. _ If this were a horror movie, he'd turn into a werewolf right now. _

 

_ Which do you fear more, a werewolf or me? _

 

Rey inhaled sharply. She must have imagined his response in her head. He was staring at her so intently though; it was as though he'd read her thoughts.  _ Impossible. _

 

_ Is it? _

 

He extended a gloved hand to her. "Join me?"

 

Rey looked at his hand. She was having that sense of déjà vu again. But it made no sense. She decided it was just the full moon and the long day and shrugged and hesitantly reached out her hand. She saw him swallow nervously before she finally placed it in his. Her fingers were pressed against the cool leather as he gently closed his hand around hers.

 

He turned around and led her to the overlook point, where they stood and gazed at the rising moon in all its glory. He kept her hand in his, and for a long while they didn't speak or look at each other. Rey felt as though an electric current was racing through her veins, stemming from the point where her hand connected to his. A slight breeze rustled the leaves of the trees around them, and Rey shivered.

 

Ben broke contact with her hand and slid his arm across her shoulders, pulling her closer to him as if to warm her. Rey's heart thudded at the contact and the forbidden pleasure of just being held closer to him. A sigh escaped her lips as she felt his broad hand caressing her spine. Firefly bugs blinked on and off around them, giving off the illusion of falling embers. She felt him shift and turned to face him.

 

_ Why do I feel like we've done this before? _

 

At the moment his eyes met hers, she felt something respond deep in her soul. He edged closer to her, one hand on her shoulder and the other slowly rising to touch her cheek, caressing it through the well-worn leather. Her senses were a jumble of confusion, an aching, demanding  _ need _ for him. He tilted her face toward his, and her eyes traveled to his lips, full and slightly parted. His arm slid around her back, and he bent down so that his lips were within a mere inch from hers. Rey's arms slid around his neck as if of their own volition.

 

_ I can't do this. I need to get back to Poe... _

 

She felt Ben's grip tighten around her back and her spine arched backward as he closed the gap between them and his lips hungrily met hers. It was as if every nerve in her body came alive, tingling with pleasure and a feeling she couldn't define. All thoughts of Poe were blotted out as he continued his exploration of her lips and her mouth. She had kissed other men but never had she felt like  _ this. _ His lips traveled to her ear, nibbling at her earlobe and his hot breath on the shell of her inner ear causing her to shudder with pleasure. She arched her neck and felt him gently kissing her throat.

 

She felt cold suddenly as his kisses stopped, and she opened her eyes again as one hand twined in her hair and tugged, forcing her to meet his eyes. There was an insistence in them and an intensity to his expression.

 

"Say it, Rey. Say it."

 

Her vision swam for a moment as she focused on him, not sure what he meant.

 

"What do you want, Rey? Say it," he repeated.

 

She tried to bring her lips up to his, but he held her firmly away.

 

"You," she finally blurted, relieved and ashamed all at once to say it.

 

He dropped his hands from her face and held her palm to his cheek for a moment in a lover-like gesture. Then he moved her hand to his lips and turned her hand over, kissing her palm gently. The wrap Rey had been wearing had fallen to the ground in the intensity of their embrace, and as his lips travelled to her bare wrist, she snatched it back suddenly, holding it to her chest.  

 

Ben frowned. "Did I hurt you?" he asked with concern.

 

Rey dropped her head, not able to meet his eyes. "No, it's not that. I just - I should be getting back home. Poe is going to be dropping by..." her voice trailed off.

 

Ben put out his arms and gently gathered her against his chest. "What are you going to tell him?" he murmured into her hair.

 

"That it's over," she whispered. "I shouldn't have come here with you and did this first. I'm not the kind of person who cheats," she said guiltily.

 

"I know you aren't," Ben said ernestly, releasing her and making eye contact with her again. "I shouldn't have pressed you tonight. I'll take you home."

 

* * *

The lights were dimmed when they reached the house Rey shared with Gwen. Rey remembered Gwen had said she was going on to the hospital for her shift after the race. Ben had helped her off the bike and kissed her on the cheek before leaving, and after freshening up in the bathroom, she wandered out into the backyard by the pool to check her phone and see if Poe was ready to talk.

 

"Coming by at 9:00," his text said.

 

Rey looked at her watch nervously. It was a little past that now. She hadn't thought out what to say to him. To end things on one of the worst days of his career was going to be so cruel. Yet, she knew to pretend there was anything between them any longer was just a betrayal of both him and herself.

 

There was a rap at the side gate, and she heard it squeak as he opened it. Poe walked onto the dimly lit patio, sitting down on a chaise next to Rey.

 

"I figured you'd be here," he said, his handsome face looking drawn and tired.

 

"Poe, I'm so sorry about today," she said, taking his hand.

 

"Rey, I've got to talk to you about something, and it's going to be difficult, so please hear me out, okay?" He kept his head down as if he didn't want to have this conversation with her.

 

"Okay," she said, a lump in her throat. Had he somehow found out about her and Ben kissing? But how?

 

"Rey, I know we haven't seen each other for very long, but you've been special to me all the same. I want you to know you're a terrific girl. I know you aren't into horses, but you've tried to be there for me, and I appreciate it. "

 

He squeezed her hand. "Today was disappointing, as you know. I got blocked in by that asshole and never got out of the pack in time to recover. Millennial Falcon didn't have a chance. And now there's no chance Falcon can qualify for the Kentucky Derby. But even if he had, Tie Silencer would have won. That horse is phenomenal. After I finished drying him off and rubbing him down at the stables, I got a chance to talk to Tie Fighter's owner. Turns out the owner, Mr. Mitaka, doesn't like the jockey they have for Tie Silencer, mainly because he pulls dick moves like that when he doesn't have to, and that could make the horse unpopular with the crowds. So, long story short, he asked  _ me _ to be the new jockey for Tie Silencer. "

 

He paused, and Rey beamed at him. "Oh Poe, that sounds like wonderful news! Are you going to take him up on it?"

 

"I have to, Rey. More than that, I  _ want _ to. I could make a name for myself with this horse. Tie Silencer has what it takes to be the next Triple Crown winner. People are comparing him to American Pharoah - the horse who won the Triple Crown and the Breeders' Cup Classic in 2015, which made him the first thoroughbred to win the Grand Slam of Thoroughbred racing! But, it means I'll be moving to Kentucky where he's stabled to work with him and get him ready. And more traveling after that."

 

"Oh," Rey said, sensing this was goodbye.

 

"I'd ask you to consider coming with me, but...I'd just be doing it for selfish reasons, and I know you aren't that into the sport. And things with us, well..."

 

"You're right, Poe. Things haven't been clicking with us, and I don't think it's your fault or mine. Sometimes people just aren't meant to be together long-term," she said gently.

 

He smiled at her wistfully, the moonlight making his rugged good looks even more handsome than normal. "What we had wasn't bad, though."

 

She smiled at him. "No, it wasn't. You're a good man, Poe Dameron, and I'm lucky I had you as a boyfriend. I want you to be happy, even if I'll miss you." She bent to kiss his cheek and noticed there was something orange, like greasepaint, on his face.

 

"What's this?" she asked, smearing the orange paint onto her finger and showing him.

 

"Oh," he flushed guiltily, "some girl with crazy orange and white face paint came up to me for an autograph at the stables and hugged me and kissed me. She's so into horseracing and wanted to know all about me and Millennial Falcon. She must have got some on my face."

 

"Mmmhmmm," Rey said thoughtfully. "I think I might know her. Connix?"

 

Poe looked at her in surprise. "Kate Connix, yeah. You know her?"

 

Rey smiled. "She was sitting near me today. Very enthusiastic about you. You should get her number."

 

Poe turned beet red. "She, uh, already programmed it into my phone."

 

Rey laughed, and they hugged goodbye.

 

* * *

Ben had just drifted off to sleep when his cell phone rang. Reaching out his hand, he reluctantly answered.

 

"What couldn't wait until morning, Hux?"

 

He listened to the infuriating man's questions.

 

"Yes, Dameron agreed to be the jockey for Tie Silencer and Mitaka is under orders to make sure he relocates right away. Sorry it wasn't a gory enough plan for your taste. No, the girl isn't going with him...because I  _ know. _ No, you do not get to go near her again until I say. She's not ‘awake,’ and she's no good to you until she is, so lay off...How dare you; that's  _ my _ business!" 

 

He ended the call and resisted the urge to slam down the phone and break it again.

 

For a long time he lay awake, thinking about the conundrum he faced. He'd read Reychelle's thoughts easily that evening. She had flashes of Rey's memories, but  _ Reychelle _ was falling in love with him. Had Rey? He'd thought for a moment in the past she had been on the verge of joining him when he offered her everything that was his to give. Of all the people in his life who had used him and pushed him away, she had hurt him the most. He'd laid his soul bare to her, and she had rejected him. She'd reached for her lightsaber instead of his hand. Reychelle had chosen him over the pilot. Reychelle could love him. But Rey...

 

_ Rey had murdered him. _

 

_ Let the past die...kill it, if you have to.  _ And if it came back again in another lifetime, what did one do, kill it before it killed you again?

 

Ben fell back into a troubled sleep.

* * *

 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this was one of the most difficult chapters to write and one of the longest! I hope it was okay for everyone! Once again, huge thanks to [ StarHorse7 ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarHorse7/pseuds/StarHorse7) /[ @starhorse ](https://star-horse.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr for her skills as a writer in horse races and overall knowledge of how the scene needed to look in this chapter. She basically told me how to write the race so it would be believable, plus other invaluable tips and corrections on racing. 
> 
> I'm curious to hear your thoughts about "Mrs. Huxley!" Did anyone guess? I haven't seen any guesses in the comments before this, but I knew if anyone was Hux's soulmate, it would be her. The fun part was trying to figure out her mannerisms, which I did by watching my cats this week, and that's all stuff they do. The "now, now, now" translates to "meow, meow, meow," which is what my two cats do when they are hungry!
> 
> I know I'll get questions about Ben's last lines, so I'll go ahead and answer here: Yes, he believes that Rey murdered him in a past life. I stress, "he believes," and we don't know yet how he got this information, so treat him as an unreliable narrator in this instance. But there's Ben's motive for revenge - Rey's rejection of him in their past life and his belief that she killed him. Except...he certainly seems conflicted about this revenge now that the pieces are falling into place, doesn't he?
> 
> More will be revealed in the next chapter. Thank you for your patience with these updates. I'm doing my best, but work and real life certainly put a damper on writing! A big shoutout also to the ladies of thereylowritingden for their support and just the numerous people who encouraged me to keep going this week. 
> 
> Comments and kudos always appreciated! Your feedback is always so helpful in knowing how this is coming across and how you react to it! Thank you to everyone who is reading and leaving such awesome comments! I have the most intelligent readers in the Archive - your speculations and intuition are just fantastic!
> 
> If you're a playlist person, here are some of the songs I am listening to while writing. [ The Hypnotist Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/user/catness1969/playlist/141YsStWY3Ue6AdGUWCxbQ?si=EFx2xBucQH6_i_Kae-ak0A) *In no particular order. 
> 
> ~Pandora [ @pandoraspocksao3 ](https://pandoraspocksao3.tumblr.com/)
> 
> I'm also on Twitter at [ @Pandora_SpocksAO3 ](https://twitter.com/Pandoraspocksa1/).
> 
> Come say hi!


	10. Deja Vu All Over Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey leaves town without telling anyone where she is going with Hux and Ben in pursuit.
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/51212640@N04/44410576442/in/dateposted-public/)

* * *

The first day after the race, Ben had sent Rey a beautiful floral bouquet with a note suggesting they have dinner that evening. Rey found her eating disorder rearing its ugly head and was consumed with panic at the idea of eating in front of him. She was averse to eating in front of people anyway, but in front of _Ben_...well, she just couldn't. So she texted him back that she wasn't feeling well and avoided him.

 

On the second day after the race, Ben called her and left her a message asking if he could bring her by some chicken noodle soup to make her feel better. Rey had texted back quickly that she was contagious, to which he had replied he'd risk it. Rey then texted him she just wanted to sleep and thanked him.

 

At the end of that week, Ben had again left her a message on her phone, along with a bouquet of daisies delivered to her door with a card stating he hoped she was feeling better and was looking forward to seeing her soon.

 

It wasn't that Rey didn't _want_ to see him, but her attraction to him and her feelings about intimacy were at war with each other, and as a result she had barely eaten all week. She felt her body weakening, and even Gwen commented whatever diet she was doing was making her look like hammered shit.

 

She was curled up with BeeBee on her bed when she got a text from Ben, asking her why she hadn't called him and asking if he'd offended her in some way. He said he wanted very much to talk to her and see her, suggesting he drop by the following night.

 

It was then that Rey started packing a bag, realizing she couldn't face him in her current state. Ben wasn't her therapist, aside from helping her recall her dreams, and she didn't want him to be. She wasn't ready for what he might ask of her, emotionally or romantically. Mostly, she was afraid he would abandon her the way every other important figure in her life seemed to do. She needed time and space to think.

 

She picked up the brochure in a nearby state that offered training in mixed martial arts and stuck it in her purse. She scribbled a note to Gwen, leaving a check for the rest of summer's rent, using up part of her savings, and asking her to please feed BeeBee. Then she slipped a letter into the mailbox for Ben, care of the clinic.

 

And then Rey slipped into her beat-up Honda and drove off into the night.

 

* * *

 

_Three months later_

Hux stormed into Ben's office, his pale face beet red with rage.

 

"Ren, where is that _bloody_ girl? Are you doing anything to even- **_Wake up!"_**

 

Ben opened his eyes begrudgingly from his reclining couch. He hadn't scheduled any clients for the day and had given Connix the day off, hoping to get some shut-eye undisturbed. Alas, it was not to be. He shook his mussed hair into place and scowled at the intruder.

 

"What is the meaning of this, Aldous?"

 

"Oh, I don't know. That scavenger trash is once again the crux of whether we succeed or fail, and she's gone missing for _three whole months_ and my CIA team has been unable to locate her; meanwhile, you don't seem to have made the slightest effort to find her, and I just found you _napping_ in your office!" Hux exclaimed irately.

 

"Calm down. She's going to return soon. She needed some time away to get her head sorted," Ben said to Hux with more confidence than he was feeling. It was certainly true that _he_ needed time to sort out what was happening with _his_ feelings.

 

"If she is not back here in a week, I'm sending in military forces to arrest her and bring her in. I've got satellites and drones searching for her, Ren, so it's only a matter of time," Hux threatened.

 

"Arrest her for...what, exactly?" Ben smirked. He wasn't happy that Rey was gone, but he also wasn't eager to have her memories return. Perhaps the time away would let Reychelle just stay herself without any past life memories surfacing. He might be able to have a future with her. One in which she wasn't intent on attacking him or murdering him.

 

"I'll make up something," Hux snapped. "You have no idea how much money our current administration has put into our experimentation and intel gathering on parapsychology and those who have such abilities. And if I do that, Ren, I'll take her to a secret military base and dispense with you altogether. I'd prefer to work with you on this, but if you're just going to sit there and do nothing, you know very well I've got the authority and the backing to bring her in once I find her."

 

Ben stood up slowly, straightening his spine to his full height and taking a few steps forward so he could tower over the smaller man in an attempt to intimidate him.

 

"And _I've_ got the wealth and means to get her out of the country if you're going to order me around. But we both know you don't _really_ want to push me on this," Ben said, concentrating hard on the other man and achieving pushing him back about a foot with his mind. Hux gasped. Ben's telekinesis powers were limited, but Hux didn't know the full extent or limitations of his abilities.

 

Hux slumped against Ben's desk. "So, what's your plan?" he asked begrudgingly.

 

Ben relaxed a bit at the conciliatory note in Hux's voice.

 

"I've known where she is for some time now," Ben improvised. It was partially true. His mental ability at remote viewing was not as strong as he wished, but he'd seen enough surroundings from meditating that he had a good idea, and it fit with what he knew about her few connections and interests. Still, he didn't want Hux to know he was as good at using psychic abilities as Rey's potential might be. He had deliberately done poorly on Hux's tests so that he wouldn't be a target to be "acquired" by the CIA.

 

"I'll pay her a visit this week, but you must allow me time to get close to her on her terms, Hux. It will be better if she is cooperative." He hoped he could buy time with this approach.

 

"I can't promise you that. If I find her first, I'm bringing her back. I have people I report to, and they are expecting a report on the girl soon."

 

* * *

 

Rey landed a swift kick to the man attacking her, aiming for the kneecaps. As he swung at her, she ducked and rolled out of the way, quickly springing to her feet. The man advanced and tried to sweep her legs out from under her. Rey jumped, twisting sideways and using the sharp edge of her elbow to jab him. The man grunted and managed to grab her arm. Rey assessed that stomping on his booted foot would not loosen his hold, so with her other arm, she jabbed with all her might at his eyes. The man let her go, and with a quick spin and kick, Rey landed a kick to the stomach that knocked him off his feet. Breathing hard but feeling triumphant, she put her hands upon her knees and stared at him.

 

"Very good, Rey," her instructor complimented her.

 

"Did I hurt you?" Rey asked anxiously.

 

The man laughed. "If I wasn't wearing all this padding and goggles, I think I might be heading for the hospital right now. Well, difficult to tell, but you've made great progress since starting here, young lady."

 

Rey beamed with pride and offered the older gentleman a hand to get to his feet. Three months ago when she had arrived, her body weakened from not eating well and her reflexes rusty from not practicing any martial arts moves since her younger days in foster care, she could barely defend herself. The class was run by a small group of instructors from various martial arts disciplines whose basic focus was self-defense, overall body conditioning, and positive thinking.

 

The last one sounded like an easy task, but with Rey's upbringing and tendency toward self-denigration, it was actually the hardest. Interrupting negative thought patterns was a task that required mindfulness and willpower. It was very easy to fall into a negative mindset or depression, but with the aid of post-its taped everywhere in her room, surrounding her in workout area, and reaffirmations from the handful of trainees taking the course, Rey was improving.

 

Her instructors had explained they would not be addressing her eating disorder directly and that it was entirely her choice and hers alone if she took their advice or not. However, if she fell under a certain weight, she would not be allowed to participate until she had regained it, and the dietician had worked with Rey to find foods she found acceptable and made several simple menus Rey could put together herself and plan ahead. She liked this method because planning ahead took the "choice" out of it, and she could simply stick to her diet and not worry about calories because it was preplanned.

 

As a result, Rey found that with balanced nutrition she could think more clearly and her moods stabilized. Surrounded by others who prized muscular builds over thin ones, she felt pride as her lean muscle mass increased and her arms became toned and defined from her workouts. She still found she had moments of self-doubt and days when she didn't want to eat, but she forced herself to stick to the regimen as religiously as brushing her teeth and taking care of her hygiene needs.

 

She'd come a long way in just three months. She missed BeeBee and especially Ben, but she didn't want to return until she felt more prepared for a relationship.

 

She thought of Ben often. From the moment they had met, there had been a curious chemistry between the two of them. She had felt it, and thought he had too. Even before he had kissed her the first time, she had a strange feeling they had done it before. When she looked into his eyes, it was as if they knew her. She remembered those eyes from somewhere before they'd met, but given their backgrounds, she couldn't imagine that their paths would have crossed. At first, it had felt unnerving, but gradually it felt comforting, as if she was being fully _seen_ for the first time in her life and accepted for who she was.

 

She missed him. Several times she had wanted to call him or text, but she had left him a letter explaining why she had to leave and why she didn't want to contact him until she had gotten her head together first. She didn't want him to be her therapist. She was curious about perhaps doing another EMDR session for his research, but after that, she wanted to see him on a strictly social basis. She didn't want to be one of those girls who was "taken care of" by her boyfriend. She felt considerably stronger now, both in mind and body.

 

She peeled off her training clothes from that morning and took a hot shower, deciding she would treat herself to a hike in the woods nearby on a trail she hadn't explored yet. She made sure she had plenty of water and protein bars in her backpack, along with a compass and assorted hiking gear, and got into her ancient Honda and set off for the entry point to the trails. She found it easily, parked her car, and set off on the unexplored trail. She enjoyed the way her muscles carried her easily for several hours into her hike.

 

Rey enjoyed the sounds of nature as she set a decent pace along the trail. The woods had darkened, and she glanced at the map she was carrying to decide which way to turn to reach the waterfall. A branch snapped about a yard behind her, and she turned around. She couldn't spot anyone, but she was certain she'd heard a sound.

 

"Hello?" she called out, hoping it was one of her fellow students. They were a small group and acquainted with one another, so she was sure she would recognize one of her group. The remote location was rarely traversed by tourists. There was no response to her call. Rey listened for a few minutes and then resumed her hike, but she kept her senses aware of any other people in the area. A fellow hiker would have at least responded, but someone keeping silent might wish to do her harm.

 

Rey saw a small curve up ahead and instinctively quickened her pace, swerving and climbing up it to a higher level of the trail. She heard definite footsteps below on the trail she had just left and saw a tall man in a black hoodie and jeans hurrying along the path she had trod and caught her breath as he turned the curve she had taken. He was definitely pursuing her.

 

Rey scampered off the path into the brush, spying a tree in some dense underbrush. With agility, she scurried up the tree to a low hanging branch and hoped she had lost him. Meanwhile, she fumbled in her pack.

 

She heard a few muffled oaths and heard the sounds of the brush being pushed aside as he sought to follow her. There could be no doubt he was trailing her if he left the path, she thought. Three months ago, the situation would have filled her with panic. The prey versus the predator. Now, it was predator versus predator.

 

As he passed underneath the tree limb she was sitting upon, Rey steadied herself and then leaped on top of him, knocking him to the ground. They rolled over and over from the impact and stopped with Rey on top of him. The man's black knit hat had been pulled down over his face by the force of her attack, and Rey wasted no time holding the taser she carried in her backpack to his throat and hissing, "Don't move unless you want me to fire this taser. I assure you, it will hurt."

 

"You're playing...a dangerous game," he rasped.

 

She hesitated a fraction too long in firing the taser and arms of steel were suddenly around her in a vise-like grip, and he rolled the other way, knocking the taser from her hand and pinning her beneath him.

 

Straddling her chest to pin her arms and keep her still, the man let go of her right arm to pull back his hat. Rey twisted beneath him and suddenly cried out, "Snake!"

 

The man abruptly stood up, pulling her with him and rasping, "Where?" His face was still obscured by his black hat and scarf.

 

"There!" Rey yelled, kneeing him in the groin and head-butting his chest hard enough to knock him down again. As he doubled over in agony, Rey brought her boot down against his throat and said threateningly,

 

"Try anything again, and I will kill you. Don't think I can't. Stay still if you value your life." She snatched the hat from his head to look her attacker in the eyes.

 

She gasped as she looked into the grinning visage of Ben Solo.

 

"I surrender," he rasped humorously. "I'd say do whatever you want to me, but I think it's going to take a while before things are working down south."

 

* * *

 

 

_The day before_

 

Ben's instincts and sleuthing had paid off. Actually, he'd dropped the flier of the martial arts camp casually on Rey's coffee table when he had been at the girls' house amid magazines and other fluff reading material, hoping Rey might find it and consider it. His remote viewing sessions of concentrating on her had seen her surrounded by trees and even a meadow with a waterfall, which matched the training camp he'd hoped she'd see and decide to attend, even though he wasn't anticipating she'd just _bolt_ and go without telling him. Once he'd arrived there, her car was easy to spot due to its age. He was relieved it was old enough not to have a GPS device on it, or Hux would have easily found her first.

 

He followed her at a distance as she entered the woods. The sky darkened overhead due to the dense trees and overcast sky. It was eerily reminiscent of Takodana.

 

* * *

 

 

_The present_

 

 **"Ben!!!!"** Rey hastily knelt beside him. "Are you hurt? You lunatic, why didn't you answer me when I called out? What if I'd tasered you? Oh my God, I'm so sorry I hurt you! Do I need to get help so we can get you back?"

 

A strange mixture of gurgling and laughter came from him. He'd experienced a lot of things, but being a "damsel in distress" was not one of them, and he felt a mixture and pride and respect that she had taken him down so easily. And he'd been worried about how she would protect herself against Hux!

 

"Ben, I'm serious, where does it hurt? I mean," she reddened, "aside from there?"

 

"Were you going to kiss it and make it better?" he wheezed, still laughing.

 

Rey smacked his chest but with no real force behind it. "Idiot," she breathed.

 

He caught her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it.

 

"I think I'll live. Although next time, you shouldn't hesitate. You should taser your target first and ask questions later. **_Always shoot first._** My dad taught me that." Ben winced and sat up, then stood and brushed the leaves off him. "I didn't think you'd hear me, and I wanted to watch you for a little bit. I'm sorry I startled you," he apologized.

 

"Ben Solo, I could have killed you! I thought you were an attacker!" she protested, still angry. "Ooooh, I don't know whether to beat you up or-"

 

"-Or," he said decidedly, swiftly putting his hands on either side of her face and bringing her lips to his in a searing kiss. "But it's nice to see you have murderous tendencies," he said, breaking their kiss. "I'd never have guessed you had that in you from meeting you last Spring."

 

"Nice? It's _nice_ that I have murderous tendencies?" Rey pretended to pummel his chest. "How did you find me? I was actually about ready to come back. Did something happen back home?"

 

"No, nothing like that," he kissed the top of her head and gently enfolded her in his arms. "I missed you. I tried to respect your wishes and stay away, but it's been three months and I was worried about you. I asked Gwen and she didn't know, but she was worried too and showed me the postcard you'd sent her, so I started calling places in the area that might make a good retreat and got lucky. I know I'm invading your privacy by coming here like this. I'll go if you want me to."

 

Rey softened and looked up at him through her lashes. "As a matter of fact, I was just wishing today that you were here. Feel like finishing the hike, or should we go back to the main camp?"

 

"Lead the way. I think I've recovered enough to hike. I like it here," Ben grinned.

 

"I do too," Rey said. "It reminds me of someplace, but I can't think of where...it's kind of spooky how the woods get with the mist on the ground and the darkness. I feel like I've been here before, but I've never lived in any location with woods." She shook her head in bewilderment. "That's been happening a lot lately. What do you call it? 'Deja vu.' Like it's a place I've seen or been to before. Like- like a person you meet you feel like you've known before," she said wonderingly, tracing his cheek.

 

"Like me?" he said huskily, stroking the soft skin of her cheek in return. "Do you feel that way about me? Because I confess, I've felt that way about you."

 

"Yes," Rey whispered, staring into his eyes. "But that's crazy, isn't it?"

 

"Crazy," Ben murmured, inhaling the pine-scented smell of her hair as he held her close.

 

"We should keep walking if we want to see the waterfall and make it back before dark," Rey said, reluctantly breaking the spell and taking his hand. Ben followed her as they returned to the trail, picking sticks and burrs out of their clothing and hair as they walked.

 

A short time later, the edge of the woods revealed a beautiful clearing. A grassy meadow with tall grass and purple and yellow wildflowers beside a dazzling waterfall greeted them. Rey shrieked in delight and took of at a run, shrugging her pack off her shoulders. Ben took off after her, catching her about the waist and twirling her. She giggled.

 

Ben retrieved her pack, and they found a comfortable spot and spread a blanket, sipping water and nibbling on protein bars.

 

"So, you're obviously doing well here," Ben said, his eyes taking in her body's healthy glow and muscular appearance, as well as a newfound air of confidence. "I can see it was good for you. I'm glad you went, although I felt like I scared you off."

 

Rey put a hand on his. "I wasn't running from you, exactly. I just...well, I told you before I've never been...intimate with anyone." She blushed slightly. "Some things are hard to talk about. It's not just sex; it's everything leading up to now."

 

He took her hand in his and stroked it, massaging her palm. For once, her wrist was free of the watches or bangles she usually wore around her it, and he massaged it, noticing she tensed as he did so. He looked down and saw the scar across one wrist.

 

"You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to, Rey," he said soothingly, bringing up her wrist and kissing her scar.

 

"I...well, I had a tough upbringing. You already know that. And that...that was amateur hour. I didn't even cut them the right way. I think deep down I knew that. Part of me wanted to stop living, but I wasn't ready to die. I have scratches along the undersides of my arms. It's hard to explain, but growing up it was how I dealt with pain. Not a healthy way, not like this place. But it's why I usually cover my arms with a wrap or long sleeves," she confessed.

 

"You don't have to be shy about your scars with me," he said tenderly. "I hope that's all behind you now."

 

"Oh, definitely," Rey said, a glint in her eye. "If I suspect someone might mistreat me now, I have some training in how to deal with them."

 

"I'll say," Ben grinned, pointedly looking at his groin.

 

"You deserved it for sneaking up on me!" Rey smiled. "Anyway, your turn. You know all about me, but I know very little about you."

 

"What would you like to know?" Ben lay back, enjoying the feel of her hand on his chest.

 

"Well...how does a hypnotist have enough money for a fancy car, a Harley, and box seats at the races, for starters?" Rey asked, curious.

 

"Ah, that. Well, seeing as you're already 'into me,' I guess you're not after my money, so I'll tell you. It's a bit embarrassing."

 

"Why?"

 

"My mother was a novelist before she became a psychiatrist. She was really good at it. She wrote under a pen name. Sort of veiled autobiographies at times, and sometimes really inventive fantasy. In the seventies, she wrote this screwball novel she turned into a screenplay about a war that took place in outer space. Sort of like Star Trek. No one wanted it because it had a gutsy female lead, which at the time was still considered too feminist. It was the "Old Boy" network, as she called it. Anyway, some adult movie company wanted to buy it for the rights to make it into a- well, a porno. So they did, and the porno did really well, and there was a series of them, plus merchandise, all of which my mother had the rights to."

 

"Ben Solo, are you just teasing me with this?"

 

"Nope. She was pretty horrified it took off that way. It was originally supposed to be an action movie, but not _that_ kind of action! I'm pretty sure you've never heard of it. Anyway, my dad liked to gamble. My mother really hated it when he did that, so he turned to "investing" with the stock market, which is basically the same thing as gambling, but it paid off, and I guess you could say we're sort of embarrassingly rich. My mother started the Skywalker Foundation and funded the clinic and hospital, as well as other charities we're kind of low-key about."

 

"Why 'Skywalker' Foundation?"

 

"That's the name of my mother's twin brother. Long story. She was adopted, and then they reconnected. He was a hypnotist, too. He wrote a bunch of books. I thought he was kind of a hippie when I was growing up."

 

Intrigued, Rey pushed herself up on one elbow and looked at him. "So is that who taught you how to do hypnosis?"

 

"You'd think so, but no, actually my mother was heavily against it. She considers it a pseudoscience, although she agrees biofeedback and EMDR can be beneficial. She's still on the fence about EMDR." He grinned. "Hence, the EMDR trials I'm conducting."

 

"Yeah, I know, I've got a couple more to complete, right? I wouldn't mind doing it when we get back."

 

Ben shrugged. "It can wait unless you're having nightmares again."

 

Rey shook her head. "I haven't been. Lately, my dreams have been pretty good."

 

Ben quirked an eyebrow at her. "Oh? Do tell!"

 

Rey reddened. "Not like that...okay, _some_ have been about you, but others have been like something from another world. Maybe I could do a screenplay and make millions by converting it to porn?" She punched him playfully. "But go back to what you were saying about your uncle. What happened to him?"

 

"He died a couple of years back in a plane crash. His body was never found, but it's pretty safe to say he was killed in the crash."

 

"Oh Ben, I'm sorry. How horrible."

 

Ben shrugged. "I didn't know him well. My mother took it hard. We lost my dad a few years ago just before that. He had a heart attack." He swallowed hard.

 

"Ben...that's awful. Were you close to him?

 

Ben ran a hand through his hair. "I wasn't always, but after college, I made a real effort to get to know him and be close to him. Do things with him, understand him. I was always pretty focused on myself. I took my parents for granted. I sort of woke up in college, and I realized parents aren't around forever. So I made an effort. That's one thing at least...I got to be with him at the end and take care of him."

 

Rey stroked his arm in comfort. "That's great. Not all kids would take care of a parent."

 

"He had congestive heart failure. He had a stroke and was in a wheelchair for a few years. It was suggested we put him in a nursing home, but mom and I didn't want to do that. I took time off, and we looked after him ourselves. We had some help, of course. It's a 24/7 job, but we were lucky enough to be able to hire help when it was too much. But it was an honor just to be there for him. I was glad to do it."

 

His eyes were glistening, and Rey looked down, afraid she had intruded on a very private memory.

 

"You're a wonderful person, Ben," she said softly.

 

"Don't."

 

"What?" Rey said in confusion.

 

"Just- I'm not a wonderful person. My father and mother deserved a lot better than me. I tried to make it up to them, but I can never- I'm sorry, I guess that's one of those things I'm uncomfortable talking about."

 

"Okay then," Rey said soothingly. "How about Hux? I think he said you guys go way back?"

 

Ben exhaled. "Yeah, you could say that. Hux was my college roommate at Cambridge. Hux was into hypnotism before I was. He was so excited about it and got me to enroll in a class in it, and then I was hooked, too. He went a different route with it than I did, but we both had common ground, I guess you could say. He gets on my nerves at times, but we do go way back."

 

He glanced up at the darkening sky. He hadn't meant to tell her so much.

 

"Speaking of way back, don't you think we should get back to your camp or whatever you call it? I have a room in town," he said hastily, not wanting to presume anything.

 

"We probably should get going," Rey said. "You might need someone to protect you from girls jumping out of trees on you," she laughed.

 

"True," Ben said. "Wayward scavengers with murderous intentions," he said through hooded lids.

 

Rey laughed. "This has been nice, though," she said wistfully. "I feel like I'm getting to know you a lot better."

 

"Yes," he said, squeezing her hand. "I think before the year is out, we'll know everything there is to know about each other. But in the meantime, I think we should hurry back.

 

A storm is definitely coming."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yes, a storm is most **definitely** coming! 
> 
> Thanks for being so patient with the updates. I haven't had much time to write lately, but I've got the next six chapters mapped out, so I should be able to get more done, I hope. And I realize I'm going very slowly with them physically, but I don't think it would be in character for "Reychelle" to just hop into bed with Ben with her history.
> 
> Part of why I needed this chapter was to do a bit of a time jump (three months) and establish she's had some time to work on her issues and build up her physical strength. I wanted her to do this in her present life and not have it be because she got in touch with her "inner Rey" or something like that. And she did it without a man saving her.
> 
> Aside from that, what did you think of this chapter? It's a bit short on action, but I finally dropped some backstory...and **a few clues.** I'm surprised no one has latched onto one big one yet, but I think this chapter may be a bit too wordy and it's a small mention. But I'm leaving it that way instead of spelling it out. I'm mean!
> 
> As always, I love your speculation in the comments (or pm me on Tumblr [ @pandoraspocksao3 ](https://pandoraspocksao3.tumblr.com/) if you prefer). 
> 
> I'm also on Twitter at [ @Pandora_SpocksAO3 ](https://twitter.com/Pandoraspocksa1/).
> 
> If you're a playlist person, here are some of the songs I am listening to while writing. [ The Hypnotist Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/user/catness1969/playlist/141YsStWY3Ue6AdGUWCxbQ?si=EFx2xBucQH6_i_Kae-ak0A) *In no particular order. 
> 
> *This chapter is not beta'd. The lovely [ @starhorse ](https://star-horse.tumblr.com/) is on a well-deserved vacation, and I finished this chapter earlier than I thought I would, so any mistakes on this are mine.


	11. First Dig Two Graves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

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> Fasten your seatbelts. Go to the bathroom, get your drink ready, and get your Reylo playlist going. This is not a drill. I repeat, NOT a drill. You have reached the midpoint, and things are about to shift.
> 
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> Special thanks to my incredible Beta, [ StarHorse7 ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarHorse7/pseuds/StarHorse7), known as [ @starhorse ](https://star-horse.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, for reading this chapter and giving me feedback while she was on vacation! How lucky am I? I was a bundle of nerves, too. 
> 
> I also need to thank [ @thetwinsunsoftatooine ](https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/thetwinsunsoftatooine/) on Tumblr for surprising me with this gorgeous new [ Moodboard!](https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/thetwinsunsoftatooine/177810540990) I love it! Thank you so much!
> 
>  

* * *

 

 ****“I don’t understand why we have to wait.”

 

“Because I don’t think you’re ready, Rey.”

 

“Honestly, Ben, this is stupid. We’ve been working up to it for _months_.”

 

“I know, but there’s no rush.”

 

“Are you going to make me beg? I thought you wanted to do it, too.”

 

“Of _course_ I do, but it should be the right time and place,” he said placatingly.

 

“I don’t see what’s wrong with right now in my bedroom,” Rey argued. “We have everything we need!”

 

Ben stared at her reclining next to him on her bed in her wet bathing suit. It had been an unseasonably warm day for autumn, and they had been enjoying the pool in Rey’s backyard. She snuggled up to him and looked at him coyly, stroking the shaft and then looking down at it pointedly.

 

“It feels so good in my hand. It’s so hard and smooth...and long! What is it, 12 inches?”

 

Ben snorted. “I think that’s a slight exaggeration, but maybe only slightly…”

 

She put his hand over hers coaxingly. “I think I like watching you hold it better. You have more experience with what to do with one of those than I do, obviously.”

 

“Well, I hate to be immodest, but I’d be lying if I denied I’m undoubtedly one of the best at this.”

 

“I don’t know; Hux said he has a reputation himself, you know,” she grinned mischievously.

 

Ben put her hand back on the stiff rod with his and arched an eyebrow at her. “I thought we agreed that you’d only do this with me, Ms. Lumen.”

 

“You’re the only one I’d trust,” she said seriously, licking her lips. “And I’m ready for you to put that to good use. How about I light some candles and you can prove your abilities, Dr. Solo?” She slid off the bed and drew the window shades shut and lit her new Pumpkin Spice candle on her dresser.

 

“And what if your roommate interrupts us?” Ben inquired, thoughtfully stroking the object of her gaze. “Didn’t you say she usually gets up around now?”

 

“We’ll be quiet,” Rey cajoled. “It doesn’t have to take long.”

 

Ben frowned. “Are you kidding? We’ve waited this long. When we do this, I want no interruptions and to be able to take my time with you. And I’m sorry, kiddo, but that’s not happening today.”

 

Rey rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe you’re turning me down. Fine. But I really _need_ this, Ben. I’ve never wanted to do it so much before. I’m ready; I swear I am.”

 

“Soon,” he smiled at her.

 

“Can I at least play with it some more?”

 

Ben stretched his arms over his head on her bed. “Be my guest.”

 

Rey bounced back on the bed beside him and took hold of the shaft of the EMDR wand. She held it up to the candlelight, stroking it absently and turning it back and forth, watching the glitter fall slowly from one end to the other as Ben put his arm around her and lay back against the pillows with her until they both fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

_One month later_

 

Of course, it couldn’t continue that way forever, Ben thought bitterly. Hux’s ambition, the government’s hunger for telekinetic abilities, and his own quest for revenge had seen to that. A random quote from Confucius flitted into his mind. _“Before you embark on a journey of revenge, first dig two graves.”_

 

He was in his office when he heard a gentle rap on the door.

 

“What is it?” he snapped irritably.

 

His red-haired colleague opened the door and took in his disheveled appearance. Wearily, Ben braced himself for another barrage of complaints from Hux about why he hadn’t made further progress with Rey.

 

Hux’s expression changed to one of concern. With an almost paternal look on his face, he produced a bottle of bourbon and two glasses he had been carrying, set them on the coffee table in the sitting area, and patted the seat beside him.

 

“Come join me for a drink, old friend. You look like you could use one.”

 

“Friends?” Ben questioned in disbelief. He arched an eyebrow at Hux but rose and settled in the chair next to him, pouring himself a drink.

 

“Yes, _friends._ We would have been before if Snoke hadn’t pitted us against one another. We were pretty good roommates at Cambridge, I thought. After all, I’m the one who encouraged you to take the class in hypnosis. I’m the one who encouraged you to have a past life regression hypnosis session. I knew it would reawaken you. I wanted you to know who you were and who you were destined to be. I trusted that in this life we could finally be the allies we were always meant to be,” Hux said, pouring himself a drink and holding it up to his former roommate.

 

“You’re here to pressure me to “reawaken” Reychelle,” Ben scoffed.

 

Hux frowned. “No, I’m actually not. _You’re_ the one who decided you wanted revenge against her. We both know she _was_ Rey in a past life, and every day she seems to be a little closer to remembering. But if you want to let it slide, I’ll tell the CIA she’s a dead end, and we’ll look elsewhere.”

 

“Really,” Ben said doubtfully.

 

Hux sighed and refilled their glasses. “It grieves me that you don’t trust me, Ren. I confess that in this life our friendship was one of the things I wanted to repair. I only brought my resources to you so I could help you with your plan. You were so _angry_ at her betrayal, as well you _should_ have been!” Hux shook his head.  

 

Ben closed his eyes, unwanted memories surfacing at Hux’s words.

 

“I didn’t know the depth of your feelings toward her until you told me at Cambridge,” Hux continued. “So how could I have known how deeply she wounded you? Naturally, I supported you when you said you would find her and have your revenge in this life. I went to great lengths to find her for you. I joined the CIA so I could have the power to make things right for us. I always saw us working together as allies, but it seems since you developed...feelings for this girl, your resentment has shifted to _me_.” Hux appeared wounded as he sipped his bourbon.

 

“But you could probably hypnotize her to repress her past life if that’s what you wanted,” Hux mused. “You could continue this way for the rest of your life, couldn’t you?”

 

“You know very well that’s not how it works,” Ben snapped. “Hypnosis doesn’t work unless the participant agrees. You need trust. And if a person’s past life memories are manifesting in dreams or daydreams, their convergence could happen spontaneously. That’s what you’re worried about. The return of the Jedi.”

 

“Ren, doesn’t it worry _you?_ You want me to be the bad guy in this, and that’s understandable, given your feelings, but consider this. If I tell the CIA to look elsewhere because I was wrong, and we just walk away, all the resources that can ensure your vengeance on her and keep her under control walk away as well. Don’t you worry about how she’ll react once she remembers her former life? When she fears _your_ power will be too strong to control?”

 

Ben was silent. These were questions he hadn’t wanted to think about. He’d been fooling himself thinking there was any chance of having any kind of happiness in this life. Karmically, it wasn’t possible for him, and it shouldn’t be for her either.

 

“Ren, I told you what happened after Crait. There’s nothing you can do about that part of the past anymore. It’s done. And you can walk away from this girl, but who’s to say when she remembers she’ll _let_ you? You’ve seen her strength returning over the summer. It’s inevitable that you two are on a collision course. She will be dangerous. I would hate to see you betrayed in the same fashion again-”

 

 **“Enough!”** Ben roared suddenly. He got up and slammed back another bourbon, pacing his office and stopping before the framed katanas behind glass. His hands itched to break the display and start slashing things.

 

“I won’t pressure you, either way,” Hux said calmly. “Search your feelings. Do what must be done. And should you need me, use the tools I can provide. That’s what I’m here for, my friend.” Hux finished his drink and quietly let himself out of the room.

 

Ben fought the storm of emotion raging inside him. The fear of loss...of losing the woman he had grown to care about so deeply in the past months was almost overwhelming. But she was an illusion. When she remembered everything, what then? Hux was right. Only fools believed history did not repeat itself. He’d been delaying the inevitable, hoping to enjoy the happiness he’d found while he could. But what did trust get someone except a sword at their throat while they were sleeping? A rejection of all one could offer? A hand extended in invitation to be met by a hand waiting to strike.

 

No, he could not hope that Reychelle would simply not remember who she was, no matter how much he had grown to care for her. He had a decision to make.

 

* * *

 

Rey sat in the parking lot of the clinic, carefully applying her lipstick in the rearview mirror. Not too much, but enough to look good when she went into Ben’s office. She had been excited to get the call from Ben asking if she had free time that afternoon and if she would still like to do the EMDR session. Rey felt so much healthier and confident. She was ready to face her demons with Ben’s help and look at the old nightmares again. She wondered if she would still feel the same depth of trauma or if they had been vanquished.

 

She smoothed her grey tunic over her black tights, completing the outfit with her favorite black boots. She had cut her hair to a shoulder-length bob recently, and she pinned the top half with a barrette to keep it out of her face, though a few tendrils had escaped and curled loosely around her face. She hoped Ben would like it. Giving her hair one last pat, she headed into the clinic.

 

Rey rushed up to the office window and tapped happily on the glass. Connix looked up from her tablet and frowned. She looked at her computer for a second and then opened the window slightly.

 

“I don’t see an appointment scheduled for you,” Connix said, appearing confused. “I thought you quit the EMDR stuff anyway.”

 

“Ben called me on my cell and asked me if I had some free time, so here I am,” Rey said, impatient to get back to see her boyfriend. She felt giddy thinking of him that way, but she was happily adjusting to the thought.

 

“I think you’re mistaken. Ben would have had _me_ call you if he wanted to schedule an appointment,” Connix said, starting to shut the window.

 

Rey slipped her hand through just in time to prevent it from closing. “For heaven’s sake, Connix, I don’t know what your deal is, but please call Ben and tell him I’m here, or I’m going to start banging on the door to the hallway until he comes out.”

 

“Alright, fine. Hold your horses,” Connix grumbled. “You know, if you’d had any sense you’d have followed that gorgeous jockey you were seeing to Kentucky,” she said, picking up the phone and curtly telling Ben that Rey was in the waiting area.

 

“Frankly, that’s none of your business,” Rey snapped, irritated at how hot and cold Connix always seemed to blow. Connix looked like she was about to retort when Ben opened the door and ushered her back to his office. Rey threw the blonde a glare and followed him.

 

As soon as they were in Ben’s office, Rey threw her arms around him and kissed him. She was a little surprised when he didn’t kiss her back and unhooked her hands from behind his neck. She looked at him quizzically.

 

“Ben? Is something wrong?”

 

He reddened slightly and then recovered, smiling as if embarrassed. He sat down in his therapist chair and gestured toward the client sofa for her to be seated.

 

“Sorry about that. I guess it’s just habit. When I’m here, I have to be professional, even with you. I’ll make it up to you later once we’re done and can get out of here, okay?”

 

“Sure,” Rey said, relaxing into the chair. “You’ve been the one holding back on both counts, for the record, about finishing the EMDR sessions and getting closer.”

 

“I know,” Ben said uncomfortably. “I guess I just didn’t want to rush you on either. So,” he cleared his throat. “I thought today we might try to recall that last nightmare you had and see how you’re doing now. The last time it was very hard for you to get through it and we had to stop. Do you feel like trying again and seeing if the EMDR worked?”

 

“Absolutely,” she said eagerly. She reached for the bowl of wands but noticed it had been moved somewhere.

 

“I have a wand,” Ben said, lighting a candle and making sure the blinds were drawn and the room was dimly lit. “Get comfortable and don’t take your eyes off this wand. Listen to my voice as your body starts to unwind and your muscles relax.”

 

Rey’s eyes followed the wand that he was slowly rotating back and forth. It had red sand with flecks of gold swirling in it. It was different from the previous wands they’d used. Listening to his voice, she tuned out the rest of the world and gradually fell under his spell. She visualized the scene of her nightmare again. This time, he told her, there was no movie screen. She _was_ the girl in the dream, and it was happening to her.

 

“Where are you now?” Ben asked carefully.

 

“I’m in an escape pod on my way to his ship. I know if I go to him, he’ll turn,” she said confidently.

 

“What will he turn to?”

 

“To the Light,” Rey said dreamily. “There is conflict within him.”

 

“Why do you want him to turn to the Light?” Ben asked her.

 

“Because this could be how we win! Luke won’t help us, and if Ben uses his powers to help the Resistance, the war will stop,” Rey said with determination.

 

“I see,” Ben said, tight-lipped. _A tactical manipulation all along, then._ “What’s happening now?”

 

“The pod is opening. I see him! Ben is looking down at me, but he doesn’t move to take my hand. He moves away, and the Stormtroopers handcuff me. I’m being marched to an elevator and left alone with him.”

 

He’d heard all this before. He let her continue through the fight in the Throne Room. Her eyes had tears in them, but hadn’t she always cried so easily? He couldn’t remember. They were up to the part where he had asked her to join him.

 

She reached out her hand hesitantly, and he held his breath for a moment, recalling the moment as vividly as she was reliving it in her mind. Her face strained in determination suddenly as she tried to pull the lightsaber toward her. To his concern, the wand he was holding in his hand began to tug free of his grasp. He tightened his hold on it and felt it snap in the center from the pressure exerted on both ends. It fell to the floor, spilling sand and glitter on the carpet at his feet.

 

Rey fell back as if blown back by the Force. For a moment, she was quiet in her chair. Ben recovered himself and let his voice guide her.

 

“What happens next, Rey?”

 

“I wake up. He’s been knocked out by the blast. I grab the shards of the lightsaber and make sure he’s breathing. Sirens are going off, and I know I have to escape. I see Snoke’s escape shuttle, and I get on it to find the others.”

 

_You mean the murderers, traitors, and thieves you call friends?_

 

“And do you find them?” he continued, forcing himself to keep his voice calm and soothing.

 

“Yes. I join Chewie on the Falcon, and we go to Crait to draw the First Order’s fire away from the Rebels. They’re trapped, so I go around the back, and somehow I make the rocks blocking the cave float.”

 

She gestured with her hands, and a pillow beside her rose in the air.

 

“Um, let’s move forward now. What is the last memory that you recall in your lifetime?”

 

Rey frowns. “I’ve just seen Ben through the Force Bond. I shut the door of the Millenium Falcon in his face without speaking to him. Then I turn around, and I meet a pilot who says his name is Poe. I tell him my name, and he says, ‘I know.’”

 

_That fucking pilot. An obvious flirt. So, she got over me pretty quick._

 

“Then I see Finn, and he’s with a girl he obviously cares about, taking care of her. Then I walk back and sit down with Leia. I ask how we will rebuild a rebellion from this, and she says, ‘We have everything we need.’”

 

“And then?” Ben prompted her.

 

“And then...there’s nothing. It’s the last thing I remember.”

 

“Think back, Rey. Go beyond that moment. Do you fight again? Do you see Ben? Do you attack Crait as you leave?” Ben tried not to sound frustrated.

 

“I...No, there’s nothing. Just blackness,” she said, scrunching up her brow as she tried to remember.

 

“Okay, that’s alright,” Ben said, determined to get to the bottom of this. “Take a deep breath. I want you to try going backward in time...as far as you can remember. What do you see?”

 

Rey’s eyes teared up from the effort, and the emotional toll it cost her was obvious. He knew he should stop, but he needed to _know._

 

“Luke...Leia...” she whispered, struggling to get the words out. Then, as if the effort has been too much, she slumped to the side on the sofa, unconscious.

 

“Rey! Rey, listen to my voice. You are returning to the present, back through the door and down the corridor to the present, Reychelle. You will wake up when I snap my fingers in 3...2…1. Wide awake.”

 

Rey blinked and struggled to sit up. Ben hurried over to assist her. Helping her to a sitting position against the sofa cushions once again, he turned to her, taking her hands in his.

 

“Rey, what did you see at the end? Did you see Luke? My mo- Leia? Was Luke on the ship with you? What was the last thing you saw?” he pressed her.

 

“I have such a headache,” Rey said, taking her hands from his and rubbing her temples. “Could I have some water, please?”

 

“Yes, but first, before you forget, did Luke appear on the ship?”

 

Rey frowned. “I think...maybe Leia told me something about him? I’m not sure. It went dark so fast.” She laughed suddenly. “Oh Ben, it’s funny to hear you talk like you can see my dream as well as I can!”

 

“This is no laughing matter,” Ben snapped at her.

 

Rey looked confused.

 

“Ben? Forget it. Honestly, it was just a nightmare to begin with, and they haven’t been bothering me for a long time! The EMDR worked! It doesn’t matter what was in the dream. Let’s go back to my place. You have some ‘making up’ to do to me, remember?” she said playfully, trying to hug him.

 

He took her by the shoulders and shook her slightly. “This is important, Rey, we were on the verge of something. Let me put you back under hypnosis.”

 

Rey pushed him away. “Ben, you’re going a little overboard with this, don’t you think? No, you’re not putting me back under. Don’t you want to be with me? I mean, I know you’ve been considerate about waiting for me to be ready for sex, but I’m _there,_ Ben, and frankly, I’d rather forget about this stuff and go home and concentrate on _us,_ wouldn’t you?”

 

Ben groaned and stood up, walking back and forth and running his fingers through his hair. Was she hiding something from him, or was this innocent act for real? How would he even know? He smashed his fist against his desk impatiently.

 

Rey walked over to him and tried again to put her arms around him, but he pulled away.

 

"I don't understand, Ben. If there isn't a problem with you dating a research study subject, why do you pull away from me? I know I'm not imagining the chemistry between us. Am I?" Rey suddenly felt miserable.

 

Ben went to the window and yanked up the blinds and stared out at the pond on the grounds. The high brick walls of the hospital building next door cast a shadow over it.

 

"It's not that simple, Rey," he said, sounding as miserable as she felt. "If only you were the girl I thought you were - or if I knew for sure that you weren't."

 

"What?! Ben, you aren't making any sense! If I was or wasn't the girl you thought I was? What the hell does that mean?" she yelled at him angrily.

 

Ben remained facing the window. "It means that for months now I've been trying to determine under hypnosis if you were someone - someone from my past. You seem to have all her memories in your dreams, but you're different, too. You don't remember any of it.”

 

“Ben it was a dream. It wasn’t real. I’m not some ex-girlfriend of yours. But while we’re at it - _now_ I remember! That night - that night you came by the pool! You saw me naked! And you were rambling on about how I wasn’t like some ex-girlfriend of yours! So is that it? You want me to be this ex of yours? That’s pretty twisted,” she said angrily.

 

Ben made a frustrated gesture with his hands, not even sure how he could address her convoluted memories of the night he saved her from drowning. In the inebriated state she had been in, she wasn't remembering it correctly. Lamely, he grasped for the first thing he could think of and went on the offensive.

 

"Well, it took you forever to tell your damn ex-boyfriend or whatever you call him that you didn't want to see him anymore because you were falling in love with me."

 

"Oh. Oooooh. You conceited...pigheaded...nerfherder ASS!" Rey spluttered, turning red. “First of all, that has _nothing_ to do with comparing me to an ex, and second of all, that’s not what-”

 

Ben spun around at her words. "What did you call me?" he whispered, his face going white.

 

"You're an ass!" Rey yelled as she rushed toward him and pummeled his chest with her fists. She had never been so hurt and so angry at the same time. "I hate you," she screamed.

 

Ben grasped her wrists roughly with his hands and held them still. "What did you call me before that?" he asked, staring at her intently.

 

"What does it matter, you piece of Bantha fodder?" Rey stopped, confused. "Why did I say that? What do those words even mean?" she asked.

 

"It means, my dear Rey, that I think the good doctor has finally woken you up," a voice drawled from the corner of the room.

 

Rey quickly turned her torso and craned her neck to see who had spoken, as Ben still had a hold on her arms. Lounging against the side of the door was Armitage Hux. In the commotion, she hadn't even heard him come in.

 

"Get. Out," spat Ben, releasing Rey's wrists and advancing menacingly toward the smaller man.

 

"Oh Ren, come off it. I've been listening through the door long enough, and as soon as I heard 'nerfherder,' I knew you'd finally done it. I was beginning to doubt your competence, but I'm glad to know all that time wasted on these sessions and after-hours partying has finally paid off. If she's not completely awake, she soon will be. I believe Rebel Scum Space Rey will soon be with us. Let's get this over with."

 

"She doesn't know anything. Shut up and leave now," Ben said, his hands curling into fists.

 

"Ben?" whispered Rey, uncertain as to what was happening to her or with them.

 

Hux continued to address Ben. "You know you can't leave this half finished. You know what has to be done. Need I remind you this was _your_ plan in the first place? You have your reasons for doing this, and I have mine. And stop looking like you're going to Force-choke me. We both know you can't. You can't let her leave like this, either. What happens when she goes home and recovers her memories?"

 

Ben closed his eyes and said nothing.

 

Rey looked from one to the other, panic mounting. Slowly she began backing away from Ben and trying to figure out how to get around Hux to the door.

 

"That won't do you any good, my dear," Hux said smugly. He pushed a button on the wall and spoke into an intercom system, "Code Green, Suite #66."

 

"Whatever the fuck that was, I'm leaving, and you can't stop me," Rey said, summoning all her courage and running toward Hux. She swung her purse like a mace, aiming for his groin. He was ready for her and caught her bag with his hands. But Rey wasn't finished. With the training she had amassed in her martial arts class, she managed one good high kick that connected where her purse had missed. Hux went down like a tree felled by an ax, and she brushed past his writhing body on the floor, opened the door and ran.

 

" **HELP!** " she screamed at the top of her lungs. Her heart was pounding in her chest, waiting at any moment for Ben or Hux to give chase. Thankfully, as she burst through the lobby, two big burly men in uniform were coming in through the outer doors.

 

"They're in _there,"_ she gasped, pointing behind her. "They're crazy! They think I'm someone else! They were going to kidnap me or something! Arrest them, please!"

 

Connix was staring wide-eyed at her and the uniformed men, her mouth agape. Then, slowly the door leading to the office hallway opened, and Ben stepped out, a hobbling, red-faced Hux following closely behind him.

 

"Grab that girl," screeched Hux.

 

The men looked at Ben, who nodded imperceptibly, not looking pleased with any of it.

 

"Take her to the ward. I'll fill out the paperwork," he said, shoving his hands in his white physician's coat pockets helplessly.

 

"Ben, what are you doing?" Rey asked desperately. "Get off me," she yelled, as the two men grasped her upper arms and escorted her out the door. "You can't do this! I'm not crazy, _they_ are," she explained, as if to children. "They think I'm from _outer space!_ Don't you understand?" she shouted frantically.

 

"Of course, Miss," one said soothingly. "We'll take you somewhere safe. It's going to be alright."

 

"No, no, **no!"** Rey screamed as she was escorted from the premises of the clinic across the walkway leading to the large psychiatric hospital beside it. In vain, she twisted around, looking for Ben. She couldn't see him as they led her into the psych hospital and another set of elevator doors. She became still, trying to drag her feet as they exited the elevator and out the door into a large courtyard surrounded by high brick walls. Brick buildings connected by a sidewalk and a covered awning made a square around a grassy space landscaped with flowers and fountains. Rey looked around wildly, seeking a way out.

 

The men took her to one of the buildings and used a security key card he wore from a lanyard around his neck which opened the first of a set of double doors. Keying the second set of doors, he escorted her onto the psych unit. They led her to a chair and released her so she could sit down, but almost immediately she jumped up and ran to the doors, trying to get them to open for her. She had no success; they were firmly locked against anyone without a key card.

 

"Rey, calm down," a familiar voice said, as Rey continued to pound against the door. "Rey, shh. You're just making it worse," the female voice said calmly.

 

Unbelievingly, Rey turned around and saw her roommate. _Gwen!_ _Of course, she must be moonlighting at the psych hospital. Thank God._

 

"Oh Gwen, I'm so glad you're here! There's been the most awful mistake. Ben and Hux are trying to frame me and lock me up! You can tell these men I'm not crazy and let me out!" She rushed to her roommate and hugged her.

 

"There, there, Rey. I'm going to help you, don't worry," Gwen said, in a brisk manner. 

 

A second later, Rey felt something sharp bite into her arm. Another nurse had injected her with something while her back was turned.

 

"Thank you, Nurse Evie," Gwen said. "That should calm her down. Let's get her to a room and get her ready, shall we?"

 

Rey’s eyelids fluttered as the medication worked its magic, and the last thing she saw before she blacked out was the doors opening again and Ben and Hux walking through them.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you guys think? Your comments have been keeping me going on this! I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint. I'm incredibly nervous about it! I'm also on Tumblr [ @pandoraspocksao3 ](https://pandoraspocksao3.tumblr.com/) .
> 
> I'm also on Twitter at [ @Pandora_SpocksAO3 ](https://twitter.com/Pandoraspocksa1/).
> 
> Come say hi!
> 
> If you're a playlist person, here are some of the songs I am listening to while writing. [ The Hypnotist Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/user/catness1969/playlist/141YsStWY3Ue6AdGUWCxbQ?si=EFx2xBucQH6_i_Kae-ak0A) *In no particular order. 
> 
> I've wanted to get to this midpoint for a long time, and while I could have drawn out the whole "getting to know you" courtship for a bit longer, I think we were all impatient to have "Reychelle" remember Rey. I know I was!
> 
> I mean, to quote Tennessee Williams, "We've had this date from the beginning," am I right?


	12. End of Part 1 - Summary and Author Notes, Feedback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *I saw this kind of a mid-story summary format done in another fiction in the Archive by blueenvelopes935 and thought it was a nice way to pause the story and touch base with the readers!

So this is the end of Part 1. There is a clear division from this point from the rest of the story as Reychelle rapidly regains her memories of Rey from The Last Jedi. I cheated a bit on the last two chapters to get to this point faster, and I could really use your feedback on whether that was a mistake or not.

At this point, I would hope you feel like "Reychelle" has grown stronger as a character and is also forming a close attachment to Ben. I used a "time-hop" element that may or may not have been clear when Ben left to go find her. That "getting to know you" period spanned about 3 months while she was at the retreat working on regaining her health and getting better control of her eating disorder (I don't believe one every really is "over" an eating disorder, but you can be functional and learn to avoid triggers and lead a normal life if you try hard). Then I added a one-month time lapse in the next chapter, so I hope people have the sense that about 6 months have elapsed in total.

Reychelle is meant to be relatable to all women to a degree. I think we all struggle with something, particularly at Rey's age, which I imagine is roughly 22 or 23, but you can picture her at any college age you like (as long as it's over 18). Ben is older, probably around 30 to 33. Unlike Rey in the movies, things don't come easily for Reychelle; she struggles to cope with her abandonment issues. Seeing a therapist makes her strong, in my opinion, not weak. She has issues and she's trying to work on them, which is more than a lot of people do. She's human. She does **not** have superpowers. 

In Chapter 7, "The Parapsychologist," I threw a lot of terms and tests at you. Those were actually real. You also now know that Hux works for the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) of the United States. What you may not know is that the CIA actually conducted secret tests and experiments like Hux did in the chapter! It began in the 1950s and continued until 1995. It was referred to as the "Stargate Project." It was basically research on extrasensory perception (ESP) by the federal government that was fully funded. There was even a movie made about it called "Men Who Stare At Goats" starring George Clooney!

Anyway, going forward, I want to define the terms of some of the things under the ESP umbrella that were studied because although Reychelle will not have "Force" powers, I wanted to point out a lot of things referred to in the "Force" are actually psychic abilities some scientists purport we already have. These are standard definitions below, not my own. I'm undecided on the validity of a lot of it, but for clarity of the story, here are the terms defined and how they relate to their use in Star Wars with the Force:

**Force-Type Powers and the Study of Parapsychology**

  * **Telepathy:**   Reading minds or communicating with another using the mind _(Kylo and Rey's ability to read other's thoughts)_


  * **Clairvoyance/precognition:**  Visions - perceiving things or events in the future beyond normal sensory contact _(Rey's visions)_


  * **Hypnosis:**  The induction of a state of consciousness in which a person apparently loses the power of voluntary action and is highly responsive to suggestion or direction. _(Jedi Mind Tricks, control over individuals)_


  * **Telekinesis:**  The ability to move objects with the mind _(lifting rocks, calling lightsaber to the hand, etc.)_


  * **Astral Projection:** Thesoul is able to leave the body and travel outside it _(Force Bond or Force Projection)_


  * **Remote Viewing:** The idea that someone can visualize details of distant people and objects through ESP _(spidey-sense, Leia knowing where Luke was in Empire when he was in danger on Cloud City)_


  * **ESP (Extrasensory Perception):** Telepathy and clairvoyance/precognition that involves awareness of information about events external to the self not gained through the senses and not deducible from previous experience. _(See above)_



* * *

 

***Editing to add, no more feedback needed in comments, unless you just want to comment. I listened to everyone's feedback so far and made the decision to just keep moving forward, although if I get a whim I may do one backfill chapter, but I think everyone is tracking with me, so at this point I'm not confused as to what comes next. Thank you everyone who contributed below!**

Before I post another chapter, I'd like to know from you guys if you are feeling the Reychelle/Ben connection yet, or if I need to go back and write another filler chapter of them getting to know each other. Right now they are (were) dating, and there has been no sex because Reychelle has been dealing with her issues and Ben is enough of a gentleman not to push her. If I had more time, I would have fleshed that out more, but I really wanted to get to part 2 of the story. 

I'm surprised and pleased to have a lot of subscribers to this story, although I always factor in that people who subscribe may have other fics they are reading and haven't gotten to mine yet. But I can tell by the responses on Tumblr in PMs and comments on here I have a small but steady group of active readers that like the updates to this one, so I wanted to listen to your opinions before I post anything else. I'm still new to writing, so your feedback helps me know if I lost you at some point and how I can get back on track if that happens.

I've started writing the next chapter, but it's not enough to post yet. I could still go back and post more on establishing Ben and Reychelle if you felt that moved too fast. Or elaborate more on Hux and Ben, although I think I handle that in chapters going forward just as easily to clear it up. I'm aware I packed a LOT in that last chapter. 

 

But you tell me. Which would you prefer? 

 

I won't ask you what needs clearing up because that's half the fun of this story. I hope I can keep surprising people at least with some story elements! You're a clever bunch, though! 

I also wanted to let you know that while I'm sorry I don't have a set posting schedule, I always finish my stories. I am going to try to stick to 20 to 25 chapters because I don't want it to drag out forever. 

The next update may not be until sometime in October or even early November because this time of year is so beautiful, and I don't want to miss a thing. I'm taking my dad on a trip to Colorado to watch the leaves change. He's in his 80s and he's always wanted to do a road trip. 

But I digress - the bottom line is that the posting schedule on this story is unpredictable. I know I'll sacrifice readers because of it. I posted regularly with Dark Angel every one to two weeks, but it would have been a much better story had I not rushed. I have a full-time job and a house and yard to care for on my own, and I've neglected it lately! My goal in writing this was to improve and try to craft a good story. 

A 6500-word chapter takes me about 3 weeks in writing and editing time. I can keep doing that, or I can shorten them and try to update more frequently. 

 

I'd love to hear your thoughts! I appreciate everyone who is subscribed and reading The Hypnotist and hope you are enjoying it! I am having so much fun reading the comments and speculation! 

I'll respond to every comment, although I may not be able to answer your question if it's a spoiler! If the majority want me to go back and write more development of Reychelle and Ben, I will (but no sex - yet). 

 

Otherwise, part 2 with Rey waking up in the psych ward will resume probably by mid to late October. I appreciate your patience! Thanks for putting up with my slow posting schedule and for your enthusiasm. I'm about 2000 words into the next chapter (which i not filler, but starts where we left off). My readers are the **best!**

HAPPY AUTUMNAL EQUINOX!  

 

Hugs,

Pandora [ @pandoraspocksao3 ](https://pandoraspocksao3.tumblr.com/)

I'm also on Twitter at [ @Pandora_SpocksAO3 ](https://twitter.com/Pandoraspocksa1/).

 


	13. The Asylum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/51212640@N04/44193544145/in/dateposted-public/)  
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>   
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> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/51212640@N04/44091507774/in/dateposted-public/)  
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Rey struggles and kicks for the surface. The black waters of the Dark place she had dove into on Ahch-To change to the chlorinated waters of a swimming pool, but the surface still won’t come. Dimly she feels herself being lifted gently to the side. Her enemy is breathing life back into her body. _What is this place?_ Stars swirling, glitter swirling, galaxies being sucked into the vast black hole she finds herself in. Familiar people in strange outfits. Confusion.

 

The mirror cave. Thousands of Reys. She touches the surface of the mirror and waits, only to see her own reflection. The snap of fingers. Her fingers, echoing...no, his fingers, bringing her back. Rey will wake up and be in his office, and he will help her make sense of it. _No, don’t trust him,_ says the Rey behind her, tugging her hand, trying to stay in the mirror cave.

 

The Light beckons to her. She is nearing the surface; she can feel it. Ben is there; she senses him. The Force Bond must be opening...what strange sort of speeder is that? She sees an odd type of transport with wheels that touch the ground and do not hover above it, and Ben, still in dark clothes but much different. Is he...smiling? Is that her...laughing? It must be a vision. It swirls in her head. She wants no part of this. She turns to run.

 

She’s in the forest at Takodana. Someone stalks her. She feels her limbs freeze. It’s him. She must be dreaming of him, the loathsome creature in the mask. She hears footsteps as he steps into her line of vision. His mask is fearsome. She won’t show him her fear. She wills the mask to disappear with her mind, and it dissolves, slowly. The face under the mask is her own.

 

She is facing herself; only this Rey is in Ben’s dark robes. The other Rey reaches a hand toward her forehead. _No, not that torture again!_

 

A switch in perception and she is in the other Rey’s mind, and the other Rey is in hers. _No,_ each thinks. _It isn’t possible,_ as they absorb the memories of the other.

 

But it is. **_One soul, two lifetimes._**

 

* * *

 

(Snap!)

 

She hears the sound as she finally breaks the surface. Her eyes flutter open and gradually focus. She gasps with hope as she sees Ben towering above her pod. She’s arrived. His face is seemingly impassive as he meets her gaze briefly, but then he quickly moves out of her field of vision. She tries to sit up and crane her neck to see where he went, but her head feels oddly heavy.

 

She blinks again and tries to move her arms to push herself up, but she encounters resistance. Restraints. Oh, well, obviously. They are taking her to see Snoke, after all.

 

She sees one of them adjusting the restraint around her arm. But something’s wrong…

 

“Aren’t-” Her voice is raspy as if she has been asleep for a while, and she clears her throat and tries again. “Aren’t you a little short for a Stormtrooper?”

 

“A what?” answers a puzzled female voice.

 

The young woman is not wearing any armor, just some sort of light fabric garb of dark grey, her honey-blond hair coiffed into an elegant bun at the nape of her neck. She has accentuated the drab outfit with pretty makeup, though, and sparkling ruby and diamond studs in her ears. An intoxicating waft of expensive designer perfume reaches Rey’s nostrils. It smells like desert wind, sandalwood, something spicy, and an open fire. _No one on Jakku smells this good,_ Rey thinks as she stares at the woman. Her eyes are warm and non-threatening as she pats Rey’s arm.

 

“I’m Nurse Evie, hon. I’ll bring you some water and tell Nurse Phasma you’re awake. You’ve been asleep for 24 hours! Don’t panic. You’re in restraints because you were pretty out of control when you were brought in. After Nurse Phasma assesses you, Dr. Solo will probably let you out of those if you can stay calm,” she says reassuringly.

 

Rey takes a deep breath and locks eyes with the young nurse. “You will unfasten these restraints and leave this room, leaving the door open,” she instructs. Thinking of the sharp sting she experienced, she adds quickly, “And you will drop your weapon.”

 

The pretty nurse looks at her for a moment, then brushes her hand against Rey’s brow. “The medication has left you a little confused, honey. I don’t think it’s quite time to take them off yet, but you’re safe, okay? I’ll be right back. Do you watch the Emmys? I don’t really care about the awards, but the fashion is so much fun to watch, and it’s on in the break room. I’m going to sneak a peek while the other nurse checks on you. I’ll let you know who got Best Actor if you’re interested.” The nurse turns and exits the room, and Rey takes in her comfortable yet chic designer footwear that seems odd on a nurse. _Where are the med droids?_

 

A few minutes later, a very tall blonde woman enters the room behind Nurse Evie and watches her closely. _I know her,_ Rey thinks desperately.

 

“Here you go, hon, sip this now,” Nurse Evie says in a chipper voice, holding a plastic straw to Rey’s lips. Rey sips it suspiciously, but it is just cold water, and her throat is parched. She sucks greedily at the straw.

 

_I’m not on Jakku, then._

 

Nurse Evie pats her forehead and gives her a bubbly smile. “This is Nurse Phasma. She’s going to check your vitals and take care of you. I’ll be around later to check on you. Oh! I missed Best Actor, but Tiffany Haddish won for hosting SNL. She did that hilarious skit with the shirtless guy from Star Trek, remember? Anyway, she’s awesome and-”

 

“Ahem,” the other woman coughs.

 

“Well, I’ll check on you later. Bye for now, hon.” Nurse Evie sashays out of the room, leaving Rey to stare at Phasma.

 

The woman approaches her bed and looks at the monitors. “How are you feeling?”

 

Rey scrunches up her face as images flood her. “I know you.” Her voice works much better after the sips of water.

 

“Can you tell me who I am and where you are?” the blonde asks in a cool, measured tone.

 

“Gwen,” she frowns. “You were here when those men brought me to the hospital. You helped them knock me out,” she says accusingly.

 

“Your behavior was very out of control,” the nurse replies neutrally. “What else do you remember?”

 

Rey frowns as her memories swirl and start to solidify. “I asked you to help me. You’re my roommate. You’re supposed to be my friend,” she says, eyes narrowing. “How long have you been working here?”

 

“Your recent memory is intact,” Phasma notes, checking something on a clipboard. “Do you remember what led up to you coming here?”

 

“I asked you a question,” Rey says, her voice fierce.

 

“You know I’m a nurse, Rey. I have contract nursing jobs; you know that."

 

“And you just happen to be at the hospital Ben works for, and you didn’t mention that? I asked you how long you’ve been working here,” Rey says, yanking at her restraints.

 

“Don’t get yourself worked up,” admonishes the other woman. “I’ll answer your questions, but right now you need to answer mine,” she says with authority.

 

Rey searches her memory and pales as the full impact hits her. Ben regressing her with hypnosis. Her garbled speech. Her confusion. Hux. Ben’s betrayal - no, she can’t think of that right now; it hurts too much.

 

“Tell your boss I remember it all,” she snarls. “How exceedingly coincidental that you answered my ad on Craigslist and offered me such a wonderful deal staying at your house. Your little overtures of _friendship._ Now answer my question, you _bitch.”_

 

Phasma looks at her coolly. “Paranoia and hostility,” she says, writing something else on her clipboard. “Maybe a shot of Haldol will help. I’ll check with the doctor.” She whirls and leaves the room.

 

“Gwen!” Rey yells in frustration. It’s coming back to her, alright. She can’t recall the tall blonde from her previous life, but Ben Solo - oh gods, she’s on a planet with no Force with Kylo Ren!

 

Wait, maybe now that she remembers who she is she can summon the Force. Rey closes her eyes and reaches out with her feelings, picturing the restraints falling open from her wrists and ankles.

 

Nothing happens.

 

She keeps her eyes tightly closed and tries once more. She senses another person has entered the room and opens her eyes.

 

Hux. The eccentric Irishman with his odd tests and strange wife. He’s standing in the corner with his arms folded, a smug look on his face as he watches her. And from the briefings she had at the Resistance base, he must be....

 

“Do keep trying to do whatever you’re doing there,” he says, looking less casual despite his usual argyle sweater and khaki pants. He has a stiffer posture and supercilious manner to him. “If you feel you’re getting somewhere, I’d like to record it. Telekinesis is so rare these days.”

 

“General Hux, I presume. Are you going to insist on a charade, or can we cut the Bantha fodder?” Rey snaps at him.

 

“Certainly. Why pretend? Very good, Rey. We never met, but I take it your Rebel scum friends told you about me.”

 

Rey smiles frostily at him. “Commander Dameron, in particular, enjoyed toying with you if memory serves. He was right, you know. You’re so pasty, you look ill. How’s your groin, by the way? I hope I kicked your junk up into your throat.”

 

Hux’s smug facade breaks for a moment as he gapes at the fiery girl. She is a far cry from the polite and almost timid young student he’d seen last. Then he remembers himself, and a sneer creeps across his features as he advances toward her bed.

 

Rey jerks at her restraints, but it is an exercise in futility. With no Force ability and the restraints securely fastened, she knows taunting Hux was probably not the smartest move she could have made. Her eyes lose some of their defiance as she realizes how vulnerable she is.

 

“Where’s Ben?” she questions abruptly, hoping to throw him off balance. “Where’s your Supreme Leader? If he’s gone to all this trouble to get me here, by all means, tell him I’m awake. I don’t feel like dealing with underlings,” she goads. She guards her revulsion and uneasiness at Hux’s closeness, meeting his brashness with her own.

 

“Dr. Solo is in his office and can’t come out to play,” Hux says, his egotistical sneer appearing even nastier. “So you will answer my questions, Rebel scum. What is your last memory of your previous life?”

 

“I’m not telling you anything,” Rey says with more bravado than she feels. “Get Ben in here to tell me what this is all about or otherwise get the kriff out of my face.”

 

“Ah, the old expressions. Still crass, like the lowly born often are,” he taunts.

 

“Yeah? Well, I don’t know about your birthright, but I see you still seem to be playing second fiddle to Ben in this lifetime as well as the last. That must be tiresome for you,” Rey shoots back.

 

Hux’s eyes narrow. All traces of the affable researcher she remembers are gone. “I suggest you reevaluate your current situation, my dear. You have no friends to save you this time, and what little psychic powers you do possess won’t be enough to help you escape. Especially once I have you moved to a secret military base to conduct experiments on you and your abilities with the full backing of the CIA.  No one will be looking for you and no one could find you, so you’d better cooperate while you’re in somewhat pleasant conditions,” he threatens.

 

“You’re insane,” Rey spits, digesting this bit about the CIA. “You have to notify someone that I’m in the hospital; you can’t just lock someone up without notifying their next of kin.”

 

Hux smiles that smug grin again. “Of course not. And you’ve already spoken to your emergency contact person. I can show you the paperwork if you’d like to verify that. Everything is in order. I can call in Nurse Phasma again if you don’t remember speaking with her.”

 

_Gwen. Shit, I remember now. I put her down as my emergency contact person since she was my roommate and I have no close friends._

 

Her look of horror shows on her face and Hux gloats in satisfaction.

 

“Do you think we’d leave anything to chance? I can assure you, this plan has been in the works for a very long time. Ren and I have been very thorough. Now tell me the last thing you remember from your previous life, or I assure you that as bad as being in restraints may feel, it can get worse.”

 

Rey closes her eyes as her past life and her present one continues to solidify in her mind. She may remember Rey of Jakku’s life and memories, but she is still Reychelle Lumen with all her insecurities and anxieties. She doesn’t remember Hux except for what Leia told her about him before she went to find Luke. He was a general of the First Order. _It’s so crazy that I know that!_

 

“I’m waiting,” Hux says menacingly.

 

“This is a lot to take in,” she says, stalling for time. “Give me a minute to think. It’s all jumbled up.” Her chest is constricting with panic. Her breathing is getting shallow. She hopes that the little nurse who checked on her earlier will come back and make him leave, but they must think she’s safe with Dr. Huxley. Hux. And apparently she can't use the Force.

 

_Ben. Ben, help me, please. Unless everything we were to each other was a lie, help me, please._

 

Rey gasps for air, twisting as much as she can in the restraints. She doesn’t recall having a panic disorder in her past life, but it’s real enough in the present, and now she’s hyperventilating.

 

_Ben, I can’t breathe. I’m going to die, and I don’t even know why you hate me so much that you’ve locked me up here. But there is no Force. You aren’t a mind reader, and you’ll never know how I felt about you or that Hux threatened me until I couldn’t breathe._

 

Hux says something snide about how she’s faking to get out of telling him what he wants to know, but Rey sees spots dancing before her eyes and doesn’t hear him. She hears the sound of a door slamming somewhere in the distance and then her vision tunnels, and she sees someone dart into the room and shove Hux away from her bed. She hears shouting, and then the head of her bed is being raised, and the restraints are removed from her wrists and ankles. The sweet little nurse is holding a paper bag over her nose and mouth and instructing her to breathe into it. Slowly, she can expand her lungs more.

 

“Honey, it’s Evie. I’ve got a couple of pills I want you to take, okay? They’re on your med list. I have some water for you to swallow. Can you do that for me?”

 

Rey decides if there’s anyone she trusts right now, it’s the nurse with no ties to her past that she knows of. At any rate, she doesn’t want to get worse, so she swallows the pills and sips the water. She feels lightheaded, but she is starting to get her breathing to normalize. That’s when she sees him. Ben. He looks rumpled, like he’s slept in the same clothes he had on yesterday, or whenever she was brought in. He has dark circles under his eyes and looks worse than she feels. _Did he hear me? Impossible. Coincidence,_ she thinks.

 

Ben is looking at her anxiously but not meeting her eyes. He turns to Gwen, who is standing in the doorway and addresses her.

 

“I don’t want him in here again. No visitors, including that bast- Dr. Huxley, unless you clear it through me first. Call security and have him thrown out if he comes in again, although I think I got it through his thick skull. The restraints can stay off as long as she behaves. Make sure she eats something and keeps drinking fluids. She’s to be on one-on-one care until I say otherwise, so be sure you tell the psych tech when she gets here for the night shift. I’m going home to get some sleep and will be back in the morning. Page me if you need me.”

 

“Ben!” Rey calls out desperately as he strides hurriedly out of her room without glancing back at her. “Ben!” she calls out again, but he doesn’t return.

 

She swings her legs over the side of the bed and tries to follow him, but they give way underneath her from lack of movement for so long.

 

“Easy, hon,” Nurse Evie says, rushing around the bed to help her, but Gwen is already there, hooking her strong arms under her armpits and lifting her back to sit on the bed.

 

“Can you go fix her something to eat before I have to leave for the night?” Gwen asks Evie.

 

“Of course! Dr. Solo ordered in something he said she’d like. I’ll go heat it up. Hang in there, Rey. A little food and fluids and you’ll feel like yourself in no time,” she says cheerfully, exiting the room.

 

“Tell her not to bother. I’m not hungry,” Rey says bitterly as her former “friend” settles her back against the pillows.

 

“Suit yourself, but I doubt you’d like to be on an IV drip unless you have to be, and he’ll order a feeding tube if you don’t eat soon,” Gwen warns.

 

“I’ll eat if you’ll drop the act while Evie is gone and tell me what I did to you that made you cooperate with them,” Rey says angrily. “I don’t remember you from before, but it's obvious you have a connection to Ben and Hux. Why deny it? Who’s going to believe the girl who says she knew you from a previous life in another galaxy? It’s no coincidence that you answered my ad in Craigslist and gave me such a great deal on the house with you, is it?”

 

The nurse searches her eyes for a moment, then drops her gaze and sighs. “No, it wasn’t a coincidence. And we never met, although you gave my Stormtroopers quite a bit of trouble back when you escaped from Starkiller. We were on opposite sides of the war. I heard you were friends with the traitor, FN-2187, though.”

 

“Finn. His name was Finn. Just like now. So, no wonder you two didn’t hit it off when I set you up!”

 

Gwen laughs. “Yeah, I didn’t realize who he was at first, but he rubbed me the wrong way in both lifetimes.”

 

“So you decided you hated me in this lifetime because of what side of the war I was on in the past?”

 

Gwen pauses for a long moment, then lifts her eyes back up to Rey’s. “I don’t hate you. You were the assignment. I was well compensated to make sure you were looked after. And you needed that, frankly. You think I don’t recognize someone with bulimia nervosa in my business? There are physical signs and behaviors that are a giveaway. And that business of getting drunk and almost drowning in the pool scared the shit out of me.”

 

“I seem to recall you pouring the champagne that night,” Rey says accusingly.

 

“So what? A lot of people drink, but I didn’t know it would make you cramp up and swim to the deep end and almost drown. You were standing at the side when I let Ben in. I figured you two were dancing around this attraction long enough, and I thought maybe a little midnight swim would speed things along. I didn’t plan for you to get hurt. He was there with you; how was I supposed to know that would happen? Maybe you do need to be here to be protected from yourself; did you ever think of that?”

 

“Is that _really_ the reason I’m here, Gwen?” Rey searches her face carefully.

 

Gwen shrugs and looks away. “I’m not sure. As I said, you were an assignment. The rest you are going to have to find out from Ben and Hux. It’s not my place to say anything else. But I wouldn’t have agreed to this part if it meant you were going to be hurt, Rey. I don’t have friends. I never did. Not in either lifetime. But I don’t hate you. But that doesn’t mean I won’t follow orders and restrain you if you try to escape again and go wild, so behave yourself and just wait until you can talk to Ben, okay?”

 

Rey cocks her head to one side. “You’ve forgotten one thing, all of you. I have friends. Finn and Rose. Poe. They’ll check up on me and find me missing, and they all know I’m close to Ben. That’s who the police always suspect first - the boyfriend.”

 

Gwen laughs gently. “Oh Rey, don’t you think we thought of that? Poe is enjoying his career far away in another state, and he’s your ex. Rose is Finn’s girlfriend more than your friend, and Finn is just someone you met a few months ago, another ex. I have your phone, and I can text them every once in a while and tell them you’re away at that fitness camp you liked or traveling or just not feeling well. People move on eventually. Texting is more acceptable than calling people these days. People go months and months without seeing each other. You don’t have any family, and you don’t keep up with your foster families. I'll pay your bills and make it look like you're at home at our residence. So why would anyone be looking for you?”

 

“You won’t be able to pull it off,” Rey says doubtfully, although thinking about it, Gwen is probably right. “Don’t you have any moral qualms about kidnapping?”

 

“It feels more moral than ‘kill or be killed’ in this case. But as I’ve told you, the answers will have to come from Ben and Hux. Get some sleep, and you can ask them in the morning. Evie will be here in a few minutes with a tray for you, which I suggest you eat, and if you can’t sleep, she’ll give you something to help you. I have to get going, so goodnight. And I'll take good care of BeeBee, so don't worry about him.” Gwen gets up to leave.

 

“Wait! I don’t even know what this place is like. How many other patients are here? Are they dangerous?” Rey asks nervously.

 

Gwen looks at her strangely. “I thought you knew. You’re the only patient on this unit, and it will remain that way. Ben’s orders.”

 

Rey shakes her head in disbelief. “He wouldn’t be able to keep other patients out. They wouldn’t make any money. They aren’t making any money off of me; that’s for sure!”

 

“This is the Skywalker Clinic and Hospital. The Skywalker Foundation is run by Ben’s mother. When she retired, he became the Chief Medical Officer and CEO of the hospital. He owns it. They don’t need any more money, so he can basically do whatever he wants. And you gave them a very public and credible reason to hold you here, didn’t you?”

 

“I can’t believe you would go along with this,” Rey whispers.

 

“As they say on Facebook, ‘It’s complicated,’ Rey. I have to get some sleep now. I’ll see you in the morning. Don’t fight. Eat. Rest. You’ll talk to Ben when he’s ready.”

 

“When he’s ready?” Rey says incredulously. “He’s supposed to be my ‘doctor,’ but I only see him _when he’s ready?”_

 

“Dinner’s ready!” Nurse Evie announces cheerfully, bringing in an aromatic feast of steak, potatoes, and vegetables with apple pie for dessert and ice water. As she walks in, Phasma slips out.

 

“I can’t eat that,” Rey protests.

 

“Sweetie, the reason you’re feeling so weak is that you haven’t had food in almost two days. Try to eat some of it, okay? Take your time,” the sweet nurse coaxed her. “I have a psych tech who just came on who will sit outside your door the whole night and make sure you’re taken care of. A psych tech is like a nurse’s aide, only in psych wards they are called ‘psych techs,’” she explains.

 

“Great,” Rey says unenthusiastically. She might as well be in a maximum security prison. “Can I at least have my clothes back or something to wear besides this hospital gown?”

 

“Doctor’s orders for now, hon,” Evie says sympathetically. “But I’ll get you a second one you can wear around the back so you have something to cover your backside as well. It's going to be okay, I promise.” Her warm hand pats Rey's wrist reassuringly briefly.

 

The nurse leaves, a whiff of expensive perfume trailing in her wake, and Rey is left staring at the tray of food. With everything that was happening, the thought of eating revolts her. With nothing within her control, it is tempting to try to hide the food or flush it, but a sudden recall of portions and the scarcity of food on Jakku prompts her to try a few bites. In her former life, she would not turn down sustenance when it was offered. She eats about a quarter of it and then sets it to the side. At the corner of her room, she uses her fork to make a small vertical scratch on the wall to mark the first day of her imprisonment. She hopes there won’t be many more.

 

She steps into the bathroom and finds towels, soap, shampoo, conditioner, and everything she needs for hygiene with the exception of a razor. She makes use of all of it and then puts on the fresh hospital gowns Nurse Evie has left out for her and goes to lie down, thinking the night could not get any worse. Until she sees the psych tech, who is sitting in a chair in her open doorway, observing her.

 

Connix.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my incredible Beta, **[StarHorse7](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarHorse7/pseuds/StarHorse7)** , known as **[@starhorse](https://star-horse.tumblr.com/)** on Tumblr, for the beta read on this chapter! Your willingness to read and listen to my plot ideas and honest feedback are so invaluable!!! I appreciate you so much!
> 
> Thank you also to everyone who gave feedback in the last chapter! I'm forging ahead. I may add a backfill chapter later, but for now I just want to push on! 
> 
> So, you guys are nobody's fools, and Phasma, as you suspected, was in on it. Although truly, not all of the characters will remember their past lives. If they didn't have unresolved issues or hypnosis to awaken them, they are just quietly going about their present lives oblivious to the reincarnation stuff. More about Phasma coming up in future chapters. As she said, the answers really have to come from Ben and Hux. I'm working on the next chapter now. 
> 
> There wasn't very much of Ben in this chapter, but there will be in the next one. I wanted Rey/Reychelle to merge as one person and to take in her surroundings and the people on the ward. Nurse Evie will be a recurring character, although she isn't from the Star Wars movies. (She might be based on someone in the Reylo universe on Tumblr, though. I've done inserts before - wink.)
> 
> October is a REALLY great month where I live in the midwestern USA, so posting may take a little more time or the chapters may be shorter than usual so I can get you an update sooner. 
> 
> If you're a playlist person, here are some of the songs I am listening to while writing. [ The Hypnotist Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/user/catness1969/playlist/141YsStWY3Ue6AdGUWCxbQ?si=EFx2xBucQH6_i_Kae-ak0A) *In no particular order. 
> 
> I love hearing your feedback in the comments! Thank you to everyone who is still reading!! 
> 
> ~Pandora [ @pandoraspocksao3 ](https://pandoraspocksao3.tumblr.com/) . Come say hi on Tumblr!
> 
> I'm also on Twitter at [ @Pandora_SpocksAO3 ](https://twitter.com/Pandoraspocksa1/).


	14. The Return of the Jedi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey makes an escape attempt on a dark and stormy night...
> 
>  
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/51212640@N04/45296695721/in/dateposted-public/)  
> 

* * *

 

 

**_Connix_ **

 

Rey isn't sure why it should surprise her to see Connix sitting outside her room given all the other revelations of the day, but it does. She searches her memory to think if she had any connection to this girl who actually isn't much younger than she is but certainly acts more like a teenager than an adult. She has a vague feeling she might have known her but can't place her. Curious, she walks toward the doorway to confront her.

 

"Connix. What are you doing here?"

 

Connix remains sitting in her chair and crosses her arms.

 

"Working." She cocks her head at Rey.

 

"I see." Rey keeps her voice calm. She can't place Connix or the other nurse in her past life, but if she hopes to have an ally before Ben, Hux, and Phasma return, this girl is her only hope.  "So your job is to keep me in here? I didn't know you worked in the hospital, too."

 

"I work for Ben." Connix checks Rey's demeanor out as Rey is inspecting hers. "That was quite the melodrama in the office. Thanks for that. I normally don't have to work nights over here."

 

Rey glances down the empty hallway. Her mind is clicking fast, trying to figure out what Connix knows, who she is to her, and if she might be sympathetic toward her.

 

"Yeah, this afternoon was pretty strange," Rey says neutrally. "What did they tell you about me?"

 

Connix rolls her eyes and assumes the bored, sulky teenage look Rey has gotten to know over the past months. "Pretty much they confirmed what I saw for myself. Essentially they said you wigged out and had to stay here to be kept safe. Ben has been up here two days straight not sleeping; that's what I know. It wasn't 'this afternoon' that you staged your little scene. You've kept everyone running for the past 48 hours and managed to disrupt _my_ schedule, too. Thank you very little!" She appears annoyed.

 

Rey isn't sure she's buying this and is about to speak when Connix interrupts her.

 

"Save it, whatever you're going to say. Can we drop the act and be real here?"

 

Rey breathes a sigh of relief. Clearly Connix knows something. "That would be great."

 

Connix stares resentfully at Rey. "I'm sick of your shit, and I know what your game is. You weren't getting enough attention from Ben or it wasn't moving fast enough for you, so you did this whole 'victim' act in your session and freaked him out good. If I was presenting an Oscar, it would go to you. 'They think I'm from outer space!'" she mimics in a shrill imitation of Rey. "What a laugh. I don't even want to know what you thought up to get over here, but clearly you succeeded in wrapping Ben around your little finger again. What's the matter? Did you not realize he wouldn't be spending the night in your cozy little hospital room with you?"

 

 _There goes that chance of winning her over_. Clearly Connix doesn't know anything about a past life. But maybe there's still a chance she can work with this.

 

"You sound pretty pissed at me," Rey ventures.

 

Connix slouches back in her chair. "Yeah, you could say that. It is mind-numbingly boring to watch someone sleep, which you're supposed to be doing by the way. Plus I get to watch Ben fawn all over you and fall for your helpless little girl routine. I guess it didn't work on Poe, did it?"

 

"Poe?" Rey is starting to get an idea of why Connix sounds so hostile and blows so hot and cold toward her all the time.

 

"Um, yeah? Remember the gorgeous Latin lover you tossed after you met your hottie hypnotist? Did you decide that day to switch them out or were you just going to string them both along until you figured out which one you liked better?" Her resentment radiates off her.

 

"Which one would you have picked?" Rey desperately tries to figure out an angle that might work in her favor.

 

"Oh geez, what chance did I have with either of them with you doing your little victim routine?" Connix gripes.

 

"Does Ben know you like him?" Rey asks, comprehension dawning.

 

Connix merely glares at her.

 

"Did he ever hypnotize you?" Rey hopes there is some link between them. The girl seems familiar somehow, but if she was in her former life, it isn't someone she can place and must have been very different. But was she friend or foe?

 

"He tried," Connix smirks. "I'm not hypnotizable, though," she states almost proudly. "All he did was put me to sleep. Although I could listen to him talk for hours..." She looks down in embarrassment.

 

Rey nods understandingly. "I like his voice, too. You must have gotten close to him since you've worked with him for so long."

 

Connix's sulky look returns. "Things were starting to click before _you_ showed up. Clearly I should have done what you did and played the damsel card. Maybe I'd have got further with him. He's gone out with co-workers before, I think. Rumor has it he and Evie used to date. Not that she'll admit it. She dates some other good-looking guy now who looks like a young Richard Gere, so I guess she got tired of Ben. I'd have been a much better match for him, though. His mom _adores_ me," she emphasizes. "She's my godmother. She got me this job."

 

 _That explains why he never fired her,_ Rey thought, remembering how she'd puzzled over what such an unprofessional and moody kid was doing as Ben's receptionist. And Connix had developed a crush on him while she was working with him. _I can use this._

 

Quickly, Rey glances down the hallway, checking for Evie or Phasma. She can see Nurse Evie sitting in a relaxed manner behind the nurse's station with her Prada glasses on watching something on her phone. _Probably the Emmys._

 

"Connix, you're right." Rey leans in and speaks in a confidential tone. "Between you and me, I really did fall for Ben. But I sure blew it when I fell apart the other day. I knew it would make him hover around me more, but it doesn't feel right like this. I'm sure I could keep him around like this since he loves 'damsels' like you said, but honestly I'm bored with all the men in my life right now, and I guess I'm going to be stuck here now with him lavishing me with attention and trying to 'fix' me. I wish I could get out of here, honestly. I'm not sure how much more of Ben's affection I can take."

 

_There, let's see what she does with **that.**   _

 

Connix's eyes narrow. "I knew it. Bitch!"

 

Rey hangs her head in mock shame. "I know. I was wrong. I just got caught up in it. And he deserves better than me. I wish I could just go away and start my life over."

 

"You should have," Connix hisses.

 

Rey continues to shake her head ruefully. "I guess I can't undo it. Something tells me he wants to keep me here for a long time. He's gotten kind of obsessed with me, you know. Or my act, rather. I know if I left he'd move on with someone decent and good for him like you, and I'd probably find someone more suited to me, but I just screwed it all up."

 

"You sure _did,"_ Connix smirks.

 

"I guess there's no way out of here, is there? Do patients ever manage to escape from here if they want to leave?" Rey asks carefully.

 

Connix scrutinizes her silently. She may be young, but she's not stupid. She's debating, Rey thinks. She prays she's right about Connix.

 

"I know how _I'd_ do it if I wanted to escape," Connix says just as carefully, looking down at her fingernails. "All of these exits require a security badge to get the doors to open. If someone on staff dropped one, that would get you out of the building. You take a right and follow the sidewalks around the other psych ward buildings until you get to the main administration building. From there you can go down to the parking level. Then you have to figure out how to get home, but that would get you that far at least."

 

"Hmmm. Wonder what the chances of that happening are? And I'd need clothes. All I have are my hospital gowns and that bathrobe," Rey muses out loud.

 

"Well, it would be extremely obvious if you managed to get your old clothes _and_ a badge _and_ got out of here, plus someone is supposed to be watching you all the time right now," Connix points out. "I'm sure you'd have no trouble throwing me under the bus, but-"

 

"-No, no," Rey says hastily. "You're right, that would be too obvious. But...how long can you leave me in the shower without checking on me? Suppose I sent you to get a towel or something and I left the water running. Hypothetically, I mean," Rey hastens to add.

 

"Fifteen minutes," Connix answers thoughtfully, "although I could stretch it a bit more at night...and Evie has been known to set her badge down in the break room at times. If she thought she dropped it in your room, that lets me off the hook. "

 

"How mad would Ben be at her?"

 

"Not very. He'd get over it. But you can’t pull it off. You'd get caught trying to make a run for it in your hospital gown and bathrobe, even with the badge."

 

"Not if it's tonight while it’s dark," Rey says confidently, meeting Connix's eyes. "It has to happen fast, while Ben is catching up on his sleep."

 

"And before Phasma gets back. She might have some sympathy for you, but she thinks you need to be here and she won't be cool with you getting out."

 

"Agreed, before Phasma gets back. So when would I do this?"

 

Connix stares at her, apparently weighing the decision of her leaving and getting caught against possibly getting her out of her life for good. "You'd get out of town if you make it out?"

 

"Definitely," Rey replies emphatically.

 

"Evie's going to offer to switch off with me here in a bit for a few hours. If you can stay awake, I'll be back around 4:00 am. I'll either grab Evie's or drop my own badge and you can run the shower like you said. I can give you a 20-minute head start before I have to let security know.  They don't get here until 7:00 am, so you should have plenty of time to get out of here and then head whatever direction you're going - however you swing that part is on you. You better not be setting me up," Connix says suspiciously.

 

"I _promise_." Rey leans forward earnestly. "It's better for _all_ of us if I disappear."

 

"I hope so," Connix mutters. "I've got a bad feeling about this."

 

* * *

 

 

**_Phasma_ **

 

It is raining as Phasma gets out of her car. She slides her key into the lock and opens the door. She is expecting BeeBee to be waiting for her and ready to be fed. She promised Rey she would look after the cat. It is after dark, so she assumes the animal has gone to sleep on Rey's bed. She sees that the door to Rey's room is closed but slightly ajar. Opening it, she sees a figure stretched across the bed and gasps.

 

The moonlight streaming through the French doors reveals Ben Solo lying facedown on the bed with the furry orange and white cat curled upon his back. His face is buried in Rey's pillow. He is still fully clothed and hasn’t shaved in two days. He looks exhausted and sad. Phasma sees that the key she keeps under the mat is on the bedside table, which explains how he got in.

 

Quietly she shuts the door to Rey's room and lets Ben sleep. He looks like he is in worse shape than Rey. She deposits her purse on the hall table and enters the bathroom to shower, where she turns the water to the hottest temperature she can stand. After shedding her clothes, she steps under the spray and soaps her seven-foot tall body and scrubs her skin hard with a loofah. Toweling off, she pulls her robe around her and retires to her room. She knows she has to sleep fast so she will be ready for the morning shift, and so does Ben.

 

Her mind refuses to shut off as it normally does and let her sleep. Instead, her thoughts drift to her childhood when she was growing up. Phasma had always been an oddity among her classmates. She was abnormally tall even then and was used to cruel comments from the other kids. Words like "circus freak" and "giantess." Shunned by the other children, she immersed herself in her studies. When she turned 18, she tried to enlist in the army, thinking her height and muscle tone would be a welcome addition to the armed forces. However, a health inspection revealed a heart murmur she hadn't even known she had. It was just enough to keep her out of the military. Disappointed, she turned to the medical field and applied her knowledge toward nursing.

 

One night when she was working in the emergency room, a young red-headed Irishman came in for a foot injury. As she bandaged his ankle, they struck up a conversation. For the first time in her life, a man showed interest in Phasma. He seemed very intrigued by her. He asked her all sorts of questions about her life and then asked for her phone number before he was discharged.

 

The next night, over coffee, she learned Hux was a student at Cambridge University. He talked nonstop about his interest in hypnosis and how it had changed his life. He was training to be a hypnotist himself, along with his other studies, and asked if she would be a practice subject for him. At first she refused, feeling awkward and unsure of what hypnosis would be like. She found herself attracted to the friendly and earnest young man who didn't seem to care how tall she was. In fact, he frequently remarked on how beautiful she was with her naturally platinum hair and ice blue eyes. It was the only compliments and male attention she had ever received thus far.

 

He returned to England, but he emailed her constantly, and by the end of the year he sent her round-trip tickets so she could visit him. Hopeful that this might be the start of something new, she accepted the ticket and flew to England. At Cambridge, he introduced her to his roommate, Ren. At Hux's urging, she agreed to participate in a hypnosis session with Ren since her own sessions with Hux hadn’t been productive. Ren’s technique was much better. Trusting him because of Hux, she was a susceptible subject when Ben performed a past life regression on her. Soon, she remembered her past life as Captain Phasma. The memories were sharp and vivid. Although it was almost impossible to believe, both Hux and Ren figured prominently in her memory, and together they discussed their shared past in the First Order.

 

Finally, Phasma felt a sense of belonging. It wasn't quite the same as having friends, but the two men understood her and accepted her for who she was. They were connected by a past that only they could possibly understood. She had never felt accepted, even by her parents, who were busy and seemed disappointed by her odd build and antisocial personality. She had felt no sense of nurturing or love from them. All of life she had sought belonging, so when Ren and Hux returned to the Midwest United States and offered her a job, she accepted.

 

While she knew that Ren was fixated on finding the scavenger girl from his past, she had hoped that Hux might have a romantic interest in her. They had worked well together in their past life, and he had been proud of her work in the First Order. However, soon after she had moved and settled in her new home, he had announced plans to marry someone else. Phasma had swallowed her disappointment and concentrated on nursing. She avoided any gatherings where his wife might be present; she had no desire to meet her.

 

When Hux revealed he had joined the CIA, she had expressed her own interest in joining the covert organization and advancing so that she could achieve a greater ambition than being a nurse in Ren's psychiatric hospital. Promises were made by both Hux and Ren that they would help her achieve an enviable career in the CIA if she helped them with Rey, their common enemy.

 

The problem now is that Rey doesn't seem like an enemy to her. In fact, the galactic war from her past life seems more like a dream than a reality. In both lives, she had felt numb and only felt a sense of satisfaction when she was fulfilling orders or giving them. Rey is the first person she has encountered who treats her like she is a normal person. She was unaware of any plot and had included Phasma when she went out with her friends. She had even tried to fix her up with that traitorous FN–2187, but it was clear to her that Rey had no memory of who he was, let alone who she was. She was simply trying to be kind to her. Phasma had tried her hardest at the hospital that day to remember that Rey had fought on the opposite side, but instead, Phasma felt strangely uneasy participating in essentially holding Rey captive.

 

She had been briefed about the powers the girl might possess, although she had never seen any evidence of them while living with her. Hux had told her that this girl was responsible directly for the death of Kylo Ren and that her companions were responsible for her own death. He had said that if she was not contained, history would repeat itself and the scavenger girl could potentially be the death of them all. The girl she was rooming with, however, seemed more like a troubled young adult who was gradually finding her footing in life, not some powerful Jedi.

 

Although Phasma had trained herself in both lives to compartmentalize her feelings and bury them deep, she can't forget the look in Rey's eyes today. **_Betrayal._** Rey must feel her _friend_ has betrayed her. It is a strange concept for Phasma to grasp. She knows about loyalty. Loyalty from her soldiers, to her unit, to her commander...but not to a friend. She has not had experience with that.  

 

When FN-2187 turned traitor and defected, she had wondered where she had failed with the conditioning program. And when he killed her, it was the outcome of combat. She'd tried to kill him first, so it seemed fair. Unlike Ren, she doesn't have any interest in "evening the score" with her killer. But Rey...she feels something else about her. Compassion? Her former Supreme Leader would have been horrified to know that. She gets in bed quickly and hopes she will drop off to sleep fast before she can dwell on it further.

 

* * *

 

 

**_Rey_ **

 

Rey awakens with a start to the beam of a flashlight in her eyes. Connix puts a finger to her lips and indicates the time, then returns to her chair. It is almost 5:00 am. Rey knows she is going to have to hurry. She's overslept, and apparently Evie had sat with her a little longer than Connix had bargained for. It's now or never. She gets up and takes the ID badge Connix presses into her hand. She goes into the bathroom and starts the shower. She debates taking a blanket to wrap around her but decides against it. A white blanket would be too visible in the dark.  There is a short white bathrobe by the door, and she puts it on over her hospital gown and steps to the doorway of her room anxiously.

 

Connix whispers, "Evie's in the break room having her breakfast. I couldn't get her badge, so I left you mine. Hurry, and if you get caught, remember you told me to go get you a towel; that will explain why I didn't see you go into the shower and how you grabbed my badge. You've got 20 minutes before I have to tell Evie you're gone. Just keep turning right and follow the sidewalk until you get to the main building."

 

Rey nods and hurries down the hallway in her bare feet. Evie is still in the break room, thankfully. She gets to the first set of double doors on the side of the nursing station that lead to the outside and uses the badge to go through them. She swallows as she makes it safely through them without detection and then the second set of doors. She is outside now.

_Fuck._ _It's raining._ Hesitantly, Rey looks around. She can go right or left, and she turns right, hurrying along the side of the building. The covered walkway offers some protection from the rain, but a gust of wind nearly makes her shriek aloud as the cold water hits her bare arms and legs. It's chilly out, and Rey can see her breath as she exhales. Her bare feet are already freezing. The sidewalk curves and she is in front of another part of the building, a different unit. She scurries past it anxiously. She forgot to ask Connix how many employees were on the grounds. Or if security would be walking around.

_Crap._ She sees the glow of a cigarette at the corner of the next building and hastily backtracks. She stays still and flat against the side of the building until she sees the staff person stub out the cigarette and go inside the other building.  She hopes the main building won't have anyone there yet.

 

How many minutes has it been? She needs to hurry.

 

She moves as quickly and as silently as she can, trying not to feel the cold as rain soaks into her robe and hospital gown as another gust of wind whips around her. Her hair hangs in strands around her face, but she pushes it out of the way impatiently and gets past the other building. She can see the outline of the main building's tall roof ahead, and it appears dark. She breaks into a run as she turns around the next corner, keeping her head down to make sure she has solid footing.

 

There is a flash of lightning followed by a clap of thunder that nearly startles Rey out of her skin. She wasn't counting on a thunderstorm, but then she wasn't expecting any of this. She's getting closer. One more turn, and then she can get through the building. Then she just needs to get to one of the side roads and perhaps she can flag someone down to help her and give her a ride. She'll figure it out. She just needs to turn this corner and then-

 

She collides with a thud against something hard. At first she thinks she has smacked into a wall. She was running so fast that the force of it bounces her backward, and she braces herself for the fall to the concrete walkway. Before she topples over though, she feels warm hands clamp her upper arms and draw her back against a solid mass of darkness. A black trenchcoat. She inhales a familiar masculine smell.

 

"Whoa, there. Going a little fast, weren't you? Is that you, Connix?"

_It can't be._

 

Rey looks up, shivering, as the strong hands hold her out gently at arms' length to get a look at her. She swallows, heart in her throat as she meets his dark eyes.

_Kylo Ren._

 

"Rey?! What the hell?" He sounds confused as he takes in her soaked, shivering figure and bare feet.

 

She twists backward out of his grasp and takes a step back, panting. She glares at him.

 

"Rey," he breathes, recognizing the fire in her eyes, remembering another time a rain-soaked Rey met his gaze in the Force bond with a look like she's giving him now. For a long moment they stand there, staring at each other.

 

She doesn't back down. She can't. She's come this far, and she'll be damned if he's going to stop her now. Before he can react, she takes the one item she took with her off the unit and aims it at his face and squeezes with her finger before she has time to think or he has time to react.

 

Her aim is good, and it hits him right between the eyes. She whips around him as he staggers back. She drops the object as she runs with all her might for the administration building. She reaches it and slaps the badge against the panel and bolts through the double doors. She sprints through the overpass that leads to the clinic building instead of going downstairs toward the parking lot.

 

  
_I hope this works,_ she thinks desperately.

 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I value your comments and feedback! Thank you to all the wonderful readers following along and commenting! Sorry to have to end on a cliffhanger note, but part two is just too long to include. 
> 
> Huge thank you to my wonderful Beta, [ StarHorse7 ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarHorse7/pseuds/StarHorse7), known as [ @starhorse ](https://star-horse.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, who read this chapter during a busy work week for her and gave me feedback! She's amazing! So helpful to have someone to run a plot by before posting. Thank you, my friend, for the time you take to help me.
> 
> I'm on Tumblr [ @pandoraspocksao3 ](https://pandoraspocksao3.tumblr.com/) . 
> 
> I'm also on Twitter at [ @Pandora_SpocksAO3 ](https://twitter.com/Pandoraspocksa1/).
> 
> Come say hi!
> 
> If you're interested, here are some of the songs I am listening to while writing. Music helps me write. The very first song, "How Can I Remember," is what prompted me to write this story. [ The Hypnotist Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/user/catness1969/playlist/141YsStWY3Ue6AdGUWCxbQ?si=EFx2xBucQH6_i_Kae-ak0A) *In no particular order.


	15. Katana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/51212640@N04/45503025181/in/dateposted-public/)   
> 

 

_Rey always shoots first._

 

Ben rubs his eyes as they sting and burn, ruefully thinking that the past has apparently taught him nothing. Of course Rey would escape and find a weapon on her very first night after she awoke. He can’t see. _Pepper spray?_ No, he’s not hurting enough for that. He steps off the covered walkway and into the pouring rain, letting the water wash out his eyes. It takes him a minute, but the damage doesn’t seem as bad as he initially thought. He leans down to pick up the weapon she’d aimed at him and almost laughs when he sees what she’s bested him with.

 

 

L’Oreal Paris Elnett Satin Hairspray, Extra Strong Hold.

 

_A travel-size can of kriffing hairspray!_

 

He groans. He’d told Evie he’d appreciate it if she could put some hair care products, bath gels, fancy soaps, and cosmetic items in Rey's bathroom to make her stay more comfortable, and he’d given the nurse plenty of money so that she could get whatever she thought Rey would like. Evie was a "girlie girl" who took great pride in her appearance. Apparently she thought her patient would enjoy spending time doing her hair. On the unit, hairspray would not be considered a weapon.

 

He turns in the direction Rey had run and sees her disappearing into the administration building. She has a head start on him, but his extra-long legs are already working like pistons as he races after her. He arrives at the ad building quickly and badges himself in. In the foyer, he hesitates, wondering which way she went. To the parking level? The wet prints of her feet have left their mark on the tile floor, and he follows them to the elevator. Pressing the "up" button, he notices it descends from the floor where his office is, so he deduces she has gone there to hide.

 

This should make it easier to catch her, but if there’s anything he’s learned by now, it’s not to underestimate Rey.

 

* * *

 

Rey speeds out of the elevator down the hallway to Ben’s office. She knows if she had gone to the parking level she’d have been an easy target for the police to pick up in her hospital gown and robe. Since she can’t escape on foot, she needs a weapon, a _real_ weapon, and there’s one place she can think of to get one.

 

She reaches Suite #66 and mutters a quick prayer, holding Connix’s badge up to the pad by the door. Thankfully, it works, and the door opens when she turns it. She hurries through the opposite door to the inner hallway that leads to the offices beyond the reception area. She tries Ben’s door and finds it unlocked. She lets herself in and then quickly locks it behind her. Her eyes dart around the room. It’s still dark outside except for the flashes of lightning, and the blinds are pulled closed. She flips the light switch on, which are set to the dimmest level.

 

Immediately she sees the bright red abstract canvas painting in front of her. She stares at it and has a blinding realization. It’s the throne room where she and Ben fought Snoke together! How could this not have jogged her memory? _No wonder he wanted me to look at it the first time I came here._ The two grey figures in the middle are clearly meant to represent her and Ben, and the red figures around them are the Praetorian Guard.

 

Rey tears her gaze away from the canvas when she hears the rapid thudding of footsteps in the outer hallway. _He's found me already!_ She tenses as the handle jiggles, but since she locked it, thankfully it doesn’t open. She hears him curse and then hears the jangling of keys. She knows she doesn’t have very long.

 

The framed katanas are next to the painting, the ones he told her were a collector’s item: Samurai swords used in feudal Japan. She feels around the frame of the glass case for some kind of latch to open it, but her fingers don't brush against anything but smooth wood along the sides. She doesn’t have time for that anyway. She yanks the case off the wall and hurls it to the floor. There is a crash and the tinkling of glass. Behind her, she hears a key being inserted into the lock. She bends down and heaves the case over, reaching through the shattered glass frame to grab one of the katanas. She pries it out just as the door gives way with a splintering of wood as he kicks it in.  

 

She backs away from the door, dragging the katana after her. She winces as her bare foot steps on something sharp, but she has too much adrenaline to give it any thought as she stumbles back to Ben’s desk as his tall, dark-clad figure bursts into the room.

 

* * *

 

Ben rides the elevator to his office floor. The wet footprints on the floor of the elevator confirm she was there. As he exits the elevator, his phone rings.

 

“Solo,” he barks impatiently.

 

He hears the frantic voice of Nurse Evie on speaker.

 

“Doctor, I hate to tell you this, but the patient got hold of Connix’s badge and left the unit. Shall I call security and the police?”

 

“No! Absolutely not. Listen to me, Evie. Tell Connix to be discreet about this. When Phasma arrives bring her up to speed, but do _not_ tell anyone else Rey escaped. If anyone else comes in, like Dr. Huxley, I want you to tell them I came in early and took her to my office to talk. That’s where we are. I'll handle it from here, and you and Connix can go home when Phasma gets in. Is that clear?”

 

“Yes, Doctor.”

 

 _And don't buy any more products in aerosol cans,_ he almost adds.

 

Ben ends the call and gets out of the elevator. His trench coat is soaked, but so is Rey, apparently. She has dripped a trail up to the outer door to the lobby of his office and must have used Connix's badge to let herself inside. He uses his own badge to enter the lobby area and hurries through it to the door to the back hallway that leads to his office. He isn’t sure why she has fled there except that dawn is on the horizon, and she must have realized she wouldn’t get far in her hospital gown and thin robe in the freezing rain. Maybe she thinks he won’t be able to track her here and will be out searching for her on the street.

 

_Oh no, you don't. We're not done yet._

 

He reaches his office, which he normally keeps unlocked since the outer lobby door is locked outside of business hours. Upon trying to turn the handle, he finds it won't budge. This door he needs a key for instead of his badge, and unfortunately he has a large number of keys on his key ring. Cursing, he goes through them until he locates the key to his office. He hears a loud crash and the shattering of glass inside just before he inserts his key into the lock. _What the hell did she just do?_ It isn't the correct key, and it won't turn. Impatiently, he steps back and then uses a karate kick that smashes the door from the frame so that it swings open.

 

* * *

 

Rey's heart beats frantically as he skids into the room after crashing the door open. She backs up until she feels the edge of his desk behind her. A flash of lightning illuminates his tall form ominously. She swallows as he skids to a stop and just stares at her silently. He slowly undoes the belt of his black trench coat. He shrugs his massive shoulders and it falls to the ground. His normally tidy locks are wet from the rain. His damp clothing clings to his form and she feels a familiar ache as she returns his stare hungrily.

 

 _No,_ she tells herself firmly. _He is your enemy._

She remembers now that the key to mastering the Force is not to be afraid, to be calm, to stay centered. There may or may not be a Force on Earth, but it's a good tactic in any case. She lifts the katana up in the air and cautiously tries to twirl it like she would a lightsaber. But the sword is curved and heavier and different than a lightsaber, and Rey isn't sure how to wield it. She brazens it out and holds it in front of her in a defensive position, curling her lips back over her teeth as a warning.

 

**"Stay back."**

 

A range of emotions pass over his face. Excitement at seeing the old Rey as she strives for a warrior pose, heartbreak at losing the innocence and sweetness of Reychelle's trust, caution as he sees her raised sword, and calculation as he assesses her mental state. There is a softness in those brown eyes that she remembers when he extended his hand to her and asked him to join him, and the trembling lower lip as he'd said,

 

"...Please."

 

Rey can't help but tear up a little as she remembers that moment of elation and then sorrow. All the memories of him, past and present, flood her brain at once and she sways slightly as feelings overwhelm her. The sword is becoming heavy in her raised arms, and they shake a little with fatigue and cold from her rain-soaked clothes.

 

Ben takes a step closer to her, and she struggles to keep the katana aloft.

 

 **"I said stay back! I mean it!** Stay where you are, or I'll use this," she threatens.

 

"Rey," he says placatingly, arms raised in a nonthreatening manner as he takes another small step in her direction, "Put the sword down. I'm not here to hurt you. It's just us now."

 

 _Oh God,_ she thinks, remembering when she last heard that chilling sentence.

 

"Get **back** ," she stresses, adrenaline coursing through her as she brings the sword down on the closest chair and splits the cushion open. She hasn't got the hang of it yet, and she has to struggle to pull the blade back from where it is stuck in the wood underneath the seat cushion.

 

Ben uses that moment to grab the other katana from the floor in one swift motion. The black turtleneck he is wearing is molded from the dampness to his impressive biceps and rock-hard abs. His eyes never leave hers as he deftly twirls the saber around him in a series of expert moves, showing off his ability to wield it.

 

"You can't win this time, Rey," he says gently. "Let's both put the katanas down and talk...I just want to talk. I don't want to hurt you."

 

Rey regains possession of the katana from the chair and takes a step back and takes a practice swing at the blinds covering the window, slashing them in half. As if on cue, lightning crackles across the sky behind her through the now exposed window pane. She swings the katana in an arc in front of her to keep him at bay.

 

"Do you really believe that?" she taunts him. "Remember that scar you had on your face? I didn't know how to use a lightsaber back then, either. Do you want to gamble that I can't catch on as quickly with this sword?"

 

It's a bluff. Rey feels the tingling in her arms as she fights to hold it steady. Her spirit is willing, but her upper body strength is not where it needs to be to support the sword, and it is getting heavier.  

 

Ben cocks his head at an angle. "So...you still want to kill me?"

 

Rey inhales sharply as she remembers where he'd first said that to her. It frightens her as she realizes she is as trapped now as she was then. Except now there is no Force to help her. Still, she'd found a way out of that situation back then, and she isn't going to stop trying now. She hopes her fear isn't showing on her face. 

 

"Why not? I'm still being hunted by a creature in a mask, only the 'mask' is 'Ben Solo,' when underneath it all along you've been... **Kylo Ren."**

 

With that, she raises the katana high over her head, arms quivering. She knows it will be the only strike she can make. She lunges forward and brings the blade down swiftly, aiming at his outstretched arm.

 

* * *

 

Ben hopes his gentle yet resilient girlfriend of the past few months will win out over the recovered memories of her alter ego, but he is prepared for combat with Rey of Jakku. He swiftly moves to the side and parries her sword as it comes crashing down toward him. Their blades lock. Their eyes meet. She has that look again, just like she did in the forest. There is something primal about this moment as he remembers their previous battles. He feels the rush of being in combat with her again. He also feels.. _.lust_. With a violent upward thrust of his katana he disarms her, the force of his sword ripping hers from her grip and up into the air until it falls with a clatter to the ground behind his desk.

 

He sees that her eyes are filled with defiance as he stalks toward her, still holding his katana at his side. She backs away and stumbles over the reclining sofa, falling backward upon it. He drops his sword and continues to advance. He puts a muscular arm on either side of her torso, scooting her up on the sofa and caging her there, hovering above her, his face just inches from hers.

 

"I am **Ben Solo.** You used to call me Ben, even back then. Remember? Have I done anything to harm you since you've known me?" he rumbles angrily.

 

He feels the fury of her betrayal from before and anger that it always comes to this with Rey. Once again she found a weapon to attack him with instead of talking to him. The unfairness of it all fuels his anger even as the nearness of her small frame underneath him arouses him. A clap of thunder seems to underscore the storm raging inside him.

 

"Abduction, for starters," snaps Rey, her eyes narrowing. "How about mind control? Manipulation? Planting my roommate, who I thought was a _friend_ , to do what, spy on me? Teaming up with that creep, Hux, to imprison me so the government can study me like I'm some sort of...alien?"

 

Ben clenches his teeth in frustration. It's complicated. And did she forget the part where he saved her life? She's not going to forgive him today. _What the fuck, shouldn't she be the one asking for forgiveness?_ He pushes himself away from her and towers above her on the recliner as he stands.

 

"What about you?" he says accusingly. "You didn't just fucking try to kill me, you _succeeded._ Do you really not remember what you did, or were you just too ashamed to tell me? Don't act all self-righteous with me, Rey. I know what you did."

 

Finally. Finally she is here and he can confront her and get some _answers._

 

"What the fuck is it you think I did?" Rey mimics his cursing as she struggles to sit upright on the recliner and swing her legs over the side of it.

 

He bats her legs back onto the recliner with one powerful swipe of his left arm. With his right, he pushes her back against the pillows and leans over her again so that she's looking directly at his face.

 

 _"Murderer,"_ he hisses at her.

 

She looks confused but also pissed off.

 

"Murderer? That's really rich, coming from you of all people," she scoffs. "How many people did you kill during your lifetime? And spare me your indignation. You tried to kill _me._ You fired on the Millennium Falcon. You knew I was flying it. Who else would it be? You knew I would go to Crait. In fact, I believe we picked up your frequency. What did you say to your minions? _'Blow that hunk of junk out of the sky!'_ And then you told Luke you'd destroy me. Oh yes, I know about that. Your mother and your uncle have a telepathic bond, you know. Leia told me what you said about me."

 

"You don't deny it, then!" His voice is louder than the clap of thunder outside that follow his exclamation. So Hux was right. And all those doe-eyed glances at him from before were just a manipulation on _her_ part. And she has the nerve to accuse _him_ of manipulation! 

 

Rey doesn't back down and leans forward, not intimidated.

 

"I don't remember what happened after I boarded the Falcon. I honestly don't **know** if I killed you or not. If I did, you deserved it after trying to kill all of us. You really _are_ a monster," she snarls.

 

Ben recoils at that and backs away from the sofa. He couldn't think that day; he had been so enraged. But she has a point. He _had_ told his troops to fire at the Falcon. He had known she was probably on it or with the others at Crait, yet he'd gone ahead and given the order. He'd been conditioned to channel his hurt and rejection into hate, and in the haze of that anger, he'd rashly declared no mercy on any of them. Even the Falcon, which he figured she was piloting. Maybe she had killed him in self-defense.

 

But wait...she still isn't remembering. He wants to know what happened after he saw her, the moment after the door to the Falcon closed in his face and his father's dice disappeared from his glove because it all goes black after that memory. He's heard one version of it from Hux. He wants to know what she was thinking and feeling when she did it. He wants to know if it's true she and the pilot had laughed about it later. If she and the pilot were together like Hux had described. If she really bragged to Hux about how she used the Force Bond connection to make him think she had feelings for him, when in truth it was just about defeating the First Order. He's replayed that scenario in his imagination so many times, and it always causes him agony. He isn't sure he can stand hearing it from her lips, but _he needs to know._

 

"Yes," he replies coldly, a fierce expression on his face, _"Yes, I am a monster._ You'd better remember that before you try to kill me again. It doesn't bode well for you if you fail."

 

She shivers at his words and seems to go pale, he observes with some satisfaction. He'll show her what happens when she betrays him! She-

 

He sees the blood for the first time. Splotches of it are everywhere. There is a dark red stain at the foot of the reclining couch and on the carpet.

 

His anger leaves him swiftly as he notices with alarm that Rey's eyes aren't focusing. She's starting to shiver in her wet robe and hospital gown uncontrollably. She looks as though she might be going into shock.

 

_Kriff, did I cut her somehow with the katana? But I didn't, I know I didn't. I didn't hurt her. I just knocked the sword out of her hand._

He kneels at her side quickly and looks for wounds. He takes her hands gently in his and turns them over. No signs of blood. She is limp under his handling and doesn't respond. His gaze travels down her bare legs, and then he sees it. Her left foot is dripping blood even now. He runs his hands down her legs and sees the piece of glass sticking out of the sole of her left foot.

 

_Oh Force, what have I done?_

 

He looks for something to stem the flow of blood. Not seeing anything he can use for a dressing, he quickly pulls the turtleneck he is wearing over his head. He gently extracts the glass and turns her foot, looking for other cuts, but that seems to be the only source. He quickly wraps his shirt around it tightly. He inspects her other foot and gently lifts her limbs to see if she is cut anywhere else. Thankfully, it seems like that is the only one.

 

"Rey, listen to me. Can you hear me?" He's desperate for her to answer him.

 

He puts his hands on her shoulders and gives her a gentle shake. Her eyes remain unfocused and she lies there passively. Her skin feels cold, and he spies a grey throw blanket. He gets up and grabs it swiftly and returns to Rey. He slips an arm under her back and leans her forward so he can wrap the blanket around her. She's still shivering. Impulsively, he scoops her up in his arms and holds her close to his warm, bare chest.

 

"Rey, tell me you're okay. Speak to me, sweetheart."

 

She looks so fragile in his arms as her head lolls limply on his shoulder. He sits down with her and holds her close. Her shivering gradually ceases and she looks up at him and her eyes finally focus.

 

"Rey, I'm going to lay you back down here and get my medical kit and clean your foot up, okay? I'm going to get you another blanket to warm you up."

 

He finds the other throw and uses it to cover her from neck to feet. He gets the medical kit he always keeps in his office and finds alcohol wipes, antiseptic ointment, and dressings. He returns to her side and kneels, murmuring softly to her as he cleans and bandages her foot. He finishes and cradles her foot as he kneels beside the sofa. Her eyes are studying him, but she hasn't said another word. He closes his eyes as he thinks of what could have happened if the glass or the sword had cut her. If she'd stayed out in the storm and gotten hurt and no one found her. She's so tough and yet so delicate, it makes his heart ache. He bows his head over her feet.

 

_Rey, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you._

 

He feels something brush his damp hair in a soothing manner.

 

_I know._

He raises his head, not sure if he'd thought the last two words or if they'd come from her thoughts.

 

Her color looks better, although she looks tired, and her hand is stroking his hair. Their eyes meet, and he feels like he is looking at Reychelle and Rey combined. She has the same loving gaze in her eyes before everything had gone to hell before. He longs to take her in his arms and kiss her.

 

**"Get away from her!"**

 

It takes a moment for the voice to register. The next thing he knows, he is sprawling backward from his kneeling position onto his back, and his jaw is aching from the right hook he has just received.

 

His chief nurse has just knocked him on his ass.

 

"What did you do to her?" Phasma says over her shoulder. She is quickly and expertly looking Rey over. She uncovers Rey's legs and makes sure there are no other sources of bleeding. She examines the bandaged foot.

 

"She- she escaped from the unit and I followed her here and then-"

 

" **Shut up.** Where is she hurt besides her foot? What the hell did you do to her, Ben?"

 

Phasma's voice cracks like a whip.

 

"I- I don't think she's cut anywhere else. I didn't do it! She stepped on the glass," he says, taking in the room for the first time. The crashed case on the floor, the chair Rey hacked almost in half, glass everywhere, two 6-foot long katanas lying haphazardly on the floor, and the trail of blood Rey had left as she moved about the room staining the carpet. It looks like a war zone. And Phasma thinks he started it.

 

Gwen looks over her shoulder at him from where she's crouching and holding Rey's foot in her hands. "Gee, Ben, you think? Obviously you don't. I don't want to hear your excuses right now. Get off your butt, find me a stethoscope and blood pressure cuff and bring them to me. And make sure the office is locked so no one else sees this mess," she orders.

 

She turns back to Rey. "It's okay, honey. Gwen's here. I'm going to make sure you're safe. I'm sorry. I wish I'd never agreed to this."

 

Ben awkwardly gets to his feet.

 

"You _decked_ me," he says in wonderment, holding his jaw and testing it to make sure it wasn't dislocated.

 

Phasma turns to him with her ice-blue eyes and stands, straightening to her full height, which is taller than even he is.

 

"And I'm going to knock you back on your ass again if you don't do what I say. She hasn't eaten much for the past two days and she's been running around in freezing rain barefoot in a bathrobe! We need to get her back to the unit and make sure she's okay. Honestly, I'd be so **done** with you I wasn't so embroiled in this clusterf*ck. I sent Connix and Evie home so they won't see this, but I hope you know some people who will come fix your office without asking too many questions. You're lucky Hux isn't in yet. He's just waiting for an excuse to relocate her."

 

Ben nods. She's right, as usual. Silently, he gets the items she requested and hands them to her. Rey has an odd expression on her face, as if she's not sure if she's going start laughing or not. She seems to be taking in everything they are saying.

 

He surveys the damage to the room and feels an odd sensation of pride that even without the Force, Rey is still a woman to be reckoned with. Despite everything Hux told him, he feels proud of her for how she handled herself. He loves her fierceness. He looks away from her so the lust won't be as evident in his eyes. He hates that he still desires her so much. He hates that she brings out emotions in him he didn't know he had. He hates that he is so relieved she is alright. To love someone who wants you dead is not easy, he reflects.

 

She is the Light he will fly to like a moth, again and again, until it kills him.

 

He still wants answers from her, but they will have to come later.

 

 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you think? Your comments have been so much fun to read! I want to thank everyone who share their thoughts and continue to follow this story! 
> 
> I wish all of you happy holidays during these months as well! You guys have been so fantastic with your comments and encouragement! Thank you! 
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> Come say hi!


	16. Fifty Shades of Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/51212640@N04/45878366662/in/dateposted-public/)   
> 

Rey is resting comfortably in her bed, snuggled under the fluffy duvet with her feet elevated.  After returning with Phasma and Ben to the unit, she took a nap and then binged for a bit on "Game of Thrones" for a while on the 55-inch flatscreen TV mounted on the wall. She notes she has all the premium channels on the television. After eating a big breakfast, she feels refreshed from last night's duel, and her bandaged foot isn't causing her any discomfort.

 

She hadn't  seen any sense in struggling with them when Ben and Phasma brought her back to the unit. Ben isn't the only one who wants answers.  For now, it makes sense for her to stay on the unit where both of them are to find out just what is going on.

 

Rey turns to the view outside her open door. She can see but not hear Phasma and Ben sitting on the sofas in the center of the patient lobby area. They appear to be talking. She is about to get out of bed to confront them with her questions when she sees someone enter the unit through the glass double doors. She feels anger course through her veins when she sees who it is.

 

_Hux._

 

* * *

 

 

"Ren. What is the meaning of all the ruckus going on in the main building? Why are there workmen in your office area?"

 

Ben gives Hux an irritated look and snaps at him.

 

"It's none of your business, but I decided while my attention will be on the hospital unit and I won't be using the office there, this is as good a time as any to remodel. The decor could use an update."

 

Hux looks at him suspiciously. "A _remodel_ is what you're thinking about when you've got the girl to deal with? Why would you do that now?"

 

Gwen speaks in a bored tone.

 

"Really, Hux, I'm surprised that you're so shocked. Think it through. If Ben isn't in his office doing hypnotherapy for however long she's up here, how odd does _that_ look to the other clinicians? An office remodel is the perfect excuse for him to be spending all his time on the hospital wing. And it _was_ outdated. It needs some color. I've been on him for months to redo it."

 

Hux still appears unconvinced. He stares hard at Ben. "Why do you have a bruise on your cheek?"

 

"He walked into a door," Gwen replies helpfully. "Those glass doors are a bitch in a rainstorm, aren't they, Boss?"

 

"Why are you here, anyway?" Ben asks him testily, ignoring his question. "I banned you from the unit. You seem to have a great deal of difficulty remembering who's in charge here."

 

"And _you_ seem to have a great deal of difficulty remembering who I am now! I'm a CIA agent, Ben, and all I have to do is say the word and I can have her transferred to a facility of my choosing if you interfere with me," he says menacingly.

 

Phasma gives a subtle shake of her head at Ben and turns to Hux, rising to her full height.

 

"Really, boys, don't expect me to get the ruler and measure them if you're going to whip them out. Hux, you destroyed all the trust between Ben and Rey when you went into her room and induced a panic attack before. How the devil do you think she's going to remember anything or cooperate if she doesn't trust Ben? Who's going to hypnotize her? You? She definitely hates you, and you know you can't be hypnotized if you aren't willing. Ben did the right thing in ordering you off the unit. All you did was screw up your own cause."

 

Ben glares at him.

 

"She's absolutely right. And what happened to the gentle pep talk from before about how you could walk away if I wanted to repress her memories and keep her from remembering her past life? Not that I do," he adds, "but I don't appreciate the threatening tone you're taking. All of a sudden, you're acting more like a tyrant instead of someone who is supposedly looking out for my interests. It makes me wonder," he says, eyes narrowing, "if everything you told me was the truth."

 

Hux instantly backs down and appears penitent.

 

"Ren, you _know_ I'm your friend.   _Both_ of yours," he emphasizes, looking at Phasma as well. "Who _else_ can know what we went through being defeated in the First Order together? I'm only looking out for all of us. You know the prophecy. History will repeat itself again, and she is the bringer of our destruction in this life as well," Hux says in a lower tone. "I want you to _use_ my resources. I'm _begging_ you to! The knowledge and power I have through my position in the CIA can save all three of us."

 

Hux turns and leans in closer to Ben.

 

"Speak to Rey, but you need to clear the fog of lies she has told you that clouds your judgment. Let me help you get to the truth. Remember what they taught us at university? If one is to understand the great mysteries of life, one must study _all_ sides. If you only see Rey's narrow-minded point of view, it will prevent you from seeing the bigger picture of what we are trying to accomplish. Keep that in mind when you talk to her."

 

Hux smiles almost paternally at Ben and pats him on the wrist. Then he stands up and strides to the doorway, exiting the unit.

 

Phasma exchanges a look with Ben.

 

"What the hell was that last part about?" mutters Phasma.

 

"It sounds like something he's said before, maybe recycled from one of his old lectures he used to give to students when he was teaching," Ben frowns. "He studied a lot of philosophy about reincarnation,  understandably. It sounds like he regurgitated something from one of his books."

 

"Sometimes he gives me the creeps," Phasma says bluntly.

 

Ben laughs. "I thought you were sweet on him before you came back to America."

 

Phasma shrugs. "He's really good at seducing people when he wants to be."

 

"He's also wise sometimes, let's not forget that," Ben cautions. "We wouldn't have remembered who we were if he hadn't found us and helped us recall our past selves through hypnosis."

 

"Sometimes I think you get a bit blinded by people, Ben. You used to say someone _else_ was wise, a long time ago," she says, scrutinizing him closely.

 

Ben scoffs. "If you're implying Hux is a reincarnation of Snoke, may I remind you that wouldn't be possible, seeing as they existed in the same lifetime together?"

 

"No, not Snoke, but he knows Snoke had a mental hold on you, so maybe he pulls that 'I'm your daddy' tone of voice around you when he wants to make you see things his way. On some subliminal level, maybe you respond to it. He knew Snoke well enough to imitate him."

 

"So you're saying you don't trust Hux now?"

 

Phasma gives him a wintry smile.

 

"I never trust anybody."

 

* * *

 

Rey looks up from her bed to see Ben leaning casually in the doorway.

 

"Rey, I was hoping you'd come with me to my office on the unit so we could talk," he says.

 

"Why can't we talk here?" she asks suspiciously.

 

"Because it's about time for Connix and Evie to come on for the evening shift, and I'd prefer to talk privately. I can ask Gwen to accompany us if you're afraid to be alone with me."

 

Rey bristles at that. "I'm not _afraid_ of you. In fact, why don't you bring along the katanas and let's finish what we started."

 

Ben breaks into a smile, something he hasn't done since having to lock her up.

 

"No more katanas in a work or hospital setting. Or hairspray. I've learned my lesson on that front. I just want to talk in private, honest."

 

Rey hesitates a moment.

 

"Okay."

 

"Do you need some help walking since your foot is bandaged?" he asks, entering the room and offering her his hand.

 

"No! It was annoying enough having you carry me back this morning."

 

"I rather enjoyed that. I'd be happy to repeat it," he smirks.

 

She glares at him and slides out of bed until her feet are resting on the ground. She rises to a standing position and hesitantly took a few steps forward. She wobbles a bit, but manages to walk on her own.

 

"Lead the way, Doctor." She stumbles a bit and he is instantly at her side, lending her his arm for support.

 

"It's not far. Can you stand holding onto my arm for that long at least? I could get you a wheelchair if you prefer," he says courteously.

 

She doesn't reply, but she grudgingly slips her arm through his for support.

 

* * *

 

 

Rey sits in Ben's office across from him as he settles in the chair behind his desk.

 

"I can have Phasma come in if you would be more comfortable," he says, repeating his earlier offer.

 

"No thanks, I'm good. However, it would make _you_ feel more comfortable, you can call her in," Rey snaps, her chin jutting out defiantly.

 

 _Good,_ Ben thinks. _She must be feeling better if she's this feisty._ He observes her drawing her legs up under her and realizes she must be cold in only the hospital gowns.

 

"I think I'll try to save what's left of my face from Phasma's fists if you're okay with that. How's your foot, and how's your dizziness?" He stands suddenly and walks over to her. He grabs his now dry long black trench coat off a hook and gently lays it across her lap. She flinches away from him, and he frowns, returning back to his chair so that the desk is between them again.

 

"What's it matter?" Rey asks sulkily, spreading the coat over herself like a blanket. Her mutinous face makes it clear to him he isn't going to get answers from her easily.

 

"It matters very much to me," he says softly. "I don't know how much you understand about why I brought you here, but my intent was never to harm you. I don't know if it registered last night, but as I told you, you killed me in our past life and from what he's studied of reincarnation, Hux thinks there's a good chance you'll try to do it again in this life. But before I go into any more about that, will you please just let me know if you're feeling lightheaded? I know Phasma said you ate something this morning and she set up an IV drip to balance out your electrolytes and rehydrate you, and your CBC labs came back normal, so you aren't anemic from blood loss, but please tell me how you feel physically."

 

Rey scowls at him.

 

"I'm getting tired of being poked with needles, although apparently I can't stop you from doing it. But yes, I feel fine. Better than this morning," she concedes, "although my foot still hurts when I walk on it."

 

"There was an antibiotic in the IV this morning, so that should help it heal faster," he responds. "I'm glad you ate something and got some sleep. I'm sorry about the needles, but we had to know if something serious was wrong with you. We shouldn't have to do that again. If I can do anything to make you more comfortable while you're here, just tell me," he says earnestly, trying to think of anything he can do to make her situation more tolerable. It hurts to see her looking at him with such disdain.

 

"Worried you'll lose your five-star hotel rating?" she asks sarcastically. "The flatscreen TV is nice, the high thread-count sheets are very nice, and the gourmet food is a nice touch. There's just one problem. _You are holding me here against my will,"_ she grinds out.

 

Ben leans forward on his desk, feeling every bit as frustrated as he imagines she does. "I didn't want to do this. I know you don't believe that, but again, there is good cause to believe you'll try to kill all of us again," Ben says firmly.

 

" _Liar!"_ Rey snarls suddenly, her eyes flashing. "You aren't telling the whole truth. I remember what Hux said about conducting experiments on me and moving me to a secret military base. And you...there's something else besides fear of me attacking you that led you to do this." She is quiet for a moment, staring at him intently, as if she can read his thoughts. "Revenge," she whispers, pulling back a bit in horror. "You think I killed you, and you want to hurt me. Don't deny it."

 

Ben bows his head, then laces his fingers together and props his chin up on his elbows and looks at her directly across the desk.

 

"At first, yes. I wanted revenge against you. I never planned to hurt you physically, but when Hux said he could find you and use your psychic abilities to aid the government, I thought what better punishment could there be than for you to be unable to run away like you always do?"

 

Rey shook her head. "Need I remind you that you were trying to kill me?"

 

Ben frowned. "If I'd wanted you dead, I wouldn't have brought you back for interrogation. I wouldn't have let you win on Starkiller."

 

"Oh puhlease-"

 

"All I had to do was push you over the crevice that opened up on Starkiller. But what did I do? I offered to teach you the ways of the Force!" he said angrily.

 

"Maybe, but I beat you once I tapped into the Force. And I could have killed you once you were down, but I didn't," she said heatedly.

 

"No, but you _left_.  Just like you left me for dead on the Supremacy," he accused.

 

"I can't believe I'm hearing this! Is that what you think?" Her voice rose an octave. "Ben, you killed your own father and then attacked Finn and I. Then I went to you in an escape pod to the Supremacy once we'd started talking. I thought I could bring you back to the Light, but you kept talking about ruling the Galaxy, so once the lightsaber broke apart and knocked us out, I woke up first. I made sure you were alive and tried to drag you to the ship, but you were too heavy and someone was coming, so I knew you'd be found, and yes, I left. I went to help my friends on Crait."

 

"And why did you reach for your lightsaber? You would have fought me again. I offered you everything I had - I offered you the Galaxy, and you betrayed and tricked me by reaching for your lightsaber when I thought you were going to take my hand!" He turned his head slightly so she couldn't see the hurt in his eyes, but his wounded pride was evident in his voice.

 

"Ben, you weren't being rationale or even humane. My friends were being _slaughtered_ by the First Order! You fought against your own mother-"

 

"I didn't think she was at Crait! I saw her die! I wasn't going to fire on her, but before I could stop it, one of the other ships fired upon the bridge. There was no way she could have survived that. I'm still not sure you are remembering that correctly."

 

"Well, she _was_. And I could have taken your lightsaber or a Praetorian guard's weapon and finished you off if I wanted to kill you after we struggled for the lightsaber, but I didn't. I left because I couldn't stay. You were making a choice I couldn't agree with. What did you think??"

 

Ben half stood, eyes burning. "I thought...I thought if you weren't _with_ me, you were _against_ me."

 

Rey put a hand to her ear as if listening to something. "Wait, I'm getting a telepathic phone call...yes, it's President George W. Bush from 2003 before we invaded Iraq, and he wants his quote back."

 

Ben sat back down and unwillingly smiled. "Funny. I'm sure a lot of people have said that line, but it's true. It's true that I believe that, anyway," he finished grudgingly.

 

"And now?" she pressed him. "Because I'm quite willing to have that rematch with the katanas if you've still got something to prove."

 

"It was _never_ about you winning," he hissed. "You _left_ me. Over and over, and then you reached out to me and I told you that you weren't alone, and I defended you against Snoke-"

 

"You secured your own power in the process."

 

"You're not as intuitive as I thought if that's why you think I did it," he said, gripping the edges of the desk in anger. He wouldn't threaten or hurt her, no matter how angry he was.

 

"That's another thing," Rey says, leaning forward. "What makes you so sure I have these 'psychic' powers? Because Hux told you so? He told me I failed those tests. And I can't remember a single incidence where I did something...paranormal, or whatever you call it."

 

"Can't you?" Ben sits back in his chair. "What about when you called to me through your mind when Hux was making you feel panicked here? Did you think it was a coincidence I showed up? Can't you recall any other times you've thought you've heard my voice in your head?"

 

Rey stares at him. "That was real? It could have been a coincidence. And a few times I imagined I heard you speaking to me. But that's not real in this world."

 

 _Isn't it?_ He stares back at her, not uttering a word. _Read my mind, Rey. Reach out with your feelings. You know me. You aren't the only person who can do this. You aren't alone._

 

"Neither are you," she says aloud.

 

"You see?" he says, a half smile on his lips. "Now read my feelings for you. I'm not shutting you out."

 

Rey closes her eyes and concentrates on his feelings. A rush of air seems to brush her cheek. A vibration, soundless but thrumming through her pulse, like his Force signature from long ago. She focuses. She feels his eyes on her. She feels the simmering frustration under the surface of his mind. A sense of...betrayal. Loss. Fear of loss again. Fear of losing _her_. Protectiveness. Obsession. Guilt. A swirl of dark, chaotic emotions. The coat in her lap slips to the floor and she feels her nipples hardening in the cool air. She feels his gaze change, too. Another emotion rises to the top of the others she is picking up from him.

 

_Lust._

 

She gasps and her eyes fly open. She doesn't need to ask him if she is right because his naked hunger for her is written clearly across his face. She blushes under his regard. She feels naked without the coat covering her, and swiftly picks it up and drapes it over herself.

 

He still hasn't said a word, observing the rosy hue of her blush across her cheeks and the rapid thud of her heart in the stillness of the room. Very slowly, he rises from his chair and walks around from behind his desk toward her chair.

 

Rey quickly stands, wobbling a bit on her bandaged foot and backs away from him until her back is against the wall. He comes to a stop in front of her. Her breathing is shallow as he stands before her. He doesn't touch her, but she feels the heat radiating off of him, the masculine smell of him, clean and woodsy, and she tentatively places her hands on his chest. She feels the beat of his heart underneath her palm. Slowly she slides her palm up to the side of his face. He still makes no move, although he leans his cheek into her palm a little.

 

She licks her lips, considering giving into their mutual attraction. Or...could she replicate what he had done to her and make him crumple by cupping her hand by his temple? She slides it up as casually as possible and tries to pose it as he did.

 

 _That's not the right way to do it, but I can teach you, if you like. But since that attempt failed, how about you go with your other idea?_ His plush lips are leaning down close to hers as she lifts her face up to his, startled.

 

_You'll have to take what you want, Rey. I'm not going to take advantage of you._

 

Rey's hazel eyes darken with desire, and suddenly her hand slips around his neck and grabs a fistful of his luxurious hair, tugging him toward her forcefully, claiming his lips with her own. Ben puts out a hand against the wall to support himself, not breaking their kiss but not touching her. Rey turns him to where his back is against the wall and pushes on his shoulders so that he slides down the wall to her height, on his knees before her. She draws his arms up over his head, and he leans back with a moan, letting her take control.

 

_Do you want to punish me, Rey?_

 

 _Mmmmm. Quiet,_ she commands.

 

He feels her loosening the tie from the shirt and tie he'd changed into when he got in from the rain that morning. He feels her teeth nibbling his neck as she whips the tie from around his neck.

 

She pulls him up by the collar and guides him to her chair. Stroking his hair and running her hands over his chest, she catches his hands as he reaches for her and shakes her head.

 

_Behind your back. Give me control._

 

He leans forward and claims a quick kiss before she slaps his cheek lightly and allows her to draw his powerful arms behind the chair, a seductive smile on her face. He hardens as he feels her tying them together behind his back with the tie. She walks around to the front of the chair and picks up his coat, slipping it around her shoulders and putting her arms through it.

 

"I'm cold, sorry," she murmurs shyly.

 

"Come, let me warm you," he encourages her, and she straddles him in the chair, causing him to swallow hard. He is hers for the taking. Maybe if he lets her take control of the situation, she will forgive him for detaining her here. He hopes she understands his intentions weren't all bad. He is eager to discuss this further with her, but his senses are going into overdrive at the feel of her thighs on either side of his. Her hands trail down his chest to his hips, slipping seductively into the pockets and feeling for him.

 

"Close your eyes," she commands him. "I want you to meditate like you have me do and imagine the heat between us in the throne room, that last look...breathe deep and count back from 100. I want to try something."

 

He nods. He'll do anything to appease her. She lifts herself off him gently, trailing her fingers through his hair.

 

"Count out loud," she encourages. "Keep your eyes closed and focus."

 

He begins to count aloud.

 

_You're doing so well, Ben...go deeper. Remember._

 

It seems to take forever, but he finally reaches number 1. He opens his eyes, expecting to see her in front of him. Instead, he sees the very sexy form of Nurse Evie, leaning against the desk and regarding him beneath her long lashes, observing him in the chair with his hands bound behind his back.

 

"Rey said  you wanted to see me, but I hardly expected this! Does this mean we're dating again?"

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays! I'm enjoying this month despite surgery and potential treatments - the silver lining is that I'm not working 60-hour weeks because I'm off to recuperate, and THAT is NICE! 
> 
> May all of you be enjoying this month with your families/loved ones/friends, and I wish you all peace and happiness! Thank you to everyone who has been so supporting of this story and of me. 
> 
> ~Pandora
> 
> [ The Hypnotist Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/user/catness1969/playlist/141YsStWY3Ue6AdGUWCxbQ?si=EFx2xBucQH6_i_Kae-ak0A)
> 
> I'm on Tumblr at [ @pandoraspocksao3 ](https://pandoraspocksao3.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> I'm also on Twitter at [ @Pandora_SpocksAO3 ](https://twitter.com/Pandoraspocksa1/).


	17. A Dangerous Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know it's difficult to drag your eyes downward from this photo of Adam *cough* Dr. Ben Solo as he extracts himself from being tied to a chair by Rey, but do try to stop drooling in the next 10 minutes and continue to the story underneath. Thank you. 
> 
> A special thanks to **@star-horse** on Tumblr, my beta and friend, who is so good at catching errors and giving me honest feedback. I thank her for being generous with her time after a long week and reading this long chapter!
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/51212640@N04/46311817761/in/dateposted-public/)  
> 
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> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/51212640@N04/32439717108/in/dateposted-public/)  
> 

****“Rey!” Ben bellowed, as Evie looked at him and his absurd plight of having his arms tied behind him to the chair and unsuccessfully tried to repress a smile.

 

“Need some help with that, Doctor?” Evie asked, moving hesitantly toward the back of his chair to untie his hands.

 

“Never mind me; get out in the hallway and make sure she hasn’t gotten off the unit again,” he said.

 

“Again?”

 

 **_“Go!”_ ** Ben thundered, thinking of his coat she was wearing, which was where he’d put his badge and the keys to his car, which Rey would have figured out by now. He groaned, thinking Rey was probably halfway to the parking lot. He didn’t have time to explain things to his nurse.

 

“But your hands-”

 

Ben stood, raising the chair with him, and then spun around fast, knocking the chair into the wall over and over until it splintered apart and the tie holding his arms to the wood were freed as the tie slid over the wooden slats and loosened enough for him to shake it off.

 

“Call security and lock down the grounds. Quickly,” he said shortly, running into the hallway, his shirt untucked, his hair mussed, his collar open. Phasma and Connix were just exiting the breakroom after doing the shift report handoff.

 

“Where’s Rey?” Ben panted, reaching the nurses’ station desk and vaulting over it to ask Connix and Phasma.

 

“What do you mean? She was with you when I went in to give report to Connix,” Phasma said in confusion.

 

Ben reddened, not willing to go into detail about how Rey had played him.

 

“She’s escaped again. She has my coat, badge, and car keys this time, so Evie is calling security to lock down the unit.” He squirmed, feeling Phasma’s raised eyebrows. “Just spread out on the unit and scour it until you find her and then call me on my cell.”

 

“Well, at least she doesn’t have your phone in your coat,” Connix commented.

 

**_“Kriff!”_ **

 

He charged toward the door as he heard Connix ask Phasma, “What the hell does ‘kriff’ mean?”

 

The doors refused to budge without his badge key card. He whirled around to ask Connix for hers, but Phasma was already right behind him with hers.

 

“Get ahold of yourself,” she said in a low voice. “I’ll go with you. And tuck in your shirt. It’s pretty obvious how she charmed her way out of here. _Really,_ Ben,” she chided disapprovingly. “How do you let this happen _two_ nights in a row? You might as well just hand her over to Hux at this rate.”

 

“Don’t even jest about that,” Ben said darkly. “He’d like nothing better. And the minute she escapes here, he has the right to legally take her. As he repeatedly reminds me. At least if she is in the hospital, I can protect her from him, but there’s no way to get Rey to understand that.” They fanned out over the courtyard looking for tracks or any sign of her on the grounds.

 

“You’re going to have to do more than just keep her here, Ben. He wants results or he’s going to take her anyway; you know that,” Phasma said as they crossed the admin building and headed for the parking lot. Ben’s black McLaren 720S was still in its parking spot, apparently untouched.

 

“I know that,” Ben snapped. “I was trying to regain her trust this afternoon when this...well, when she got away,” he finished awkwardly.

 

“Judging from your missing tie, I think I can fill in the blanks. She said she wanted to play Fifty Shades and your ‘other’ brain short-circuited and let her tie you up. How gullible can you be?”

 

“You aren’t letting me off the hook about this, are you?” he grunted as they trudged back toward the unit. His feelings told him that Rey wasn’t far from them, but he couldn’t visualize her. It was difficult to meditate and talk simultaneously.

 

“Nope,” Phasma said, letting them back into the unit.

 

The first thing that registered with Ben was a delicious aroma that wafted from Rey’s room. He broke into a run and stopped in the open doorway. Connix, Evie, and Rey were sharing popcorn and watching Game of Thrones.

 

Ben heaved a breath of relief, drawing a cool gaze from Rey, who was dressed back in her original street clothes, reclining on top of her bed.

 

“Guys, could you clear the room, please? I need to speak with our patient,” he said. It was clear that it wasn’t a request.

 

“Fine,” Connix griped. “But it was just getting good.” She brushed past him, rolling her eyes at him.

 

Evie followed, carrying the popcorn and giving Ben a wink. “I left your tie in your office. I’ll see about ordering a new chair for you.”

 

Ben entered the room and closed the door. Rey still watched the television screen.

 

“Rey…” he said softly.

 

She was stonily silent.

 

“We need to talk. Can you switch that off, please?”

 

Rey remained silent but stared at the television, which eventually went dark. Ben observed she wasn’t holding a remote.

 

“Did you do that with your mind?” he ventured, moving closer and taking a seat in a chair next to her bed.

 

“Maybe. I don’t really know,” she admitted, still not looking at him.

 

“I take it you’re pretty pissed at me,” he said, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.

 

“You kidnapped me, took me here under false pretenses, and admitted you wanted revenge for a past life, which makes no sense to me. I had every right to just take your badge and car keys and leave, but I stayed because I want answers, and you’re going to give them to me,” she said calmly, finally turning to face him.

 

“Your coat and all your stuff is over there,” she indicated with a nod. “I did use the keys to get into the locker that had my clothes. I’m not wearing hospital gowns anymore. I trust you won’t object? If I’m going to stay here, those are my conditions. You can tell Gwen to bring some of my others.”

 

“That’s fine,” Ben said, relieved it was only that. “And I tried to explain it to you before, but I think you need to hear it again. You say you don’t remember what happened after you got on the Falcon, but Hux remembers you from our past lives. He says you and Dameron were laughing about me. About how you set me up from the beginning by playing on my feelings for you. How easy it was to kill me while I was kneeling in the cave looking up at you. That the Falcon fired, and that’s why I don’t remember anything after that.”

 

Rey sat in silence as he continued.

 

“Rey, what could I think? You _left_ me. I offered you the Galaxy! You are the only woman - the only _person_ \- I connected with on such a personal and intimate level. I thought you came to the Supremacy for _me_ . Not just to make sure the Rebellion succeeded. Not to _use_ me.”

 

Hurt filled his voice, and he turned away from her, not wanting her to see his obvious pain.

 

“That’s not how it was,” Rey said gently. “Come on, Ben. We were both there. We both were in each other’s minds. You can’t say you didn’t know how I felt.”

 

“Do you know how many times people who said they cared about me turned on me?” he whispered. “And just now...you manipulated me with such ease, telling me to trust you. And when I did, you tied me to a chair and left.”

 

The bed creaked, and Ben felt her small hand on his shoulder. “You weren’t the only one who felt let down, Ben. You fired on me and all my friends at Crait. All the closeness we had built together, and you let your temper destroy it all because you had to choose power over me. And that’s what you did. You didn’t offer me the Galaxy, Ben. You wanted someone to rule with you. Kill the past, you said. But you were ready to kill me along with the rest of the Rebellion, including my friends. Your mother, for God’s sake-”

 

“I already said I didn’t **know** she was alive!” Ben protested.

 

“But the rest of it - me, Chewie, the Rebellion - all those people you were ready to incinerate. You wanted me to join _you._ It was about power. You didn’t want _me_. Maybe you did, but as something secondary to finishing what your grandfather started. You were willing to kill me to do it. That’s not love, Ben.”

 

“I never meant to kill you-”

 

“How am I supposed to be sure about that?” Rey said, a tinge of exasperation in her voice now.

 

“Just tell me something. Did you kill me? Did you fire the killing shot?” he asked, closing his eyes and asking the dreaded question.

 

“Ben. **Ben.** Look at me,” she said quietly, taking her hand to cup his chin and turn it to look up at her. “I don’t have any memory of that. Based on what you’ve told me and what I remember, perhaps it was in self-defense. My memory is that we were going to jump to hyperspace and escape, and then I remember nothing. You can search my mind if you like. We’ve done this before in hypnosis sessions. I don’t know what else I can say to make you believe it. You are not innocent in all this. And the fact that you are carrying all this anger and quest for revenge into your current life makes me pity you.”

 

Ben was silent for a long time. When he spoke again, he placed his hand on hers gently.

 

“You aren’t wrong,” he said with a heavy sigh. “Although I just felt so much anger at the time. If I had succeeded in killing you, I would never have forgiven myself. The Rebellion - I don’t know if I’d have cared as much, but I turned away once from killing my mother and I thought she was dead already when I went to Crait.

 

“As for this life, I swear to you I gave up the idea of revenge once I got to know you. The more I got to know you as Reychelle, the more I fell in love with you, Rey. I know you felt it too. I was conflicted. Hux told me you would be the destruction of Phasma, him, and me. It was prophesied, and based on the past, I found it a credible threat. I didn’t want to harm you, and I didn’t want you to end up in one of Hux’s military bases.

 

“Rey, you need to realize Hux can do that! What he threatened you with on your first day here is within his capability. He is an agent of the Central Intelligence Agency, **_the fucking CIA_ ** , and if he doesn’t think he needs me to get you to cooperate or to extract information for him, he’ll just use military force to remove you from here and take you someplace I can’t find you. I don’t know what methods he would use, but I doubt it would be pleasant. If I let you out of this psych unit, the first thing he’d do is to declare you a Homeland Security threat and arrest you, and you’d disappear forever from anywhere your friends could find and help you. Do you understand now? Do you truly understand how powerful he is?”

 

He gripped her hand hard in an effort to make her see.

 

“He’s the one who found you in the first place. You’ve been his target all along. You didn’t fail his parapsychology tests, Rey. You did so well on them, he is impatient to test your powers and use them. I convinced him that without me you can’t be hypnotized and you will be useless to him, but if I don’t provide him with something soon, he will take you away. He has the full backing of the CIA, Rey, and it goes up higher than that in the government. Current leadership is not exactly stable right now.”

 

Rey paled a bit as the full impact of what Ben was saying sank in. “So what do we do, then? I stay in this hospital forever under your protection and you feed Hux bits of information to keep him happy? I’m still a prisoner. So are you, for that matter. We’re both his puppets.”

 

“Pretty much,” Ben said. “I promised myself after I got to know you I would protect you. I tried to keep him at bay; I tried to tell him you weren’t ready, but Hux is relentless. He’s a bit of a fanatic.”

 

“That’s an understatement,” Rey agreed. “But go back to what you said about a prophecy. How do you have a “prophecy” in modern times about me? Where did you get that notion?”

 

“The Jedi texts,” Ben said, his mouth tightening into a grim line. “Hux said that during a raid on your base, the sacred Jedi texts you had with you were discovered and taken. He had them deciphered and found a text that said The Last Jedi would return in a future life at the peak of her powers and destroy the Sith.”

 

“The _Sith?_ I can’t believe you’re buying into this. Hux is no Sith. The only one with a past life who used the Dark Side is you, and Snoke is dead...wait...is Snoke reincarnated? Is he here?” Rey paused to steady her breathing.

 

“I don’t think so,” Ben replied cautiously. “We looked for him, of course, but there’s no sign of anyone in our orbit of contacts and friends who resembles Snoke, so that part doesn’t fit. Hux interpreted it to mean anyone in the First Order, meaning Phasma, him, and me. That’s why Hux thinks you want to kill us.”

 

“And this sacred text? Is it on Earth somehow?”

 

“No. Hux saw it after he boarded your ship. You and the pilot escaped, but you left the Jedi texts behind. Did you have them with you on the Falcon when you left?”

 

“Yes, but I didn’t get a chance to read them, I don’t think. I don’t recall this confrontation with Hux. Why can’t I remember that if it happened? Why can Hux remember that, but I can’t? Seems a little too convenient,” Rey said angrily.

 

“I don’t know,” Ben said quietly. “Rey, I have no right to ask this of you, but we need answers to these questions. Would you be willing to let me hypnotize you again? Perhaps if you go back further you can recall it. The last time we tried, you remembered something about my uncle and mother. You said their names. I think Luke may have reached you and told you something important.”

 

Rey considered it. “It would seem that is the only way to get to the bottom of what really happened,” she agreed. “But if I’m going to trust you, you have to trust me. Would you be willing to let me try to hypnotize you? You can tell me how to do it, and I’ll try to help with your memory as well. Maybe you didn’t die in that cave. Maybe you just can’t remember what happened after, just like I can’t remember what happened after I boarded the Falcon and sat down by your mother.”

 

“I owe you that much and more,” Ben said, his hand squeezing hers briefly. “Rey...what you said about how I just wanted to use you to achieve power in our past life...maybe that was partly true, but you need to know I had feelings for you. I had this picture in my head of us ruling the Galaxy, and it was more than power, it was having my - well, my other half, not to sound too corny. Ever since we were connected and you said I wasn’t alone either, I wanted you with me. As a friend, as a lover, as an equal, as all the Light in my life I was lacking.”

 

Ben ducked his head, flushing red. He wasn’t used to making such declarations to anyone.

 

“I believe you,” she whispered. “And I didn’t use your feelings to manipulate you for the Rebellion to win like you think. Yes, I wanted the Rebellion to win, but I wanted my...other half, that person who told me I wasn’t alone, _you,_ to be with me. I know you’re cynical because of what you went through, but I swear to you it’s true. Read my mind.”

 

“I don’t need to,” Ben whispered softly, extending his hand and softly tracing her jawline. “I trust you, Rey. Even though you had me tied to a chair about an hour ago.”

 

Rey laughed at that, breaking the tension between them. “I guess I wanted a bit of revenge of my own. But I could have done worse, you know. And I did NOT leave you, even though I’d have been within my rights to get out of this loony bin-”

 

“Psychiatric facility,” Ben corrected.

 

“-Loony bin,” Rey continued, “and get the hell out of here. I’m not convinced Hux could find me. You have all this money; why couldn’t we just disappear?”

 

“Rey, I need you to really hear me on this. Hux has amassed power in the US government. There are special forces you don’t know about. The fact that the CIA is interested in the paranormal at all and is keeping it a secret and conducting tests at secret locations the public has no knowledge of - don’t you see? He has the trust of powerful men and the backing of the government. That means satellites, databases, helicopters, drones - it means he’d find us. The best way to protect you has been to go along with him and insist I could manage you here. And, of course, he thinks I have some abilities as well, so it’s sort of a package deal for him.”

 

“So where do we start,” Rey said. “What’s the plan to get out of this mess?”

 

Ben stared into her eyes somberly. “It’s going to require something both of us have a hard time giving: trust.”

 

Rey met his gaze and seemed to draw conviction from what she saw there. “I trust you, Ben Solo. You can hypnotize me, and come what may, we will discover the truth.”

 

Ben felt something warm in his chest, and he had a lump in his throat when he thought of all she’d endured at his hands, and yet she was willing to give over her mind to him without reservation. It pierced the cynicism he had toward most people, and the iron gates he protected his heart with now swung open to her.

 

“I trust you, Reychelle Lumen, Rey of Jakku. I will write a script that will help you guide me back in time, and together we will discover the truth of what happened. With knowledge we will go forth, no matter what ugly truths we may find, and I pledge I will protect you and get you away from Hux and have your life restored to you.”

 

Rey knelt so that their faces were almost touching. “So, shall we shake hands or something to seal the deal?” Her eyes went to his lips.

 

Ben remained motionless, afraid pull her to him. “Of course,” he said hoarsely, extending his hand toward her.

 

Rey took his arm with one hand and with the other grasped the back of his head and leaned over his chair and kissed him tenderly. Ben felt his pulse race as he gathered her to him, drawing her into his lap, exploring her mouth as if he was tasting the sweetest of forbidden fruits, his tongue twining with hers. Rey moaned and put his hand on her chest.

 

“Does that door lock from the inside?” she whispered suggestively.

 

“It’s a psych hospital, so of course not.”

 

“Hmmm. Well, I have a feeling no one would bother us since you own the facility,” she said, standing up and tugging him with her toward the bed.

 

“Rey, stop,” he said gently. “I care about you too much to do this here. It isn’t right, and until I can get you free of this place, anything that happens here is going to be wrong.”

 

“Would you stop with the ethics? I’m giving you permission, dammit!” Rey tugged at his arm again, but he pulled her close in a tight hug and kissed the top of her head.

 

“You’re driving me wild, but I’m not taking advantage of you, Rey. Please let me try to make things right. As much as we may care about each other, I’m the doctor right now and you’re the patient. I hate the circumstances that got you here. When I can get us out of this and you have absolute freedom from Hux and from this place, when I’m officially not your doctor, we can explore a relationship. But as good as this feels, for now, please let me try to do the right thing.”

 

“You drive a hard bargain, but maybe it’s best for now,” she said reluctantly. “I guess we should say goodnight then.”

 

Kylo pulled her close again and kissed the top of her head again while Rey nestled against his broad chest. He didn’t want to let go. After a long minute, he released her and whispered softly, “Goodnight.”

 

“Goodnight, Doc.”

 

He left her door ajar as he walked past the nursing station and exited the unit. He needed a good night’s sleep for the hypnosis session tomorrow.

 

* * *

 

Rey changed into a pair of scrubs she’d found for pajamas until Gwen brought her some of her own. She was getting back into bed when the door opened and Evie came in.

 

“Rey, I have some pills I can give you to help you sleep if you want them. Dr. Solo said it’s your choice, though.”

 

“Thanks, Evie. I don’t think I’ll take them. I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep, but I don’t like relying on pills.”

 

“That’s a good attitude to have,” the nurse said gently. She hovered by Rey’s bed, her intoxicating perfume reaching Rey’s nostrils and making her curious if what Connix had said to her before about Evie and Ben dating had been true. She was beautiful enough to where Rey could understand it if they had. She felt a pang of jealousy at the thought.

 

“Evie, do you like working for Dr. Solo?” she asked hesitantly. “I mean, what do you think of him as a person?”

 

Evie looked down and fidgeted for a moment with the Chanel necklace she was wearing. Her simple but tasteful choices in good jewelry and accessories combined with her beauty and elegance made her seem more at home at a country club, but her sense of humor, compassion, and intelligence made her an excellent nurse. She was also highly intuitive and knew what Rey was really curious about.

 

“I do enjoy working with him, yes. Actually, his mother set us up on a date a long time before I started working in this part of the hospital. We went to dinner and a movie, I think. He was a gentleman and a really nice date. The chemistry just wasn’t right between us. We decided we’d be better just staying friends. He’s escorted me to the opera or functions when I didn’t have a date before, but just as a friend. And now there’s Richard, so…”

 

“Richard?” Rey encouraged her. She felt amazing relief for some reason to know that Evie’s dates with Ben hadn’t gone beyond mere friendship.

 

“Well, I keep it private since Richard is kind of high profile. He’s in the movie business, but he flies out from LA to visit sometimes or flies me out there. But I think it’s getting serious. He knows I like fashion and he’s sent me some lovely things.” The pretty nurse blushed. “But the important part is that he sees me for who I am. He “gets” me, so to speak.”

 

“That’s so wonderful,” Rey said wistfully. “I hope I have that someday.”

 

“The trick is to keep your heart open,” Evie said earnestly. “Be open to all possibilities. Your aura is so warm, Rey. I think it will happen for you sooner than you think.”

 

“Oh no, are you one of those New Age types, too? No offense,” Rey hastened to add.

 

Evie merely smiled. “Hasn’t Ben told you about energy fields? We all have them. Once you are in tune with energy, you can see it around a person and feel it. A lot of the things people think are hocus pocus and mystical stuff is actually rooted in science.”

 

“Thanks, Evie,” Rey said, grateful to the nurse for her gentle reassurance. She felt something calming in the nurse’s presence and wondered if that was her “aura.” Maybe she just hadn’t been paying attention to things like that.

 

“Anytime. I’ll be up at the nurse’s station. Connix is going to sit in the hall and keep an eye - well, she’ll be here if you need anything.”

 

“I understand. Thanks, and goodnight.”

 

“Sleep well,” Evie smiled at her and exited her room.

 

* * *

 

Rey was starting to drift off when Connix burst into her room without trying to be quiet. The girl sat at the foot of her bed and crossed her arms angrily as she glared accusingly at Rey.

 

“Are you a complete idiot? I thought we agreed you would get your ass out of town? I took _risks_ for you, you twit. If Ben knew I was in on that escape attempt, I could have lost my job. You were supposed to get out and be out of town. And then today I hear you managed to trick him, tie him to a chair, and make off with his coat, badge, phone, and car keys. You had the perfect means to sail out of here and escape, but you chose to come back to your room. I didn’t say anything earlier with Evie here, but really Rey, what the fuck?”

 

“I’m sorry to disappoint, Connix. If it’s any consolation, I demolished his office,” Rey said with a shrug.

 

“Like I care. I saw the carnage in there as they were taking the furniture and broken glass out. Why did you head for the office?”

 

“Because it was raining and I had no car. I’d never have made it out if I ran at the street level in my robe. The only other place I had badge access to was his outpatient office. He followed me and we- well, I put up a fight and some stuff got broken,” Rey reddened, knowing Connix wouldn’t understand about past lives and her feeble attempt at sword fighting or anything about their past.

 

“Yeah, way to show your crazy again, Rey. If there was any doubt you needed to be in here, you sealed your fate with that little outburst,” she grumbled.

 

“I guess so. Maybe I _do_ need to be in here,” Rey said thoughtfully.

 

“ _Excuse me,_ do you remember all that stuff you told me before?” Connix said indignantly.

 

“Connix, I’m sorry. I would have said anything to get out at that point, honestly. I was manipulating you, and I’m sorry. I don’t want to get back with Poe. I like Ben, but he’s my doctor and right now I need to concentrate on some things and let him help me. I think Ben will release me once I’ve worked through some issues,” Rey said carefully.

 

“Bullshit!” Connix replied angrily. “Rey, you need to get out of here. I’ll still help you, but you need to get away from here.”

 

“Connix, would you relax? You’ve got this sense of jealousy or competition with me that’s not healthy,” Rey said gently.

 

“That’s not it. I mean, I don’t like it that you’re after Ben. I mean- Oh, why can’t you just go with your instincts and get out of here? I’m trying to _help_ you, dammit!”

 

“Why are you so agitated about this?” Rey asked, confused. Connix had always seemed spacey; she was more like a recalcitrant teenager than the young woman she actually was. But she had seemed to be motivated by petty jealousy and getting her “competition” out of the way before, and now she appeared different, more mature, but much more frustrated and annoyed than the situation called for.

 

“Maybe because you’re just so... _stupid_ ,” Connix said with exasperation.

 

“Look, Connix, I can see-”

 

“You see _nothing_!” Connix interrupted passionately. “You’re a fool, and I can’t protect you if you won’t listen to me.”

 

Rey’s eyes narrowed. “You aren’t telling me everything, Connix. Protect me from what?”

 

Connix rubbed her fists into her eyes in frustration. “I don’t know what else to say. You’re in danger. You need to get the hell out of this town and away from everyone in it.”

 

Rey was thoroughly perplexed now. Unless…”Connix, you have memories of another time, don’t you? Just like I do. Tell me.”

 

Connix groaned. “Stop it. This is the madness you have to get away from. Hux, Ben, Phasma - it’s like a cult, and you’re going to be brainwashed if you don’t get out of here and live a normal life. Reincarnation is just a joke, Rey, but Hux has the power to lock you up for good and “study” you and whack jobs like him can’t be talked out of it. Then you’ve got your puppy love crush on Ben, who wants you to be this long lost girlfriend of his in another life or something like that- it’s all **_crazy,_ ** Rey! What does it tell you that these nutjobs have you locked in a psych ward and there’s nothing you can do about it? And pretty soon you’ll start believing these fantasies are true, and you’ll be **legit** crazy, don’t you see?”

 

“I thought you hated me,” Rey ventured.

 

“Nothing has been as it seems, Rey,” Connix said urgently. “Please trust me and get out. You’re running out of time. Please don’t let him hypnotize you.”

 

“How do you even know about that?” Rey asked suspiciously.

 

“Because _of course_ he was going to do that at some point. It’s why you’re here,” the girl said impatiently. “These people have power and money behind them, and you’re a pawn in all this. _Please_ let me help you get out before it’s too late,” she pleaded.

 

“Connix,” said a stern voice sharply from the doorway. “I think you are agitating our patient instead of watching her sleep. You’re dismissed. Please go take a break and then just watch the front desk for the rest of your shift. I’ll stay out here in the hall in case Rey needs something,” Evie said with finality.

 

Connix shot Rey a look of anguish but then quickly returned to her sulky teen persona. “Well, I guess we got a little heated about Game of Thrones. Sorry, Rey, I’ll let you rest. I can come back in a few hours to relieve you, Evie.”

 

“That won’t be necessary,” the pretty nurse said, dismissing Connix and settling into her chair.

 

“I guess I’ve done everything I can, then,” Connix said quietly, leaving the room and giving Rey one last look, she left the room.

 

Rey contemplated telling Evie what Connix had said, but if Connix were to be believed, _no one_ could be trusted. But who was Connix? Up until tonight she just seemed like a bored young woman who was immature and shallow, boy crazy and childish. _She probably just wants me to stay away from Ben because she has a crush on him,_ Rey thought. But Connix seemed so different tonight, almost as if her regular persona was a front. Why would she work with people whom she considered to be crazy, though? Was she right?

 

Rey lay awake a long time, but she knew her memories of a past life were real. Weren’t they? Now she was starting to doubt herself. Which could also have been Connix’s intention: to make her doubt herself. But there was something so nakedly pleading about her eyes. Rey shook it off. Connix might believe it, but it didn’t make it true. And Ben also feared that Hux could do her harm, but he seemed honest when he said he was protecting her from him.

 

Rey had resolved to stay and not run from this situation. She felt more alive since her memories had come back. Reychelle and all her demons, the eating disorder, her anxiety, her shyness...they faded away when she remembered who she was and all she’d done. It mattered little that she had no Force powers; she remembered her confidence, and for Connix to suggest that was all a false front was truly awful. She might be in a psych unit, but she felt more _alive_ than she had in years. She certainly didn’t want to return to being plain Reychelle, boring and uninspiring. She’d had a past life as a Jedi! She didn’t want to forget that.

 

What harm could one more hypnosis session do? She wanted to know more, whatever the consequences. Rey turned off her light and rolled over, falling into a troubled sleep to await the morrow.

  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **HUGE THANKS to my beta, @star-horse on Tumblr,** who took time after her busy workday to read this chapter carefully and make sure there were no errors. She's awesome and gives wonderful feedback. 
> 
> One thing that was clear from the comments was that it was murky as to why Ben didn't just let Rey go and why he kept here there when his heart so clearly wasn't in it. I hope I've cleared that up in this chapter. I may have even been too repetitious, but I want it very clear that this is the only alternative to keeping Rey safe from Hux. He's with the CIA and he wants to do experiments on her paranormal abilities. (Anyone catch that bit with her turning off the TV without the remote? Good!) 
> 
> So it would be Very Bad if this happened, and Hux has the weight of the government backing him up. Ben has money and a temper. Ben doesn't have the backing of an army. So it's a battle of wits right now; if he keeps her in this comfortable facility and has Hux under the impression he's cooperating, he can keep Hux at bay, although Hux wants some demonstrations very soon. Hux wants power. So actually, while Ben's motives weren't pure to start off with, he's protecting her and Rey has finally realized it's safer for her in the psych facility until they can come up with a plan. 
> 
> I tried to work that into past chapters, but with the slowness of my uploads and perhaps the way I worded it, this was not coming across, so I hope I fixed it here. My bad, not my readers! I hope it makes more sense now.
> 
> The next chapter will be more action driven and we'll return to those hypnosis and past-life regression sessions and have some fun! And what is up with Connix and Evie? Let the speculation begin!
> 
> I love allay'all! Happy Holidays to everyone, and thank you for reading!
> 
> [ The Hypnotist Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/user/catness1969/playlist/141YsStWY3Ue6AdGUWCxbQ?si=EFx2xBucQH6_i_Kae-ak0A)
> 
> I'm on Tumblr at [ @pandoraspocksao3 ](https://pandoraspocksao3.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> I'm also on Twitter at [ @Pandora_SpocksAO3 ](https://twitter.com/Pandoraspocksa1/).


	18. Another Lifetime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben hypnotizes Rey so that she can recall the moment she killed him, but things do not go as planned.
> 
>  
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/51212640@N04/31498520637/in/dateposted-public/)  
> 

* * *

 

 

Ben leans forward in his chair. Rey is stretched out on the reclining sofa, breathing deeply and appears to be in no distress. She is deeply under hypnosis.

 

“Rey, I want you to think back to your previous life as Rey of Jakku. The Battle of Crait has ended. The ramp to the Millennium Falcon is down and suddenly you look down and see Kylo Ren, kneeling on the floor of the Rebel base on Crait. He looks up at you. Do you see this?”

 

Rey’s breathing increases. A frown appears on her face.

 

“Yes, I see him.”

 

“Good, Rey. Tell me what happens next. Tell me what you are feeling as it happens.”

 

“Kylo is staring up at me. He has a look on his face, like regret. I’m too angry to care. He just tried to kill all the people I love. I shut the ramp in his face and the connection is broken.”

 

“What is the next thing that happens?”

 

“A man walks up to me. I say, ‘Hi, I’m Rey,’ and smile at him. He says, ‘I know. I’m Poe.’ He’s smiling too. There’s a lot of people milling around so I move into the ship and see Finn, who is covering a pretty girl with a blanket. He seems very concerned about her. He sits down with her, and from the way he is looking at her, I know they are more than friends.”

 

Rey pauses, then continues:

 

“For a moment, I feel sad. Finn is my special friend. I want to sit down and talk to him, but I realize this girl is unconscious and he is in love with her. I feel mixed emotions. I feel glad for him that he has found someone he loves, but I feel lonely.”

 

Ben wants so badly to tell her she is not alone and that he is there for her, but he can’t risk breaking her concentration.

 

“Rey, what happens next?”

 

“I’m sitting down by myself when General Organa sits down beside me. She sees me holding the broken lightsaber in my hand and covers it with her own. I ask her how we can rebuild from this. She replies, ‘We have everything we need,” and squeezes my hand. I feel the ship make the jump to lightspeed.”

 

Ben waits, but Rey does not continue. There is only the sound of her breathing.

 

“Rey, what’s happening now?”

 

“Nothing...there’s nothing.”

 

Ben tries to keep his voice free of tension.

 

“It’s okay, Rey. Remember, you are sitting by General Organa and the Falcon has just jumped to hyperspace...what is happening now?”

 

“I...I just feel frozen in time holding your mother’s hand. Nothing happens next.”

 

Rey’s forehead wrinkles as she makes an effort to remember.

 

“Rey, it’s okay. I want you to distance yourself from what you are seeing, like this is a movie you are watching. I want you to rewind the film and tell me the point at which you kill Kylo Ren.”

 

It’s a risk, a big one, but he has to see if he can get the crucial question answered. He watches as moisture gathers on her face and her eyes dart back and forth rapidly under her eyelids.

 

“There isn’t one. There is a fight in a forest, but I don’t kill him. I can’t.”

 

“Why can’t you?” Ben asks, intrigued, although it isn’t the moment he was trying to have her remember.

 

“I...I don’t want to kill him. I’m angrier than I’ve ever been, but it feels wrong to kill him. He’s wounded. I think about killing him, but I don’t want to do that. I can’t. Now the earth is splitting apart and we are divided by a deep chasm…”

 

“Okay, Rey, freeze the film. Go back to the Battle of Crait. Tell me about when you try to kill Kylo Ren during or after the battle there.”

 

“I’m in the Falcon and I see his command shuttle, but I don’t fire on that. I take aim at the AT-M6 walkers flanking his ship, but only to draw their fire and the TIE fighters away from the Resistance base. I circle around back and go down to where we are picking up life forms and use the Force to lift the rocks blocking the rear exit to the cave. The remaining Resistance crew board the Falcon. A man walks up to me, and I say, “Hi, I’m Rey…”

 

“-You can freeze the film again, Rey,” Ben says in frustration. They have now circled back to the beginning, and she still hasn’t found a memory of killing him.

 

“Fast forward the film very slowly and see if there is any point where the Falcon fires on the cave before it jumps to hyperspace.”

 

Rey concentrates. “There isn’t.”

 

Ben frowns. “And what happens after the Falcon jumps to hyperspace?”

 

Rey’s eyes stop darting back and forth underneath her eyelids. “There’s nothing. I just see your mother and I holding hands. After that...there’s nothing.”

 

Ben is perplexed. “Do you recall being fired upon or the Falcon crashing?”

 

Rey scrunches up her forehead again. “No.”

 

Ben sits silently for a minute. What could this mean? He remembers from their previous hypnosis situation when he asked her to go further when she mentioned the name of his mother and uncle.

 

“Rey, at any point does Luke appear to you on the Falcon?”

 

“No.”

 

“Does Leia mention Luke to you?” he pressed.

 

“No...before we took off, we both felt him pass into the Force. But he didn’t appear to us.”

 

“Rey, think carefully. On the Falcon, is any mention made to you of Luke?”

 

“No.”

 

Ben massages his temples, baffled at how he had gotten this response from her before but couldn’t now. She appears to be deeply under hypnosis and willingly searching her memory. He gently brushes her mind with his to see if she is lying to him, but he encounters only the image of her seated with his mother.

 

_Time to try something else._

 

“Okay, Rey, I want you to imagine you are floating in space in a small time capsule. Only this time, time and space do not matter. In fact, you can travel back and forth in time. If you turn the dial in the capsule to the left, you can go back in time. I want you to travel back in the past until you come to a moment when you are with both Luke and Leia at the same time.”

 

_Somehow I have to get her to the moment where she said their names together before...I know Luke appeared to her somehow, but she’s not remembering._

 

Rey goes quiet for several minutes, and then a change seems to pass over her face. Slowly she brings her knees up from their stretched out position on the couch. Her face scrunches up and tears slide down her cheeks.

 

All at once she lets out a yell of pain.

 

“Rey- Rey, distance yourself. Watch the memory like it is on a movie screen.” Anxiously, he takes her hand, which she squeezes hard.

 

Rey doesn’t seem to hear his command. She begins to sweat and her body clenches and then relaxes. Her breathing is more shallow and comes in short gasps.

 

“Luke,” she says, smiling through tears and pain. Then another spasm grips her and she lets out another cry of pain. “Leia,” she says, her voice getting weaker.

 

“Where are you, Rey?” Ben asks anxiously. “Remember, you are watching this on a movie screen. You are in control.”

 

She doesn’t appear to hear him, but she clenches his hand. “Obi-Wan….there is good in him, I know. I know this...still.”

 

With a last sigh, her head turns to the side. Her breathing stops.

 

“Listen to me, you will continue to breathe!” Ben says anxiously. “Rey, wake up, please!”

 

Noticing her chest is not rising and falling, he grasps her face and pinches her nose shut, breathing into her mouth. She begins to cough but remains under hypnosis.

 

_Thank God. But...Obi-Wan? Did she see Obi-Wan in the Force? The guy I was named for? What the hell?_

 

“Rey, I want you to rewind the scenes in your head to where you are younger. Pick a pleasant memory this time.”

 

“Why do you keep calling me that?” she asks, her voice sounding different.

 

“Because that’s your name...isn’t it?” He’s confounded by her question. _Was there an air breach on the Falcon? Did Luke appear to her and Leia at the last moment? Why can’t she remember her name?_

 

“What is your name?” he asks her, worried at this turn of events.

 

“Senator Padme Amidala,” she informs him, a touch of sweetness but regalness in her tone.

 

_It can’t be. His grandmother was dead long before he or Rey were born._

 

“Let me speak to Rey,” he says urgently.

 

“I don’t know any Rey,” she says in her gentle voice. “Oh Ani, what are we going to do?”

 

_Annie?_

 

“About what?” he responds gently. Just as it is best not to wake a sleepwalker, he knows he must tread carefully here since Rey is not waking up.

 

“I’m pregnant.”

 

Ben sits back, stunned.

 

_Can this be happening? Is she really...my grandmother?_

 

“That’s...that’s wonderful,” he assures her.

 

“What are we going to do?” she asks again in worried tones.

 

“It’s going to be alright,” Ben reassures her, although he knows it won’t be. Not for Padme. If he remembers correctly, she died in childbirth. “Padme, please do something for me. I want you to distance yourself from these memories and watch them as if they were on a movie screen- I mean on a hologram projection. Okay? I want you to distance yourself from what you are feeling and seeing. Can you do that for me?”

 

“Yes,” she says after a moment.

 

“Where are you now?”

 

“With Anakin. He just returned from rescuing Chancellor Palpatine. I just told him I’m pregnant. He says not to worry, that it is a happy moment.”

 

_Rey is Padme? How is this possible? You can’t be reincarnated more than once. Can you? Who was Chancellor Palpatine? Why didn’t I ask my parents for more details about my grandparents?_

 

“Rey- I mean, Padme, can you fast forward the hologram of your memories until you see your last memory of Anakin?”

 

She is quiet for a moment, and then her breathing becomes rapid. “I was so worried about you. Obi-Wan...he told me terrible things. He said...that you turned to the Dark Side...that you killed younglings.” Her voice rises a bit as though she cannot bear such a thought.

 

“Distance yourself, Padme,” he cautions her.

 

She continues to speak to Anakin as if she cannot hear Ben’s voice.

 

“Come away with me. Come away and help me raise our child. Leave everything else behind while we still can.”

 

Her face winces in pain as she apparently hears a response from Anakin.

 

“Padme, what does Anakin say to you?” Ben urges quietly, trying to get her to hear him again.

 

“He...he says he did it all for me. That he wants to rule the galaxy with me so we can make things the way we want them. Make things the way we want them to be. I- can’t believe what I’m hearing. He’s changed. I don’t know him anymore. He’s breaking my heart....he’s going down a path I can’t follow. I tell him to stop, that I love him. Oh, no...he sees Obi-Wan. He thinks- he thinks I’m with Obi-Wan now. That I brought Obi-Wan with me to kill him.”

 

Ben watches in horror as Rey puts her hand to her throat. “Anakin” she chokes out.

 

_Can this be? My grandfather certainly didn’t kill his wife. Or choke her. He loved her. He would never do that._

 

Rey is starting to turn a little blue.

 

“Rey! Rey, Padme- wake up!” Ben says, panicked.

 

Rey suddenly takes a deep breath, as if whatever was choking her has released her. But she stays unconscious.

 

“Rey, when I count backward from three, you will wake up and have full memories of who you were and _who you are_. Three...two...one. WIDE AWAKE.” He snaps his fingers.

 

She remains unresponsive.

 

Desperately, Ben moves closer to her, touching her arm. It is clammy to his touch and does not rouse her.

 

“Please Rey...Padme, what is the next thing you remember?”

 

It takes several minutes, but he hears her mumble something about asking if Anakin is all right.

Tears well up in her eyes. All of a sudden, she lets out a scream. Her knees raise up again. She gives a cry of anguish, and then her eyes open, unfocused, seemingly trained on something at her side.

 

“Luke,” she says softly.

 

She gives another cry of pain and moves her pelvis as if in pain. Then she looks again to the side as if she is seeing something he cannot.

 

“Leia,” she says, weaker this time.

 

Ben knows from before that her next spoken words will be her last, and he is desperately afraid her death scene might take Rey from him altogether.

 

“Padme, I’m going to count backward from three to one. When I snap my fingers, you will open your eyes and see me. You will no longer be in your previous life. Listen to me! Three, two, one! WIDE AWAKE!”

 

He snaps his fingers. For a moment, she does not respond. Then her eyes slowly open. Ben moves forward and places an arm around her back to help her sit up. Rey squints as if the light is too bright. She brings a hand to her belly and rubs it, then frowns.

 

Turning to Ben, she looks at him and around the room in confusion.

 

“Where am I?”

 

“You’re safe. You’re in the office with me at the hospital. Rey, are you okay?”

 

She frowns and looks again at her stomach and touches her thighs. She looks around the room and a panicked expression appears on her face.

 

“Why do you call me by that name? _And where are my children?”_

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the shorter than usual chapter, but the second part is too long to tack onto this one. What did you think? And no, she does not recall being Rey or Reychelle right now! Welcome to 2018, Padme!
> 
> **Merry Christmas to all my loyal readers! Without your comments and kudos, I don't think I could have continued this. But you make every chapter a joy to post with your comments, speculation, and good wishes! Thank you to everyone who has commented or chatted me up on Tumblr about this story. To those who expressed concern about my health, I'm recovering and treatment so far has not been bad at all! I plan on living a long life.
> 
> Wishing you much joy this holiday season (whether you celebrate or don't), and for 2019, may you have good health, lasting friendships, and joy beyond measure! 
> 
> The Hypnotist will resume in January 2019!!!
> 
> Love and Blessings,
> 
> Pandora
> 
> [ The Hypnotist Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/user/catness1969/playlist/141YsStWY3Ue6AdGUWCxbQ?si=EFx2xBucQH6_i_Kae-ak0A)
> 
> I'm on Tumblr at [ @pandoraspocksao3 ](https://pandoraspocksao3.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> I'm also on Twitter at [ @Pandora_SpocksAO3 ](https://twitter.com/Pandoraspocksa1/).


	19. All My Yesterdays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/51212640@N04/44779427380/in/dateposted-public/)   
> 

* * *

 

 _“Where are my children?”_ Padme repeated.

 

“Your children are okay, Padme,” Ben said soothingly.

 

She looked around the office.

 

“I’m not in the operating room. Where am I?”

 

“You’re...you’re my guest,” Ben said awkwardly. “You’re safe here.”

 

“Where is _here?_ ”

 

“In a psychiatric hospital.”

 

“A what?”

 

Ben groaned. Getting Padme up to speed was going to take some time.

 

* * *

 

Phasma and Connix were sitting at the nurses’ station when Hux minced through the doors of the unit. He had two uniformed men with him who stood at attention while he surveyed the room.

 

“Dr. Hux- or should I say General Hux since you’ve brought the militia along- what can we do for you?” Phasma asked him cooly.

 

“Where’s Ren?” Hux sniffed imperiously.

 

“Busy,” Connix said, focusing on the desk in front of her.

 

“I demand to see him immediately,” he said authoritatively, striding up to the nurses’ station and looking sternly at Phasma. “He owes me an update on how far along we are.”

 

“Why don’t you and your men take a seat, then,” the nurse replied. “Ren is doing a hypnosis session with the patient, and you don’t want to interrupt that just as he’s getting somewhere.”

 

Hux’s eyebrows rose and he rubbed his hands together.

 

“He is? Tell me what progress he’s made,” he said eagerly.

 

“Levitation, I believe,” Connix piped in nonchalantly. “Is that what you call it when you make things rise up in the air?”

 

Hux smiled in glee. “I knew it! Her sensitivity was off the charts. What object did she levitate?”

 

Connix had been waiting for the question. “This one,” she said, picking up an object and hurling it straight at his face before offhandedly adding, “Here, catch.”

 

Hux howled as something hard and rubbery hit his face and bounced off him. He checked his nose to ensure it wasn’t broken and then narrowed his eyes at the girl.

 

“What was that?” he snarled.

 

Connix shrugged. “A rubber-band ball I made. I got bored.”

 

“Right between the eyes. You should try out for a softball league,” Phasma commented, equally unruffled by Hux.

 

Hux heard a snickering behind him from his men. “You two. Return to the base and await my orders. You aren’t needed here today.”

 

The men exited the unit, trying to keep straight faces.

 

Hux advanced to the desk between him and Connix. He looked at the impertinent young woman and sneered at her as though she were beneath his contempt.

 

“I don’t know why Ren keeps you on. You’re useless. And Phasma, you seem to have gotten insolent lately as well.”

 

“I don’t answer to you, Armitage,” Phasma snapped, rising to her full impressive height. “Connix was just goofing around. You deserved it for strutting in here and making demands so rudely. Who do you think _you_ are? And before you give me your military credentials again, I’ll remind you that Ren is the only chance we have to get answers and cooperation from the girl. You want to use her for military purposes? The only thing _you_ know how to do with minds is break them. You can’t make her cooperate with you willingly. She has to _want_ to do it.”

 

“So how long must I wait?” Hux asked angrily.

 

“It’s going to be at least another couple of hours before they are done, so I would suggest you get some dinner. Why don’t you call Millie and have her meet you?”

 

“Millie is at the beauty salon,” he replied. “She’s getting her hair done.”

 

“What’s she having done? Didn’t she just go in for a trim just a week ago?” Connix asked, intrigued.

 

“She just enjoys having someone brush her hair out. I don’t have to explain her grooming habits to you,” he said, reddening.

 

“Ahem.” Phasma kicked Connix under the table as the girl began to grin. “Isn’t there a new Mexican place that’s pretty good that opened up nearby?”

 

“Yes,” Connix replied. “El Tequila. The fajitas are an experience.”

 

“Fine,” Hux said stiffly. “I’ll go eat and return later.” He whirled and strode out of the unit.

 

“No, he won’t,” Connix said with a self-satisfied grin. “Not if those fajitas do to him what they did to a friend of mine. He’ll be in the bathroom all night.”

 

“Well played, Connix,” Phasma said approvingly, settling back in for a hopefully quiet shift. She’d had enough drama lately.

 

* * *

 

Ben watched with concern as Padme sat on the edge of the seat, hugging herself. Her whole world was gone, and she was in an alien place being asked to believe the impossible. How was she going to process it? Would Reychelle and Rey’s consciousness merge with her own so that she could adapt? He had never heard of a past life regression that had resulted in the personality becoming stuck in the present. This was new territory for him.

 

“So...I died after giving birth, my children grew up without me, and my daughter gave birth to...you?” she said disbelievingly.

 

“Well, not to me specifically...but in my past life they named me after Obi-Wan “Ben” Kenobi, he said slowly.

 

“And you just happen to have the same name in this life?” Padme asked suspiciously.

 

“From what I learned about reincarnation, we ‘remember’ in the same language as our current surroundings. My name was something probably unpronounceable to me now, so my mind adapts by remembering everything in English. For simplicity’s sake, we remember our “past life” name as our present one.”

 

“Except that you said my name is ‘Reychelle’ in this life,” Padme reminded him.

 

“Well, it would seem you have two past lives you have remembered,” Ben said carefully, “the one where you were Rey of Jakku and the other where you were Padme Amidala. But this life is in another galaxy and another time. Here you are ‘Reychelle,’ which she shortened to ‘Rey.’”

 

“How did you put all of that together?” Padme asked.

 

“Because Earth’s science is very limited compared to our previous lives, and we don’t know of other inhabitable galaxies, certainly none that I can remember from my previous life as Ben Solo. And you would have been my grandmother in that life, which I think we can assume that was a long time ago in a galaxy far away.”

 

“But what do you know for _sure_?” Padme asked doubtfully.

 

“I know that everyone I recall from that universe, the people who were in my closest circle of interaction, at any rate, are on this planet with me now,” he stated firmly. “Even Luke and Leia.”

 

Padme brightened at this. “My babies? They’re here? Let me see them!”

 

“No, Padme, I’m afraid you don’t understand. They don’t have any recall of their former lives. My mother and uncle were Force sensitive, like Anakin, and when they died they became one with the Force. So the Luke and Leia who exist here are not the same as the Luke and Leia who you gave birth to. And they are much older. Leia is my mother, and she is over 60 now and retired. Luke was my uncle, but I’m afraid he...well, he’s gone now. Presumed dead in a plane crash,” he said gently.

 

Padme’s eyes filled with tears. “I don’t believe that the Universe could be so cruel as to bring me back here and not let me see my children. I _just_ had them. I just gave birth to them, and it feels like they were ripped from my arms only moments ago.”

 

“I’m so sorry, Padme,” Ben said gently. “From your perspective, of course it seems that way.”

 

“But...you said Anakin was in the Force? I thought only Jedi or users of the Light went into the Force?”

 

“Anakin was turned back to the Light before his death by Luke,” Ben said. “He believed there was still good in his father, and he was right. His father gave up his life to kill the Emperor, and in so doing he lost his own life. But, as Luke told it, not before he looked upon his son with his own eyes and made his peace with him.”

 

Padme’s eyes misted up again. “That’s so good to hear,” she said softly. “No matter what things they accused him of doing, I always knew there was good in him. I told Obi-Wan there was good in him still.”

 

“You were right,” Ben said, taking her hand.

 

“But that means...if he’s in the Force, I won’t see him reincarnated on this planet, doesn’t it? If what you say about Luke and Leia is true, then Anakin isn’t on this planet either?”

 

“I’m sorry, I don’t think he could be. I only remember one previous life. It would seem most logical that if Anakin were reincarnated, I would be the body that hosted his memories, but I remember nothing. I’m afraid the Force isn’t visible to us on Earth.”

 

“Then why did you bring me back?” the former queen asked sorrowfully.

 

“I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know it was possible,” Ben said gently. “Rey must have remembered your life before when I did a hypnosis session but didn’t understand what she saw. When I regressed her, I told her to go to the last point in time where she saw Luke and Leia together. I assumed Luke appeared to her at the last point of her memory as she sat by my mother, but I guess he didn’t. And when I kept insisting, your last moments were what came to her.”

 

Padme stood and paced back and forth in the office.

 

“It seems impossible. I can’t wrap my mind around it. So I would be your...grandmother?”

 

“In another lifetime, yes,” Ben said, thinking that if she continued to be the dominant personality like this, it was going to be very awkward to continue his courtship of Rey.

 

“So how many lifetimes are we reincarnated?” she asked.

 

“I really don’t know,” Ben answered honestly. “I’ve studied reincarnation, but there are many theories about that. Some say you are born again to fix in the present what you broke in the past, or to learn a lesson. All I know for sure is that Hux found me and helped me recall my past life. Then other people around me were regressed and remembered the same lifetime I did, so I was eventually able to accept it.”

 

“All our yesterdays,” Padme said absently.

 

“What?”

 

She shook her head dreamily. “It’s a phrase I seem to have remembered. And, ‘Out, out, brief candle.’ I must have read it somewhere. It makes me think of our situation.”

 

“That’s...that’s from Macbeth, I think.” Ben stood up suddenly and Googled it.

 

_“Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,_

_Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,_

_To the last syllable of recorded time;_

_And all our yesterdays have lighted fools_

_The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!_

_Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,_

_That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,_

_And then is heard no more.”_

_~Macbeth, by William Shakespeare_

  


“Padme...if you can recall a phrase from Shakespeare, Rey or Reychelle must have read it. You couldn’t have read it in your lifetime,” he said excitedly. Rey was in there somewhere.

 

“She must have. I was just thinking how apropos “all our yesterdays” are when you think about reincarnated souls. It could go on for infinity...like looking into a mirror and seeing one’s reflection multiplied forever.”

 

Ben tried to remember what Rey had told him. Wasn’t there something about a mirror cave where she had seen what Padme had just described?

 

“I need to be alone, Ben. I need to grieve my children, please.” She gave a wave of her hand that indicated he was to leave.

 

Ben stood awkwardly. He didn’t want to leave her by herself, but her regal manner reminded him he was not dealing with either of his other two Reys. She was absorbing a great deal of information, and it seemed like giving her some privacy was the least he could do for her.

 

“I’ll give you some time, then,” he said, exiting his own office and leaving the door cracked.

 

As he walked down the hallway, he was met by an agitated Connix.

 

“I can’t think of a way to put him off. Hux is here, and he wants to see Rey.”

 

“Oh, fuck,” Ben said under his breath. “Thanks for the heads up, kiddo. This would not be a good time for him to see her.”

 

“I tried to send him out to this restaurant where I was pretty sure he’d get food poisoning, but I guess he ordered something else.”

 

“I appreciate the effort,” Ben said absently as Connix moved past him to join Phasma at the nurses’ station.

 

Hux was indeed waiting for him in the lounge area. His pinched face looked impatient.

 

“Ren! I’ve been waiting for you to call me and update me on what’s happening. I need to meet with the girl and get her started on remote viewing. There is a situation overseas that she would be most helpful with-”

 

“Well, that’s not happening,” Ben said firmly. “Rey has had an exhausting day and the hypnosis has tired her out, so she’s going to be resting this afternoon.”

 

“Afternoon? It’s almost evening!” Hux said in exasperation.

 

“Is it?” The time had slipped away from him, Ben realized. He saw Evie arriving on the unit to get the shift handoff from Phasma. He hadn’t realized it was so late.

 

“Hux, I don’t have time to give you a report. I need to talk to Phasma before the evening shift starts.”

 

“I’m not leaving without seeing her! You’ve put me off long enough, Ren. There are certain tests of her abilities that must be conducted. She’s of no use to me if she’s just here as your plaything or whatever you’re up to with her,” Hux said irritably.

 

Ben stiffened and turned around slowly.

 

“My ‘plaything?’” he said quietly but menacingly.

 

“Your plaything, whore, bed-buddy. I don’t care what she is to you, but you don’t want to get so attached that you forget that this is about revenge for you and information for me. We had a deal, and if all you’re doing is bedding the girl and not getting information, then-”

 

Hux never got to finish his sentence. Ben’s fist caught him on the jaw and spun him around, knocking him to the floor. Hux was seeing stars when he felt himself being hoisted up by his lapels and shoved into a chair.

 

“Get up, you piece of filth. How _dare_ you speak of her that way to me?” Ben roared.

 

“Fight, fight, FIGHT!” Connix cheered from the nurses’ station.

 

“Bloody hell,” Phasma murmured.

 

“What’s going on?” Evie chimed in.

 

A little smile crossed the general’s pale visage as he tested his jaw. “I’d forgotten how strong you are when you’re angry, Ren. What feats you could have accomplished in your former life with that kind of rage. Pity all you can do is swing your fists in this one.”

 

“Don’t tempt me to find out,” Ben hissed.

 

“Do it!” Hux encouraged, his eyes gleaming madly, heedless of the danger to himself.

 

“Why would I deny myself the pleasure of beating you to a pulp, even if I could zap you with Force lightning? Get up, you bastard. Fight me.”

 

Ben’s blood was boiling, his eyes were seeing red, and the thought of Hux thinking of Rey in that regard made him want to tear him apart. His bloodlust was interrupted by the sound of thumping on the main doors, and he turned to see Padme had swept past them and was attempting to open the doors of the unit.

 

Evie rushed over to her and put her arm out to draw her back, but Padme brushed her hands away and turned around in frustration.

 

“This door does not open, nor do the windows. I wish to leave,” she announced, taking a stance that indicated she expected the doors to be opened for her.

 

Evie stepped back, not sure of what was going on. Connix and Phasma likewise looked to Ben, who reluctantly stepped away from Hux and slowly walked over to where Padme stood at the door, tapping her foot.

 

“I- I can’t let you leave,” Ben said gently. _Shit, how am I supposed to explain this to everyone?_

 

“ _Let?_ I wasn’t asking permission. You may escort me if you feel I require protection,” Padme said, her bearing stiff and regal. “That woman,” she said, nodding at Evie, “can exchange clothes with me if we need to fool anyone. I just need a cloak to hide my face and I will be on my way.”

 

“Please,” Ben said, attempting to placate her. “It’s not safe for you to leave, Your Highness.”

 

“Your Highness?” Phasma said in confusion. “Did the Duchess of Cambridge make a surprise visit?”

 

_Rey. Rey, please hear me in your mind and come back to your senses._

 

“What is this, Ren? Who does the girl think she is?” Hux was shakily getting to his feet and walking over to inspect the scene.

 

“I’ve had quite enough of this,” Padme said, stomping her foot and looking at Ben impatiently. “I said we are leaving. You may provide escort, but we are going. I want to see this planet for myself.”

 

“Well now, this is an interesting development,” chuckled Hux. “Care to explain it, Ren?”

 

Padme cocked her head at him.

 

“Perhaps you can bring some compassion and sanity to this situation, sir?”

 

Hux sucked in his breath. “What- what did you say, my dear?”

 

“Padme, this is not a good solution,” Ben said in a low voice.

 

“No, but perhaps it’s time for aggressive negotiation since you aren’t willing to take me out of here,” she replied frostily.

 

“My dear, I’d like very much to speak with you and could escort you out of here if you like,” Hux said, taking a step forward and wiping the blood from his mouth with one of his handkerchiefs.

 

Padme looked at him for a moment. “Have we met?”

 

“Stay back,” Ben snarled at him.

 

“My lady,” Evie said hesitantly, giving an awkward little curtsey, “perhaps we could go to your room and we could see about suitable clothes in your wardrobe?”

 

“Thank you,” Padme said. “And when I return, one of you will escort me to a ship. I don’t wish to stay here any longer.” She followed Evie down the hallway to her room.

 

“Oh boy,” Phasma said under her breath. “Ben?”

 

Connix looked at Padme and then at Hux in confusion. “What’s going on?”

 

“The hypnosis session didn’t go as planned. I need to get her back to my office or just to her room so I can try to get her to go under again,” Ben said quickly. “Hux, you need to leave before I beat the shit out of you.”

 

“Oh, I think I’d like to stick around for Her Highness to return,” Hux said smugly.

 

“So you’re bailing on Millie, then?” Connix asked innocently.

 

“What?” Hux said in confusion.

 

“Where did I put that message...oh yes, she called about a half hour ago when you boys were fighting and said for you to pick up some milk from the store and meet her at home for dinner.”

 

“To be continued, then. I’ll return here tomorrow, Ren, and I _will_ spend some time with the girl. She’s obviously confused. If it is impairing her abilities, perhaps you’re not the right hypnotist for the job.”

 

“And you think I’d let you near her?” Ben sneered.

 

“Come now, we’re all friends, aren’t we? I’m not the one welching on my end of this plan. She’s here, she’s contained as you wished and can’t leave you, also as you wished. But now you have to get her to do what I need. We had a deal.”

 

Ben looked at his colleague with undisguised hatred. What had once been a solid friendship had disintegrated, and he regretted having trusted him so implicitly.

 

“Want to walk me to my car, Hux? Poe Dameron is in town tonight, and I have a date,” Connix said nonchalantly, grabbing her coat and waiting expectantly by the door.

 

Hux smiled in a way that suggested he was biding his time for now.

 

“Indeed, who are any of us to get in the way of young love,” Hux said with amusement.

 

“I can only hope to find a soulmate as perfect for me as Millicent is for you,” Connix said with a straight face, opening the door and striding through it, prompting Hux to follow her.

 

The minute the door closed, Phasma was at Ben’s side.

 

“What’s going on here?” she asked worriedly. “And why is Rey behaving like royalty?”

 

“Because that’s what Padme Amidala was,” Ben sighed, preparing to get his ally up to speed.

 

* * *

 

Padme watched as the pretty young handmaiden went through her closet, which had very few outfits in it, all of which looked alien to any fashion she was familiar with. In a placating manner, Evie told her there wasn’t anything suitable for her to wear outside, but that if she could be patient, she would have Phasma return in the morning with something suitable for her.

 

Padme knew when she was being lied to.

 

Patiently she agreed that this would be the wiser course and asked to use the ‘fresher, which Evie called a “bathroom,” and she entered it willingly, thinking while the water cleansed her what her options were. Obviously Ben was not going to let her leave, and grandson or not, if Leia was on this planet, even if he didn’t believe she was the reincarnation of her daughter, Padme was determined to find her. She had let her grief over Anakin’s fall from grace take her away from them once before. She would not desert her children now. And while it might be too late for her to meet Luke, she wanted to see her daughter.

 

She felt an almost physical ache as she washed her belly and her breasts, thinking of her more ripened form of only a day ago in her memory. She allowed herself the luxury of a good cry as she recalled the nightmarish scene of Mustafar as Anakin turned and choked her in his jealousy and rage. Had Obi-wan said he was alright? Ben had been so brief in his description of what had happened. Just that he had turned to the Dark Side and ruled with the Emperor until Luke had gone to him and fought with him, eventually turning him back to the Light.

 

But then...her sweet Ani had died soon after taking off his mask and gazing upon his son. Why he had needed a mask, Ben had neglected to mention. Padme closed her eyes and remembered their time on Naboo. The way Ani looked at her. The ups and downs of his temper as he grew up. Obi-Wan coming to tell her that Anakin had turned to the Dark Side. She hadn’t wanted to believe it. And the rest of it. The Chancellor, the man she had once supported, had been behind it all. Palpatine was the Sith Lord that the Jedi had been looking for.

 

She saw it all now. Palpatine had turned her soulmate against her by playing upon his fears of losing her. All those damn dreams he’d had of her dying in childbirth...which had come true, apparently. Palpatine used his fears against him, she reasoned. That was what Anakin must have meant by saying his “new powers” could save her. That was the only reason he would have agreed to be his apprentice and do such awful things.

 

Palpatine with his terrible lies and manipulation, she thought. He had robbed her of her husband and children. Anger swelled inside her as she stepped out of the shower, dried off, and changed into a nightgown and robe.

 

Evie came in soon after as she sat down on her bed.

 

“Rey, or Your Ladyship, if you prefer? I brought you some meds to help you sleep. Dr. Solo and Nurse Phasma have gone for the evening, but they will be back tomorrow. It’s just me on the unit tonight since Connix worked during the day. Will you need anything else before you go to bed?

 

Padme regarded her. Evie had a sweet, kind face and seemed to have a good heart. She reminded her of her favorite handmaiden and decoy, Sabe. But Evie seemed to have no recollection of a previous life, so she dutifully pretended to be “Rey.” Best not to confuse people, she thought, until she had come up with a plan.

 

“Thank you,” she said graciously, accepting the pills and the glass of water Evie had brought. “I’m sorry I wasn’t myself earlier. Long day.”

 

“Oh, don’t you fret, sweetheart,” the pretty nurse said, giving her shoulders a squeeze affectionately. “Goodnight.”

 

Padme wasn’t accustomed to being touched by others, as her status had pretty much ensured people kept a respectful distance from her due to her rank as queen and then senator. She forced herself to relax into the hug and smiled at her, pretending to take the pills but tucking them in her cheek. She smiled and then snuggled into her pillow, surreptitiously spitting the meds into her hand and then hiding them in the pillowcase.

 

The lights were switched off, and she lay in bed patiently trying to formulate her next move. She wanted to see her daughter, the woman Ben called Leia, and see if there was any kind of spark of recognition. She felt like she had failed her children. Perhaps she should try to help her grandchild, Ben, but that was going to be awkward considering he was clearly in love with the girl whose body she was in. No, it was her children who called to her. If she hadn’t let her life slip away before, would her children have suffered? She might never get another chance to make it right with them. Or at least do what she could.

 

About an hour passed. Padme lay restless in her bed when she sensed a presence near her bed. The form was taller than that of Evie, and for a moment she thought her grandson had returned. Then the light switched on, and as her eyes adjusted she saw her mistake.

 

“Good evening, Your Highness. I thought I would return after the others left so we could have a bit of privacy. I don’t know if you recognize me or not, but if you’d still like to leave the unit, I believe I can assist you.” The pale form of Hux in a black trenchcoat hovered ominously over her bed.

 

“What have you done with the night nurse,” Padme asked suspiciously.

 

“Nothing terrible, I assure you. I’m a doctor as well. I merely surprised her at her desk and gave her an injection so that she’ll have a good night’s sleep while we leave.”

 

“I’ll change, then, if you will give me a moment,” Padme said, her heart beating faster.

 

“Certainly, My Lady. I realize this must seem disruptive, but perhaps once you are familiar with me, you’ll allow me to escort you to a place where there is additional security to protect you.”

 

Padme got up and rummaged through her closet, picking out some practical clothes that would be easy to move around in. She excused herself and quickly changed in the bathroom. She returned to her room and found him waiting in the doorway.

 

“Did you say additional security? I don’t believe that-”

 

“-the situation is that serious? No, but I do, Senator.”

 

“I see,” she said, her heart beating rapidly and a strange feeling which she realized was hatred bloomed in her chest.

 

“In that case, we had better be going, Chancellor Palpatine.”

 

* * *

 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dum dum DUUUUUMMMMM!!!!
> 
> Another reveal! Did you see that coming for Hux? I left clues in his dialogue that I took or paraphrased from the prequels and trilogy. I thought it would be much more interesting to have Palpatine here than Snoke. 
> 
> I have to thank my wonderful beta, [ StarHorse7 ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarHorse7/pseuds/StarHorse7), known as [ @starhorse ](https://star-horse.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, who took time out of her VERY busy schedule to beta this chapter as well as the draft of the next one. Kristian, thank you so much for all your support and feedback!
> 
> Thank you to @semperfidana on Tumblr for this wonderful moodboard! [ Hypnotist Moodboard ](https://pandoraspocksao3.tumblr.com/post/181759122876/pandoraspocksao3-the-hypnotist-by)
> 
> I hesitate to say anything else, except the next chapter is in rough draft and will be released in two weeks so you won't have to wait too long. I'm working on wrapping up the story! As always, your comments motivate and excite me so much! I love reading and interacting with you!
> 
> Next update will be 01/17/2019!
> 
> [ The Hypnotist Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/user/catness1969/playlist/141YsStWY3Ue6AdGUWCxbQ?si=EFx2xBucQH6_i_Kae-ak0A)
> 
> I'm on Tumblr at [ @pandoraspocksao3 ](https://pandoraspocksao3.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> I'm also on Twitter at [ @Pandora_SpocksAO3 ](https://twitter.com/Pandoraspocksa1/).
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	20. Maternal Instincts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/51212640@N04/31779791257/in/dateposted-public/)   
> 

Padme went with Hux without resistance to the Parking Level of the building, but when she saw the black town car with two security guards present, she turned to him.

 

“Really, Chancellor, the guards won’t be necessary unless you are difficult about this. I heard you speak of striking a bargain with Ben? Well, if you want my cooperation, there is something I require of you as well. Otherwise, you can force me into that car but you would sooner get a stone to cooperate with you.”

 

Hux’s pinched face took on the superior smug smile of the Emperor, and he looked at her with cool confidence.

 

“My dear, please spare yourself the indignity of making demands when we both know I hold the upperhand,” he said snidely.

 

“Do you? From what I can glean from the memories of this body, you want psychic ability at your disposal, powers which you think I have. Powers which you yourself must lack. The powers which you used to try to kill my son, Luke?”

 

“Young Skywalker was foolish to attack and throw away an opportunity to be my apprentice. His father was even more foolish to kill me when it meant his own death. He could have had unlimited power.” Hux sniffed dismissively.

 

Padme shook her head at him. “You’re so wrong. My son showed exemplary courage in facing you. He risked all to save a man he wouldn’t give up on. My husband redeemed himself in killing you to save Luke. But you wouldn’t know about that because you’ve never loved anyone or anything except yourself.”

 

“Bah. Love makes us weak. At least your grandson learned that lesson when he killed his father - your son-in-law.” He paused as he saw her wince.

 

“I’m so sorry, Your Highness. Too soon?” he sneered.

 

“You- you were Snoke? How is that possible when you were alive as Hux at that time?”

 

“I wasn’t Snoke. But I remember it because I have his memories as well as Palpatine’s. Then, in this lifetime, Ben told me everything when we were at university together. He thought we were friends, poor fool.”

 

Hux shook his head, remembering, and then continued.

 

“Snoke was foolish to use pain as an incentive. It’s far better to use revenge. It worked with Anakin- with Darth Vader, and it worked with your grandson. Oh, he was so eager to punish you for the great crime of _leaving_ him! It was a pretty easy ask. Easy for me to work with. He uses the Skywalker Hospital to lock his ‘Rey’ up, and I get access to your psychic abilities.”

 

“And what would you do with these ‘psychic abilities’ I possess?” Padme asked cooly.

 

“Why, what I’ve always done with them, my dear. It's always been about having ultimate power!” He chuckled manically.

 

“You’re crazy. From what I’ve heard of the political system here, you’d have to be a president of the country to do that,” she retorted.

 

“Ah, but you haven’t studied the system like I have. You think the president holds the power? He’s a puppet. Especially the current one. There is a shadow government that advises him and shapes world events. All this chaos that is going on now politically is by my design...and when the time is right, with the tools you provide me, I will eventually take power myself.”

 

“What a grandiose plan. It sounds like you’ve learned nothing from the past. However, I’ll agree to go with you and not try to escape, but only if you meet my conditions.”

 

“Not happening.”

 

“You haven’t even asked me what I want,” she said, undeterred.

 

“And what is that?”

 

“I want to see Leia Organa Solo. My daughter.”

 

“Oh please, Your Highness. She has no memories of who she was. I checked that out thoroughly, believe me. I went with Ren to visit his family and ensured neither his mother nor his father had their former past life memories. It would be a wasted trip.”

 

“Then what does it matter to you? I only want to visit with her, and then I’ll go with you somewhere and you can hypnotize me or whatever you want to do to access these powers of mine. Seems like a fair trade to me.”

 

Hux narrowed his eyes and looked at her with suspicion.

 

“And why would you cooperate so willingly with me when I can feel how much you hate me?”

 

“Because the love I have for my daughter is even greater than my hatred for you. And I have my suspicions that no matter where you take me, Ben will eventually find you and end you.”

 

He laughed.

 

“If you think he’s going to be your salvation, I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed.”

 

“My daughter is my salvation,” Padme replied quietly. “Now do we have a deal or not? Can you take me to see Leia Solo? If she has no memory of me or her past life and she also thinks you are a family friend, what’s the harm? This is the last place Ben will suspect we’ll go. Or are you frightened of Princess Leia?”

 

“Hardly,” he scoffed. “All right, you’ve convinced me. But my men are coming along and waiting in the car. I’m not convinced you’ll cooperate with me.”

 

“Once I’ve seen my children - my child - I will go with you.”

 

“Then, My Lady, your chariot awaits.” He gave a mock bow and gestured for his men to get the doors. However, to his surprise the doors of the car flew open by themselves. He turned to Padme, who had her eyes closed and hand outstretched.

 

“I don’t know what you call that skill, but it would seem moving objects is within my capability. There’s a little taste of my powers as an incentive. I could escape you quite easily. Now take me to my daughter, you horrid little man.”

 

With that, Padme swept by Hux and settled herself serenely in the back seat. Hux got in on the other side and issued commands to his driver. They drove away into the blackness of the night.

 

* * *

 

 

Ben arrived at the hospital the next morning early, anxious to check on Rey and see if her personality was still that of Padme or if Reychelle and Rey’s personalities and memories had merged with hers. He was anxious to fix what had happened, if he could only figure out how. He was concerned for Padme as well. She was obviously traumatized by what happened, and it had hurt him that he couldn’t grant her wish and take her off the unit.

 

He had to protect her from Hux. He should never have gotten involved with Hux. He knew that now, but it was easier said than done to extricate himself from this mess.

 

_When seeking revenge, first dig two graves…_

 

The Confucius quote haunted him. He wished he had never sought revenge on Rey. The more time he spent with her, the more he realized how misguided his hurt and anger at her had been. Rey wanted to save her friends. She hadn’t left him; she had left behind the destruction she thought he would cause.

 

_Let the past die._

 

What a laugh. Not only could he not escape his past, he couldn’t escape his _past life!_

 

He would make it right. He had to. He’d been a good son. He’d tried to help people. He’d tried to be a better person. Only with Rey was he blinded by his anger and quest for revenge, and all it had done was create problems for him.

 

_Maybe today will be an easier day?_

 

He entered the psych unit and looked around for Evie. He frowned when he saw her asleep at her desk. He knew the night shift was long, but Evie was very conscientious and had never slept on the job. He used his badge so he could unlock the gate that kept the patients out. He went over to where she was sitting and gently shook her by the shoulders. 

 

“Evie...wake up, please.”

 

She sluggishly struggled to wake up, but Ben could see by the way her head lolled something was wrong. Then he saw the hypodermic syringe. He saw the needle mark in her neck.

 

“Evie, wake up!” He slapped her face lightly and to his relief, she began to stir. “Evie, who was here? Who did this to you? Someone injected you with something to put you to sleep. Who was it?”

 

“H-Hux,” she gasped.

 

Connix arrived and rushed to help Evie.

 

“What happened? Hux did this to you? What the hell?”

 

Ben vaulted over the top of the desk rather than unlock the gate and ran to Rey’s room. She was gone. Her bed looked as though she had slept some, but her wardrobe door was open. Her coat was gone, too.

 

_Where would he have taken her?_

 

He pulled out his cell phone and dialed Hux. It rang until it went to voicemail.

 

“Call me back, you son of a bitch!” he snarled into it. Frustrated, he called Hux’s answering service to see if they knew where he was. They had no idea.

 

_Rey. Rey, please hear me. I know you’re still there. Please tell me what’s happening to you. I’ll come to you. Listen to me. Tell me where you are! Please!_

 

There was nothing. He pulled out the outfit she was wearing yesterday and placed his face in its folds, breathing in her scent. He wished with all his heart the Force Bond would work and he could see where she was.  Reychelle. Rey. Padme.

 

He was going to kill Hux, government operative or not, when he found him.

 

* * *

 

Padme looked at the beautiful little house tucked away in the trees and felt she was coming home. They had driven all night, and the sun was high in the midday sky when they pulled up in front of it. Hux had called ahead an hour ago to let Leia know casually he was in the area and would like to stop by for old times sake and say hello. She had let him know he would be welcome.

 

“Alright, remember, your name is Rey and you are my assistant. Don’t deviate from that script or this will be a short visit, do you understand?” Hux threatened.

 

Padme merely nodded. He was immaterial to her now that she was at her daughter’s house. Now that the moment was at hand, she felt nervous. They stood outside the front door, and at Hux’s knock, the door was opened by a petite woman with salt and pepper hair wearing comfortable clothing. She smiled at Hux and raised her eyebrows when she saw Rey.

 

“Who is this young lady?” Leia asked Hux.

 

“My assistant, Rey,” he replied smoothly.

 

“Does Millicent know you travel with such lovely young assistants?" She arched an eyebrow at Hux. "You look familiar, Rey. Come in, sit down, both of you. Let’s have tea.”

 

Padme took in the graceful beauty of the older woman. Her face was lined, but the eyes were warm and bespoke of a sense of humor. Her personality seemed to be reflected in the warmth of the cozy home. A Christmas tree stood decoratively in the middle of the living room, although the season was long past, and several fun and offbeat knick-knacks decorated the home. It had a very warm and lived-in feel to it, and she felt instantly at home. She almost took her shoes off.

 

“You have a lovely home...Leia,” she said in almost a whisper. It was hard to believe she was in her daughter’s presence. Padme had no doubt it was her daughter. The pull she felt toward her was undeniable.

 

Leia looked at her strangely. “Forgive me, but...were you ever a patient of mine? Your face is so familiar.”

 

Hux coughed as if to intervene, but the women ignored him.

 

“Yes, I took antidepressants and met with you once for a refill,” Padme said, accessing the memory from Reychelle’s past. “I didn’t get to really talk to you for long, though.”

 

“Ah yes, I’m afraid the psychiatrists don’t do much but dispense medication, unfortunately. I miss talking with patients. I’m glad I’m retired now and have left the drudgery of running the place to my son. Have you met him? His name is Ben Solo.”

 

Padme brightened, but Hux interjected, “She’s had limited interaction with him. She’s _my_ assistant.”

 

Leia looked at Padme, sensing her disquiet.

 

“Hux, I see you brought some of your government agents with you. Do be a dear and take some tea out to them. I feel awful that we are enjoying warm drinks in here and they are freezing sitting in that car out there.”

 

“They’re fine, I assure you,” Hux responded quickly.

 

“Nevertheless, I want you to take them that plate of cookies and some drinks, dear. That’s an order. My house, my rules, you know.” Leia winked at Rey.

 

Hux stood, giving Padme a warning glance, and then took the cookies and drinks out to the car.

 

“So, do you want to tell me what’s going on?” Leia asked Padme.

 

“What do you mean? How do you know something is going on?” Padme asked in confusion.

 

“First of all, Hux has never done this, and his assistant is Connix when she isn’t assisting my son. You’re a patient, so you wouldn’t have been hired on as an assistant. So what is the situation?”

 

Padme looked at her admiringly. Her daughter’s mind was razor sharp.

 

“I love how strong you are. I can see how you rose to being a princess and a general. It’s all part of your bearing.”

 

Leia cocked her head to one side and paused. She sat back and looked at her intently, then out the window at Hux by the car.

 

“Quickly, let’s go out back and walk in the garden. Try to act casual. I’ll grab my cane.”

 

Padme went to her and helped her up, encircling her with an arm.

 

“You can lean on me, Leia. I’ll help you.”

 

“I think you might be the one in need of help, my dear Rey, but let’s go outside.”

 

The two women went in the back of the house where a beautiful English garden flourished in the sun. As they walked around the gravel paths slowly, Leia kept her manner casual, pointing to various plants as they talked.

 

“Why are you here, Rey? Are you in trouble?”

 

“Not exactly. And I’m _not_ Rey. Leia...can we sit for a moment?”

 

They were by a bench, and they sat down on it together. Padme reached out and touched Leia’s face, her eyes welling up with tears.

 

“I know this will be difficult for you to understand. I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’m...I’m your mother, Leia. My name was Padme Amidala, and I gave birth to you in a past life. You don’t have to believe me, but I had to say it, just once.”

 

Leia inhaled deeply and then took her hand. For a long moment, she closed her eyes. Then she spoke.

 

“Contrary to what Hux and Ben think, I know who I was in my past life. I had my reasons for not letting on, but I remember everything and I believe you. From the moment I saw you today, I felt a connection. Somehow...you, in this young body...you’re my mother.”

 

Padme reached out and embraced her. “I’m so sorry. I never meant to leave you or your brother. I gave up on life when- when your father turned to the Dark Side. It broke my heart. But I shouldn’t have let it. I had two children to live for, but I wasn’t strong enough. What you had to live through...I could have protected you, perhaps. I’ll never know. Leia, can you forgive me?”

 

Padme’s arms tightened around the older woman’s back.

 

“Mother,” Leia said softly, wonderingly. “I can see you, as you were, in my mind right now. You were so beautiful. I wish...I wish you had been my mother when I grew up, but I had two wonderful adoptive parents who raised me. I hope you would have been proud of me.”

 

“Oh Leia, my heart...I am so proud of you. Ben told me so much about you, but touching you now, it’s like I can see your entire life in a vision. You fought so hard, you were so happy, and then…” Padme trailed off as the vision came to her of Leia’s life. “How sad. Oh my, Ben broke your heart...my poor girl.”

 

“It was the most awful thing,” Leia whispered.

 

“What happened? After the attack on Crait, what happened to you after you left in the Falcon?”

 

“I don’t know,” Leia replied. “My last memory is sitting with Rey and telling her we had everything we needed.”

 

Padme pulled back and thought for a moment. “That’s my- that’s Rey’s last memory, too. How strange that your memories both stop there.”

 

“Do you remember the moment you died?” Leia asked her.

 

“I remember giving birth, and the last thing I remember was naming you and your brother and looking at your sweet faces. Then I told Obi-Wan there was still good in your father. Then everything went black, and I guess I died. Then somehow Ben brought me back through hypnosis, and now I’m here. My only thoughts were how to get to my children and help you in any way that I could. I’m here, my darling. I’m here.”

 

Leia clasped her to her harder, and finally both women broke apart, wiping away tears. “I’ve had a happy life, Mother. And there is nothing to forgive. I wish I’d known you in my lifetime, but I think it had to happen like it did. And knowing you now - my heart is full. And now...my hopes lie with my son. The Ben Solo of the past was lost to us, I think. I can’t remember. But Ben Solo in this lifetime could be happy, if he would let himself be. I keep tabs on him without his knowing about it.”

 

“Someone told you!” Padme exclaimed, putting it together. She suddenly remembered everything from Rey/Reychelle’s memories and exclaimed, “Of course! Someone has been keeping you informed of what was going on - you’ve known all along what’s going on at the hospital, haven’t you? Why didn’t you come back? You’ve had your past life memories all this time and Ben doesn’t know it!”

 

“Shhh, calm yourself, Mother,” Leia said gently. “There’s a good reason for that. Ben has to work out his own karma. That’s how past lives work. If I went in and solved all his problems for him, he wouldn’t accomplish anything in this life. He has to work through this himself, as much as it pains me to watch.”

 

“I understand,” Padme said, a bit sadly. “And your brother’s fate?”

 

“Presumed dead in a plane crash,” Leia said carefully. “But you would have loved him. He sacrificed himself in his previous life and became one with the Force.”

 

“But what of you? Leia, how is it possible you are reincarnated and not in the Force yourself?”

 

“I guess my karmic cycle wasn’t over with. I don’t mind. I got to have a loving son this go around who took care of his father and who I was able to mother and guide better than I did before. My only mistake was not realizing who Hux was. Hux cannot know I have my memories; it would put Ben in danger.”

 

“I understand,” Padme reassured her.

 

“From what I've been told, Ben was falling for your current incarnation as ‘Reychelle.’ Are you...are you going to stay in control of this body for good? I love seeing you, but it might be a bit awkward if things progress with Reychelle and Ben!”

 

Padme laughed. “I’ve no interest in kissing my grandson! Not like that. I’ve done almost everything I’ve set out to do. When I have completed that, I think the Force will take me or I will move on. Right now it’s like Rey and Reychelle’s memories are echoes in my mind, but even if we share the same soul, this isn’t my life. I don’t know how this works, but I knew I was here for a purpose: to find my children and make sure they were alright. And I can see that you are, although it breaks my heart to know I’m too late for Luke.”

 

“He would have loved you, Mother,” Leia said quietly. “I hope you join him one day in the Force.”

 

“I don’t know if that happens to non-Force users,” Padme replied.

 

“I can’t believe in a Universe where we aren’t all together at some point,” Leia said, holding her mother’s hand.

 

“Yes, I agree. My beautiful girl,” Padme said, her eyes tearing up.

 

Leia laughed. “This must look so ridiculous. You, this 20-something woman mothering an old woman like me.”

 

“Not that old,” Padme protested. “And you’ll always be my daughter. I see your life, Leia, and I’m glad for the beautiful parts. I wish I could have eased your pain for the hard times. Most of all, I want you to know I loved you, and I wish I could have been strong enough to hang on and be there for you.”

 

“There’s nothing to forgive, Mother,” Leia said quietly.

 

“That’s everything. Thank you,” Padme said, impulsively leaning forward and kissing Leia’s forehead.

 

“Hux is coming back. What are you going to do next?” Leia asked.

 

“Go with him, I guess. I suppose you won’t be intervening, since this is technically a Rey/Ben thing?”

 

“Exactly right. It’s his karma. My informant is keeping me in the loop. For their protection, I'm going to keep who it is a secret, just in case Ben or Hux hypnotizes you again.”

 

“Hm, now I'll be wondering who it is,” Padme laughed. “Wish me luck with this next part.”

 

“Be careful. I think I know what you are going to do, and I hope you succeed. If you do...well, pass on the forgiveness, do you understand?” Leia said softly.

 

“Yes, I understand. I don’t know if it will work, but I feel my time here is coming to an end. Goodbye, my daughter. Know that I love you, and may the Force be with you.”

 

The women shared one last embrace, and then Padme headed back to the living room, where an impatient Hux was waiting.

 

“Armitage, sorry we kept you waiting. Girl talk. Showing off my garden. Did you want to see it?” Leia asked casually.

 

“No,” Hux said curtly. “General, is there anything you wish to say to me?” He squinted his eyes at Leia shrewdly, as if trying to deduce if she knew who his other alter ego was.

 

Leia looked at him with confusion. “Who are you talking to? Did you bring someone else along?”

 

“I’m confused as well, Hux,” Padme said carefully. “I thought you were the only general in our car? I’m ready to go take the psychological tests you wanted me to do when you’re ready to leave. Dr. Organa has been very hospitable, but I fear I tired her out walking through her lovely garden and we should take our leave of her.”

 

“I see,” Hux said stiffly. “A slip of the tongue. Leia, it was good to see you again. I’ll let Ben know we stopped by. Will you be coming to visit soon?”

 

“Oh no, I’m quite happy here with my memories of Han and my garden and my books,” Leia said blandly. “I’m really a homebody. Ben knows where I am if he wants to visit. You two have a safe trip. I don’t know what kind of psychological tests you are doing, but it sounds interesting.”

 

“Oh yes, I’m quite eager to collaborate with Dr. Hux. It was nice meeting you again, Dr. Organa,” Padme said, regaining her composure. She walked over to Hux and took his arm. She had to protect Leia at all costs.

 

“Goodbye, then,” Leia said softly.

 

“Be...be happy,” Padme said, turning swiftly and practically dragging Hux out the door.

 

Hux tightened his grip on Padme’s arm, although she gave him no trouble as they walked toward the car.

 

“So, Leia Organa was not, in fact, your reincarnated daughter,” Hux said smugly.

 

“She had no memories of it, but I felt a closeness with her. That was enough,” Padme said shortly. She hoped it was convincing. “Thank you for letting me see her. I’ll go with you now. Where are we going, by the way?”

 

“That would fall in the ‘need to know basis,’ and you do not need to know,” Hux said roughly.

 

“I feel myself starting to fade. I’m going to nap in the car. And Chancellor - I want you to know something. You’re going to lose, and you’re going to lose _big_. I’m just sorry I won’t be there to see it when karma catches up with you,” she said, yawning and settling herself in the car seat.

 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Hux snapped. “How would you know anything?”

 

“Did you forget? I have psychic abilities. I believe you called it...ah, yes. Seeing the future is ‘precognition,’ isn’t it? So there you go. Go ahead and get the ‘Loser’ t-shirt, you power-hungry sack of bantha fodder.”

 

“How dare you,” Hux shouted at her, but Padme was curled up against the window, her head resting upon her arm, a smile upon her face as she relived the reunion with her lost daughter again in her mind.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you to my fabulous Beta, [ StarHorse7 ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarHorse7/pseuds/StarHorse7), known as [ @starhorse ](https://star-horse.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, who lent her time to read and give feedback on this chapter! 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy it. And as always...let the speculation commence! Your comments make writing this so much fun!
> 
> [ The Hypnotist Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/user/catness1969/playlist/141YsStWY3Ue6AdGUWCxbQ?si=EFx2xBucQH6_i_Kae-ak0A)
> 
> I'm on Tumblr at [ @pandoraspocksao3 ](https://pandoraspocksao3.tumblr.com/).
> 
> I'm also on Twitter at [ @Pandora_SpocksAO3 ](https://twitter.com/Pandoraspocksa1/).


	21. The Japor Snippet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rock me, Anidala!
> 
>  
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/162600702@N02/46469425024/in/dateposted-public/)  
> 

* * *

Ben paced the hall of the empty psych unit in frustration. Security footage had shown Rey leaving the unit with Hux, apparently willingly. He went back to her patient room to look for clues, but he had a sense of growing dread that the worst had happened. He had put off Hux for too long, and now he feared the man had made good on his threat and taken Rey to an undisclosed military location where he could test her abilities himself.

 

Ben had called Hux multiple times on his mobile, but it always went to voicemail. His suspicions were confirmed when he called Hux at his home number and spoke to his wife, Millicent, who told him in her nonchalant way that her husband was going to be away on business for up to a week before he was due home again.

 

It wasn't like Hux to be away from his beloved wife for more than a few days, so Ben knew his suspicions were most likely correct.

 

He lay back on Rey's bed, inhaling the sweet scent of her pillow. He closed his eyes and reached out with his mind.

 

_ Rey, please, can you hear me? Let me know where you are and I will come find you. Are you hurt? Where are you? _

 

Silence.

 

He could not sense her or get any idea of her surroundings, but then it was hard for him to still his mind and concentrate when his worry was so great.

 

Remote viewing was a murky skill at best, usually only providing him with brief glimpses of a person's surroundings. He had never let on to Hux that he possessed the skill, knowing Hux would only try to exploit it for the CIA and his greed for power. Luckily, his psychic skill was not the only way he had of finding Rey.

 

A wave of grief and regret washed over him. If only he hadn't wanted revenge on Rey for leaving him. It was literally another lifetime ago, but he hadn't been able to let it go. He had gotten past his resentment at his parents and was glad he had had a good relationship with his father before he died. He still checked in with his mother at least twice a week. He felt he had learned from the past and corrected his relationships with Han and Leia.

 

But his anger at Rey for leaving him after he had offered her the Galaxy had still burned hot. Looking back, he realized that Hux had listened to him rant in pretend sympathy but was actually stoking his anger and bitterness at Rey. While acting concerned for Ben, he encouraged him to find her and get even in their present lifetime. He had convinced Ben that Rey had killed him in their past life and that history would repeat itself and she would be his downfall once again. Hux had even convinced Phasma through this reasoning to participate in the plan.

 

Hux seemed to possess an understanding of how past lives worked. Ben had trusted him and confided in him, realizing only later that it had been a mistake. But even when he had lost the heart for getting revenge against Rey for her perceived wrongdoing against him, he always thought he could control Hux and therefore posed no real threat. After all, he had controlled him easily in his past life, and he hadn’t thought the CIA would take Hux and his parapsychology project seriously.

 

He hadn't counted on Hux getting a job with the CIA and actually amassing power through his security clearances. When Hux proposed helping him find Rey and then using his position to keep her prisoner, it had sounded good to Ben at the time. Truthfully, he didn't think the government would support it and he didn't pay it much thought. But he liked the idea of being able to keep her from running from him. He had planned to do it on his own terms, though, at the hospital setting he controlled. 

 

However, something had happened to him after meeting Reychelle. His feelings of bitterness toward the girl had softened, realizing she wasn't the same woman who had broken his heart, even if she  _ was _ the reincarnation of Rey of Jakku.

 

Her vulnerabilities in her present life had made him protective toward her. The way she had doggedly pursued improving her mental health as well as her physical health had greatly impressed him. She had the same force of will and determination that she had in her former life as a Jedi, and if anything, the fact that she had come so far with no help from the Force impressed him even more.

 

The night she had almost drowned had made him see just how foolish his quest for revenge had been, but Hux had not been able to let go of the plan. Even then, Ben had thought he could keep Hux at bay.

 

Too late, he realized that Hux had established himself well within the government and had the military means to act on his threats. Because Hux had been his subordinate in their past life, Ben had assumed he would obey him in their present incarnations as well. 

 

He tried once more to concentrate and communicate with Rey, straining hard to hear a response from her, but he only heard the relentless self-accusations he hurled at himself in his own mind.

 

Sitting up, he realized he was not going to be able to help Rey this way. Time was wasting, and, glancing at his phone, he knew with certainty now where she was. He left the psych unit in long strides, breaking into a run as he exited the building. He reached his Harley and slung his long leg over the seat. The engine roared to life, and Ben Solo sped off into the inky black night.

 

* * *

 

True to her word, Padme had not tried to escape. Hux had driven her to a high-security military compound in the desert. She had glimpsed the barren landscape and then the high barbed-wire fence surrounding the structure. It looked like an impenetrable fortress with a labyrinth of buildings within its borders. It was heavily patrolled by soldiers. 

 

She had gone with Hux docilely when he led her inside one of the buildings. Despite her passiveness, Hux hadn’t trusted her and she was now seated in a chair that bore restraints for her wrists and ankles. Days had passed without him having any success in hypnotizing her.

 

“You’re not concentrating!” Hux said in frustration. 

 

Padme simply stared back at him cooly. 

 

“Perhaps the fault lies in your technique, Chancellor. Forgive me if I find it hard to relax in these surroundings. I believe that’s essential if your subject is to respond appropriately. I fail to grasp what it is you want from me,” Padme said in a bored voice.

 

Hux narrowed his eyes at her. Her regal bearing and speech pattern let him know he was still dealing with Padme Amidala, not Reychelle. He had never seen a case where a past life regression took hold so firmly that the subject remained lost in the consciousness of her former past life self when awakened. Reychelle and Rey would have had no memory of him as General Hux or Palpatine, but Padme had recognized him as the Chancellor almost immediately. Her hatred and disdain of him were clearly written on her face. 

 

He advanced closer to her, wishing he possessed the Force and could just take what he needed from her mind, as Ren had been able to do to most of the unfortunates he interrogated. To go from being Emperor of a galaxy to a General with the First Order who possessed no Force ability had been a comedown, but being a parapsychology professor with no extrasensory abilities was even worse. He was dependent on harnessing the psychic ability of others to achieve power now. However, with hypnosis it was necessary to have a willing subject, as Padme had pointed out. 

 

He frowned. He needed to provide his superiors with proof of her abilities. There were military targets and intel the government wanted to gather from a person capable of remote viewing. 

 

“You said you would cooperate with me if I reunited you with your daughter,” he hissed.

 

“Yes, and I came with you quite willingly and without a struggle, yet you have me restrained to a chair and expect me to relax and go into some sort of trance? Even though your voice and face are different in this life, I recognize you for the detestable manipulator you are, Chancellor. Your every utterance sets my teeth on edge, so I fear relaxation is not possible when you speak,” she said bitingly. 

 

Hux looked at her thoughtfully, ignoring the persistent vibration of his phone. Ren had been calling him ceaselessly, no doubt having figured out that he had taken Padme. No matter. He had schooled Ren in the use of hypnosis himself. He knew the techniques of hypnosis, so Ren was not necessary for getting information out of Padme. Unless he couldn’t break her himself, and so far she was impervious to his threats. 

 

“You would be wise to try harder. No one would ask questions if I were to terminate your life, Your Majesty. Or do you prefer ‘Senator?’”

 

“I’m not afraid to die.”

 

A muscle twitched in Hux’s face. He could see that she meant it. He rose and slowly circled the chair in which she was restrained. If Hux could get the information from her, it would give him the recognition he craved, perhaps even a promotion and more power to go with it. He battled with his anger and his ability to mask his true feelings and smiled ingratiatingly at Padme as he unshackled her wrists and ankles. He tried a more diplomatic approach.

 

“You always wanted to help your people. You can do that here. If I release your restraints, will you try once more to focus on the remote object I want you to view? You will be helping your country as well; it is a weapon in a hostile country that your government wishes to locate.” 

 

Padme rubbed her wrists and turned to him in fury. 

 

“This isn’t my home planet, let alone my country! I’m tired of doing all these mental exertions for you. There are things I wish to know also. You tell  _ me _ , Chancellor, how did you get my husband to turn to the Dark Side? I already know you filled his head with lies about how once he turned Dark he would have the power to save me. You knew he had nightmares about me dying in childbirth, didn’t you? You read his mind. You manipulated him, knowing his love for me made him vulnerable,” she accused.

 

Hux smiled chillingly. 

 

“He turned so easily, I can barely claim credit for it. You saw him. You felt his anger when he choked you on that platform, didn’t you? I saw the security tapes on Mustafar, you see. I saw you fall, although Obi-Wan checked your life signs when Anakin had turned away. Later, after they dueled, I rescued him from certain death and rebuilt him to be even stronger than he was before. His first words after the operation to reattach limbs and a mask with respirator were of you. He wanted to know if you were alright. He was most distressed when I told him he killed you in his anger.”

 

“That is NOT what happened,” Padme snapped. She dimly recalled giving birth and her great despair and desire to let go of her life force. It was Obi-Wan’s sad shake of the head when she asked how Ani had fared that had robbed her of the desire to live. 

 

But Obi-Wan was wrong. Unbeknownst to him at the time, Ani had not perished after their duel. According to Leia, he had become a Dark Lord of the Sith and everything he had sworn to oppose. At least her son, Luke, had redeemed him before he died. She would give anything if she could see him one last time. She knew there was good in him. But if Ben Solo said he had tried hypnosis on himself before and had no memories of Anakin, then where was his soul? Had he reincarnated into someone else she hadn’t met or had his soul finished its karmic cycle and left him at one with the Force?

 

There was only one way she could see to find out. And if it worked, perhaps it would help her find her lost love...

 

She took a deep breath. “Keep those stupid restraints off and I will try again. But on my terms. You will hypnotize me and try a more simple exercise first. Something of my choosing. Perhaps if I could recall something from my last moments, say an object that was dear to me, then I’d have an idea of how to find this weapon you seek. Let’s practice this ‘remote viewing’ on something I’m familiar with first, and then maybe I’ll have some idea of how to do this.”

 

Hux looked at her shrewdly. Padme wasn’t stupid, and he wasn’t sure what her angle was, but he supposed it would do no harm. Maybe she had decided it was pointless to resist. Perhaps while she was under hypnosis he could persuade her to let go of her consciousness and let Reychelle return. Then Padme and her memories would mainly be a faint echo as Rey’s were. Reychelle would be easier to manage, he thought. She was just some little nobody mental patient, after all. Yes, he’d let Padme have this semblance of control if it would serve him in the end.

 

“Fine, Your Highness. Why don’t you focus on the flame of this candle again and I’ll guide you into a state of hypnosis.”

 

“You know, Ben is much better at this than you are,” she stated matter of factly. 

 

“Ben isn’t here,” Hux said curtly, circling her and daring to cup his hand under her chin to force her to look at him.

 

Padme pulled away with distaste, smacking his hand away. “Have a care how you treat me, Palpatine. You may have the countenance of a young professor now, but all I see is evil incarnate when I look at you. It is hardly conducive to trust. I cannot relax when you are so bent on intimidating me, and it defeats your purpose.”  _ You moron _ , she thought, but she reminded herself what her endgame was.

 

“In fact, I cannot possibly relax with you hypnotizing me. It won’t work. We’ve been at this for days, and I’m just getting angrier the more I think about what you stole from me,” she snarled.

 

Hux thought of his objectives and fought his frustration with the woman before him who was the key to his advancement. It was a situation where finesse, not brute force, was needed. As he ruminated on the problem, it became evident what he had to do. 

 

While it was satisfying to think of Ben Solo destroying his office and perhaps even himself over the loss of his precious Rey, how much sweeter would it be to have him here extracting the information out of her himself and _ still _ not being allowed to take her away with him? It would go a long way in evening the old score he had with his past-life rival. Perhaps he would let Ren come here and perform the hypnosis. 

 

But first, he would try a trick from the past.

 

Smiling a sickly sweet smile at her, Hux leaned forward, his fanatical eyes gleaming as he spoke. 

 

“You are beaten, Your Highness. It is useless to resist. It would be a pity if I had to resort to making your friends suffer.”

 

“I have no friends here,” Padme replied neutrally. “I feel no connection to whatever friends my present self made. I only care for my children and grandson.”

 

“Is that so? Don’t think I can’t make them writhe in agony, my dear. In fact, your grandson is probably out of his mind not knowing where you are.”

 

At that moment, a soldier entered the room and saluted Hux. 

 

“Sir, we have a situation. There is a man at the front gates demanding to see you. He says his name is Dr. Solo and that he works with you. There is an urgent matter he wishes to speak to you about. Do you wish to see him?”

 

Hux looked at Padme and then back at the soldier. “I didn’t give him this location. How did he know where to find me?”

 

The soldier shrugged.

 

“Nevermind. If he is alone, bring him here. I’ll need several guards to escort him and watch him. He may try to cause trouble. Understood?”

 

“Yes, sir!” The soldier saluted again and left the compound. 

 

“Is this your doing?” Hux accused Padme angrily. 

 

Padme cocked her head at him as if mulling it over. 

 

“I don’t know. I certainly  _ hope _ so, since it seems to upset you. But in the spirit of cooperation, truthfully I’m not conscious of doing anything to bring him here,” she replied honestly.

 

“It is of little matter. Ben Solo is my puppet in this life just as Anakin Skywalker was in the past,” he sneered.

 

“Right up until the point where my son persuaded my husband to kill you, you mean,” Padme sweetly reminded him. 

 

“Don’t get your hopes up, my dear,” he said coldly. “I have an entire military base at my command. Neither of you has the Force, so do not place your hopes in some foolish rescue attempt.”

 

“I’m exactly where I want to be,” Padme replied serenely, addressing her tormentor. “The question is, are you? Ben Solo is coming for you.”

 

“He can’t touch me,” Hux snapped. But he looked unnerved at her words.

 

There was a sharp knock at the door, and then the insertion of a key in a lock and the heavy metal door swung open. Four burly soldiers escorted Ben Solo into the room. 

 

“We have brought Dr. Solo, sir,” the lieutenant said. The guards on either side of Ben had a firm hold of his arms. Ben stood quietly without struggling. He only had eyes for Padme.

 

Hux turned to him and appraised his meek demeanor. After a long moment, he spoke authoritatively. 

 

“You may come forward, Dr. Solo. Guards, you are to remain in the corner of the room in case he gets out of line.”

 

“Yes, sir.” The guards released Ben’s arms and retreated to a corner of the large room. 

 

Ben went quickly to her and dropped to one knee, hesitantly taking her hand.

 

“Are you alright...Padme?” he asked quietly, searching her eyes and not finding Reychelle. “Did he hurt you? Did any of them harm you?” he asked anxiously.

 

Padme placed her other hand on top of his and reassured him. 

 

“No, unless you count Hux boring me to death by trying unsuccessfully to hypnotize me for the last however many days it’s been.” 

 

“It’s been several days,” Ben murmured. “You’ve been eating and sleeping? Have they tortured you? I’ll kill them if they did.”

 

“No, Ben, I’m fine,” she reassured him. 

 

“How on Earth did you find her? This location is top secret,” Hux snapped. “Did you use remote viewing to find her?”  

 

“Nah, too much of a headache,” Ben replied blandly. “I figured you might try something like this, so I had Phasma sew GPS trackers in her clothes. Padme wasn’t even aware of it.”

 

Hux turned red as he realized how easily he had been found. 

 

Ben continued in a bland tone, “I wish you’d quit having these delusions that this woman and I have some kind of superpowers. Frankly, it must be quite embarrassing for you to need so much backup for a small woman and a mere hypnotist.”

 

“A hypnotist?” one of the guards piped up.

 

“Silence,” Hux demanded.

 

“I can make you cluck like a chicken if you want a demonstration,” Ben grinned at the guard. “But if I had real superpowers, I’d make use of them. I wouldn’t have had to have you guys let me in to deal with this imbecile. As you can see, I’m an ordinary man who knows how to make people relax and remember traumas. That’s it, I’m afraid.”

 

“Hmmph,” sniffed the guard, unimpressed.

 

“Well, you’re in luck then that your ordinary services are required, Dr. Solo,” Hux said stiffly, trying to save face in front of the guards. “She has been resistant to my hypnosis efforts, so perhaps if you’d be so kind you could demonstrate your skill.”

 

“Has this guy been telling you he’s a hypnotist?” Ben asked the guards in an almost joking manner. “Stage magician, maybe. Hypnotist, no. But I guess he fooled enough people here to get some authority. Doesn’t it piss you off that you guys are actually paid to defend your country and this guy is bullying poor mental patients to see into the future or whatever?”

 

“That’s enough, Ren!” an enraged Hux screamed at him.

 

Padme turned to the guards meekly and batted her lashes at them. “Could I please have some water? That man has been badgering me so much and then I was tied to this chair for such a long time...I feel quite faint.”

 

“Yes, ma’am! We’re sorry for that, ma’am,” a young soldier blustered, hurrying out of the room to fetch water before Hux could stop him.

 

“Don’t the rest of you move,” Hux snarled. “I am a general here. Remember that.”

 

“Are you, though?” Ben asked quizzically. “I thought you told me that was an honorary title the CIA gave you. He’s certainly never trained for battle like you guys have,” Ben winked at the other three soldiers. 

 

The other soldiers shifted uneasily and two of them looked at Hux contemptuously.

 

“He’s good at bullying helpless women, though,” Padme said, rubbing her wrists and accepting the glass of water the other soldier had hastily procured for her.

 

Ben gave her an approving nod. He knew she was far from “helpless,” but she was playing her part well.

 

Hux turned even redder as he observed the looks the other soldiers were giving him.

 

“I’m so glad you’re here, Dr. Solo. Did you park the space shuttle outside? I didn’t hear it land,” she said for the benefit of the guards.

 

Ben turned to Hux. “You really need to let me get her back to the hospital. I knew she wouldn’t be okay without her medication.”

 

“That is enough, all of you!” Hux said shrilly. “I am in charge here! This is my interrogation and the prisoner is...is...quite dangerous!”

 

Padme stood up shakily and swayed toward the nearest soldier, who quickly caught her and lent her his support. 

 

“Sir, this woman can’t weigh over 100 pounds,” the soldier exclaimed.

 

“Don’t challenge me. Size has very little to do with it,” Hux said sternly to the soldier. 

 

“That’s what he tells his wife,” Ben said in a loud stage whisper to the other soldiers. 

 

The soldiers couldn’t help themselves and started elbowing each other in the ribs and snickering. The soldier who was supporting Padme gently transferred her to Ben’s arms. 

 

Hux looked at the chortling soldiers and then back to Ben and Padme in fury.

 

“Alright, that is enough from all of you! I am in command here! You do not know what this woman is capable of! You- you saw her come with me willingly!” He pointed at a soldier. 

 

“As you just heard, she also thinks I have a spaceship,” Ben told them. “I’m happy to conduct a session,  _ Professor  _ Hux, but after that, I think this woman needs to return to her civilian life, and it’s quite obvious she needs to be in a hospital, not a military compound. You are all complicit in the torture of this innocent civilian woman who has limited mental capacity,” he said to the soldiers sternly.

 

“Sir, we didn’t know-”

 

“You do now,” Ben said firmly. “And I’m sure you’ve run my record. Have I committed any crimes that would make you think I’m dangerous?”

 

“Ah, no sir-”

 

“Just following our orders, sir.”

 

“Get the hell out,” Hux said to the guards furiously.

 

“Save me!” Padme moaned piteously. 

 

The officer who had caught her wavered by the door and looked at Ben.

 

“As long as she leaves with me, she will be safe,” Ben promised, and the soldier nodded and left the room.

 

“It’s just us now,” Ben said to Hux as the door clicked shut. 

 

Padme opened her eyes and Ben gently set her down, placing her behind him. 

 

“You asshole, do you realize what you’ve done? My military power is what will give us all our greatest glory! If you sabotage me, you sabotage yourself,” Hux yelled at him.

 

“I don’t care. I never wanted any power. You can have it, but you’ll have to do it without me,” Ben said resolutely. “I’m taking Padme back now. Don’t try to stop me, or I’ll completely dismantle you and tell your superiors what a charlatan you are. Did you forget it was my money that aided your research efforts? I’ll tell those officers out there that you hoodwinked me and that all your psychic claims are bullshit.”

 

“You wouldn’t dare,” Hux whispered. 

 

“Try me.” 

 

The two men glared at each other. 

 

“Ben,” Padme spoke. “Ben, I want you to do a hypnosis session with me. Right now. Here. I did tell him I’d cooperate, after all.”

 

Ben stared at her incredulously. “Padme, you don’t have to. I’m going to take you out of here. You don’t owe him anything.”

 

“I’m not doing it just for him, Ben. Trust me... _ please _ .”

 

“Alright,” Ben nodded slowly. “Whatever you want, I owe you that, and I’m going to get you out of here and back...back to your own time.”

 

Padme nodded. “Ben, I want you to know I’m proud of you. I’m sorry for all your pain in the past. I wish I’d lived...I don’t know if it would have made a difference or not. Maybe things happen the way they’re supposed to, but...I wish I’d been able to know you...then. I wish so many things had worked out differently.”

 

Ben swallowed hard. “Did you love my grandfather?”

 

“More than anything,” Padme whispered. “And he loved me. So much so that he was an easy target for Palpatine - that man,” she pointed to Hux. “He is the man who twisted your grandfather’s love into something dark. He convinced him that by doing terrible things to gain the powers of the Dark Side he would be able to save me from death. Instead, those very acts broke my heart and caused my death in the end. But he was a good man first,” she finished, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

 

“How can I help?” Ben asked her quietly.

 

“Hypnotize me. I want you to ask me to remember my life with your grandfather. Take me back to when I first met him, when he was a young boy and I was a Queen, and ask me about the most precious gift he ever gave me. Have me focus on it in every detail. This is very important.”

 

“This is all nonsense and not what I brought her here for! I-”

 

“Shut up, Hux. You’re really lucky to be alive right now,” Ben snarled. “Back off. You might even get something out of this session if she can do it. But I don’t want to hear another word out of you. We’re not done, you and I. But for now, this is about Padme.”

 

Hux glared at him, but retreated to a corner of the room and folded his arms.

 

Ben and Padme sat in opposing chairs. Ben produced a handful of glass wands with different colored sands and glitter inside them and asked her to choose one. After a long moment, she settled on one Reychelle had never reached for, a wand with twin colors of orange and yellow. Rotating it slowly in front of her, her gaze focused on the falling sands. The two colors swirled around each other in twin spirals. 

 

“I want you to relax all of the muscles of your body,” Ben began, inducing the hypnotic state slowly, having Padme think back in time to when she had first met Anakin. Her breathing grew more shallow and Ben could sense the trance was working. 

 

“Listen to the sound of my voice and tune out all other thoughts and sounds. You are going back in time to when you were a Queen who had met a young boy, Anakin Skywalker. He gave you a gift this day that you would treasure all your life. Do you remember it?”

 

“Yes,” Padme breathed. 

 

“Tell me what you see…”

 

“I’m on a spacecraft. I’m wearing an orange and yellow dress. I’ve received bad news...the death toll is catastrophic. My people are suffering and dying. It’s very cold, and I walk over to Ani and cover him with a blanket. He’s just a little boy...perhaps 10 years old. I tell him it’s very cold in space, and he comes from a warm planet. He tells me I seem sad. He tells me he’s made me something. He hands it to me.”

 

“What is it, Padme? Describe it to me.”

 

“It’s a piece of jewelry he carved for me from a Japor snippet,” she replied. 

 

Ben remained silent, not knowing what a “Japor snippet” might be, but clearly Padme saw it. 

 

“He says it is so I will remember him. He says it will bring me good fortune.” She smiles. “I feel it. It is small, like a pendant for a necklace. Ivory in color with brown symbols carved into it. I carried it with me always.”

 

“Are you holding it now?” Ben asks her.

 

“Yes...it is with me, even in death,” she says, startling him.

 

“You see your death?” Ben whispered.

 

“Yes… through another’s eyes. Through your beloved’s eyes, when you were saving her by the pool. She saw me in my coffin, flowers like stars in my hair, this pendant clasped in my hands. Touch my right hand. Feel it,” she urged.

 

Ben hesitated. She was clearly under hypnosis, yet she was still aware of him. He had never had a subject direct him to do something before. He decided to indulge her. He slowly got up from his chair and knelt in front of her, placing his hand over hers.

 

He closed his eyes. Impossibly, he felt a small object in her hand as she had described. He started to take it, but her hand firmly clasped around his. 

 

“Come back to me,” she whispered. “Ani, come back.”

 

* * *

 

Ben felt a wave of dizziness sweep over him. He felt as though a great swirl of energy was engulfing him, swirling around them both. In a tremendous rush, images filled his brain. He saw Padme smiling down at him, comforting him with a blanket as she accepted the small pendant from him. More images...he was older and she was breathtakingly beautiful beside him on a picnic in a meadow, just like he and Reychelle had once done. 

 

But the images were growing stronger and pushed all thoughts of his present life from his mind. He was a young Jedi now, fighting battles beside his mentor, Obi-Wan. Sneaking away to see his love, Padme, whenever he could. Marrying her in secret on Naboo. Lying beside her at night, awakening from nightmares of her dying in childbirth. 

 

The joy and worry that filled him when she told him he was going to be a father.

 

Striking a deal with the devil, giving his soul to the Dark Side to save his pregnant bride. Committing atrocities at the behest of the Chancellor. 

 

Mustafar. Padme. Padme had betrayed him - he choked her with the Force and she collapsed. The rage -  _ the hate  _ \- that filled him as he fought Obi-wan, so consumed by the Darkness that he lost not only her but himself. 

 

Grief...unutterable, blinding grief, hearing Padme had died, and that he - he had killed her. The hollow, vengeful years after when he let the rage and grief drive him on to greater heights, culminating in finally choosing the Light guided by the love for his son...Padme’s son. His son. 

 

_ Their son. Their twins.  _

 

“Oh, Ani.”

 

He opened his eyes and saw her, not as she actually was but as they had been on Naboo. Her other hand was gently stroking his cheek. 

 

“How I’ve missed you, my love,” she whispered.

 

“Padme...you’re alive? I thought...the Emperor said I killed you.”

 

“That was a lie, dearest. I thought you were dead. Obi-Wan thought that too. I couldn’t face losing you, the darkness of what happened. But until my last breath, I knew there was good in you. I told Obi-Wan that.”

 

“Luke - our son - he told me that too. He brought me back to the Light...but I...you can’t possibly still love me,” he said thickly.

 

“Ani, I have crossed space and time to find you again. I don’t know how, but somehow we’re here. Then...and now, you have to know I never stopped loving you. If only...but you’re here now.”

 

“Padme…”

 

“Anakin...kiss me.”

 

The air seemed to shiver around them, and Anakin opened his eyes and saw Padme, radiant and bright, gazing up at him with love. He bent his head to hers and kissed her, his soft lips tasting hers. Memories of better times filled their minds, when their love was young and new. 

 

His left arm encircled her, but she kept his right hand firmly in hers, as if letting go of the pendant would break the spell. So he didn’t. Their kiss seemed to go on forever…

 

An unpleasant sound intruded, and reluctantly Anakin drew back from her and straightened.

 

“...and I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but what we agreed upon was-”

 

With a single look, Anakin threw the intruder against the wall. 

 

“Anakin, don’t.” She sounded fearful.

 

“That’s...he’s…”

 

“Yes, Anakin, but don’t leave me. Please. Hold onto me, PLEASE!” She gripped his hand so hard he could feel the edges of the pendant digging into his flesh. 

 

“He lied to me!” Anakin roared. “If not for  _ him _ we would be together! You would still be alive! I would never have become Darth Vader!”

 

“Anakin, no!” Padme pleaded. 

 

“Good, my Apprentice,  _ good!  _ Give in to your hate; it makes you powerful! Your abilities are returning, and together we can rule as we were destined to do!” 

 

“More lies - more manipulation. Anakin,  _ listen _ to me!” Padme begged, firmly holding his hand. 

 

“Let me kill him first,” Anakin whispered, the rage dimming the radiance that was swirling about them and growing dark as a thundercloud. “He deserves it.”

 

“Anakin, did he force you to choose the Dark Side? I know he lied; I know he told you it would save me, but who made the choice? Don’t you see, in life after life it comes down to this: love or vengeance and power. Ani, I struggled so hard to find you…”

 

Anakin hesitated. His hate was strong. It had blinded him for most of his life to the good things around him. He could have had a wife and children, but he had listened to that blackhearted demon who had led him down a path to a sunless sea of swirling darkness so vast it had almost drowned him. 

 

He could give into his impulses as he had before. He could kill the Emperor/Hux. Or, he could choose Love and be with his soulmate. The choice was his.

 

“I love you, Padme.” He pulled her close, his heart hammering in his chest from the surge of emotions. This time, he had chosen wisely.

 

“Anakin, I’m fading,” she said quietly.

 

“Don’t leave me!” he panicked. 

 

“Come with me, my love,” she said softly. “This is not our time.”

 

“I can’t let you go again,” he protested. “How will I find you?”

 

“Perhaps in the Force...perhaps in another lifetime. My spirit will never stop seeking yours. You’ll remember me in the eyes of another. Something familiar will pull you to me. I don’t pretend to understand how, but I know we’ll find each other again. Your soul will recognize mine. Have Faith.”

 

“Padme…”

 

“We have to let go, Anakin.”

 

“I’ve never been very good at that,” he muttered.

 

She laughed softly.

 

“‘Sometimes we must let go of our pride and do what is requested of us.’ You told me that.”

 

“Not a day went by that I didn’t think of you. I told you that, too.”

 

Padme and Ani’s eyes met, and for one last time, they kissed. 

 

The darkness that had threatened to overshadow him was dwarfed by the blazing light of their love. Warmth spread through their chests, expanding until the heady feeling of their love seemed too big for their bodies, too big for the room, too big for the Earth. Anakin felt the tug of his hand clasped in hers, and with faith and hope filling his heart, he released her hand, releasing them from their corporeal tethers and allowing their spirits to soar.

 

Hux watched in astonishment as Ben and Rey slumped quietly to the floor. Beside their bodies, a square white object with carving on it fell from their hands and made a slight noise as it bounced once on the floor, then settled and vanished from sight.

 

* * *

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this was a satisfying chapter to write! I hope you are satisfied with it; I wanted to do Anakin and Padme justice and hope I did. 
> 
> Anidala has been endgame since day 1 of writing this story, but it was a question of how to get there. Reincarnation has been a tricky topic, especially with Padme "in the driver's seat." I didn't really know how to phrase that. I think it caused some confusion because it's not three souls in one body, it's one soul over three lifetimes. Pretend I hypnotized you and you remembered you were Cleopatra and then in another lifetime you were Caligula. You'd have echoes of memories of that lifetime, but you wouldn't actually BE that person in your current lifetime. It's supposed to be that way for Rey/Padme/Rechelle, Hux/Hux/Emperor, and now Ben/Ben/Anakin. Padme just had unfinished business and was jolted out of hypnosis while she was still recalling that lifetime, so that's my reasoning for how it happened (just go with it). 
> 
> Weird thing that happened: On Tumblr I have a post where I included a GIF of the wand Ben would use on Padme this chapter. It was Orange and Yellow. In reality it was because I never stop collecting these things when I see them and I recently picked up an orange and yellow one, which you can see in the GIF (I'll be back with a link). Anyhow, then I was researching what the name was of the pendant Anakin gives Padme, and I found a YouTube clip of the Japor snippet. In the clip, Padme is wearing a deep orange robe over a yellow dress or skirt! I found that AFTER buying the wand and writing the chapter, but it was cool how it fit together like that. I see Anakin's aura as orange and fiery and Padme's as pure yellow light in my mind. 
> 
> Shoutout to @sunshinedrawnbymoonlight on Tumblr to thank her for giving me feedback on what characters to focus on for this chapter. Her instincts are great!
> 
> I did not have a beta for this chapter, so all mistakes are mine. I'll try not to leave you hanging for so long between updates. In fact, I'm getting a head start on the next chapter tonight! Estimating completion of the story by Chapter 25, if not sooner.
> 
> I appreciate every kudo and comment I receive! The comments have been invaluable. It helps knowing what you liked as well as what you didn't, and I pay attention to all of them! I got mushy on this chapter; I couldn't help myself!
> 
> [ The Hypnotist Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/user/catness1969/playlist/141YsStWY3Ue6AdGUWCxbQ?si=EFx2xBucQH6_i_Kae-ak0A)
> 
> I'm on Tumblr at [ @pandoraspocksao3 ](https://pandoraspocksao3.tumblr.com/).
> 
> I'm also on Twitter at [ @Pandora_SpocksAO3 ](https://twitter.com/Pandoraspocksa1/).


	22. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BeeBee the cat goes missing, Phasma is unraveling, and Ben and Rey are still detained in a military detention facility by Hux. *No beta on this one; all typos are mine!
> 
>  
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156517059@N08/46595543195/in/dateposted-public/)  
> 

* * *

 

 

Ben slowly opened his eyes, his head throbbing, and his vision blurry. He closed his eyes again and it came rushing back to him. The memories of Anakin's reunions with Padme, seen through Anakin's eyes. He marveled at the fact that he had been Anakin, his own grandfather, in a former life. And Rey had been Padme. While he couldn't remember everything about Anakin's life, there were echoes of memories and flashes of his past life. He felt in his heart the great bond Anakin had with Padme before power had corrupted him and had driven him to an overbearing need to control the events in his life. 

 

Anakin had truly believed if Padme had joined him they could rule the galaxy together, overthrow the Emperor and have peace. It was exactly what he had tried to do with Rey in their past life. Was he trying to do it still? Going along with Hux’s plan, believing Hux's story about Rey trying to kill him and his need for revenge to repair his aching heart. Now he had a fresh chance with Reychelle, and what had he done? He had tried to win her over and then tried to protect her by keeping her in the psychiatric ward, believing he was protecting her from Hux, but also knowing she could not leave him. 

 

At the heart of it, Ben was afraid Rey would leave him as she left him after their battle in the throne room. 

 

He could see the similarities with him and Reychelle, even mirroring the playfulness in the meadow that Anakin had had with Padme. Reychelle had proved she was no weakling, even if she had personal struggles she battled hard to overcome. Why couldn't he have just trusted her and let her fight alongside him to back Hux off? He was always so busy trying to control every aspect of everything, and it only backfired on him time and time again.

 

No more.

 

Wincing a little, he opened his eyes and slowly the room came into focus. He was lying on a cot, a very simple Army cot. The room was small, about the size of a cell. There was even a toilet and a sink in the room, and a heavy steel door with a glass plate window which was certainly locked.

 

He got up, feeling a lump on the side of his head that was probably causing his headache. He went to the door, only to find it had no handle on the inside. He pushed against it, but it did not open, as he expected. Hux had decided to lock him away, apparently. He pounded on the door, but no one came to look through the window.

 

Frustrated, he returned to the cot and sat down on it, thinking about Reychelle and wondering if she was in a similar room. He reached out with his mind, trying to connect with her telepathically.

 

_ Rey? Reychelle? Can you hear me? _

 

There was no answer. He pulled himself into a cross-legged yoga pose and meditated, picturing her in his mind, blotting out everything around him, shutting his eyes and tuning out all other noises around him. He concentrated on Rey and meditated, breathing slowly, in and out, trying to picture her surroundings.

 

He did not know how much time had passed, but dimly a vision of her appeared before him. He opened his eyes, and it was as if she were right in front of him. She was sleeping on a cot like his. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was steady. She was asleep.

 

_ Rey? Rey, please wake up. Come back to me, Reychelle. _

 

Her eyelids fluttered. He saw her lips move.

 

_ Rey, listen to me. Concentrate on me. Focus. You can do this. Speak to me using your mind. Focus on me and try to visualize me. _

 

He watched as Rey kept her eyes closed. She took a deep breaths and appeared to be concentrating like he had shown her during their hypnosis sessions.

 

_ Ben? Can you hear me Ben? _

 

Ben breathed a sigh of relief.

 

_ Yes, Rey, I hear you. I can see you, too. Not your surroundings, but I see you. Open your eyes and see if you can see me. _

 

Her eyes opened wide and she rubbed her eyes as if to clear them. Then her gaze locked on to him.

 

_ Ben, I see you! But just you. This is like before... _

 

_ Yeah, but with no interfering uncle to ruin the moment, _ he joked.

 

Rey smiled. His heart lifted at the sight of that smile.

 

_ Ben, how are we doing this? It's not possible to have a Force bond on Earth. _

 

_ It is. It's called ‘remote viewing.’ It's what Hux wanted you to do with military targets. It didn't sound like it worked when he  tried to hypnotize you before. Don't overthink it. Just keep looking at me. How are you feeling? Is Padme ... Is she gone? _

 

_ She's gone, _ Rey replied. _ It felt almost like a vivid dream for the last couple of days. I remember what she said, I feel what she felt. _ Rey paused.  _ She loved Anakin so much. So much it hurt. _

 

_ And he felt the same way about her, _ Ben replied softly.  _ Just as I felt about you before... and just as I feel about you now.  _

 

Rey ducked her head shyly.  _ How do you know your feelings are for me? Not for the other Rey or for Padme? _

 

_ I know it's hard to grasp, but we have been other people in other lifetimes, and in each of them I have loved you. Reychelle, I've seen your struggles. I know your flaws. I also know your strengths: the way you care about your friends, the way you work on the parts of yourself that hold you back. You have so much courage. Your humor, your smile. You, Reychelle. It's you that I love. _

 

Rey look down at the floor for a moment, color flooding her face.  _ I think maybe I'm finally starting to believe I'm worthy of being loved,  _ she thought.

 

_ What about you? _   Ben asked tentatively, afraid of her answer.  _ I've made a mess of things. Both then and now. I know that I should have found another way to protect you from Hux. If I'm honest, I wanted to keep you where you could not run away from me again. It was controlling  and unforgivable. I don't expect you to love me in return. but I promise you, I'm going to find a way to get you out of here and for you to be safe. _

 

_ Ben Solo, have you learned nothing over three lifetimes? I love you. I loved you then and I love you now. You told me once to let the past die. I don't know that we can ever escape our past, but we can forgive, both each other and ourselves. _

 

Ben bowed his head. He felt Light, her Light, all around him. He also felt a lightness of being, as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Emotions swelled in his chest as he felt the enormity of her love for him and his for her.

 

_ Ben, _ he heard her say. He looked up and saw her hand outstretched toward him. He responded by slowly extending his toward hers. He didn't feel a physical sensation as his fingertips brushed hers, but all the same his heart filled with joy.

 

Then a creaking sound burst his concentration and Rey vanished. He turned angrily toward the door and met the smug visage of Hux.

 

* * *

Phasma entered her house in a hurry. The texts Ben had sent her were short and to the point. Hux had taken Rey, and Ben was going to find Rey. But he didn't know Hux the way she did. If only he had told her his plans, she would have gone with him for backup. They had both underestimated Hux, and now Rey was gone.

 

She hurriedly filled the food dish of Rey's cat, BeeBee. She looked in her room and then in Rey's, trying to think of the last time she saw the orange and white furball. The cat usually slept on Rey’s bed, but since she had been gone he had taken to sleeping with Phasma, and she reluctantly admitted to herself she liked having him snuggled up to her at night.

 

"Here, kitty-kitty," she called, trying to entice him to come out for his treats. After a few minutes, she grew concerned. She darted from room to room looking for the furry little nuisance, as she used to refer to him. He was not on Rey’s bed, not on her bed, and not in the kitchen by his food dish.

 

She didn't have time for this, she thought distractedly. She needed to deal with Rey's abduction, check on Evie, and try to reach Hux and find out why the hell he had taken Rey and try to talk some sense into him before Ben killed him.

 

She cursed as she almost tripped over one of BeeBee’s many ping pong balls. She paused and listened to see if he would dart out and play with it. There was no sound other than the rolling ball as it traversed the hardwood floor.

 

Stupid little beast, she thought. She felt a sudden pang in her heart and tried to recall the last time she had seen him. With all the hospital drama, she had spent more time there than at home.

 

She saw a sudden movement in the curtain by the window overlooking the pool. She ran to it hopefully and brushed the curtain to one side.

 

To her horror, she saw that the window was opened slightly, enough for a cat to squeeze out. She opened the door to the back patio and pool area, anxiously scanning the backyard to see if there was any sign of him. She called his name again and again, but BeeBee did not appear.

 

She felt the unwelcome sensation of tears prickling in her eyes. She had promised Rey she would take care of him. And the thought of something happening to the fuzzy beast was actually upsetting to her.

 

From the living room, her phone rang shrilly in the stillness. Phasma brushed the tears out of her eyes impatiently and dashed back to the living room to retrieve her phone. With any luck it would be either Hux or Ben. She frowned as she saw an unknown number on the screen. She went ahead and answered it, thinking perhaps one of them had picked up another phone to call her.

 

“Hello?” she snapped.

 

“Hey, is this Phasma?”

 

She didn't recognize the masculine voice on the other end of the phone.

 

“Yes, this is she. Who is this?” she asked guardedly.

 

“This is Finn. You aren't going to believe who showed up at my house.”

 

Heart pounding, Phasma tried to keep her voice calm.

 

“I've no idea, who? And how did you get my number?”

 

“Well, for one thing it's engraved on the collar of Rey's cat! I wasn't 100% sure it was her cat until now. It sure looks like him, and he showed up last night. I texted Rey, but she didn't text back. I haven't heard from her for over a month, in fact. Can I speak to her?”

 

Phasma swallowed. She was relieved the cat was okay, but this was going to delay her in finding Rey and Ben. However, Finn's questions would prove problematic if she didn't handle them right.

 

“I have been looking for him. Thank goodness he is okay. Where do you live? I'll come get him right now,” she answered, pointedly ignoring his question about Rey.

 

“I'm about 5 miles from where are you are. I can text you directions. I can't believe her cat showed up at my house. That's pretty weird. How does a cat do that?”

 

“I'm on my way,” Phasma answered in a clipped tone. She hung up the call before he could say anything further. A moment later, Finn's address appeared in a text. She looked in Rey's room and picked up the cat carrier she saw sitting in the corner. Then she grabbed her purse and rushed out the door.

 

Ten minutes later she was impatiently knocking on Finn door. The door was answered by a petite beautiful Asian girl wearing a man's bathrobe.

 

“Sorry, I must have the wrong address,” Phasma said in confusion.

 

“No, come on in! I'm Rose, Finn's girlfriend. Honey, she's here!” Rose called over her shoulder. 

 

Rose ushered Phasma into the living room where Finn sat on a sofa, stroking an orange and white cat.

 

“Thank God,” Phasma muttered.

 

Upon hearing her voice, BeeBee shot off of Finn’s lap and ran to her, rubbing his body against her legs.

 

Phasma scooped him up quickly, holding him tight and checking him over anxiously. He didn't appear any the worse for his travel.

 

“Guess he's your cat all right,” Finn said. “So where’s Rey? Why didn't she answer her phone or come over to pick him up herself?”

 

“She's gone back to that retreat,” Phasma said calmly. “She told me she was really getting a lot out of it, so I said I would watch the cat for her. Part of the experience is not carrying your phone with you. She checks in every few days with me,” she improvised, trying to explain Rey’s absence. “I didn't realize that a window was open in the house. I've been working a lot and I just noticed the window was open about the time you called. He- oh, crap!"

 

Phasma looked down, mortified as tears ran down her cheeks. She never cried in front of people, much less that former traitor and his girlfriend. At least they obviously had no idea of their previous past lives.

 

“Hey, girl, it's okay. It's obvious you love him as much as Rey does,” Rose said, handing her a tissue and ushering her into the living room. “Come sit down with us for a few minutes.”

 

“I really need to get going,” Phasma said. “I have to get some work done at the hospital. Actually- well, I have a family emergency and I may need to go out of town. Is there any way you could look after the cat for a few days if I need you to?”

 

“Yeah, no problem,” Finn replied. “When you talk to Rey again, can you tell her I said hello?”

 

“Sure,” Phasma said. She recalled the date where Rey had tried to set them up and how dismissive she had been toward Finn.

 

“Listen, I know we didn't get off on the right foot, but I'm- well, I really appreciate this,” she finished awkwardly.

 

“No problem,” Finn replied. “We'd be happy to watch him for you until you get back. What are friends for?”

 

“Thanks, I’ll tell Rey what you are doing for her. And I appreciate it, too.”

 

“You're a friend, too,” Rose chirped, giving her a quick hug.

 

_ I don't have friends, _ Phasma thought.  _ I have colleagues. The closest I've come has been Rey, and I let her down. And if these two remembered who they were in their former lives and who I was, they wouldn't be treating me like a friend. _

 

“Thanks again,” she said quickly. “Sorry, but I have to run. I'll check in with you in a few days and let you know if I need you to watch BeeBee.” 

 

She scooped up the purring feline and felt her eyes watering again. She turned and fled before they could say anything else.

 

* * *

Ben regarded Hux as he entered the cell. He was carrying a taser in his hand, which he brandished in front of him in case Ben tried to attack him. He slumped back on the cot and arched an eyebrow at him.

 

“I’m glad your memories have fully returned, my apprentice,” Hux said, his green eyes glinting with satisfaction. Perhaps now that you realize who I am and who holds the power, we can work together again as we once did and achieve glory once more.”

 

Ben scoffed. “Is that what you think happened? You manipulated me. You lied to me about Padme when I was Anakin. You said I killed her, and it wasn’t true. By then, you’d twisted my mind so much with the Dark Side that I poured all my hate into helping you achieve the power you craved. I had nothing left. Even when I found my son, you gave an ultimatum that he had to join us or die. I was fool enough to fight him. Thank God he prevailed.”

 

“But nothing changed for you in your next life,” Hux taunted, moving closer to Ben and sitting across from him, taser in hand. “You tried to kill him again on Crait, remember?”

 

“That was my  _ uncle _ ,” Ben snapped. “And it was because he tried to kill  _ me _ before.”

 

“Tsk tsk. It all gets so dreadfully confusing when you consider the reincarnation business, doesn’t it?” Hux smiled. “He was the same person, and you did your best to kill him. I guess in the end, you did. Skywalker vanished and was never heard from again.”

 

Ben shook his head. This madman would never understand, but he did. Vengeance had only brought him grief in all his past lives. He still had time hopefully to correct his course in this life. He hoped Rey was doing all right, wherever she was being held.

 

“So now what?” Ben asked, pretending to look defeated and cowed by Hux and his silly taser. It was tempting for him to pounce and break his neck. Lack of Force powers or not, he could still overpower Hux in the cell, but it would be suicide to do so within a military compound. He forced himself to be calm.

 

Hux continued to smile. “We do things my way, now. You’ve proven your skills at hypnotizing the girl. I have a military target I told my superiors I could obtain. You are going to help me get it from the girl.”

 

“Rey. Her name is Rey,” Ben said hoarsely.

 

“It doesn’t matter what her name is. All that matters is that she has extraordinary powers of extrasensory perception, and you are going to help me harness them.”

 

“What, and be held prisoner in this place by you? Why would either she or I assist you?”

 

Hux frowned. “Careful, Ren. I hold all the power here.”

 

“No, you don’t. What will your superiors think when Rey doesn’t produce the target? Or produces the wrong one? What will your guards think when I tell them you’re a delusional moron? I’m sure those four you had bring me in the other day already thing that about you now,” Ben smirked. “Face it, Hux, you need my cooperation. You always did.”

 

Hux’s face turned ugly. “I can’t conjure Force lightning, but this taser can approximate a pretty good reminder of what it feels like. Perhaps you’ll be more cooperative then.”

 

Ben braced himself for the jolt of the taser. 

 

It never came.

 

Instead, the weapon flew across the cell and landed in his lap. Ben looked up with a start. Rey had projected herself into his cell and had telepathically moved the taser from Hux’s hand to his lap. She smiled at him. His girl was so  _ fierce _ , he thought proudly.

 

In a catlike reflex, Ben sprang from his cot and held the taser close to Hux’s neck. Hux grimaced in fear and recoiled, but Ben had a grip on him and the look in his face warned Hux not to test him.

 

“I wonder what a taser to the eye would do?” Ben whispered softly. “No one could get here in time before I’d taken away your sight. That was most unwise of you.”

 

“Don’t…” Hux whimpered, struggling to break Ben’s grip on him. He was outmatched physically by the other man. “If I call my guards, they’ll kill you.”

 

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that, but do you think I really care if my options are to be a prisoner here or to die? You’re the one with everything to lose,  _ General. _ ”

 

There was a tap on the door. “General Hux, may I enter? There is a problem with the female prisoner,” a guard called.

 

Ben slipped the taser into his pants. “Act natural, or I’ll just overpower you both and zap your eyeballs,” he whispered. “You’re going to tell the guards that Rey belongs back at the hospital with me and that the experiment will be conducted from there. That’s the deal back on the table. Take it or leave it, and think carefully if you want to live out the rest of your life as a blind man. Decide.”

 

Hux swallowed. The look in Ben’s eye convinced him the man meant what he said. In a quavering voice, he bade the guard to enter the cell.

 

“Sir, the girl fainted. She seemed confused and hasn’t been eating. She called out for her doctor and collapsed. I thought I’d bring her in here to see if he could help,” the young guard said. He was carrying a limp Rey in his arms. 

 

Ben stood quickly and moved to the guard’s side. “You did the right thing,” he said quickly. “The general and I were just discussing the situation and how her condition has been deteriorating. General Hux just told me he felt she needs to be back at the psychiatric hospital with me to make sure her health is being monitored, didn’t you, General?” Ben gave him a meaningful stare.

 

Hux hesitated, but then he saw Rey’s eyes open as Ben held her. She looked straight at him and narrowed her eyes, and suddenly one of Hux’s buttons popped off his military coat and clattered on the floor. It was a subtle warning as to what she might be capable of, and he assessed the double threat in front of him.

 

Hux turned to the young guard, who was awaiting his orders expectantly, and said, “Yes, I think it would be more productive for the girl to be returned to the psych ward with Dr. Solo. I shall return with them and bring several troops with me to ensure she does not escape or use her powers.”

 

“Her powers, sir?” The young guard appeared confused.

 

“The general feels the girl can see things in foreign lands and move things with her mind,” Ben told the young guard, while rolling his eyes. “I haven’t seen any evidence of that, but of course I respect the general’s opinion enough not to contradict it. Bring however much manpower you feel is necessary.”

 

Rey stirred in Ben’s arms and looked at the young guard. “Is the Mother Ship here to take me home now?” she asked in a little girl voice. 

 

“You can see the danger here,” Ben said to the guard. “Obviously she has summoned a UFO to pick her up that could be landing any minute. You’d better double the number of troops you bring, General Hux,” he said gravely.

 

The young guard looked at Hux a bit incredulously. “Sir, we’re thin on manpower as it is...she’s just a crazy- I mean she’s just a young girl with some mental problems.”

 

Hux’s face turned red. “You do not question the orders of a superior officer!” he barked.

 

“Yes, sir,” the guard replied doubtfully. “I’ll make arrangements for an armed escort to take them back.”

 

“You can follow us, but I’m taking her back on my motorcycle with me,” Ben said firmly. He looked into Rey’s eyes, and she smiled at him and put her arms around his neck.

 

“Whatever,” Hux said through gritted teeth. “We’ll be following closely though. Take her straight back to the hospital.”

 

Hux swung open the door of the cell and stalked out of it, leaving the young soldier to look awkwardly at Ben and Rey.

 

“I’m not sure what’s going on, but I hope you can make her feel better, Dr. Solo. And I’m not sure why you’re in a cell…”

 

“There are a lot of things going on you’re probably questioning, I’m sure,” Ben said knowingly. “It’s okay to pass on your concerns to another general if you feel something is amiss, you know. But I’ll take good care of the patient on my end, I promise you.”

 

“Ma’am?” The soldier looked at Rey.

 

Rey slipped to the floor and faced the soldier. “I trust Dr. Solo,” she said simply. “That other man, not so much.”

 

“I’ll get your things for you, Dr. Solo,” the young soldier said. “I’m not sure why you are in a cell, but if you don’t mind, it will just be a few minutes while we get ready to escort you back and you can get out of here.” He hurriedly shut the door as he exited. 

 

Alone with her at last, Ben looked at Rey and crushed her to his chest. “Are you okay?” he asked anxiously, breathing in the scent of her hair.

 

Rey gently pushed him back so she could put a hand on his face. “Of course I am. It didn’t take a Jedi mind trick to get the guards to bring me in here, just a little fainting spell. I’m fine.”

 

“And brilliant,” he added proudly. “Thanks for flipping Hux’s taser to me. I see you’ve mastered astral projection as well as telekinesis!”

 

“It wasn’t that hard,” Rey said modestly. “If you need a teacher, I’d be happy to show you how.”

 

Ben grinned. “I’d be a most eager student for anything you want to show me, Ms. Lumen, since I don’t think I have anything left to teach you.”

 

Rey gave him a sultry look and reached her hand up to play with the long hair at the nape of his neck. “I can think of one thing we’ve been dancing around you could teach me,” she whispered suggestively. 

 

The sound of the guards footsteps in the hallway made Ben groan as he kissed the top of her head and reluctantly stepped back from her. “To be continued,” he said. 

 

“Most definitely,” Rey murmured, as the door opened and they went with their armed escorts to return home.

 

* * *

 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it's been so long between updates! Life has been crazy lately. I'm not going to the SWCC, but I'm enjoying seeing everyone discuss on Twitter and Tumblr! I'll be wrapping this story up in the next few chapters. 
> 
> I always love hearing from you, so please leave a comment below if you are enjoying the story and let me know what you think!
> 
> [ The Hypnotist Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/user/catness1969/playlist/141YsStWY3Ue6AdGUWCxbQ?si=EFx2xBucQH6_i_Kae-ak0A)
> 
> I'm on Tumblr at [ @pandoraspocksao3 ](https://pandoraspocksao3.tumblr.com/).
> 
> I'm also on Twitter at [ @Pandora_SpocksAO3 ](https://twitter.com/Pandoraspocksa1/).


	23. When Life Hands You Lemons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey finally "do the deed." 
> 
>  
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156517059@N08/40644247973/in/dateposted-public/)  
> 
> 
> *I updated the tag to Explicit because there is a sex scene in the first part of the chapter. I don't do extremely graphic sex scenes, but nevertheless, there's your warning if you need one.

 

* * *

 

Rey settled back into her room at the psych hospital. She should have felt claustrophobic or worried, but she didn’t. She lay back against the comfortable overstuffed goose down pillows that were much too comfortable for a hospital bed. The sheets were soft Egyptian cotton with a fluffy duvet coverlet. She almost purred with contentment. The only thing that could make it better would be if Ben could join her, she thought, fantasizing as she caressed the pillow next to her.

 

She smiled, almost blushing at the memory of their many lives together. Ben was her soulmate. She hadn’t really needed validation of the fact, but her new memories confirmed it, and with her newfound strength from working out at the martial arts retreat plus the added fact that she carried Padme’s regalness and Rey’s badass moves in her soul, she felt confident she could handle anything that Hux/Palpatine might try.

 

Holding on to Ben’s broad back as his Harley raced toward her hometown, she had felt a sense of belonging and security with him that she had never known before. If he wanted to keep her at the hospital and play along with Hux for now, she was okay with that. But she was a grown woman in love with a man she knew she was destined to be with, and with those feelings came desire. Ben had put her off when she’d teased him about going further before, but lying in bed now and thinking about him, the only thing she could really focus on was exploring her fantasies with him.

 

Restlessly, she got up out of bed and put on her robe. The clock said it was 1:00 a.m. She wandered to the nurse’s station to see if Ben was there by any chance, and saw Nurse Evie sitting behind the desk, absorbed in a Glamour magazine, reading about fashion, no doubt, Rey thought with amusement. She cleared her throat slightly.

 

The pretty nurse looked up from her magazine and smiled brightly at Rey. “Hello! It’s good to see you again, Rey. I was worried about you. Can’t you sleep? I can give you a sedative if you want.”

 

Rey smiled. “I think I’ll skip it. I was hoping Ben might be around, but I guess not until morning, hmm?”

 

“No, he’s home in bed, I hope,” Evie said, brushing back her smooth flat-ironed hair behind an ear. “He needed the rest, poor thing. He was really tired. But...there are some guards stationed on the ward,” she spoke in a lowered voice. “Professor Hux said you were a flight risk and the extra security was needed. I’m sorry,” she said contritely.

 

Rey frowned, spying the uniformed men standing near the doors of the ward. “Evie, do you remember what Hux did to you?”

 

“What do you mean? Oh, he gave me a good dressing down for falling asleep, but I deserved that, I guess. I’m lucky I kept my job,” the nurse said nervously.

 

Rey looked at her incredulously. Why wouldn’t Evie remember Hux injecting her with that sedative unless...of course. Hypnosis. Either Hux or Ben had hypnotized her and she didn’t remember, Rey realized. It was Hux, she thought firmly, refusing to believe Ben would have done it to Evie.

 

“You’re a good nurse, Evie,” Rey said reassuringly. “How are things going with you?”

 

Evie’s face brightened considerably. “Great, thanks. Richard, my boyfriend, is flying in from Los Angeles to see me soon. It’s more fun when he flies me out to see him, of course. I love to shop, and he’s great about taking me clothes shopping on Rodeo Drive.”

 

“Sounds like a scene from ‘Pretty Woman,’ to me,” Rey laughed.

 

“He does treat me like a princess. I’m lucky I’ve got him,” Evie blushed. “He acts really interested in everything I tell him about the hospital. Oh, I don’t tell him your name or anything, of course! Just about the hypnosis studies and all that, and about Ben. He’s very interested in Dr. Solo. Richard used to study hypnosis himself! He wrote a book about it a long time ago.”

 

“Really? I wonder if Ben’s read it. What’s the name of it?”

 

“Oh darling, I really don’t recall. I respect what Dr. Solo is doing, but I don’t read about hypnosis much myself, although Professor Hux tried it on me a few times. I just don’t believe in it much. But it’s a hard book to find. He wrote it under his real name, anyway, so it would be hard to find.”

 

“Real name?” Rey asked in confusion.

 

“Oh honey, none of the actors use their real names. Most all of them change them, at least slightly. He changed his a long time ago.”

 

“What was it, if you don’t mind my asking?” Rey asked, her heart starting to pound a little.

 

“Oh, goodness, I don’t mind you asking, but it’s completely slipped my mind. It’s funny how I can’t remember certain things,” she laughed. “Don’t tell Ben! Anyway, I’m blanking on what his real name is. He does a little directing and also does the voices in some animated films, so you probably haven’t heard of him. He’s older than me, but I like older men. He’s so knowledgeable and funny! We’re a good fit. The name he uses in Hollywood is Richard Knight. But you can ask him when he comes down to visit, provided you want to meet him and Ben says it’s okay.”

 

“Yeah, I’m curious,” Rey said truthfully. Thanking the nurse, she returned to her bed, laid down and tried to get comfortable. It wasn’t that it wasn’t the best bed she’d ever slept in; it was that she was missing the person she loved sleeping beside her. _Soon,_ she promised herself.

 

* * *

 

At dawn, Ben entered the ward. He was greeted by two of Hux’s armed guards, who started to frisk him. Ben gave them a murderous stare until they awkwardly stepped back and resumed their watchful stance. Ben was in no mood to be under Hux’s thumb anymore and resolved to do something about the situation. What mattered right now was that Rey was out of that awful military compound and someplace safe that _he_ controlled. It was the safest place he could think of until he could deal with Hux and his demented plan.

 

He nodded to Phasma, who was getting the handoff report from Evie. Connix, of course, was late, he thought irritably. Connix was in her early twenties but acted more like a teenager. Still, she was loyal even if she was flighty, and she could handle Hux’s wife, which was something he couldn’t do well himself. His mother would kill him if he fired her, anyway, he thought. Leia had formed a real attachment with the girl when she was the medical director before her retirement. He should call his mother, he thought guiltily. It had been weeks since he’s spoken to her, and the anniversary of his father’s heart attack was coming up, so he knew she’d be depressed.

 

First things first, he thought determinedly. His long legs carried him quickly to the threshold of Rey’s room. He knocked softly, and when there was no response, he pushed the door open quietly. The soft light of dawn through the window illuminated her beautiful face as she slept on the pillow, her soft brown hair fanning out on the pillow behind her head. Unable to stop himself, he entered her room quietly, watching her as she slept. Tenderly, he reached out his hand and brushed a strand of hair from her cheek.

 

She stirred at his touch, drowsily opening her eyes and focusing on him. She smiled sleepily and reached out to grasp his hand before it moved away from her forehead.

 

“Ben...I was just dreaming about you,” she said huskily. “Come sit with me a moment, please.”

 

Ben's heart sped up, and he gingerly lowered himself to sit on the edge of the bed. Rey had his hand clasped firmly within hers and now she tugged him closer. Off balance, he fell onto the pillow next to hers.

 

“Snuggle with me,” Rey commanded, trying to draw him closer.

 

Ben hesitated, thinking of Hux’s men, their prying eyes, and her open door. Rey followed his gaze to her door, and with a flick of her wrist, the door swung shut. _I like telekinesis,_ she thought. She stared into his eyes hungrily.

 

“Is that all you want? Just for me to 'snuggle' with you?” he asked hoarsely, feeling himself grow hard.

 

“What do you think?” she said, reaching for his chest and undoing the buttons quickly, then fumbling with his belt.

 

“Rey, we can’t,” he protested.

 

She leaned close to his ear on his pillow. In a throaty whisper, she said, “Oh, but we can and we _will_ , my darling. We have several lifetimes to make up for, and I don’t give a damn about Hux and his cronies. I want you. We’re soulmates; we love each other. I don’t want to wait any longer. Ben, touch me...please.”

 

At the word “please,” he nearly came undone. He placed his large hand on the side of her head and drew her closer, staring into her hazel eyes. They were staring at his mouth. Seconds later, his full lips were touching hers, tentatively at first, then pulling her to him, deepening the kiss. Their tongues entwined and he groaned. She tasted like strawberries. Without thinking, his hand slipped beneath her nightie and cupped her breast. She sighed, lightly nibbling his lower lip. Ben felt her hand undoing the fly of his pants and slipping her hand through them to caress him, softly at first, then taking him more firmly in hand.

 

Ben struggled with his conscience. Didn’t he tell her they would not do this while she was a patient in his hospital? Wasn’t he ethically bound to keep things professional?

 

_Seriously, Ben? Ethics? After all that’s happened and your dumb plan? Now I’m stuck in your mental hospital and it’s partially your fault. So you know what? New rules. I’ve decided I’m going to just take what I want!_

 

She was in his head, reading his thoughts. Her words echoed in his brain without her ever having moved her lips. He shuddered at her touch, and try as he might to remember why this was a bad idea, he couldn’t bring himself to stop her from fondling him, stroking him and arousing him.

 

He trailed his hands along her well-muscled arms as she shrugged out of her nightie and straddled him. Her skin felt warm with a satin texture. Her hair fell loosely around her face, and her eyes burned dark green with desire for him. Her hands made short work of removing his shirt, and then she impatiently got up and tugged his pants off.

 

“Kriff, Rey…” he inhaled sharply. She was so beautiful standing proudly before him in all her glory, drinking in his naked form. “Are you sure?” he asked again, hoarsely. “Here? Now? We still don’t know what happened after-”

 

“Ben,” she said softly but authoritatively, “Shut up and kiss me.”

 

He didn’t have to be told twice. Rising from the bed, he stood, towering over her smaller form, lifting her up and feeling her legs twine around his torso. Her lips reached for his eagerly, and he gave in to the sensations that were pulsating through his body and kissed her, softly at first, and then with increasing fervor. Gently, his arms unhooked her legs and she slid down his body. With a quick swoop, he scooped up her legs and cradled her, carrying her to the bed and laying her carefully upon the soft nest.

 

Rey moaned as he kissed upward along one leg, leaving her gasping when he reached her center and she felt his mouth finally touch her core. She gasped and sighed, twisting her fingers through his silken hair, pulling it as she squirmed in ecstasy as his tongue made hot liquid swirls, bringing her arousal to a peak. His large hands slid up her torso, making her quiver at the contact, and her nipples hardened as his hands brushed over them, teasing her, taking his time.

 

At last it was too much for her, and she shuddered, her climax washing over her, and he felt it as she shared the sensation with him with her mind. He raised his eyes to hers in an unspoken question, asking permission. She nodded frantically. “Yes, Ben, please…”

 

He positioned her hips with a small pillow underneath. She handed him a condom, which he took with surprise. Apparently she had been planning this for some time! He hastily put it on, and then she opened her legs wide as he supported himself with his arms to align his hips with hers. She thrust her hips toward his, impatiently seeking him. He reverently kissed her brow, and then slowly began easing into her. Rey surged upward against him, taking him further into her body than he thought would be possible. “Oh!” she squeaked, her eyes opening wide as he breached her. Although it was torture for him, he stilled himself, asking her if she was alright. “I’m okay,” she gasped, although he could sense the sensation was somewhat painful for her.

 

He fought to control his instincts to take her roughly, but then he felt her nails claw his back. _Do it,_ he heard her mind shout at him frantically. _Stop holding back._

 

He began to move then, and she fell into a rhythm that matched his, thrusting her hips to meet his. Her mind focused on the pleasure she was giving him, and her intensity rivaled his as he took her again and again. Or was it the reverse...Rey was taking what she wanted, and he loved every second of it. At last, he found relief and collapsed on top of her, using his arms again to ease some of his weight from her. Rey pulled him close, nibbling his ear, stroking his hair.

 

At last, he rolled off of her and lay facing her. She had a smile on her face that looked satisfied and a bit shy.

 

“Was that...okay?” she asked with uncertainty.

 

“That’s what I should be asking _you,_ ” he said, still breathing heavily as he recovered. “You were...fantastic. Sublime. I can’t think of enough superlatives for what you are,” he said, tracing her face with his fingers.

 

“Good,” she whispered, her smile broadening.

 

“And how do you feel? Did it hurt?” he asked with concern.

 

“A little,” she admitted, “but it was my first time. I’m a little sore, but I hear it gets better with practice.”

 

“I’m looking forward to that,” he said, a rare grin stretching the muscles of his cheeks. “About this whole...situation. I’m going to get you out of here. I’m going to fix this. I’m so sorry-”

 

“I know,” Rey cut in. “You’ve apologized enough, and we’ll find a way out of this together. For now, it’s enough we’re here like this. And I don’t know what eventually happened in our past life, but you know what? I don’t care. Maybe we killed each other in another life. Screw it. I’m focusing on _this_ one,” she said firmly, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Hurting you is the last thing I want," she breathed into his ear.

 

He murmured his agreement and snuggled her close to his chest.

 

* * *

  

“You’re late,” Phasma snapped, as Connix stepped behind the nurse’s station, flinging her jacket carelessly onto the floor.

 

“Geez, bitchy this morning, aren’t we,” Connix said, rolling her eyes at Phasma and slumping into the chair beside the nurse. “Why are you so cranky?”

 

Phasma glared at the girl. “Am I the only one around here who gives a shit that Rey got kidnapped by that punk-ass pseudo “General” Hux and we didn’t get a single update about it until Ben got back with her? Do we count for anything around here?”

 

Connix snapped her gum. “You sound pissed,” she observed lazily.

 

“I am! Why aren’t you?” Phasma retorted.

 

“Dunno, maybe because this is just a paycheck to me. Hux moved her to a military location. That was always something they talked about happening, wasn’t it? Big whoop,” Connix yawned.

 

“Don’t you care about Rey at all?” Phasma asked.

 

Connix squinted at Phasma with a confused look on her face. “I think the better question is, since when do _you_ , Phaz? I never got the sense that you were all that happy with your roommate. You’re a loner. Why are your panties in such a wad over her?”

 

Phasma blinked. She supposed it was a bit out of character for her to show any emotion about Rey or anything, for that matter, but did everyone think she was heartless? And was Connix really such a moody, self-involved overgrown child that she didn’t care about Rey’s predicament? Of course, she was never in on the plan, she reminded herself. Ben and Hux hadn’t told Connix anything. Connix was just the assistant Ben had to hire because his mother liked the girl. It's not like she was connected with the shared past of the others.

 

“Nevermind,” Phasma sniffed. “Anyway, why were you so late?”

 

“Road trip this weekend,” Connix said casually. “Poe and I went camping. I didn’t get much sleep,” she grinned.

 

Reluctantly, Phasma smiled. “Guess you’re hitting it off with him.”

 

“You could say that,” Connix said laconically. “So where’s everybody at this morning? Not that we have a patient count anymore except for Rey. What’s up with the Army guys by the doors?”

 

“Hux,” Phasma said curtly.

 

“Oh,” Connix said. “Well, guess he got tired of her escaping every night.”

 

“Hux doesn’t even know about that,” Phasma protested.

 

“Fine, whatever. So where’s Ben- er, Dr. Solo?”

 

“He’s been in Rey’s room for a long time,” Phasma said, arching an eyebrow. “Why don’t you go check on them and see if he needs anything?”

 

“Why not. I need to stretch,” Connix said, making an exaggerated show of getting up from her seat and ambling off toward Rey’s room.

 

Phasma rubbed her temples some more. Her head hurt. She’d been worrying so much about Rey and Ben and how to help them that she hadn’t slept much. She jumped when she felt two hands clamp down on her shoulders and start rubbing them.

 

“Phasma, my dear. You don’t look well at all. Is there something the matter?”

 

Phasma’s blood ran cold at the supercilious sound of Hux’s voice behind her.

 

“Hello, Hux. I have a headache, that’s all,” she said carefully. “Why didn’t you answer any of my calls? I came in last week and Rey disappeared and then Ben disappeared, and neither of you felt you needed to inform me of anything?”

 

She felt the hands on her shoulders tighten like iron.

 

“Ow!” she said, pulling away from his grip.

 

“Sorry, my dear. I wasn’t aware I needed to _report_ to you about my decisions,” he sneered. “I’m a general. You’re a nurse.”

 

Phasma fixed him with an icy stare. “I’m a nurse who is a lot more useful at protecting lives than a general who never even went to a military academy. You only got that title because you’re the only person in that wacky paranormal program they have and they needed you to sound official.”

 

“Careful, Phasma. You need to know your place,” Hux said threateningly. “Just because I brought you in on our little plan doesn’t mean you get to know everything. You haven’t been treating me with any respect lately, so why should I tell you my plans?”

 

“Be careful yourself, Hux. I know you, don’t forget that,” she said, meeting his gaze.

 

An even more superior look appeared on his face. “Don’t be so sure you know everything about me, my dear. I’m what you might call...a very old soul,” he smirked.

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

He leaned forward and placed cold hands on her temples, startling Phasma by the strength in his fingers. They were like talons holding her head in place.

 

“It means you’d do well to do my bidding,” he hissed, and Phasma felt a small prickle of fear for the first time in his presence.

 

“Heya, Huxy,” Connix said irreverently, coming down the hallway and swinging open the half-door to the nurse’s station. “Giving out head massages, huh? Does Milly know that you do that?”

 

Phasma felt relief as Hux took a step back from her and released her head.

 

“Stupid girl,” he snapped at her. “Watch your tone with me.”

 

“Geez, so you’re in a bad mood too? So male PMS is a real thing! Where’s the Motrin so I can get through this shift?” Connix spit out her gum and aimed it at the trashcan next to Hux. Unfortunately, she overshot and it got caught in his hair.

 

“You little-” Hux spluttered.

 

“Connix, don’t throw your gum like that,” Phasma said sternly, fighting a smile and attempting to mollify Hux. “The bathroom is around the corner, as you know...General.”

 

Hux glared at them both, then without a word stomped off to the back.

 

“Thanks,” Phasma whispered, wiping her cold brow.

 

“He deserved it. Why do you look so pale? You’re not scared of him, are you? You never have been before,” Connix said in a concerned voice.

 

“Connix...listen, you need to show more respect around him. Seriously,” Phasma said urgently. “He’s- well, he’s a powerful man and very high up in the government.”

 

“You’re not telling me anything I don’t already know, so what gives?” Connix asked suspiciously.

 

“I- I can’t really tell you, but please stop trying to irritate him. You’re going to put yourself in danger,” Phasma said earnestly.

 

“Crap, you’re really scared of him,” Connix observed. “What did he do?”

 

“Nothing,” Phasma muttered. “What about Ben, did he need anything?”

 

“No, I’d say he pretty much has everything he needs,” Connix smirked knowingly.

 

Phasma made a face. “Another person not taking this seriously,” she muttered.

 

At that moment Hux reappeared, minus the gum in his hair. He carried a set of restraints with him. Breezing past her, he stepped out of the nurse’s station and motioned to the two armed guards to come with him.

 

“Where do you think you’re going with those?” Phasma shouted indignantly, rising from her chair.

 

Hux didn’t bother to answer her. Phasma exchanged a worried glance with Connix as he walked toward Rey’s room. They both got up and ran down the hallway after them.

 

They heard a heated exchange as Hux and his soldiers entered the room. Then, seconds later, Hux was flung backward into the hall. Sounds of a struggle ensued, and then Ben emerged into the hallway, his hands up, one soldier training his gun on the hypnotist as Rey was escorted forcefully by the other.

 

“At least I gave them a heads up to get dressed,” Connix said in an aside to Phasma.

 

Hux slowly got to his feet and approached Ben, who now had his hands handcuffed behind him. He didn’t say a word for a moment. Then he backhanded Ben hard across the face. Phasma and Connix both jumped at the unexpected violence.

 

“And now, my apprentice, you will stop wasting my time. You will get the girl to find the military target. If you can’t, you’re of no use to us and will be disposed of. Is that quite clear?” he said coldly.

 

"Go to hell," Ben snapped.

 

Rey struggled to get free of the other soldier to no avail. “Stop! I will cooperate, Hux. Don’t hurt Ben.”

 

“Yes you will,” Hux said slowly. His contemptuous glare took in Rey, Ben, Connix, and Phasma. “All of you will. You will obey my orders without question, or he dies,” he said, motioning to Ben.

“And no tricks. Whatever your abilities, I assure you that you will die from a bullet through the heart,” he said acidly to Ben and Rey.

 

“Take her to his office,” Hux instructed the officer. “Restrain her. And take Dr. Solo in afterward, but keep the handcuffs on and shoot him if he tries anything,” he instructed.

 

“Do you want us to go in with you, General?” Phasma asked as calmly as she could.

 

“No, I have no use for you now,” Hux said, nodding at her for using his formal title. “You and the girl can await my orders at the nurse’s station.

 

“As you say, General," Phasma said, grabbing Connix by the arm and taking her back to the nurse’s station.

 

Once they were seated behind the desk again, Phasma looked at Connix. “I suppose I need to bring you up to speed on a few things…” she began.

 

“No need,” Connix said briskly. “I’m way ahead of you, actually. And I have a plan for how to handle him if you’re up for it.”

 

“So...you know?” Phasma said, staring at the girl, who had transformed in the last few minutes from the gum-snapping sullen girl barely out of her teens into a confident-appearing woman who spoke without fear or hesitancy. “Who are you?”

 

Connix paused and then smiled. “Let’s just say...I’m with the Resistance.”

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the first weekend after Star Wars Celebration 2019! Oh my stars, what did you think of that trailer??? I have a million theories and questions. One thing that absolutely amazed me was Palpatine coming back. How perfect is that for this story? I was really enjoying watching the various meetups and panels on Twitter! 
> 
> I should have The Hypnotist wrapped up in the next two chapters, so stay tuned! Would love to hear your theories about how it's going and how they are going to get out of this mess! Several of you already called it about Connix being a double agent, but I hope a few of you were surprised!
> 
>  
> 
> [ The Hypnotist Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/user/catness1969/playlist/141YsStWY3Ue6AdGUWCxbQ?si=EFx2xBucQH6_i_Kae-ak0A)
> 
> I'm on Tumblr at [ @pandoraspocksao3 ](https://pandoraspocksao3.tumblr.com/).
> 
> I'm also on Twitter at [ @Pandora_SpocksAO3 ](https://twitter.com/Pandoraspocksa1/).


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